Title: Gargoyles don't cry!
Author: Shamenka
Rating: Very much NC-17
Fandom: Buffy - Angel
Warnings: RAPE, brutality, suicide attepmts - very, very dark angst.
Pairing: S/A (may change)
Archive: Dead Sexy. Mpreg, me - anyone else just has to ask OK?
Feedback: Please - this is a really dark fic form me and I'd love to know if
it works or not. Get back to me at Shamenka@AOL.COM
Spoilers: Buffy - Crush onwards slightly. Angel - up to The thin dead line
But from those points I go off at a tangent.
Summary: What Buffy wants isn't quite what Spike gets.
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys - just play with them.
Note: Guest appearances by the Greek Pantheon - not the Xena abominations
either:) (except Ares - they didn't really abominate him too much.. alas he
doesn't appear tho'!
Gargoyles don't cry!
By Shamenka
Spike was enjoying Dawn's company. He was packing his few tattered
possessions and preparing to leave delightful Sunnyhell for ever. The young
teen was keeping him company, pleading with him to stay and save her from a
world gone mad. Or rather, to save her from her sister gone mad.
"Look, if you really must leave, fine leave, but do me a favour first. Read
this story to camera, just so I'll be able to remember you. It'd be like you
weren't really gone forever. Please?" She whined and smiled and pouted,
anything that would make her adored Spike cave.
Spike caved, as he almost always did, over the little things. He was still
leaving however.
"Give's the story then!" He sighed, long sufferingly. Sounding far more like
he was the youngster's older brother than Buffy ever sounded like her sister.
He scanned the slim sheaf of pages and realised Dawn had written the tale
explicitly for him to read. He scanned through the piece and smiled
frequently, giggling occasionally.
Dawn sat in a stupefied delight, revelling in the fact that Spike enjoyed her
silly story so much.
"So, will you read it so I can tape you reading to me?" She hoped, held her
breath and prayed for a very small miracle.
"Oh, all right. Set up your bleeding video camera. Don't even know if I'll
show up on the tape or disc or whatever it uses." He smiled at his young
friend, then smiled deeper at the very idea of him having a human, or at the
very least an almost human friend. It felt odd, but nice, to have someone who
liked him for himself; not what he represented, not his so called status as
childe of the high master the great poofter himself.
Dawn dashed about, setting up her tripod, then the camera, choosing angles
and settings. Having fun. Which to Spike was the main idea in the whole silly
notion.
***
A few hours before their innocent fun, a phone called had been placed to Los
Angeles. Buffy had called Angel and asked him to have a word with Spike about
his supposed love for her. She talked to the not sleeping, emotionally
see-sawing formerly souled vampire. Even he didn't know if it was there or
not.
Not that he told Buffy.
All he did was listen to selected parts of her complaint. The bit where Spike
had chained her up, threatened her, had seemingly fed off a human. The high
points of Buffy's complaint alternated with the previous nights run in with
Cordeilia. The double poison of her diatribe against him and seeing Wesley,
seriously injured, in hospital, shot by a zombie cop of all things. And it
had been Kate that informed him, not his former employees.
As he listened to the monotonous droning of the mortal girl he had once upon
a time fancied himself in love with, an idea struck him. Maybe dealing with
Spike was just what he needed to vent his pent up anger and frustrations. It
wasn't as if he'd never done so before. He was an expert in the arts of pain
and suffering. Especially when it came to his youngest childe, Spike.
"I'll come down and speak to him tonight, it's still far to bright out there
for me to come down any sooner. Just don't tell anyone I'm coming. It might
get back to Spike and he's likely to bolt before I can have my say." He
forced himself to sound almost jovial, to make Buffy believe all he intended
was to have a few choice words with his errant childe.
"Fine, will we see you after you've spoken to Spike?" She sounded more
hesitant than enthusiastic. Which just angered the demon within even more.
"That would depend on many things. I couldn't rightly say." He let his inner
eye drift off to the picture his childe's face would be on seeing him walk
into his stupid little crypt. "Maybe is as best as I can manage."
"Okay, and thanks..." she paused then hung up, leaving Angel to plan his
visit.
