~
Once again, I'd like to thank everyone for their encouragement and support, especially those of you who have been kind enough to ask (nag) for more. ::winks:: I appreciate all of the notes and LOCs. Thank you all. Blessed be.
~

TITLE: Hormonal Overload # 2
SERIES: Nine Months
SEQUEL: Paybacks are a Bitch [1]; A Few Confessions, Some Confusion & A Conniption Fit [2]; Paranoid Blonde Psychotic [3]; Little Blue Plus Sign [4]; Willow Said [5]; Hormonal Overload #1 [6]; Spell of Seeking [7]; Grossing-Out the Undead [8]; Excuse Me! [9].
AUTHOR: Scorpio
EMAIL: scorpiofic@aol.com
ARCHIVE: The Nesting Place, NummyTreats, CKoS, X&S's World of Fun, Mpreg, BtVS Slash, The Den, The Sci-Fi Morgue, WWOMB, XandMan Archive, anyone else...just tell me where.

FANDOM: Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel the Series
PAIRING: Spike/Xander [main], Willow/Tara, Wesley/Gunn, Angel/Buffy[ust], Angel/Delia[ust]

RATING: The gamut... from G to NC-17
CATEGORY: Mpreg, comedy, minor angst, sappiness and moodswings.
WARNING: Mpreg, magic & spells, violence, food cravings, sexual content and silliness.

**EXTRA NOTES**: Willow's voice on the phone will be noted inside of ~these things~ so you will able to tell her words from Xander's which will be in "quotes".

DISCLAIMER: Josh owns these darlings...however, he might not want them back once I get through playing with 'em... I tend to break toys.

::grins::

SUMMARY: Part 10 of Nine Months. Xander finally lets Spike know how he feels about his overprotectiveness. Tempers fly.

Hormonal Overload # 2
Nine Months
by Scorpio

~
When we last left our Intrepid Duo; Xander was suffering the effects of his "morning sickness" in the form of nausea. Willow and Tara were supportive. Spike researched food, then proceeded to "ruin" crackers and toast forever for Xander. Let's all pause to picture Spike in a frilly white apron (and nothing else) as he fixes his Nummy a treat. Ahhhh.... that's better. Now... on with the show...
~

"Oh my gosh... What happened? I thought you were supposed to take Tara out to Chez Paris for a candlelit dinner to celebrate your coupleness?"

~We were all ready. The reservations were in place and everything. We were both all dressed up in our best outfits. Tara looked *so* beautiful, let me tell you.~

"I'm sure that she did, Wills. You've got excellent taste in women."

~Yeah, I know, but thank you anyway. I took a picture of her in her dress, I'll show it to you once it's developed. Anyway, we were heading down town, just walking hand in hand and not bothering anyone when suddenly...~

"Um, hold on a minute Wills."

Xander turned to look up into the bright blue eyes of his lover. The bleached blonde vampire was frowning slightly and a tiny wrinkle creased his forehead between his eyes. Xander recognized the expression as the one that means 'I'm worried about you and am in the mood to fuss about'. Internally, Xander groaned.

"What Spike? I'm talking to Willow on the phone here."

The vampire blinked at him and opened his mouth to speak, but then his jaws clicked shut and he shook his head. He made as if to walk away. Xander stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"What? Come on, Spike. Give. Something's bothering you."

His husband made as if to make a nasty retort, Xander could see it hovering just on the tip of his tongue, but then the vampire blinked and his expression softened.

"I was just wondering how you felt. You know, if your stomach was bothering you. I could make you some toast."

Xander tried not to blanch at the thought of eating any more toast.

"No! Uh... I mean, no thank you. I'm fine."

"Oh. Okay."

Xander watched for a moment as Spike grinned slightly and then turned to walk away. His lover walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch. As the blonde vampire turned on the television and began flipping through the channels, Xander turned his attention back to the phone.

"Sorry about that Wills. Spike was just wondering if that... uh, morning sickness stuff was bothering me again."

~No problem Xan. Uh... is it? Bothering you, I mean.~

"Nope. Not at all. Now... you were telling me about the Date That Was Eaten By The Hellmouth and how you and Tara survived it."

~Right. So, there we were, walking down the street. It was actually a nice walk up till *that* point. I mean, no demons or vampy-vamps in sight. The weather was perfect. Warm and clear with bright shinning stars. And Tara was wonderful. It was the best. Then, we turned down onto Ashford Street. We figured that we would take that way as a short cut to Madison Avenue.~

"Makes perfect sense. It's faster than going all the way down to Prospect Drive. Sure, Prospect is more residential with street lights and all, whereas Ashford is all offices that would be closed at that time of night. Still, it's a lot faster. Direct route."

