Part 2:Joxer frowned down at his meal; he carefully divided it up keeping all the fish bones on one side before carefully eating the flesh. Fish wasn't his favorite food but it seemed like it was all they ate whenever the five of them got together which wasn't very often, usually he found Xena and Gabrielle tolerated his company more then Hercules and Iolaus. Xena was the one who invited him to travel with them though Gabrielle often treated him as a joke. Neither Hercules nor Iolaus were actually rude but Hercules had made it clear that traveling together was a temporary thing and Joxer was starting to get the impression he'd worn out his welcome.
He was even more inclined to believe it at that moment. Joxer held back a sigh, had he actually wanted to get involved in the quiet fireside discussion he would have felt left out. Xena and Hercules sat opposite him comparing weapons and talking about Ares' latest plans for them some of which seemed too paranoid and ludicrous for Joxer to believe. Despite his current lack of affection for the God since Strife's death, he couldn't quite believe Ares was planning some of the things Hercules was convinced he was involved in.
Joxer was attempting to look immersed in his dinner whilst listening to the conversations around him; unsurprisingly no one noticed that he was listening to them. He'd caught enough comments to know Iolaus was speaking about his side in the battle against Callisto, so he turned away from that conversation and tried to avoid Gabrielle's various snorts and snide comments. He didn't know much about it himself but he didn't want to hear yet again how Strife had had his arse kicked (Iolaus' words) and been brutally murdered (Joxers words).
Iolaus sat next to Joxer, his back turned towards him as he spoke animatedly to Gabrielle who eagerly scribbled down notes intent on writing the story of Iolaus' trip back in time. Joxer noticed he left out anything related to Gabrielle's daughter, Hope, and skirted around the issue easily. He glanced briefly towards Hercules and Xena; the demigods were deep in discussion as Hercules recounted Ares' latest attack on them.
"So unfortunately I can speak to pigs so I've gone off eating them," Hercules looked slightly embarrassed as Xena sniggered "But at least Discord's a chicken now." The hero barely managed to hide a smirk, "unfortunately though something tells me Ares won't be cooking her up for dinner."
Xena laughed "Oh I'd love to have been there to see that, I can't believe Ares made Iolaus and Auto into a monster!" she laughed again. "I can't believe it, it just doesn't seem like something he would do, it's hilarious."
Joxer smiled slightly; he agreed with Xena, it didn't seem like something Ares or even Discord would think up, it sounded more like something Strife would have thought up. Though he didn't dare presume to know how the Gods thought, he could judge from their actions and what he'd been told by Strife. Ares' plan to get at Hercules was more worthy of Strife then Ares, the whole chaotic event just screamed mischief. His smile turned slightly sad as he thought how his friend would have reveled in the mayhem; had he been around.
He felt bile rise slightly in the back of his throat as his stomach clenched, he forced it back down his throat and inhaled shakily. It was odd that the worst week when he felt life was falling apart would be the week he actually felt the best. He'd woken up every morning feeling terrifically healthy though depressed and had barely tripped over anything all week; in fact Joxer was sure his co-ordination was improving and any bruises he did get for walking into things faded in record time. His eyes fixed on the flames of the fire and he swallowed hard, ashamed that he had almost enjoyed listening to Hercules chatter especially when it involved the Gods he no longer worshipped or cared for. He clenched his fists slightly; he'd removed himself from his dedication to Ares the night that Strife died. The night he stopped being in awe of the War God and started disregarding him and most of the other Gods. He still ached to be a hero and to make something of himself, but the feeling was hampered by the deep anger and bitterness that he felt towards the God that he'd once worshipped. Joxer had waited till long after nightfall to light Strife's funeral Pyre and yet still no other Gods had arrived to claim Strife's body. He'd even tried praying to ones other then Ares; he tried Discord despite being sure she'd maim him, Cupid and even Aphrodite. No one had come to claim his friend, not his mother or a God whom Joxer believed was his friend's ex- lover.
*Some family* Joxer thought slightly bitterly as he set his fish bones to one side and drew his knees up to his chin *Being kicked when you're down isn't much fun but at least my family paid that bit of attention to me*. Strife hadn't talked much about his family but Joxer had got the impression, mainly from his comments and defensive humour, that they weren't the kind of people you turned you back on.
Joxer knew Aphrodite deeply despised Strife, he'd once seen her ignore the other God when face to face and then make derisive comments before she left. He was almost completely sure that the time she'd caught Strife chatting to him under the guise of giving him grief for being Xena's friend was the reason she'd chosen to mess around with his personality and make him feel like a fool, even now he hated the sound of a bell ringing and got a slightly paranoid feeling whenever one did. Strife had shaken off Aphrodite's words with a nasty comment and a giggle that had had the love Goddess flouncing away in anger, but Joxer had seen an undercurrent of pain underneath it all. He hadn't pressed Strife on the matter; he may have been a fool at time but he wasn't suicidal and he wasn't stupid enough to think his friend was completely on the side of sanity. He knew Strife lived by `blast now, think later' and much as he'd assured Joxer that if that happened he'd get him back from Hades, Joxer wasn't inclined to risk it. All he'd got were a few murmured explanations of "Cupid, mistake and all hate me," which didn't make all that much sense to him.
