Disclaimers etc remain as with part one.
Gargoyles Don't Cry!
by Shamenka
***
After the tears came sleep. Spike slept through the perfect day into the
perfect evening before he woke again. Hera and Oz still sitting by his side.
He couldn't even summon up the energy needed to be rude to them. Spike still
felt exhausted, but more, worse than that, he felt deeply, deeply
embarrassed. He had failed to stake himself for a second time, and far worse
than anything else - he had cried before the mutt and a Goddess of all
creatures. There was no doubt in his mind that the lady who called herself
Hera and Queen was indeed the Goddess Hera. And before her William the Bloody
had wept very real tears for his very real pain and profound shame. Why
didn't they let him die?
"Why didn't you let me die?" Spike whispered his question to the ceiling
rather than either of his companions. He couldn't face either of them, or the
future. As for the past, he wanted to draw a veil over it all and never look
behind it ever again. Failing that, he wished he had been allowed to die. If
he could have wished a stake in his heart as he lay there, he would have. He
continued to lie there, looking steadfastly ceilingward, wishing with all his
might. Nothing happened. His heart continued to not beat, to be steadfastly
stake free. He continued to exist, certainly he would never call it living
ever again.
"You have a destiny, child, a very large role in the coming end game." Hera
held onto Spike's left hand with both of hers, patting it softly, stroking
his long fingers. Touching him with such delicacy that part of him hoped she
would never let go.
"A destiny? As what? My insane sire's punch bag? Buffy's chew toy? Is that
all my life and death amount to? A means to let my..." He barked out a short
bitter laugh. "Fuck, but I almost called them my friends. That's rich, isn't
it? Friends, them, me?" Finally he looked at her, meeting her eyes squarely,
letting her see his pain in all its dark glory. "Why should I bother to
fulfil such a destiny, huh? Did your Fates tell you that too? Did they?"
Hera was bathed in the agony of Spike's hidden soul, beyond responding for
the moment, swamped by his feelings, the effect made all the worse by her
continuing to hold him. She did not let go however. She held all the tighter.
It was left to Oz to try and respond to Spike's pain driven questions. Words
were not normally his strong suit, but his words were at least mostly always
honest. So long as he didn't mention Tibet. That notion made him smile
briefly, warmly, finding hope he spoke.
"Our destiny is not to be either of their kick toys. You and me are going to
be partners, the werewolf and the vampire. Warriors for the Powers that Were
and Will Be Again. You and I, us together, we're going into direct
competition with Angel and his team of demon killers. They kill the demons to
the favour of humans, always, well almost always anyway. You and I will be
like bounty hunters, balancing the forces that drive the world. Bringing the
guilty humans and demons alike to the... place..." He made a vague gesture
with his hands obviously searching for an unfamiliar term.
"The Areiopagus Demonicus, as some of the others call it. The demon court is
its real title." Hera smiled at Oz and turned once more to face Spike. Taking
up the narrative from the point Oz stopped. "You see, child, it had been
agreed between us and those that came after that all matters between our
excluded children and humans would be adjudged fairly. Until belief in our
powers returned sufficiently we could do nothing but watch. Watch as they
betrayed and ignore every promise they ever made to us. Now, however, we can
and will act. All those lying..." She stopped talking, fumed quietly for a
few moments, looked at Spike in an almost frustrated silence.
"Bastards, gits, scum, fuck witted mammal lovers?" Spike offered her a few
emotive alternative terms of reference to choose from. He saw a fire burn in
Hera's eyes at each pro-offered choice. He heard the stifled snort of
laughter from Oz too, although he didn't turn to look at the young werewolf.
He couldn't, Hera's rage was such a thing of beauty he could not look away.
So pure and clearly defined, it was powerful, almost hypnotic to a creature
born out of rage and violence.
"All of them!" Hera snarled. "They lied, they didn't keep a single promise to
maintain the balance with the children they wouldn't let us take with us into
exile. No, on the contrary they hunted them down, killing them. Unbalancing
the world, removing the natural predator that hunted on the foolish, the
week, the unfit to survive mortals. Just as the strong mortals preyed on
them. Two sides of a balance, but they tipped it in favour of the mortals,
letting them breed and spread like a disease. Driving the demons into deep
hiding. Not it's time we redressed that imbalance." Again Hera fell silent.