~Exactly what we were thinking. So, we turned down Ashford Street. We made it all the way to that Car Insurance place, you know? Where the narrow footpath runs between it and the Dry Cleaners?~

"Yeah. I know exactly where you're talking about. I've used that dry cleaners before. Mr. Wong runs it. He's excellent at getting out blood stains and demon goo. And he never asks any embarrassing questions, either."

~Well, that footpath between the two building leads to the delivery area in the back. We had just walked past it when...~

"Hold on another minute Wills."

Xander turned exasperated eyes over to his lover. The blonde vampire was standing there quietly and calmly, patiently waiting on Xander's attention. Well, he was acting patient as long as you ignored the fact that he was tapping Xander on the shoulder.

"What Spike?"

The vampire flashed him the 'concerned and fussy' look again as he made a vague gesture towards the open windows.

"Are you sure you're not too cold? I can close the windows, you know. I mean, I wouldn't want you to get a draft and then be sick."

Xander bit back the urge to snap at Spike that he wasn't *cold*, that what he *was* was talking on the *phone*. Instead, he took in a deep breath and reminded himself that as a member of the undead, Spike didn't feel temperature in the same way he did and as such, he didn't *know* if it really was warm or cold. What's more, the vampire was truly worried about Xander's health and the health of the baby.

"No, Spike. I'm fine. Not cold at all. I'm just... fine. Thanks."

The blonde vampire blinked once, twice and looked as if he were going to argue the point. Then he nodded his head, smiled sweetly and shuffled back off into the living room.

With a soft sigh, Xander lifted the phone back up to his ear again.

"Wills? Sorry about that. It was the bleached worrywart again."

~Xan! Be nice. He can't help it if he worries about you.~

"I know. Honest, I do. It's just... I'm fine. If there was a problem, I'd call him. He doesn't have to nag, you know?"

~Yeah, I do. But he can't help himself.~

"True. Anyway, enough about that. Tell me what happened after you and Tara walked passed the alleyway."

~Oh! So, we walked passed the footpath smiling and talking quietly. There was no one else on Ashford Street but us. So, it was really very quiet. That's when we heard it. This 'scree-scree' sound. It was all distorted from the echoes bouncing off the building, so we didn't know which direction it was coming from. Just this high pitched 'scree-scree' sound. Very strange and very wiggy.~

"It would sure give *me* the wiggins. So, did it sound like anything we've run across before?"

~No. Nothing *I'd* ever run across before. I wasn't sure what it was and Tara didn't know either. So we were looking all around, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. I had my back to the footpath when all of a sudden..."

"Hold on Willow."

Xander turned to face Spike, a glare firmly fixed on his face.

"What!"

His husband stepped back in confusion at the harsh tone, but he shook it off quickly.

"I was just wondering if you were thirsty. The book says that it's good for humans to keep hydrated with lots of liquids whenever they suffer from regurgitation or diarrhea."

For a brief moment Xander wondered what he'd ever done to deserve this punishment, and then he remembered. He'd cheated on Anya... with Spike. He'd made whoopee on his bed and now he had to suffer for it.

"Thank you for that news update Dr. Spike, but I'm not thirsty. If I was, I'd have *asked* for a glass of juice or water or something. But I'm *not*. So *please* just let me talk to Wills, okay?"

The blonde's face flashed an expression of hurt innocence as he stiffened up and stomped his feet into the living room. Xander felt a small pang of guilt, but he ruthlessly pushed it aside. *He* wasn't the one in the wrong here. Taking a deep sigh to relax his throat muscles so that he wouldn't end up growling at Willow, Xander brought the phone back up to his ear.

"Sorry about that Wills."

~It's okay. He's... um, how do I put this?...~

"A paranoid nag masquerading as a blonde undead demon?"

~Xan! ::giggles:: That's not nice! He *means* well. It's just...~

"Annoying?"

~Well, *yeah*... but he's a hottie!~

Xander chuckled and felt his irritation melt away again.

"That he is. Anyway, let's get back to the oogity-boogity in the alley that was making the wiggy noises at you and T."

~Oh! Oh, yeah! Well, I was looking in the other direction when suddenly Tara lets out this loud shriek and points behind me. Let me tell you, that is *not* how I was hoping our date would go. So I spun around to see what it was and it was *so* ugly. I'm talking tall, spindly legs and this sickly yellow skin. It was hard to tell in the dark, but it seemed sort of flaky... or maybe scaly.~

Xander made a disgusted noise in his throat.

"That sounds nasty. Yellow scales? Ewww... give me creamy smooth pale skin every time."