He hugged himself tighter, unconsciously protecting what remained of Strife. The faintly glowing wall of tissue that now encircled the tiny ball inside him; it still divided as it attached itself to Joxer through thin, wispy tendrils of light.
Joxer stared into the flames and closed his eyes briefly remembering the deep orange glow that had surrounded Strife's body before it burnt to ashes. He swallowed hard and choked back a sob as he remembered the look of fear on his friends face, Joxer had been sickened by that look and the questions that went with it; why Strife had been killed in the first place, why could anything kill a God and why no one cared.
He bit the inside of his lip; the fact that the first two questions were harder to answer disgusted him, he understood that Strife wasn't well liked by most mortals and unlike most of the other Gods was only actively worshipped in shrines rather then the large temples. The God of mischief had admitted to him that most of his mischief energy came from young children. In fact, he should have had energy from adult mischief's like adultery and manipulation, however, Discord considered them her domain and had made sure that from a very young age Strife didn't get anything she considered her power. As a result very few people actually worshipped him and he had to make his own mischief most of the time or at least actively encourage it.
Joxer closed his eyes again not realizing how long he'd been silent; he kept staring into the flames that hauntingly reminded him of Strife. He still couldn't believe he'd been the only to actually give a damn about the God, he'd waited as long as possible and then cremated Strife. Joxer knew that once word got round every sales person in Greece and anyone who'd hated him would be after a piece of the fallen God. He didn't want that happening to his friend even if all that was left of him was a broken empty shell. Joxer had waited till the former God was nothing but ash and the flames had burnt out; he'd scoped up the ashes not caring if they had cooled enough to hold and had put them inside his helmet. Then he'd made the two-day journey to his friends' nearest shrine and scattered the ashes as he mumbled a prayer for the fallen God.
He'd left his helmet and armor behind at the shrine along with his dedication to Ares, no longer did Joxer consider himself Joxer the mighty wannabe hero trying to impress Ares, now he considered himself just Joxer. He still doubted he could become a hero, at least one in the same league as Hercules or Xena but he'd vowed never to help the Gods not matter how small the problem or how dire. Joxer had to set out for Abdera after he'd made sure Strife's ashes were scattered and ignored the shrines to Ares along the way. When he'd had come across Iolaus and Hercules a few days later he'd decided to join them and had been slightly more enthusiastic when he'd found out they were meeting Xena and Gabrielle. He'd been forced to listen to Iolaus recount the battles with Callisto until he was ready to throttle the hunter, luckily Hercules had seen the usually eager look in Joxer's eyes turn to something far less pleasant and he'd hastily stepped in and changed the subject. Joxer winced hearing Gabrielle's shrill voice cut into his thought; she sounded almost delighted at the mere idea that he theories were true.
"So Gods can die then? I knew it."
Joxer turned to look at her and frowned as he noticed the smug look on her face "What a surprise when the going gets tough the Gods run off," she sneered as she looked at Iolaus who (to his credit) looked more then a little annoyed.
"Ares was scared." Iolaus spoke flatly "I'm not defending him but wouldn't you be if the situation was reversed? I didn't even realize anything could kill a God. Didn't you feel the ground shake where you were? Didn't you just know something terrible had happened?" He raised his hands and sighed before dropping them to his lap. "Ares wasn't exactly broken up but he certainly wasn't happy that she'd killed Strife."
Joxer noticed both Xena and Hercules now had their full attention on the hunter as he spoke, he could see neither looked upset at the mention of Strife's death, which he expected both of them having fought him or been a victim of one of his `games', but both did seem troubled by his death.
Gabrielle shook her head at Iolaus a slight patronizing smile on her face as she spoke, "he was probably upset his little lackey wouldn't be there to do his dirty work for him."
Joxer held his breath and counted silently to ten as he tried not to lose his temper; she wasn't saying anything he didn't believe himself, he figured Ares had only selfish reasons for being upset at Strife's death. Joxer clenched his fists. The God probably viewed it as a minor irritation and inconvenience that would get him into trouble with Zeus.
Cupid stared down at his pouting son who stared back up at him, baby Bliss; who was almost a miniature copy of his father, screwed up his face and fisted his eyes as he cried. Cupid sighed; Bliss was becoming more and more difficult at night and during the day which was putting even more of a strain on the fragile bond between Psyche and himself. Deep down Cupid knew the worries and increasing rift between himself and Psyche was reflecting back onto Bliss. The baby was just acting out in the confusing changing emotions.
He scooped up his whining son and walked up and down the nursery with him, jiggling him gently in his arms. He tried to tune out Bliss's unhappy cries knowing that he was in part responsible for them. Cupid had been more then slightly inattentive recently preferring to immerse himself in his work then face the troubles at home. He stroked Bliss's back gently, carefully avoiding his wings, the action seemed to soothe the Godling slightly and Cupid looked down into Bliss's tearstreaked face "It's okay, daddy's not going anywhere. Go to sleep." He murmured softly to him. He kept up his slow pacing and continued stroking Bliss's back, the baby slightly soothed and calmed pressed his head against Cupids neck and clung onto him tightly as he tried to nuzzle deeper.
