Title: Expecting
Author: EntreNous
Rating: NC-17 overall
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Summary: The things that happen when you're least expecting them...
Archive/Distribution: At my site, http://www.geocities.com/entrenous88/ now and at list archives. Anywhere else, please ask first.
Disclaimer: All Btvs and Ats characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and affiliated production companies. I do not profit from this story in any way. No infringement is intended. The story, however, does belong to me.
Feedback: Yes, please. New Addy : entrenous88@g... or on my updates list http://www.groups.yahoo.com/EntreNousUpdates/
AN/warning: mpreg

From Part Six:

"Just a minute," Willow said. "Giles, can you--?"
"Yes, why don't we--" Giles responded, and the two of them fled into the kitchen.
Xander moved on the couch uncomfortably. When Spike's hand came to rest on his shoulder, he grimaced a bit, but unknowingly leaned towards the contact.
"Hey! Guys? That is so not fair!" Buffy called after Giles and Willow. "We don't keep magical secrets in this house! We're supposed to all find out everything at the same time. Right? *Right*? Guys?"

*****

Part 7

*****

Buffy frowned and turned back to Spike and Xander. "Don't you think that was kind of rude of them to --"

She stopped short when she saw Spike press his lips against Xander's forehead and stroke his tousled hair. An exclamation was on the tip of her tongue, but when Xander sighed and moved a bit closer to Spike, she merely made a choking sound.

"What's the matter?" Xander asked curiously. Spike's fingers were running through his hair, and Xander had his head tilted into the massaging touch.

"Oh, well, uh . . . nothing?" Buffy replied in a strained voice.

Spike dropped a kiss on Xander's head and stood. "Can't wait for tomorrow to find out what Angel knows -- if he can help, I want him to help now. Look after Xander, would you?"

"Look after Xander," Buffy repeated disbelievingly. "Those words seem like English, but . . ." She stopped herself from saying that it made no sense for *Spike* to tell her something like that when she saw Xander frown to himself and touch his head where Spike had kissed him.

"Good luck even getting in to that meeting," she said instead. She moved over to the couch and rested her hand on Xander's shoulder. "And Xander will be fine here with us," she added.

Spike shot her an annoyed look. "Yeah, sure Xander'll be fine here with you all -- tell me again the part about how you've cleverly figured out what's wrong with him."

"Hey!" Buffy exclaimed. "I've been out there--"

"Finding out nothing," Spike finished. "And the reason you couldn't get into Angel's little pow-wow is you'd make the demons all skittish. How's Angel supposed to broker a truce if the two sides are wondering what kind of trouble you're going to stir up?"

"Makes sense," Xander said half-grudgingly, half-admiringly. When Buffy looked askance at him, he mouthed "What?" at her.

"Fine," Buffy said as she turned back to Spike. "Go. See if you can get some answers. Just . . . go."

With a snort in Buffy's direction, and a small nod in Xander's, Spike left.

"Maybe I should check on Will and Giles," Buffy said, starting to move toward the kitchen.

"Buff, they'll come back when they've figured stuff out," Xander said. He paused and glanced at Buffy's tightened jaw. "Don't wig."

"I'm just trying to figure out what's up so I can fix it," Buffy said slowly and deliberately. "I'm *not* wigging."

"But you are," Xander said quietly. "You're freaked out that I slept with Spike. And you want to ask questions but you don't know if you should. It's making you jumpy, and that's making me feel ookier."

Buffy sat on the edge of the coffee table, and decided to take the part of Xander's words she could deal with. "It's not just me that's making you feel ooky, Xander."

"I know, I know; demonic influenza," Xander said. He pulled himself up a bit, and made a face when he had to lean back again.

She rested her hands on her knees and peered at him. "Yeah, demonic influenza."

A few moments passed while Xander turned on the couch and sighed and Buffy watched him with a keen eye.

"Hey, Xander? . . . And don't take this the wrong way . . . but you know, you looked a little better when I came in a few minutes ago. Up until when Spike left, you had some color. And your eyes didn't look so glaze-y. But now . . ."

Xander's hands flew to his face as if he could figure out how he looked by tapping his fingers against his cheeks. "Damn. I did feel kind of okay for a little while . . . and now I feel like I'm going to hurl again." On cue, he clutched his stomach.