"And you want Oz, a relatively inexperienced werewolf, and me, a pregnant
vampire of all things, to redress this balance? Look, I'm having enough
trouble believing I'm not dead, like dusted dead. That's twice I've failed at
it now! And... and now you say that I'm pregnant, me, a bloke, a male
vampire, a man that died in 1873, knocked up, up the duff, ensprogged by...
by..." He couldn't say it, it turned his gut so much he rolled over and threw
up onto the smooth, polished, expensive looking marble floor.
With a wave of her hand the mess was gone. With another wave of her hand a
goblet of still warm blood appeared in her hand.
"Here, drink this. And didn't it ever occur to you that you might have been
saved from dusting yourself for some higher reason?" She handed the goblet
over, once Oz had Spike sitting upright.
With shaking hands the vampire took the blood and gulped down a long draft of
the warm, sweetly bitter fluid. At the taste of it, his eyes flew open and he
slowly lowered the goblet, careful to not spill a drop. It was not pig, cow
or any other domesticated animals blood. Nor was it human blood. It was rich,
powerful, beyond any word he could envision. It had to be Gods blood. If Hera
had been telling him the truth and the ancient Greek Gods were the true Gods
of all demons natural to this dimension, then his Gods had given up their
blood to feed him. Him! They valued him, he was worth something to someone
after all. To the Gods.
"Oh, God.." Spike whispered.
"Most assuredly not, that lying old fart wouldn't give up a molecule to save
anyone, let alone his blood for a child. Granted he only had the one,
allegedly, but I always thought that story far too much like Herakles' life
story to be true personally. Only Herakles enjoyed sex more." Hera grinned
impishly as she responded to Spike's involuntary comment.
"Oh, Gods and Goddesses then." The vampire tried again, he had to be feeling
better, his sarcastic tendencies were showing itself once more.
"Better." Hera cautioned, letting him know she was allowing the sarcasm pass
this once. "Now, have you understood what we've been saying?"
"I think so. You want me, him and me, us like, to go out and kick ass for
your cause. Save the innocents, bring the bad guys to justice, your justice.
As in your actual demons court and fair trial justice. And generally work
against... him!" The goblet held such interest at that moment, it was far
better than thinking about him. The name he didn't want to think of, let
alone say. He drank the last of the blood these Gods had given him. Savouring
the very last trace of its flavour as he swallowed it down.
"That about covers it. Of course there are practical details to work out and
what not. But you've got the essential parts of things down pat." Hera retook
a hold of Spike's hand, waving the now empty goblet away. "One of those
details is the baby you are now carrying. We didn't actually count that into
our plans. We suspect one of the other players got wind of our plans and
tried to counter our emergence into the field of play. We have been directing
your life and destiny from the side lines for a while now, getting you into
position to allow you to make the transition from random killer to one of our
champions. Hey, they've got two, we want two. It's only fair after all. The
chip in your head was part of our over all plan. We had to get you thinking
of the inhabitants of the world, human and demons alike, as something other
than things to eat or fight. And you were doing so well too, until you fell
for that Herakles clone with breasts and a vampire fixation." Hera snarled
again. It managed to sound both lady like and definitely unlady like at one
and the same time. Spike was impressed. Angered at their interference but
still bloody annoyed with their high handed attitude to his future however.
Then the truth of her words sunk in and he stared at her quite blankly for a
heartbeat, if he had a heartbeat to measure time against. As he opened his
mouth to speak his eyes flooded with emotion, not happiness and joy either.
"You had them put that bloody fuckin' piece of shit chip in m'bleedin' head?
You lot were behind the fuckin' Initiative? And you're supposed t'be on our
bleedin' side? Why?" The angered vampire was trembling with the rage that
Hera's confession triggered.
"As I said, to teach you. To show you there are other things in the world
besides destruction and mayhem and violence. You have learned to get yourself
out of situations without using your fists. Granted you tended to use the
slayers fists, but you learned that there are always options. You learned
that killing isn't enough. It has causes and effects. And when the cause is
you killing demons just to be killing someone then the effect is you get hit
back by all the rest of the demons. I'd say you learned that lesson rather
well. Wouldn't you?" Hera drew her shoulders back and sat a little straighter
in her chair, it was obvious she hadn't expected Spike to react quite as
negatively as he had.
"Fuckin' hell woman, what the fuck were you playing at? Teachin' me! Fuckin'
Sesame Street for the undead? Teachin' me! Teachin' me? Christ on fuckin'
skewer, you coulda' just givin' m'the fuckin' book. I can read you know! Have
done since I went t'the fuckin' university, an' before!" Spike glowed in his
rage. Hera and Oz finally sat back and shared a strained but happy smile; an
angry vampire was normally a non suicidal vampire.