Cupid wasn't sure why things had changed, why everything had gone so wrong but he knew when it had happened; just after he'd felt Strifes death. He'd felt the hot burning pain lance through him, he'd dropped to his knees just before Olympus shook and shuddered. Aphrodite had clutched her head also feeling the terrifyingly odd feeling. Cupid had clung to her, the same way he used to when he was a Godling, as the dreadful certainty swept through him as it did every other God and Goddess. That a God had died. *Not just anyone either, Strife* Cupid thought as he clutched Bliss a little too tightly and the baby whimpered in response; Cupid relaxed his hold and Bliss quieted as he slowly drifted into a troubled sleep.
Cupid continued to pace, not just to make sure his son was asleep and settled for the night but also to avoid the talk with Psyche; the talk that had been building for the last month. Cupid had been to everyone he could think of for advice finally settling to disregard his mother's pleas to stick with it and try to ignore it and go with his Hephaestus' advice instead. The older God had listened patiently to Cupid before suggesting that whilst they try and work things out maybe they should admit what they truly felt. The Fire God had told it wasn't worth ignoring your own feelings and playing along, not only were both Bliss and Psyche already sensing the problems but Cupid would grow to resent them if he tried to play along. Aphrodite had been furious at Hephaestus' suggestion and Cupids decision. She had tried her best to convince him over dinner and some very odd tasting drinks. Cupid frowned remembering the sweet aftertaste, a familiar one he could almost identify, and it was almost on the tip of his tongue…
He stopped pacing and slowly walked over the arm of arranged cushions which served as Bliss's bed. Since the third month Bliss had taken to flashing himself out of his basket and onto cushions on the nursery floor and after many repeats of putting him back in the basket they had opted for making a swarm of cushions for him to sleep on. The cushions came complete with spells, courtesy of Hecate, to stop Bliss rolling about. Cupid gently set his son down and tucked the blankets around him; he smiled wondering how his son could look so innocent and cherub-like when only an hour before he'd been screaming and refusing to sleep. Cupid took a deep breath knowing that it was now or never and glanced towards the door, he had to tell Psyche the truth, that he didn't love her anymore. He wasn't sure how he could have loved her so passionately and intensely in the first place, though she was extremely beautiful and had a heart to match she wasn't his type at all. He swallowed hard and looked down at his son, Cupid was glad they had been together because he got Bliss out of their marriage but he was still confused why he fell in love with Psyche. It felt like his brain had been almost clouded and he'd been living in a dream world for the last two years, now that world was slowly crumbling and everything was starting to come back. Cupid was starting to remember the heartache he'd felt before Psyche, the heartache caused by Psyche. Cupid shook his head and rubbed his temple, which was why he couldn't understand it how could he have loved someone he'd once intensely hated? He didn't hate her anymore but he didn't love her either and everytime he looked at her instead of seeing the woman he'd been so madly in love with all he saw was Strife.
Cupid clenched his fists, trying not to mimic one of his ex-lovers patented insane giggles. It was more then completely screwed up; it was more then just chaos! He stood up and watched Bliss roll over and hug the pillows, the baby whimpered slightly in his sleep and Cupid walked out of the nursery not wanting Bliss to pick up on his confused emotions as he snapped his fingers and shut the nursery door he briefly slumped against it. How could he have fallen so passionately for Psyche when he'd been so heartbroken over Strife? Cupid grimaced as a remnant of feeling crossed his chest; he couldn't remember the heartache properly it was almost as though it had been ripped from him but he'd been getting twinges, fleeting feelings which jogged his memory. He couldn't feel what he knew he should be feeling, what he desperately wanted to feel; the pain and heartache at his ex-lover's death. Cupid clenched his fists; he should feel something other then fleeting twinges. He and Strife had been friends for nearly a hundred years and lovers for well over fifty before the whole `Psyche mess' happened. They'd been closer then two people could ever be; soulmates they'd both believed. He and Strife had had so many plans, they'd wanted to get married, start a family; not a night went by when the two hadn't been in each others arms, whether it was making love or for comfort.
Cupid clenched his fists harder and slammed the, into the wall, he didn't understand why he felt nothing when he remembered their times together it was almost like he was detached from it, he didn't even feel grief for Strifes death though he desperately wanted to. At the very least he should feel the anger and heartache he'd felt at Strifes betrayal, he should remember the pain he felt when Hera announced one of her priestesses was carrying a demigod fathered by Strife and the fury he'd felt when his lover had vehemently denied the claims that the baby was his. He remembered volley upon volley of fireballs he'd blasted at Strife as the mischief god had lied to him, begging and pleading for Cupid to believe him. The mischief God had never once tried to defend himself and in the end Ares had had to drag Strife away. Cupid knew Ares had given Strife the hiding of his life for betraying his son but all Cupid had felt was anger and pain because of the betrayal from God he'd loved. The night before Hera's news both he and Strife had decided to try for a baby of their own and yet all the time Strife had known that a mortal was already carrying his.