Willow chuckled.

~Let's leave your kinks out of this, okay?~

Xander snorted and laughed.

"No problem. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to give you any naked mental images there, Wills."

~Ugh! Stop! Think tall yellowy demons. That smell rotten. Did I tell you about the stink? It was *bad*. Worse than the City Dump after a rain shower bad. I'm talking worse than your old gym socks used to get type of bad.~

"Um, Wills? Can we not go there?"

Willow laughed again.

~No problem. This is me, not going there. So, anyway. As soon as I got a look at this...thing, I let out a good scream too. There we were, two of the strongest witches on the Hellmouth, screaming our heads off like a couple of girls.~

"Hate to break it to you Wills, but you and Tara *are* a couple of girls. Of course, you're also girls who happen to be a couple, but that's besides the point and... I'll be quiet now."

~Oh, you! The weird thing is, I think that our voices must have given it a headache or something because it grabbed it's head and flinched back.

Unfortunately, it slinked back against a trashbin and then threw the lid at us, but...~

"Hold up Wills. I think I'm gonna have to call you back to get the rest of the story. Spike has another question and I think that it's time that he and I had a little talk."

~Um... ah... okay. I,... I'll talk to you later, I guess.~

"Thanks Wills. Bye."

Xander carefully hung up the phone. He made sure that he placed the receiver gently on it's cradle since he *didn't* want to slam it down on Willow's ear even though he felt the need to make a lot of angry sounds right about now.

Once the phone was put away, he turned to face Spike and *glared* at the bleached blonde demon. Spike was looking at him with a bit of concern, a bit of confusion and a lot of enthusiasm. Somehow, that didn't make Xander feel any better. In fact, it just served to stoke the fires of his anger.

Jumping up out of his chair, Xander paced back and forth in front of it.

Spike seemed even more confused.

"Pet? What's wrong? Are you okay? Are you sick? Is it the baby?"

Xander spun around and held up both hands palm out.

"Stop! *Please* just Shut! The! Fuck! Up!"

Xander began to pace again, this time complete with his arms waving wildly in the air.

"Spike! I can't *take* this any more. You have *got* to back off and give me some fucking breathing room! NO! I am *not* sick! NO! I do *not* need you to get me anything to eat or to drink! And most of all, NO! I do *not* need you to *nag* me every five goddamned minutes."

Xander stopped pacing and began to advance on Spike. His pointer finger on his right hand popped up and out and he used it ruthlessly to poke Spike in the chest to emphasize his points.

"You are a paranoid *nag*! I have *not* turned into a fragile piece of glass that is ready to splinter into a billion pieces. I'm the same stupid idiot that has spent the last several years getting thrown into solid walls by a variety of demons and then going back for more of the same. I am perfectly capable of *announcing* that I'm hungry, thirsty or cold! I'm also perfectly capable of *fixing* it if I *become* hungry, thirsty or cold and if I *can't* do it myself, then you will be the first one to know."

Spike's face began to take on undertones of panic.

"But Xan, I..."

Xander cut him off.

"No! I don't want to hear it Spike! I've *had* it! I'm tired of being carted off to bed and being tucked in *without* getting any sex just because *you* are freaked out that I'm going to break. I'm tired of not being allowed to eat anything but *toast* around you. I eat *lots* of other stuff *except* when you're there to rip it out of my hands. I want *chocolate* dammit!"

"But Xan!"

"No! I want *chocolate* and I want to be able to talk on the phone with Willow without being interrupted a million times about stupid little shit!"

Xander glared at his husband for a long moment, so angry that his whole body was shaking with the need to just explode. But he squashed that feeling down and clenched his jaw tight. Spinning on his heal, he stormed off towards the front door.

"I'll be at Willow's. Think about what I said Spike."