"Want a bucket or something?" Buffy asked, scooting over on the table warily.

"Nah," Xander said miserably. "Don't think I have anything else left in me."

"Wish they'd come back in and tell us what's up," Buffy said, nodding her head towards the kitchen.

"You and me both."

She reached out and clutched his hand impulsively. Xander managed to give her a watery smile in return.

"We think we may have established a few things," Giles announced as he came back into the living room. "At least, we have ideas about what sort of tests we'll need to run now."

"Tests?" Buffy asked in confusion. "I thought this was spell-detective-material."

"Uh, see that's just it," Willow said in a rush. She stood beside Giles and twisted her hands nervously. "We think a spell might have been at the root of this . . . but what's happening now is a natural effect . . . well, not *typically* natural in this kind of situation . . . But it looks like this is more of a job for plain old reading of chemical reactions."

Xander exchanged a nervous look with Buffy. "Is that good news or bad news?" he asked.

Willow seemed about to answer, but Giles spoke first. "I think it best that we wait until after we've investigated some possibilities to answer more of your questions."

"Put that I'm now officially terrified at the top of your list of symptoms," Xander muttered.

At this Buffy squeezed Xander's hand so tightly that Xander gave a high-pitched yelp.

"Oh! Sorry, Xander, sorry!"

"That's okay," Xander gasped. He slumped back against the pile of pillows and took a deep breath. One of his hands went to rest on his stomach while the other lifted to massage his temples.

"Okay -- look at that. Xander's gotten much worse now that Spike's been gone for a while," Buffy said suddenly. "I was saying it before, and he's even paler now. When Spike was in the house, Xander was starting to look okay. But now . . . how come, do you think?"

Willow coughed so hard that Giles had to whap her on her back. He almost imperceptibly shook his head at her, and she answered in an overly-lighthearted tone. "Well . . . that could mean anything and nothing, so I don't think you should worry too much about--"

"What did he do to me?" Xander interrupted. His face paled and he grabbed at his blanket in apprehension. "Is this Spike's fault after all?"

Giles' lips twisted slightly. "I'd say that's what we're about to discover."

"Oh, Xander," Willow said feelingly.

"Oh, Xander what?" Xander asked. He was having trouble catching his breath, and his gaze flew to rest on each of them in turn before his eyes decided to roll back into his head.

"There he goes again," he heard Buffy say distantly, and he watched his eyelids as his vision greyed and then went dark.

* * *

"What's up with me waking up in a different location every time I come to?" Xander complained when he realized he was now ensconced on the couch at Giles' place.

"You seemed awake enough earlier when you kicked me in the chest as I tried to right you," Giles grumbled from the side chair.

"I told you that Xander sleep-kicks," Willow said gently as she sat on the end of the couch and patted Xander's feet.

"Yes, well, now I know about that idiosyncrasy first-hand," Giles said with a mock bow from his seat. He turned his head to Xander once more. "We're here because we needed access to certain materials in my apartment to run the tests."

Xander sat up a bit and put out a hand to steady himself. "Hello again to the dizziness. Any idea about which test we're going to try first?"

"We kind of did one while you were asleep," Willow said in a rush. "It just required a simple follicle sample to--"

"Hey!" Xander protested when he felt the almost-bare patch of hair at the base of his scalp. He looked at each of them accusingly.

"Oh, you can hardly see that," Giles said impatiently.

"Maybe *I* can't see the back of my own head, but anyone else who bothers to look . . . Hey, where's Spike?" Xander asked suddenly.

Willow very deliberately did *not* look at Giles. "He left while we were at Buffy's, remember? And then he stayed at Angel's what with the sun being up. But I though that, uh, you might want to see . . . or at least you might *feel* better if . . . well, anyway, Oz is giving him a ride back over here soon. Giles wants to tell everyone what the deal is once we've ruled out any chance of error."

"Unlikely that there has been any error," Giles said quietly, and Willow raised her voice with increased enthusiasm.

"Yup, so he'll be around soon, and Buffy is talking with Angel finally, and Oz'll be back too. We'll all be here for you. Everybody except Angel, that is, because he said he had to get something else for that clan negotiation brouhaha."