Cupid slumped back against the wall in frustration not understanding why he couldn't feel the rage he'd once felt, he was getting angrier over that then the betrayal that had happened. Cupid remembered how he'd been a mess for years afterwards, he refused to come out of his temples except for ceremonies and refused to be anywhere near Strife, Cupid had spent practically everyday in tears and if not being sick then throwing bad temper tantrums. He'd even felt satisfaction at hearing all the Gods turned their back on the once popular God, much to Discord's glee, although he'd been more then slightly pissed off when he heard Ares had taken the traitorous bastard back. When his emotions had started reflecting on the mortals, the other Gods had put up with it but when they affected them they'd ganged up on him and forced him to start doing his job properly and socialising.
Cupid snorted, forced being the right word. His Mum, Dad and two of his uncles had dragged him out of his temple, forced ambrosia and food down his throat and then proceeded to scrub him and his home clean before dumping him at his mortal temple to receive his priests and priestesses. It was only a year later that he'd fallen in love with Psyche, straight out of the blue, and realised she was the demigod Strife had fathered. Cupid frowned; he didn't know why it hadn't bothered him that he was sleeping with his ex-lover's daughter. It had bothered Strife greatly, he had tried to break if off but he'd been rejected at every turn even by his own daughter and despite his pleas he'd never been allowed to go near his grandson.
Cupid sighed, something was definitely wrong he needed to find out why he felt the way he did and why he didn't feel the way he should, he kept sensing Strife though he knew the God was dead and in oblivion. He'd have to talk to his mother and get some answers, he had a suspicious feeling that he knew the answer but the idea was so horrific he tried to repress it. He strode towards his bedroom; first he had to talk to his wife.
*********
Bliss wasn't the only one having a troubled sleep; Joxer had been tossing and turning all night, mumbling in his sleep and even whimpering. Asyinnitos placed a soothing hand on his head as she tried to draw the mortal into a deeper sleep away from the memories emanating from the embryo inside him. She couldn't suppress the embryo Gods memories and although she knew the embryo couldn't experience or feel them they were transmitting loud and clear into Joxer's unconscious. From Strife's death backwards, Joxer was experiencing snippets of the mischief Gods old life, some of which Asyinnitos was sure wouldn't be pleasant especially those involving Discord. One thing Asyinnitos was glad of was the rising feelings of fury rising in the mortal. Though his waking mind didn't realize it, subconsciously he was projecting the need to protect Strife, which the embryo was picking up on and reveling in.
Asyinnitos gently pressed her ear against Joxers stomach, she whispered to the tiny God to sleep, exerting her power over it in combination with that which Gaia had given her to protect Strife and Joxer. Her eyes widened as she caught the end of Joxer's dream and she pushed into the memories, careful not to upset Strife she didn't push too far back, and saw what he had been through in the last few months. The pain and rejection from the other Gods, the abandonment he'd felt from Ares and his Mothers constant gibes and taunts. Asyinnitos rubbed Joxer's belly gently as she whispered to calm the now agitated Strife to sleep. Her eyes filled with tears at the memories she'd seen and she knew she'd barely scratched the surface, the gods distress was firmly rooted in his childhood something the embryo was too tiny to remember just yet. Asyinnitos was unaware of the depth of the fury emanating from her until she felt the light touch of Adrasteia on her shoulder. She turned and for the first time in decades allowed her mother to take her into her arms as if she were a Godling again. She used her powers to transfer the brief knowledge she'd gathered from Strife's mind and Adrasteia almost staggered under the weight of the anger flowing from her daughter. As mother and daughter stared at each other Adrasteia saw in her eldest daughter more of herself then she ever had before.
Asyinnitos looked her directly in the eye "Do you know how hard I had to work just to keep Strife alive when Discord was carrying him?" her voice was soft and deadly calm as she spoke "She tried trick after trick to get rid of him and I had to keep using my powers to force her to eat ambrosia. She went on the battlefield when she was eight months pregnant, I think if it hadn't of been for the baby Ares would have blasted her to Tartarus for that, the close calls she had." The Goddess shook her head speaking more in a minute then she had in the last few months "when he was born I lost my protection on him and I couldn't help him. I wish I'd stood my ground and made more of a fuss before he was born, maybe if they'd taken him away then he would have had a better time of it."
In her eyes a fury deeper them both the Godhoods of her mother and sister shone brightly and as she spoke Adrasteia felt a chill run through her realizing her eldest was using her godly powers to curse.
"From this moment on Discord will never conceive of another child nor raise one" Asyinnitos spoke quietly but her power was reflected in her voice "and all those who wronged Strife shall be denied the privilege of bearing children until the consequences of their actions are seen and they truly realize what they've done."
Adrasteia shivered slightly as her daughter's curse passed though her rendering herself and most of the Gods on Olympus barren and infertile. Her body screamed to reject the curse and remove it but she merely nodded accepting Asyinnitos' decision.
Asyinnitos bit her lip, grinding her teeth over it as she felt the curse spreading even through herself "I forgot about him until he became a father, at least one of sorts," She sighed "and then when his grandson was conceived I focussed more on the children and tried not to think about what must have happened to him."
Adrasteia wasn't sure what to say to help her daughters' guilt anymore then she could help her own. Many a time she'd heard the Godling Strife call out for revenge on his mother but she'd written his pleas off as a normal child's tantrum, even without seeing that far back she was certain he'd suffered greatly as a child as well as an adult. She should have helped get to the truth of Strifes offspring instead of going with the pantheons vote and believing the worst in Strife, bringing retribution down upon him. Adrasteia herself had a lot to make up for with Strife and with the rest of her family, those who needed retribution would get it Olympian politics be damned. She'd already failed the children once she wasn't willing to do it again. Without consulting any of the other Gods involved she released the bonds she'd once helped place on Cupid and waited for all Tartarus to break lose.