Without waiting for an answer, Xander yanked open the door and walked out, only pausing long enough to slam it closed behind him.

~~~

Xander walked quietly through the brightly lit hallway in his apartment building, his eyes heavy with the need for sleep and his mouth set in a grim line of worry. It was a lot later than he wished, but it had taken a long time for Willow and Tara to help him calm down and then the girls had told him all about the demon from the Dry Cleaners. After that, they had headed off to the Magic Box to do some research on it, but they hadn't been able to find anything. Now... now Xander had to face Spike.

In hind sight, once he'd calmed down again, Xander had realized that he had *way* over reacted. Tara had suggested that his moodiness was due to a swing in his hormones, but that didn't make Xander feel any better. It didn't erase the fact that he had basically screamed in Spike's face for being a caring and sensitive spouse. It didn't erase the fact that he, Xander, was a world class shit-head.

And he wasn't exactly put at ease when Buffy had so helpfully pointed out that due to Anya's curse, Spike wouldn't be able to just walk away. He'd be forced to stay and be obsessive compulsive until Xander was "happy" again. Thanks to Xander's ex-girlfriend, Spike truly was 'love's bitch'.

And Xander was pregnant with his unborn child.

With a sigh of resignation, Xander slid his key into the lock and turned it. Taking a deep breath to brace himself for whatever lay inside, he turned the knob and let himself in.

He hadn't been sure what to expect, to be honest, however a dimly lit living room with no Spike in it wasn't it. A frown of confusion forming on his face, Xander closed the door and relocked it. Then he wandered deeper into the apartment. That's when he saw it. There on the dinning room table were two brightly wrapped packages. The paper on them was Star Wars Episode I and the bigger one had a large gold bow stuck on top. The smaller one had a card tucked under it. Xander, shifted the card a bit and saw his name sprawled across it in Spike's spidery handwriting.

With a sad little smile sliding across his face, Xander opened the envelope and pulled out the card. There was a picture of a big-eyed puppy huddled in an oversized doghouse on the front. Flipping it open, Xander read what Spike had written inside.

*

Xander luv,

Guess I'm really in the doghouse this time. Didn't mean to upset you, pet. Honest. I'm not real good at all these mushy-gushy feelings and this whole relationship thing. Was a lot different with Dru and I'm still learning.

I didn't mean to keep you from talking to Red, I was just trying to offer to help figure out what kind of demon set upon her and her blonde witch. If you want, just tell Red to contact me and I'll help out.

Since you're mad and all, I figured that I'd sleep in the tub. Enjoy your pressies.

Sorry.

Love Spike.

*

Xander suddenly felt all kinds of low and rotten. Like a turd. Or possibly a slug. Something yucky and disgusting that you wouldn't want to soil your shoes on at any rate.

His heart feeling like a lump of lead in his chest, Xander picked up his first "I'm sorry" gift and slowly peeled the wrapping paper off of it. When the box came into view, he saw that it was a new telephone. One with a 'loud speaker' feature on it as well as a three-way conference call feature.

The guilt twisted inside of him.

Then, pushing it aside, Xander reached for the smaller box. He peeled the paper back and when that box came into view, he saw that it was full of assorted chocolates. Milk chocolate. Dark chocolate. Cream filled and nut filled. The good stuff.

Xander's guilt blossomed even larger in his chest until it was almost painful.

Placing the chocolate back on the table, Xander grabbed the wrapping paper and balled it up. He tossed it into the trash and then headed directly for the bathroom. Taking a deep breath, he knocked once and then opened the door. His husband was curled up in the bathtub with a pillow and the fleecy red blanket. He looked adorable in a sad and pathetic sort of way. Feeling even lower than a slug, Xander stepped over to the tub and squatted down next to it.

"Spike?"

He reached out and ran one hand gently through the vampire's blonde hair. One blue eye popped open and peered out at him.

"Spike? I'm sorry. I... I shouldn't have yelled at you like that and I *definately* shouldn't have stormed off like a little kid having a hissy-fit. I should have just sat down and told you how I feel like a mature adult. I'm *so* sorry for being a shit."

Spike sat up and shifted around so that he was facing Xander. He seemed upset and worried and slightly confused.

"No. You were right. I *was* being a bit of a cow, wasn't I? But it's not easy. I worry. I mean, what do I know about taking care of a human? Know how to break 'em into little pieces is what I know, not how to care for 'em and feed 'em. I get so worried about doing something wrong and then I bollicks the works anyhow."

Xander sighed and shook his head.

"Spike, your heart's in the right place. I know that. You just have to trust me that I know how to take care of myself. And if I don't, we'll figure it out together. Okay?"

Spike looked up at him, a questioning expression on his face. Then, after a long moment, he nodded his head. Xander felt a wave of relief wash through him.

"Come on, Spike. Get out of the tub and come to bed. I'm sleepy and I don't want to have to try and fall asleep without you there."

Uncertainty flickered across Spike's face.

"You sure, pet?"

Xander smiled softly at him.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, just because we had an argument doesn't mean I don't want you to sleep in bed with me. I love you, you idiot."

Spike's smile was like the sun coming out.

"Love you too, Xan."

~~~

END: Hormonal Overload # 2

Scorpio
~*~ scorpiofic@aol.com ~*~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Go see the website that CatSentinel put together to showcase my fanfiction. You can read the stories, post to the message board and even vote in her polls.
http://members.tripod.com/sentinel-cat/Scorpio/
(please email CatSentinel with all broken links)