Xander waved his hand impatiently at her. "Okay, normally I'd ask how the Glaz'broth clan thingy is going, but I've got to admit, Will, you're distracting me out with the 'everyone will soon arrive and gather around to watch Xander die' talk."

"No one is dying," Giles said firmly.

"Then what's *happening*?" Xander asked. "If I'm not dead, and what's going on is all natural like Willow said before, how come you can't just tell me?"

"Xander, remember how you always talked about how you wanted to have kids?" Willow asked quickly.

"Uh, no," Xander answered. "I've never talked about that in my life. I think you've confused me with another Xander who likes to plan for his future. Besides, what does that have to do with anything?"

"How do you feel about raising children?" Giles inquired. "Do you have any objection to being around them? And what about--"

"I don't know," Xander said in confusion. "Is this some kind of weird test to figure out if something has messed with my procreative urges?"

"Oh, your procreative urges seem to be functioning perfectly," Giles reassured him. He cleared his throat nervously when Willow signaled that he should stop speaking.

"Ooooookaaaaay," Xander said with wide eyes. "Uh, Willow? Want to tell me what's up?'

Willow pressed her palms together and began. "Xander . . . I never thought I'd be saying this -- not that it's bad! It's unusual, that's for sure. Remember, though, just because something is different doesn't mean that it's wrong, even if it's not what we usually think of when . . . But I think you'll do really well, and everyone will help out, so it won't even be a question of how it'll work. It's kind of amazing, really, and you're like a trailblazer, a genuine pioneer, and years from now, people will--"

Xander held up one hand. "Willow. Stop. What is it?"

Willow took a deep breath. "Congratulations, Xander. You're pregnant."

*********

Part Eight

*********

Xander stared at Willow blankly for a few moments. Then he shook his head, knocked his palm against his right ear a few times, and said, "This is insane, but I swear, I thought I just heard you say I was pregnant."

"What Willow said is the truth, Xander. You seem to have . . . conceived." Giles rubbed at his forehead with his hand.

"Conceived?" Xander repeated, his voice breaking. He drew in a sharp breath, and abruptly erupted into a coughing fit. After nearly a full minute had passed, Willow gestured at Giles frantically until he went to get Xander a glass of water.

Xander took a few sips from the proffered glass and nodded at them to signal he was okay. But when Giles cleared his throat and began "Now, about your pregnancy," Xander choked and let the glass slip from his hand. The shattering sound as it broke against the floor made them all jump.

Xander laughed a little. "Giles. Willow. I know that things have been dull around here lately, but you two, not so good with the practical jokes, okay? I'll be alright, seriously. Sure, I'm worried about whatever this is, but you don't have to try to cook up something wacky like this to distract me."

Giles frowned and Xander shrugged, frustration evident in his voice. "I mean, if you don't know what's wrong with me, just say so."

"The fact of it is, Xander, we most assuredly *do* know what's --"

Willow interrupted Giles hastily. "Xander, I know it sounds hard to believe, but you really are pregnant. And the sooner you can bring yourself to face up to it--"

"Listen," Xander said firmly. "I'm not . . . I *can't* be . . . you both remember that I'm a guy, right?"

"Xander --"

"No!" Xander said loudly. "You're acting like crazy people. You think it sounds hard to believe? Try impossible."

"What's going on?" Spike asked as he rushed into the room. "You lot find out what's ailing him yet?"

Oz followed inside at a more leisurely pace and raised his eyebrows as Spike sat on the couch at Xander's side and touched his hand to Xander's cheek.

"Spike, quit it," Xander grumbled, but when he was pulled in that direction he gave a little sigh and leaned against Spike nonetheless, making a petulant sound once he was settled. Spike shifted to rearrange Xander into a more comfortable position, and glared at everyone else in the room.

"Well then," Willow said brightly, and motioned Giles and Oz into the kitchen.

Oz leaned against the counter and gave a sidelong glance at the couple on the couch before speaking. "Listen, I don't know what's up with Xander, but I think you should check out Spike next. He's acted kind of crazy all night. He seems a little . . . over-invested in Xander right about now. Any clue why?"

"Well, we have learned some things . . . but first, did you get a chance to speak with Angel?" Giles asked quietly.