***
Finally, Dawn was ready, they had established that Spike did indeed show up
on the camcorder. Now she had the camcorder set up to catch the blond English
vampire as he sat on the ramshackle bed he had once upon a time shared with
Harmony. He was perched comfortably and he had the pages of her story in
front of him. She set the camcorder going and stepped back into the shadows
so she didn't distract him, putting him off his stride.
He began to read her tale of love lorne demons being rescued by other world
Princesses with their mysterious powers and all powerful magic. Spike was
losing himself in the story, enjoying himself so thoroughly in such a human
task when the crypt door crashed open and his erstwhile sire rushed in on
him. Eyes filled with rage, hands filled with what looked like a large metal
spider.
***
On his way to Spike's hideously pathetic crypt Angel surprised a couple of
demons making some sort of a deal. He despatched them both, just for a warm
up, and took the item they had been trading with him. And their money. It was
an odd looking device, it had inward pointing spikes and looked as if it were
made just to hurt his stupid childe. An idea which fitted in so cleanly, so
beautifully with his half formed plans to hurt Spike that it made him smile,
genuinely smile in twisted delight.
Ahead he could hear Spike's voice, he seemed to be talking such utter
nonsense about Princesses and powers and romantic twaddle. Just as he always
was, a romantic fool. That reminded him, as if he needed reminding, that he
was there to stop his childe from loving his former lover. Opening the hinged
thing he'd so resently acquired he stormed into the crypt, catching Spike
totally unaware.
***
"There you are, you piece of cancerous shit. I should have dealt with you a
long time ago; but better late than never, as the old adage goes, hmm?" His
voice had that lilt, that slight touch of an Irish accent that Spike knew
meant Angelus, meant trouble.
The blond vampire looked at his sire, not the shadows where he knew Dawn was
hiding. Even if Buffy hated him, he couldn't let her be hurt by letting the
mad demon that was his sire, Angelus, anywhere near her, if he could possibly
stop it.
"What do you want, Angel? What have I done this time to rattle your cage?" He
met his mad sire's glance and almost froze solid at the cold rage he saw
there.
"Oh, touched that which is mine. Buffy asked me to 'deal' with you. Have a
word with you, and the word I have chosen is payback. Seeing as how you don't
really listen to mere words, that is." Angel reached for his childe and had
his neck in his newly acquired torture device. As he clicked the thing shut
the many spikes shot forwards impaling Spike's neck. Just as a burning fire
filled his belly. Spike didn't know what his mad sire had wrapped around his
neck, only that it hurt him inside and out. It drew blood as its metal legs
pierced the tender flesh of Spike's neck. The little rivulets of blood only
served to excite the emotionally shattered vampire even more. If that were
possible.
Noticing nothing but his prey, he dragged Spike up and ripped his tee shirt
from him, followed by his jeans and most of the skin off his chest. Ten long,
bloody scores covered the pale flesh. The nails of Angel's hands digging in
deeper than even he expected.
"What, not feeding right? Letting yourself slip like this is a punishable
offence, you know? Then again your very existence is cause for punishment,
and I'm here to deliver!" He finally got a response from his prey, the shock
was obviously wearing off and was fast being replaced by anger. Spike began
to fight back.
Spike gouged lumps from Angel's face, his hands, anywhere he could reach. He
tried to get up and break free from his sire's heavy hold, anything to make
this a fairer fight. As he stood, or at least tried to stand, Angel got a
knee between Spike's legs and crashed his leg upwards, crushing his childe's
cock and balls in the process. The pain flooded the younger vampires body,
stunning him for precious seconds, allowing Angel almost free reign against
the blond vampires defenceless body.
As payment for struggling Angel broke both of Spikes forearms.
The loud audible snaps made Dawn flinch, she was biting onto the hem of
Spike's duster sleeve to keep from calling out. There was nothing she could
do to Angel, no powers she could call on. She was not the magic Princess and
this was not her happy ever after vampire fairy story.
After the wrists, Angel raised a leg and kicked down on first one knee then
the other. Snap, snap and Spike was crippled, going nowhere. Angel threw the
younger vampire over the bed he had been sitting on.
"Right, lesson number one. Buffy is mine! Lesson two, you don't touch
anything that is mine!" With each lesson stated he double handed punched his
fists into Spike's spine, letting his nails drag even more skin off the
felled vampire as he did so. Flipping him over, he continued his lessons.