"Sometimes the lesson is lost in the translation." Hera held out her hand,
fist curled downwards. "Here." She shook the hand getting Spike's attention
and the automatic hand in response to her offering him something. Curiosity
wasn't something created solely to orchestrate the demise of cats. It had
long been the best means for Gods, or indeed Goddesses, to get the humans in
the world to sit up and pay better attention.
Spike opened his hand and a small black chip fell into it.
He could say nothing. For once the bleach blond vampire was entirely
speechless. All he could do was sit there and stare at the little lump of
plastic and metal that had caused him so much damn grief and pain.
"Granted this does mean you can fight humans, you can defend yourself, even
initiate a fight if you need to. But try and drink from one, without their
express permission, and you're going to find out that that chip was really
your very best friend, ever!" The Goddess' voice left him in no doubt that
she was telling the truth. He slowly looked from the chip to her, unsure of
what he wanted to ask. "It's simple, William Mansfield, you work for us, we
see to your every need. Our blood will more than just quell your hunger. You
need less, it does more. You get to..." she seemed to pause to consider the
best choice of words to go with, "Kick butt, knock heads, wallop the
opposition. And generally mess with him and her and their precious one sided
game plans."
The very idea of a Goddess using such an obscure term as wallop had Spike
clutching his belly as he laughed. He roared with laughter until the tears
threatened to return once more. And he totally failed to respond to her use
of his real name. At least it meant she didn't have to explain to the vampire
how come Oz didn't react at all to her mentioning it. He finally gasped for
breath to speak and asked the werewolf the question uppermost in his mind,
locking eyes with the younger man.
"I take it you're up for this then?"
"Yup!" Oz replied, sounding inordinately keen on the idea.
"Why?" Spike questioned him some more, laughter all gone, deadly serious.
"Because I am what I am all because someone messed with the balance a
thousand years ago, or more. Because I don't want it to happen to others, if
we can help it. You've learned to control the beast within, with out the
stupid curse and the thou shall not be happy tag! Why can't other demon's.
I've learned. They've taught me to master the beast, a thing Buffy and them
said couldn't be done. They lied, they destroyed me and Willow, so I want to
fight back." Oz fell silent, remembering the manner in which he discovered
the woman he had loved and struggled for now loved another. She hadn't even
had the courage or honesty to tell him. He had had to smell the truth from
another.
"Tibet eh?" Spike teased.
"Tibet." Oz laughed, softly.
"About me being pregnant..." He didn't know quite what question he wanted to
ask, but saw that Hera understood him better than he understood himself.
______________
Gargoyles Don't Cry!
by Shamenka
"It alters things somewhat. Instead of one of the Muses going with you as
your liaison, I'll be going. Pregnancy is my.. oh, what's the current term...
bag, it's my bag. So the team will be a werewolf, a vampire and a senior
Goddess. Think you can cope with us? You will have to go through the full
term of the pregnancy anyway. Might as well do it with me around." Hera
rested a hand over Spike's still flat stomach.
"Yeah, you said, you can't terminate, but afterwards, who'll take it? I don't
want it, I never wanted it. Never wanted to be a dad, let alone a fuckin'
mum!" The omnipresent rage and fear returned to the blond's face once more.
"Wait and see, you don't know how you'll feel when the baby comes." Hera
tried to get away with platitudes. She knew so much about what possible
futures lay ahead for the child, depending on whether it was to be a boy or a
girl. And even the Gods wouldn't know that until the eighth week of gestation.
"Don't I?" Spike snarled at her, fear, hate, loathing for Angel and Buffy and
their precious powers that be filling him with rage once more.
"So, putting Angel's involvement aside for now, what did the baby do to you?
What evil did it do?" Oz sat on the side of Spike's bed and looked at him,
holding the vampire's gaze almost effortlessly.
"Well, nothin' so far." Spike reluctantly replied.
"Then let's take it one day at a time. You, me, Hera and the nameless one. Is
the baby really responsible for Angel's guilt? Did he or she demand their
creation? Is it even any of Angel's concern? Do you have to acknowledge it
has anything to do with the bastard anyway? Can't it belong to just you
instead?" Oz was certainly not his usual quiet self. When he had something to
say, he said it.
"Will it be mortal or a vampire?" Spike asked Hera directly.
"Why does it matter to you?" She countered.
"Because I've seen child vampires, they're never very sane, even by vampire
standards. I need to know if I'm going to have to carry this thing for nine
fuckin' months only to have t'stake it the minute it pops out. However it's
gonna pop out!" The images in his head left him unsure whether to laugh or
throw up again. He settled on shuddering slightly as a compromise.