"No, not with the negotiations still going strong." Oz shook his head thoughtfully. "Though . . . and this was really weird . . . at one point Angel came out of the room, stopped dead in his tracks, and growled at Spike."

"He did?" Willow asked nervously. "How come?"

"Not sure," Oz answered. "But they sort of muttered at each other, and Spike growled back, only louder and longer. And then Angel --"

"I imagine Angel can . . . scent that Spike and Xander have been intimate with one another," Giles said in a hushed tone.

"Spike and Xander?" Oz asked. "Huh. That's new."

"Oh, I keep forgetting that not everyone was here for every part of this," Willow fretted. "Yeah, when you were at Angel's Xander and I had a long talk, and he told me about it. I think he only came clean just then because he was worried that Spike had *done* something to him."

One side of Oz's mouth quirked upward. "You mean besides the obvious?"

"The thing is, he *did* to something to Xander," Willow continued in a whisper. "I mean, I guess it was both of them, or maybe someone else did it . . . and we're still not sure how they managed to trigger the spell, or who even planted the spell in the first place, but now Xander is pregnant and --"

"Xander is *what*?" Spike exclaimed loudly from the living room area.

* * *

Buffy screwed her lips up in concentration and swung her legs from her perch on Giles' kitchen counter. Everyone except Angel had been there discussing the Xander issue for a while already, but she wasn't the only one still having a problem wrapping her head around the recent developments.

"Okay," she tried again. "So somehow Spike figured out a way to make you have sex with him. And then once he got you into bed, he got you pregnant -- or something!" she added hastily before Xander could object again to the bandying about of the word "pregnant."

"Way you say it, 's like I'm the only one responsible from start to finish. *He* was there too, joining in all of the fun," Spike said, looking affronted. He was sitting on the arm of the chair Xander had slumped in, and as he spoke he unthinkingly stroked Xander's arm. When Xander turned to glare at him, he scowled and removed his hand, regarding his chipped black fingernails with pretended interest.

"Just leave the Spike part out of it for a second," Xander said irritably as he faced the rest of them again. "The point is not so much with the sex or the getting as it is with the *pregnant*. That's not what's going on, is it? I mean, how?!? There's no way! No way!" He turned in his chair and looked desperately around the room for some support.

Willow smiled uneasily at him. "You know, normally I'd be right there backing you up on the 'how' and the 'no way' -- what with Spike being a vampire and not so much with the reproductive capabilities, and you both being guys, but we took samples, Xander! Hair samples! And these demonic pregnancy tests are 97.999% accurate." She waved the box at him.

"I'm still getting over the fact that there's a demonic pregnancy test that comes in a box," Oz remarked.

"Yes, well," Giles muttered.

Xander desperately latched on to the only hopeful part of the news he'd heard so far. "Hey! But that's not fool-proof, right? 97.999 . . . So there's still . . . like . . ."

"2.111%, pet," Spike said helpfully.

"Thank you! 2.1111111% of a chance that this test is wrong, and that's something, isn't it? And don't call me pet, Spike!"

"Sorry, pet," Spike mumbled.

"Why *does* Spike keep calling you pet?" Buffy asked from the counter. "I get that you slept together, but are you all of a sudden a couple too?" She shrank back when Xander turned furious eyes her way.

"I don't know why the fuck he keeps calling me that," Xander hissed.

"Oh, nice language," Spike retorted. "You going to keep talking like that when we've -- you've -- got a little one on the way? You need to set a good example now, pe-- . . . Xander."

"I do not! Have! A little one on the way!" Xander shouted.

Spike regarded him and snorted. "Yeah. Right. Because all those outbursts sure aren't caused by moody-making hormones."

Xander's eyes narrowed to slits. "Do you *see* how he's provoking me?" he asked the room in general.

"Let's all sit down, shall we? It would be wise to keep our composure as we try to figure this out," Giles urged.

There was an uncomfortable pause.

"Um, Giles? We *are* all sitting," Buffy pointed out.

"Do you want us to sit more?" Willow asked doubtfully from her spot on the couch next to Oz.

"We could *change* seats," Oz observed. At that Xander skittered up and plunked himself down on the couch. Spike looked plaintively after him.