"Lesson three, I am the master, you are the scum!" This time he went for
Spike's face and ripped the skin from those delicate cheek bones. "Lesson
four, Buffy hates you!" This time Spike rallied a little and raised his
already broken arms up to try and protect himself. Angel simply wrenched his
arms and laughed as the bone ends ripped out of the younger vampire's skin.
Spike screamed again, and again, and again.
"Lesson five, everyone hates you!" Angel rolled his victim over once more and
pinned him there by his hair. He freed his deliciously hard cock from his own
pants and rammed into his childe. "You're not even a descent fuck!" Over and
over he pounded into Spike, ripping him apart inside and out. Enjoying beyond
measure the sight of his childe's crimson blood flowing so freely.
Completion came fast and furious, given Angel's state of mind it could be
little else.
"What, you didn't cum, you're saying it wasn't good for you scum?" he sneered
as he wiped the bloody gore from his rapidly softening cock and wiped his
hand over Spike's butt cheeks. "As if you matter!" He rained blows down on
the now bearly conscious younger vampire, shattering ribs with loud popping
noises, wrenching his back in an attempt to snap the younger man's spine.
Satisfied his lessons had been delivered he dropped the broken body back on
the bed.
"Be gone or dust by tomorrow night, or I'll repeat Buffy's message till you
learn it. I'm not fussed which option you chose, scum, so long as you do one
or the other!" With that he spun on his heal and marched back out of the
crypt and stormed through the town, savouring his rage as he made his way to
his mansion.
***
Behind him soft sobs could at last be heard. Soft cries from the young girl
who had had to stand by and watch the brutal attack her sister had ordered
for her best friend. She finally moved to him, forgetting that her camcorder
was still running. She knelt on the bed beside him, reaching for him.
"Spike?" she whispered between sobs. "What can I do? How can I help?"
"Box, there." Spike could only point with his eyes, every square inch of him
pulsed with a white hot searing agony and fear.
Dawn saw the only box that lay in the direction of Spike's eyes, she thought
it maybe contained medications, something to help him. She brought the box
closer to Spike and emptied the contents; a brightly coloured plastic pump
action water pistol and a few stakes.
Finally, fighting the urge to pass out, Spike crawled over the bed a little,
closer to Dawn.
"Take gun, holy water." He managed, fighting wave after wave of nausea. "Give
me the stakes."
"Why?" Even as she questioned him she complied, thinking he wanted to defend
himself.
Painfully slowly his hand closed over a stake and with even greater agony, he
pushed it towards her.
"Take, get home, use gun, use stake. Go!" Spike didn't fight the pain induced
tears that cascaded down his face, causing even more searing agony as the
salt burned into the rips on his face.
"What about you?" She asked anyway, even though she was fairly certain of the
answer she'd get.
"Am stuck here, can't heal in time, can't go through another incarnation of
Angelus. Go home, Buffy will protect you. I'm through." And turning the
second stake Dawn had given him towards his own chest he rolled over onto it,
impaling himself through the heart.
A blinding white light filled the crypt, having never seen a vampire suicide
before Dawn thought it all natural, just the product of a broken being dying.
She sat for a long time hugging the gun filled with holy water as she wept.
When she could physically cry no more she packed up her things, and the now
blood stained sheets of paper, put Spike's duster on and headed home.
Planing every second of telling the world what Buffy had had Angel do to
Spike. Out of shear spite. Just because he had loved her.
***
In the mansion, surrounded by the safe memories of Buffy and the joy of being
in her company, Angel finally slept. For the first time in a very long time,
he slept soundly untouched by dreams.
***
____________
Gargoyles don't cry!
By Shamenka
In the Summers' living room the Slayer sat with the Scooby gang who had
gathered to offer Buffy their support at her resent loss. They sat quietly,
just being there for their friend. Quietly remembering Joyce, just being
together. It was into that still tablaeu that a quietly crying again Dawn
entered. Concerned for her supposed to be sister's well being Buffy started
to quiz her as to what was wrong with her.
"Dawn? Where have you been? What have you been doing? You didn't go near
Spike again? After I told you to stay away from him! I told you he'd hurt
you. What did he do? I'll kill him!" Buffy managed to say all the wrong
things. She didn't even realise she had done so until her sister's face
screwed up in rage and hate, ready for her reply.