"It's not like Strife ever actually did anything like the other Gods anyway, he didn't exactly matter did he?" Gabrielle didn't seem to know where to shut up, even Hercules eyebrows shot up at her next comment, "I mean, God of Mischief? Not exactly a useful one was he?"
Joxer felt his nails dig into his palms as he tried counting again, anger was swelling inside of him at her words. He was fighting to keep his temper at bay. He noticed Iolaus shift slightly to look at him but ignored the frown on his face as he kept counting past thirty. Even Hercules was starting to look disgusted by Gabrielle's comments.
"I don't see how anyone could defend any of them but Strife, he was nothing but a jumped up little freak." Gabrielle sighed unable to see what the problem was; they were down one enemy and severe annoyance. "It's not like anyone misses him" she added snidely "You said Ares just dumped his body where he was killed; I bet none of them bothered to claim it."
"Shut up." Joxer spoke softly as he felt the fury curl into a fist at the bottom of his stomach. The idea of his friend's body being left till this day with no one but Grave robbers to abuse it sickened him, he was eternally glad he'd given him a Warrior's funeral and left nothing but ashes. He tried to tune out her voice as the mere mention of Ares infuriated him further, he knew he should be more furious with Discord but he'd always tried to convince himself that Ares cared for Strife in his own way. *I wanted to believe he could actually care for someone other then himself.* He thought, feeling guilty at thinking of his own feelings rather then defending his friend. He locked eyes with Gabrielle and listened to her rant never once breaking eye contact, "I said shut up Gabrielle."
Iolaus knew when to move and when not too and the look on Joxer's face told him they'd be fireworks. He quickly got up and moved next to Hercules ignoring the look the demigod gave him; he at least wasn't going to underestimate Joxer's temper.
Gabrielle blinked a look of stupidity crossing her face at Joxer's words. She couldn't understand why the man who professed to adore and dote on her (often to the point of nausea in her opinion) was being rude to her. She moved closer to him ignoring the warning signs and dug him in the ribs with her elbow.
"Please, you know I'm right" she laughed scornfully something that instantly put Joxer's back up "If he was that important and they missed him they would have got Hades to bring him back."
Joxer felt her body next to his and stiffened. Her body was literally throbbing and he could feel her body heat seep through to his making him angrier. He felt the knot of Fury inside him explode and stood up, towering over her and interrupting her mid explanation.
"Don't ever speak like that about Strife again." He glowered down at her and she shrunk back slightly seeing the pure ferocity on his face as he spoke; she didn't even dare open her mouth only squeaked in reply.
"I mean it Gabrielle; you are never ever to talk of him like that again. In fact don't even mention him at all and never mock him or who he was. He may not have been the best God and done the greatest things or been worshipped far and wide like the others but he was still a God; and my friend." He kept his voice steady refusing to lower it "If you don't like any of that, too bad, I won't sit here and listen to you bad mouth him."
He was shaking now, barely able to hold on to his rage. Part of him wanted to strike out and he held back never one to deliberately hurt someone, the other part wanted to burst into tears and was rapidly winning.
Ironically Hercules saved the day.
"Just think how many people would miss you if the situation was reversed." The demigod spoke softly as he glanced from Joxer to Gabrielle "Now think how it must feel to have no one who would. I didn't like Strife anymore then you Gabrielle but I'll be the first to admit that his death was wrong." He locked eyes with Joxer and "I won't condone anyone who will miss him but I don't support them either."
Joxer nodded and swallowed back the tears. He didn't have the strength to argue anymore and despite Hercules parting shot he was glad the demigod had defended him, and Strife. He noticed Hercules's eyes on him as the demigod put out the fire, Joxer could clearly read the disappointment in them and he avoided looking at Hercules unable to deal with more confrontation.
Iolaus avoided Joxer's eyes and lay down silently, though Joxer wasn't sure if he was annoyed by his revelations he could tell Iolaus was at least uneasy and he guessed that he and Hercules would set off as quickly as possible in the morning. He doubted they would want him to join them and he wasn't sure he could deal with more grief anyway; despite Hercules word he was sure by the time morning came around he'd be ready to add his own opinion and make his disappointment clear.
"Let's get some sleep." Joxer felt Xena's hand squeeze his shoulder and when he glanced into her eyes he saw understanding there. He knew she wouldn't have agreed with his friendship with the Strife but she didn't say anything against it and for that he was grateful. He wasn't sure he could cope with her rejection too.
He watched as she dragged the now spluttering Gabrielle as far away from Joxer as possible and forced her to lie down lying between the two, making it clear to Gabrielle the conversation was over.
Joxer lay down quickly, his legs shaky after the fight. He wrapped his arms around himself and tried to calm himself down. His heart still beat fast and he felt on edgy and wide awake but he hoped that after a nights sleep the next day would be easier to get through. As he lay on his side, he realized one thing; for the first time he'd actually admitted Strife was his friend even at the risk of his loosing his other friends. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes wishing he'd been brave enough to do so when the God was alive.