"Why don't we keep to the matter at hand," Giles said impatiently. "Xander's pregnant, and it seems that Spike is somehow involved. Leaving aside the expected objections about Spike's presumed infertility because he's, well, dead . . . and Xander's inability to carry a child because he's male . . . and leaving aside the evident dislike that both of them have felt for one another up until this point, and leaving aside--"

"But can't we leave Spike aside--"

"No protests, Xander . . . if we're to establish what has occurred, it seems clear that Spike is integral to the investigation. We can't ignore that he was the one to . . . well, let's simply say that he was involved every step of the way."

"You could say it like that," Spike put in with a cocky smile.

"Oh god," Xander moaned into the couch cushion. Oz patted Xander's hair lightly. There was a low growl from Spike at that, and Oz just as gently moved his hand away.

"Best way to do this is to start from the top," Buffy said after a pause. "What do we know -- what happened first?"

"Well, the night they had sex was the one that Giles that sent Spike and Xander to get that package from Angel at the mansion . . ." Willow put in.

"Speak of the git," Spike sighed when the front door opened and Angel stepped through.

Angel regarded them all with a wary expression.

"I think maybe I can help to shed some light on this," Angel said.

"By all means, if you know anything that can help the situation, we're grateful for your assistance," Giles said.

"How do you even know what's going on, Angel?" Willow wondered.

"Spike," Angel said shortly.

"Geez, you told him already?" Xander griped. Despite their reproachful tone, his words seemed to release Spike to edge closer to Xander.

"Didn't tell him. Must have put two and two together, pet. Figured the first part out from the smell, but don't know how he discovered the other," Spike said in a low voice. He hovered close to Xander's spot on the couch, and when Xander didn't object he sat on the arm of the furniture, smiling slightly when Xander moved closer to him.

"So what's the story?" Buffy asked Angel. "And, um, what's up with *that*?" she asked in a quiet tone, gesturing towards Xander who was now unabashedly resting his head against Spike's thigh, his eyes closed as Spike murmured to him and trailed fingertips gently down his cheek.

"There may have been a love spell," Angel said evenly to Buffy and Giles after he had pulled them further into the kitchen.

"May have been?" Giles asked. "Was there one or not?"

"Maybe. And . . . maybe a pregnancy spell. The package . . ." Angel continued.

"That's some kind of package," Buffy observed.

"Well, I didn't know that Spike and Xander would *open* it to see what was inside," Angel said in an aggrieved tone.

"Hold up," Xander said. He raised his head, and Spike growled, baring his teeth at Angel for making Xander shift away. "You knew about what was inside? What might happen if someone looked in? And you let *us* be the ones to get it for you?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that," Angel offered with a frown.

"Oh boy," Willow said inaudibly.

"Sorry," Xander repeated after Angel incredulously. "You've got to be kidding me. *Sorry*? That's *it*?"

"Now, now, pet," Spike said in a calming tone, patting Xander's arm. "Let's hear him out out. Won't do for you to get over-excited."

"And you," Xander turned on Spike. "You should be on my side, not telling me to . . . and how do I know that you're patting my arm out of whatever all of this is or because of some stupid spell?!?"

Spike dropped his hand abruptly, and he and Xander regarded one another with apprehension.

"What's going on?" Xander said weakly.

Giles closed his eyes, pinching the meeting of brow and nose in evident frustration. Buffy bounced on the balls of her feet, her fingers curled into tight little fists as she scanned the room for something to punch. Oz's eyes followed Spike's hand as it came close to then shrank away from touching Xander's shoulder.

Angel looked about as contrite as it was possible for him to look.

"Alright," Willow said brusquely. "This isn't doing anyone any good. Angel, you stay here with me and Giles, and tell us everything you know. Buffy, you go and patrol before you start to get antsier and make us all nervous. And Oz . . . can you make sure that Spike and Xander get home okay?"

Everyone stayed still for a moment, and then they all began moving to follow instructions. Except Xander, who stared at Willow pleadingly.

"But Will," he started.

"You need to rest," she answered. "And Spike seems to need to be near you," she added carefully, not adding that Xander also seemed to need to be close to the vampire. "Just . . . go home and get some sleep, eat something. We'll figure out what we can and reconvene. He's not going to hurt you, Xander, okay?"

"Not any more than he already has," Xander muttered as Oz shepherded him towards the door, followed by an extremely annoyed looking Spike.

********************

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