"This is what I did! Let me share my evening with you, huh?" Dawn crossed to
the television set and fiddled with a few wires, once the camcorder was wired
in to the television she hit playback and showed them all what she had done,
Witnessing Spike's rape and suicide.
Angel's voice echoed in the otherwise soundless house with his hate filled
statements that all his actions were from Buffy, at her request.
The slayer looked around frantically at her friends, begging, pleading to be
believed.
"I didn't, I didn't say to do that. All I asked was that Angel speak to
Spike, about his stupid obsession. That's all. I wanted Spike's obsession
with me over and done with."
"Well, it sure looks like it's as over and done with as it can possibly be!"
Anya snapped at the blonde slayer. "I'd say raped, beaten, dead is a pretty
thorough talking to, wouldn't you? I hope you're pleased with your outcome."
Having finished her short speech she headed for the door. "I think I'll be
going now. And I suppose I'd better move before you send Angel over to speak
to me too about all this!" She slammed the door after her. It was opened and
closed soon after as Xander rushed to catch her up.
"Kinda makes me glad I'm over my crush on you. You're sure evil when riled."
He opened the door and called out. "Anya, wait up, it's not safe out here
alone!"
"And you think it's safe in there?" The occupants of the Summers residence
heard her reply before the door slammed shut once more.
"Poor Spike, to die knowing the very person that you loved hated you so much
they ordered that!" Tara stood, finally tearing her eyes from the now blank
screen and turned to look at Willow, then Buffy.
"I didn't order... that!" Buffy pointed angrily at the screen. "I didn't."
"A..a..acording to the big guy you did! Are you saying Angel's a liar? Even
if you're telling the truth S... Spike isn't gonna know that, is he? Being
dead and all.." Tara reached for her coat and struggled through her rage and
tears to put it on. "Spike saved my life, saved my love with Willow, saved me
from my family and their sick perversions, and I never really thanked him for
it... now I never can!" Fury finally escaped her control and she rounded on
the slayer. "Sweet dreams Buffy, I hope you feel what he felt, know what he
knew!" There was yet another flash of light, this time not on the television
screen, and Tara stormed out the house too.
Dawn bent to retrieve her camcorder and the tape after rewinding it. She hit
play by accident and Spike's happy, amused voice filled the room.
"The Pan Dimensional Princess and the Vampire, by Dawn Summers. There once
was a lonely vampire..." She slammed the stop button, gathered her things and
ran out the room, heading for the stairs and the fragile sanctuary that was
her bedroom.
"I'd better go see to Tara, and see if I can get her to take back her
wish...good night." Willow looked torn, having to choose between her lover
and her best friend. Finally she headed for the door and Tara.
For his part Giles recalled the images they had seen and the ever close to
the surface memories of Jenny and her pain filled death.
"Angelus?" He asked, not actually able to meet Buffy's eyes.
"I think so."
"You going after him?" Giles looked towards the ceiling and the grieving
teenager upstairs. "Or staying here with Dawn?"
"I guess Dawn needs me, even if she doesn't know she does." Buffy managed a
strained smile for her watcher and mentor.
"You want me to stay?"
"No, I think we'd better deal with this between us. I'll be all right, Dawn
will be too, eventually. Thanks anyway." She walked Giles to the door and
quietly let him out. Turning to the stairs she tried to think of some way she
could comfort her sister, but couldn't even imagine what it had been like. To
be trapped there, in Spike's crypt while he was brutalised like that. A tear
slowly trickled down her face. "Oh God, Spike, I never meant that." She
climbed the stairs to face whatever was up there for her.
***
Spike found himself awake and lying on a clean, comfortable bed. All around
him was a purer, whiter light than he'd ever seen. Beside him sat Oz, the
werewolf he'd helped the slayer rescue a few weeks back.
"You dead too then?" He asked Oz.
"Nope, neither are you. You're here, with The Powers That Were. Sorta like
The Powers That Be, just older." Oz stood up and nodded to someone the other
side of Spike. He got up to let a dark haired, possibly middle aged woman
with gentle eyes sit on the chair. She smiled at Spike, her eyes touched with
a flicker of profound sadness.