"I don't know for certain, there are many possible futures for your child.
None of them fixed. I won't know for several weeks what to expect from your
child. By the time I have a fix on it's gender I'll know it's true nature,
vampire or mortal too." Hera broke the news honestly, she couldn't lie to the
traumatised vampire. He had had too many false promises of hope broken
already. Too many promises of eternal joy turn quite literally to ashes in
his hands.
"Oh fuck!" Spike let his head fall back and closed his eyes. Fighting
fatigue, fear and all his other far too near the surface emotions. Unsure
himself if he wanted a living mortal child or an excuse to kill a twisted,
insane vampiric child.
Taking advantage of his position, Hera pushed him once more into a deep sleep.
"Let's leave him in the capable arms of Morpheus and go get something to eat
for ourselves. Vampires are hardy creatures, nature demands that - given the
hardships of their existence. Leave him with Morph." Hera indicated the door
out from Spike's bed chamber and they both left the vampire to sleep.
Guarded over by Morpheus himself.
***
It had been twenty four hours since his world had turned upside down and
inside out yet again. Angel had become Angelus who had in turn became this
half and half nameless, childeless wonder. He had his soul and he had his
demon's rage, and both wanted revenge. Both wanted to make the pain go away,
the pain of knowing that he had destroyed his childe. For the remainder of
his existence he vowed that he would never make another childe, Spike had
been his last. And no one could take his place.
Not in his life and most definitely not in Hell. A Hell Angel was all too
familiar with. It tore at both the demon and the soul to know that they had
driven his childe to welcome those eternal torments as opposed to the
torments he had promised him.
Dru no longer counted as his childe. Her share of the guilt prohibited it.
She was as responsible as he for Spike's death. She had willingly sided with
Wolfram and Hart, just like Darla had. He had offered to give his former sire
his help, what she wanted was to take his soul. In the end, all she had taken
was his childe. And with him went her last chance to avoid Hell once more.
So now it was time to extend her invitation back to that same Hell Spike had
gone to, time to help her park and let her start her return journey. Payment
for their sins was now due - and he was going to collect.
Angel looked up at the light that spilled out from Lindsey McDonald's
apartment. Once, he had looked upon such light as a little morsel day in the
eternal night, as a warm haven. But those fool enough to challenge him, and
think that that domestic little light would shield them, were sorely wrong.
It was time the stupid lawyer learned his final lesson. Never live with a
vampire, especially if you want protection from another vampire. Your home,
the vampire's lair, his hunting ground. It was so obvious that Lindsey felt
himself so safe from any and all vampires, his lights and life spewed forth
from an open window. Unfettered, unbarred, unbelievable.
"Say bye-bye Lindsey old man." He whispered to the darkness inside and out,
where his soul used to burn brightly. Now it was in permanent shadow. He
looked up at that open invitation, if you could get to it and grinned in
anticipation. Then he jumped. It was almost too high, but his rage leant him
strength. And he made contact and entry with that too happy light.
"Angel!" The little lawyer panicked as the vampire descended from the window
ledge, entering his mortal home. "How?" He looked around, trying to recall
where Darla was, trying to get Angel with his back to the vampiress.
"You fuck a vampire, she hides out here, consequently she fucked your
protection. Her lair, dear boy, your grave yard." The Irish lilt tinged his
voice, with the souls grace and approval the demon showed forth in all it's
malevolent glory.
"Angelus?" A hesitant smile dared to cross the lawyer's face, a hope sprung
into sharp focus in that squalid little soul. He thought he had won. That the
game was over and he the eternal victor.
Angelus lifted a gentle hand to smooth the dark haired mortal's cheek. As his
other hand echoed the action and warm smile broke onto Lindsey's ugly
features.
"Angelus!" He whispered the name like an acolyte's fevered prayer.
"Well, you know how it is?" Angelus smiled at the lawyer, savouring the
moment. "You gotta be careful what ya' wish for, me lad, ya' jus' might get
it!" Smile dissolving into rage he tightened his hold on the lawyer's head
and twisted and pulled with his full vampiric strength and ripped the
offending head clean of its cringing back. The decapitated body fell
backwards with the heads last command to jerk away still locking its
reaction. The thud drew the attention of the second player in the nights
little drama. Dara ran into the room, skidding to a halt when she saw Angel's
back to her.
"Lindsey? Angel?" Darla's startled voice gave the vampire the exact location
for his former sire's position.