Invisible to the eyes of Gods and mortals alike the Goddess Asyinnitos watched the mortal known as Joxer as he attempted to sleep. His body was tense from the arguments and the adjustments required to house the zygotic god inside him. She could see that sleep would not be easy. Unable to whisper to the soul inside him which hadn't awakened yet from its slumber she settled for running a hand over Joxer's body, using her powers to drain the tension from him taking it into herself.
She watched him tremble slightly under her touch before slipping into a light sleep just outside of Morpheous' range. The painfully shy Goddess of Pregnancy and the Unborn smiled to herself, happy that Gaia had entrusted her to watch over Joxer and Strife hiding them from the eyes of the other Gods. Asyinnitos was more then just a minor God and often worked with Hera to ensure pregnancies went as smoothly as Fates intended but she was rarely seen on Olympus. If she attended festivals and coronations she always remained in the background and was overlooked. She doubted any of the Gods aside from Hera; her sister and mother could actually recognize her and knew what she did. Most of her time was spent invisible to mortals' eyes; she would soothe and calm unborn babies, lulling them into sleep and encouraging them to grow and be strong.
Like Strife, she had very few shrines and no temples but gained power through those she watched over. Even though few would know her name their thanks for safe pregnancies fuelled her, she would be a formidable goddess to go up against despite her shyness. Her fierce protectiveness was normally saved only for those she watched over now not only extended to her gestating cousin Strife but to his mortal friend who carried him within.
Asyinnitos smiled slightly as she felt another Goddess flash in behind her, the only other being also charged by Gaia with keeping the two safe. She turned slightly to take the hand of Joxer's other protector, Adrasteia the Goddess of Divine Retribution, her mother. She placed a kiss on Joxer's head and pressed her fingers lightly to his belly and murmured "Be safe, little one" before she allowed her mother to flash them away.
"Yo Unc what's up?" Joxer blinked, confused, as the words flowed from his mouth. He felt his own mouth settle into a smirk as he strode into the simple white temple. A bright flash lit up the room and a feeling of nervousness and dread settled over him. As the flash died down he stared up at Ares scowling face and his heart sank, Joxer tried to bite back the babble that flew from his lips but his body moved of it own accord. "Yeh sorry about ta day it just would have been bad ya know. It's not like I missed tha thing on purpose an I bet Cupe was glad not ta have me there." Joxer grimaced inwardly as he felt his heart twist at the mention of Cupids name but the smirk remained fixed on his face.
Ares fist was a blur of red as it shot out hitting him straight in the chest and Joxer felt himself fly backwards almost in slow motion. His eyes were fixed on Ares and he saw disgust briefly in them before the God turned away as Joxer crashed into the stone pillar behind him. He kept the forced smirk on his face even as his body shuddered at the flare of pain across his back. Joxer resigned himself to dealing with the bruises as the thought, bizarrely, crossed his mind that the only person who'd actually patch him up was busy down in Greece trying to introduce his newest method of healing. *I hope he doesn't rough me up too much, still rather him then Discord* the thought crossed his mind confusing Joxer even more. He didn't understand why he was being thrown around by Ares anymore than why he was worrying about Discord roughing him up; it was true he'd probably be terrified if he ever met the Goddess but he'd never worried about it when he'd been friends with Strife.
*Speak of the harpy* the thought echoed snidely in his mind as a slightly more muted flash lit up next to him. Joxer felt a hysterical giggle pass his lips as he stared up into Discords face. She leant over him, sneered and sashayed away moving closer to Ares then Joxer would have liked. He inclined his head slightly and froze; technically his mind did anyway, as he stared into the polished reflective surface of a shield. His body pulled itself up despite the stabbing pain that ran through it, dusted itself off and sauntered over to Discord and Ares. Joxer's mind was still locked on the image in the shield; instead of his normal cheerful average looks (his own words) he had seen the sharper paler features of Strife. He tried to scream "What in Hades is going on?" but as his mouth opened all that came out was, "Hey ma, long time no see."
Joxer could feel conflicting emotions coming from Strife as he looked from Ares to Discord. As he looked at Ares he felt respect and a deep desire to please; he felt a need to make Ares proud along with a comfortable feeling of security and safety which Joxer found extremely ironic considering his visit to the pillar all of five minutes ago. When Joxer turned Discord he felt Strifes emotions become chaotic and twisted; he hated his mother and yet desperately wanted her at the same time; he was terrified of her but enjoyed baiting her and making her life miserable whenever he could even though he seemed to grudgingly respect her work.
Joxer tried again to speak but nothing came out; his gaze was fixed on Discord and as he looked at her he felt his body force itself not to involuntarily tremble. Discord must have noticed a tremble no matter how slight and Joxer felt Strife's heart sink as the Goddess smiled, it wasn't a very nice smile it was the kind of smile that made mortals piss themselves.