Spike couldn't take his own eyes from her if he tried.
"Child, you have so many tasks yet to perform, for us, in return for which we
have healed your injuries. All of them except one." The mature woman leaned
forwards to reach for him, touching his face with a delicacy of touch he had
never known since a child with his own long dead mother. "I am Hera, Queen
around here by the way, and have been... elected... to tell you that you are
wearing what our missing children call the collar of Hera. Oh, that's demons,
much like yourself and young Oz here by the way. You are both part of our
missing children, and that collar is a... fertility device." She reached out
and took Spike's hands in hers, not letting him break her hold. "It works
despite the gender of the one wearing it. It was originally designed to allow
new widows to have a child fathered by their husbands after they had fallen
nobly in war. Do you see what it was meant for? It grants fertility. By the
undead, before Hades' domain claimed them. And there is no easy way to tell
you this little one, except honestly. You are pregnant, child, and we can't
stop it with out killing you, taking you to your final death."
As the truth of her words sunk in Spike screamed, cried, pleaded with them to
kill him. Through all his struggles and grief Hera stayed by his side,
holding on to him. Grounding him.
Oz too stayed in Spike's line of sight, silently being with him. Grieving
with and for him. Waiting for the storm to pass and the rest of Hera's story
to be told.
***
First light brought Angel awake, back from Angelus' madness. It also brought
full technocoloured, stereophonic memories with it. Every single thing he had
done the previous night. He had to wait the entire day, wondering if he's be
in time to save Spike from other imaginary demons harming him in his weakened
state. Wondering what Buffy would say if Spike told her what he had done. He
recalled in exacting detail each and every injury he had inflicted. He
remembered the joy inflicting them had delivered to him, to his demon. He
made silent plans to take his childe home and care for him, treat his
injuries, beg his forgiveness, give him the sire blood he would need to heal.
Be the sire he should have been, not what he was.
As soon as the sun set enough to grant him his freedom he hurried over to
Spike's crypt, his hands shook as he pushed open the door only to come face
to face with a tear stained Buffy. His childe's name died unspoken on his
lips, another name replaced it with dread.
"Buffy?" He whispered, somewhat shocked to see her there. "How... how is
Spike? I only realised what I had done when I woke up. I had no control,
Angelus was lose.." He stopped speaking at the sight of the rage building in
her face.
"My sister was here, she had been filming Spike reading a story she'd written
for him. They were happy, friends, having quality time as they say. Then you
arrived and she had to hide and you know what you did! You do know all of
what you did, don't you?" She shot him a filthy look as he nodded slowly.
"Well, I don't know if you'll be happy to hear this or not, to know that
Spike suicided last night, right after you left. Dawn helped him get the
stake and he killed himself! And she was still filming it, the camcorder was
still running. We all saw it! All of it." She walked towards him, quaking in
her unbridled rage. "How dare you ever say I asked you to perform such an
unspeakably evil act! That I wanted you to perform such wanton acts of
cruelty! Not on Spike, your blessed master, not any demon, person, anyone.
Ever! You have exactly the same choice you gave Spike, get out of Sunnydale
and never come back, or I stake you myself! You getting this, Angel, Angelus,
whoever you claim to be tonight? Leave!" She screamed in his face as she drew
her stake. All Angel could do was retreat and head for LA and home. Alone.
Alone except for his memories. The one fact pounding through his numbed mind.
He'd killed his childe. Raped him, tortured him, drove him to suicide. Killed
him as effectively as if he had staked the younger vampire himself.
How could things have gone so totally wrong? So quickly?
The only answer he had was Wolfram and Hart. Them and their interminable
drive to release Angelus, now it was something far worse that they faced. It
was a guilt ridden Angel. A purer, more focused guilt than he had ever
experienced before. It had a face, a name, a specific crime. It was Spike,
his beautiful, wild natured childe and Angel would exact his full revenge
against all of them. Each and every damned lawyer that thrice damned firm had
would pay for this. They had made it so easy for Angelus to win his freedom.
All he had now was his guilt and revenge to comfort him. That and the
destruction of Wolfram and Hart, to try to mend his broken heart with their
blood. They had driven him to kill his childe, and he would make them pay!
***
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