"Present for ya' Darla!" He spun, threw the head at her and as she
instinctively caught it, the spring loaded stake hidden up his sleeve
descended and he thrust it right into her heart one more time. For the last
time. This time she would stay dead, he swore it!
Lindsey McDonald's head with its still startled expression fell onto the
grey, cold unwelcoming pile of dry ash that had been the greatest love affair
of his entire life. Angel didn't even spare him a moment's pity that the
demon he loved so much could never love him. After all, she had never known
how to love. Not like his Spike had. Spike had loved and they had made him
take it all away.
One down, about a hundred more to go!
***
In Sunnydale, in a busy corner of the graveyard Spike had called home, a
practised hand put a new weapon into use. A quiet pump, pump hiss and Spike's
water pistol discharged a measured dose of holy water right into a vampire's
face. Followed by a stake to the heart and it crumbled to dust. Its pain
wracked scream silenced for ever.
"Woah, this is almost fun." Xander's voice tried its very best to sound
cheerful, and almost made it. "Makes slayage faster, safer, more accurate.
The hissing, dissolving ones stand out clearly marked, ready to be staked."
He looked over at the slayer as she staked his next victim. He wished he
could find the right words to ease Buffy's guilt, even a little.
Buffy's arm shot out, following each jet of water to its disabled target. She
knew just what Xander was doing, even appreciated his attempts at bridging
the gap Spike's death had opened up between them all. But the wounds she
carried were far too raw to want anyone treating them.
"And Spike devised this? The most important weapon to be added to the
slayer's armoury in God knows how long and it came from a vampire?" He wasn't
rude, he wasn't disrespectful, just amazed. "Wonder what else he would have
thought up to help you, if we hadn't fucked things up so badly?"
"There's no we, Xander, just me. I fucked things up, I got him killed. I
couldn't tell Angel from Angelus. I didn't want him dead, just to stop
chaining me up and demanding I said I loved him, felt anything for him."
Buffy staked the last vampire and turned to face the still tense Xander.
Showing him just where the hurts lay, not that he really needed her
telegraphing her pain. Finally, she realised that Xander, and all of them,
felt as guilty as she did over Spike's death. It had been Xander that had
offered to patrol with her. She hadn't wanted to ask, hadn't wanted to patrol
alone, especially this close to Spike's crypt. "Thanks for coming on patrol
with me, after last night and all."
"Didn't you feel anything at all for Spike? He loved you. It's bizarre but
true. He went against his own vampire nature so much, just for you. And you
never noticed, felt anything?" Xander blurted out the questions burning in
his head as he relaxed his trigger finger and raised the muzzle of his
brightly coloured weapon to the sky.
"Fear." Buffy looked at her friend and smiled a little shakily at him. "I
felt fear for Spike, of Spike. I couldn't figure him out. He was so human,
too human. Not what an evil vampire should be. He didn't follow the script
and I feared him because of it. Just as he died because of it too. I didn't
understand till way too late. He wasn't like Angel, he was always so
comfortable with who and what he was. It was more than I've ever managed to
be, being the Slayer has interfered with every relationship I ever had, or
wanted, or didn't want."
"At least you felt something." He looked at the lights from the rest of the
town, wondered how many vampires, demons and other beasts of the night were
out there. Wondered if there was any other vampire like Spike, waiting for
them. And he shuddered. "I guess we all felt fear. None of us understood him
and we were all too afraid to try and understand him. Like you said, too
human, knowing Spike was like looking into a perfect mirror in the night. All
he reflected was human nature, and we're none of us angels." He turned back
to her at her sharp intake of breath. "Sorry, bad analogy."
"'S ok, really. And you're right. About everything." She smiled at her
companion and finally found a real laugh, a gentle laugh, in her heart. "When
did you become so wise then, oh profound one?"
"Erm, would you believe while living with Spike under my roof?"
"Actually, I would." Buffy looked at the now dark and empty again crypt that
had been Spike's home. So often her first port of call when she needed help,
and even if he did sometimes make her pay for his help, he always gave it.
"You know, I think I'm going to miss him even more than I ever missed Angel.
Angel gave up nothing for me, Spike gave up everything and I never noticed
until it was far too late."
"Come on, let's call it quits for tonight and go home, you can fret over
Dawn, I'll comfort Anya, we'll all say sorry and cry some more and tell do
you remember when stories and try to smile."
"Sounds like a plan." A shaky smile was his reward and they headed back to
Buffy's home, silent, remembering and wondering what might have been.
***
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