"Shame you missed the ceremony today Strife, you know presenting a new God to the pantheon is a big thing. Zeus wont be pleased you didn't attend." The light in her eyes told Joxer how much she'd love to see him, Strife, punished for it. He felt something inside Strife die little by little as she spoke, her words like poisonous barbs despite their `sweetness', "and the baby was so cute you know. All blue eyes, blonde hair and smiles. Oh and wings too you know, he looks just like Cupid did when he was a baby. Can't see any of his mother in him but that's probably for the best. Just as well he looks so much like Cupid isn't it? He wouldn't want any other unpleasant reminders coming out in the newest generation."
Joxer felt himself swallow hard and his fists clench involuntarily as he watched Discord laugh. A bright light pierced his vision which made him blink and he heard cold words echo in his mind displacing the laughter briefly *You will never see him, never Strife. You're nothing to them. * Joxer saw Ares on the edge of his vision blasting Discord into the wall and he let out a mental cheer as the bright light spread out encompassing everything. Joxer felt hands on his shoulders and he hit out wildly. He felt relief flood him as he felt his body move to slap away the intruding hands. He heard a squeal and felt a sudden rush hit his body as tiny pinpricks of cold covered it.
Joxer sat up gasping and rubbed at his eyes as he spat out the remnants of the ice cold water that had soaked through his clothes. As his vision cleared he stared up at Xena, a very unimpressed Xena who was holding a water carrier and sporting a slight bruise on her shoulder. Joxers eyes went wide and realizing the implications of this he stood up quickly babbling in apology.
Xena's face cracked a slight smile as Joxer raced over the apology and he felt relief settle over him as she spoke "Apology accepted Joxer, I won't try to wake you again." Xena frowned and looked at him "You know you've been having a lot of nightmares recently, kicking about and moaning but you always seem to settle straight after them and not wake up," she shrugged "You must have been fighting someone though, I wasn't expecting the punch but I should have been able to stop it. You must be practicing." She turned away before he could correct her and walked over to the light fire scratching her head violently.
"Oh God it itches!" he heard the moan before he saw Gabrielle limp into the clearing trying to scratch her foot as she walked. She hopped over to Joxer then flopped down next to him on Xena's bedroll holding her foot up for his inspection even as her eyes stared at Xena in accusation "Foot rot!"
Xena rolled her eyes "Gabrielle I told you, if you didn't listen…" she didn't have time to finish before Gabrielle was off griping again "Foot rot Xena! From those disgusting swamps you made us wade through," her eyes almost glowed in anger and Joxer edged away slightly. On the whole Gabrielle only got that upset one day out of the month and that was the day all of them had their `alone time'.
Xena looked more amused then annoyed though Joxer noticed her scratch her head vigorously again "I warned you Gabrielle, I said…"
"And what in Zeus is this?" Gabrielle voice rose to new octaves as she jumped up staring down at Xena's bedroll, "Lice! You've got lice Xena?"
Joxer somehow managed to fight back a laugh as the normal unflappable warrior princess almost shoved Gabrielle out of the way to examine her bedroll; "I have not got lice. You think I wouldn't know if I had lice?" she scowled at Gabrielle who was now alternating between itching her foot and head "I don't think so," she stomped off back to the fire mumbling the word "lice" under her breath as she tried to get the fire going properly. Gabrielle had resorted to hopping as she stared at Xena's bedroll.
Joxer resisted the urge to scratch his own head; with all the gracefulness he could muster in the early morning light and with a full bladder, sprang up out of his own bedroll not wanting the irritating insects near him. He swayed slightly feeling momentarily lightheaded and almost tripped over. He heard Gabrielle's laughter as he righted himself and smiled ruefully; his clumsiness had been a long time coming so he wasn't surprised she was making the most of its comic value. It had been well over four weeks since his balance and coordination had improved and Joxer had found himself becoming less and less prone to falling over. Recently it seemed the own time he did was when Gabrielle was near and he'd either fallen on her or knocked her over in the process.
"Same old Joxer," Gabrielle smirked at him as he pottered past her and Xena on his way to the river. Joxer felt a slightly popping in his abdomen and frowned pausing on his way, after a few minutes without any unpleasant side effects he shrugged and walked down the slope to the water, he burst into laughter as his ears caught Gabrielle's voice which was becoming fainter at each step "By the Gods it's spreading, Xena look this things spreading all over!"
Still laughing quietly to himself, Joxer quickly stripped off and laid his clothes by the waters edge checking them briefly for lice. He couldn't help but smile at the slight sounds of argument coming from the camp; He didn't like to see anyone fight but Gabrielle had been becoming almost unbearable recently in her not so subtle attempts to find out more about his friendship with Strife and insult the God. The words `shut up' worked only so often and he could see Xena becoming more and more short tempered as the days went on, for the sake of their friendship well his and Xena's anyway, Joxer had decided to part company with them once they reached the next village. He choked back at laugh at Xena's `Scabrielle' comments and focussed on himself, ignoring the sniping of the other two.
Joxer shivered slightly as he stepped into the cold water, the sun had not had enough time to heat it. He took a few steps in and gasped as the cold tingle settled over his privates, not waiting for the water to lap higher he ducked down and shot up gasping as the too- refreshing feeling. Joxer stepped out a little further and started bobbing in the water, letting it soak up to his neck now. He'd been so hot recently and now his body was becoming used to the water he was feeling a lot better for it. His only real discomfort was a throbbing feeling in his nipples, they'd been tingling on and off for the last week but now they were throbbing violently. He touched them and hissed; it wasn't quite pain but they were very tender his eyes widened as he looked down at them; Not only were his nipples a lot larger then normal but they were covered in small white bumps, Joxer prodded a bump experimentally and groaned as the burning feeling hit him. He cupped his pectoral as the pain passed and stared in fascination at the pale bluish lines around his nipples, they spread out like a fan making his pec more raised then normal, almost swollen. It didn't look abnormal but it gave the impression Joxer did a lot of training and exercise. If it wasn't for the lines and lumps he wouldn't have minded the look, and the pain too of course.
Joxer washed his chest carefully before tending to the rest of his body; a blush started in his cheeks and almost instantly ran down his body as he realized his nipple explorations had caused his cock to go half hard. Without thought his hand instantly moved to it and he wrapped his fingers around the shaft stroking softly, as the other hand swept down lower and cupped his balls he realized how sensitive they were and bit back a moan gently massaging them. Closing his eyes he blocked the sounds around him and focussed on the strong sensations running through his body. Joxer licked his dry lips keeping up a steady stroke; his hand moved off his balls and almost hesitantly stroked his swollen nipples. It wasn't quite pleasure or pain but it made him more aroused then ever; Joxer shuddered slightly, his cock jumping at the feeling,. He whimpered as he pumped his cock faster and ran his nails gently over his nipple, his back arched and his mind slipped into one of his favorite fantasies. Joxer's fantasy lover was caressing his body gently, teasing him into frenzy as he kissed up and down. His dream lover sucked and teased Joxers nipples with his tongue and the mortal rubbed harder and faster on them. His dream lover took Joxers cock; he taunted the mortal by bathing it with his tongue before he took it fully into his mouth, sucking hard and encouraging the mortal to thrust into his mouth. Joxers hand pumped herder and he thrust into time to the thrusts in his fantasy. He felt a hot flush swell from within and his body shuddered, arching his back Joxer didn't manage to bite off a cry as he came, his fantasy lovers name slipping from his lips, "Ares!"
The instant the name slipped from his lips Joxer collapsed back into the water panting hard. Red faced and sweaty he opened his eyes and was fervently glad that both Xena and Gabrielle were arguing too loudly to hear him. A second after his relief came the guilt and Joxer closed his eyes in shame as he realized he'd just fantasized about one of the people who'd hurt Strife the most. The fantasy wasn't anything new unlike the sensations from his body but he let the guilt wash over him as he bobbed in the water glad there was no evidence of his `crime'. Ares was the one person Strife actually had seemed, both in Joxer's dream and in reality, to look up to and believe in. The abandonment and pain his friend had to have felt when Ares left him must have been overwhelming. Joxer bit his lip and swallowed hard, he'd left his worship of Ares for a reason for Strife and he'd be damned if he'd ever allow himself to indulge like that again and defile his friend's memory. Joxer swore to himself that he'd put his own feelings for the War God aside and focus back on the ones he'd felt for Strife, over the injustice at his friends death and mourning.
His decision made he stepped out of the water and stood in the morning sun for a few minutes letting it dry him, Joxer slowly began to pull on his trousers and tunic and was just reaching for his shoes when he heard Gabrielle's shriek, it wasn't a `I'm furious with Xena' shriek it was more of a `we're being attacked!' shriek. Reacting on instinct and with no thought of the potential danger that could lie ahead Joxer raced back up the slope, he ignored the rocks cutting into his feet and burst into the clearing…and froze.
Xena was slowly making her way to her feet in a daze of confusion as she rubbed her head at the pain and Gabrielle was pinned against a tree, a muscular arm holding her in place as she tried to wriggle free. Although their attackers back was to him Joxer would have recognized the wings anywhere, he stepped forward cautiously and asked "Cupid?" the only response he got was Gabrielle's gasp of pain as Cupid tightened his hold around her neck. Joxer moved closer not wanting to rush the God, he never imagined Cupid to be a violent God but he wasn't going to chance startling him and getting Gabrielle's neck broken "Cupid, put her down!" His voice was soft yet had a note of command in it that even Joxer had never heard before.
He wasn't entirely surprised when Cupid dropped Gabrielle to the floor as if she were a rag doll. He glanced at her, her eyes were a little fuzzy and she was gasping but she seemed all right. Xena had now righted herself fully and seemed back in control, despite her itches she was poised to attack or defend as Cupid turned to face Joxer.
Joxer stared at the God; though Cupid had never been one of his favorite Gods he felt pity at the sight of the God before him. Cupid looked like he'd been to Tartarus, for punishment, and back. The God was shaking violently his body experienced severe tremors, small sparks were spitting from his hands and his body was sagging under his own weight. As Joxer stared up at Cupids face he saw sweat pouring off the God, the pain and sorrow radiating off him was obvious for anyone to see even without the miserly reflected in Cupids face. He felt fear grip him as he locked eyes with Cupid and the God's eyes locked back into focus, on Joxer. Joxer could see Cupid was acting on instinct more then anything and now that the Gods eyes were on him Joxer took a step back, trying to put himself out of the line of fire. He saw a hunger more primal then anything ever seen he'd ever seen before light up Cupid's eyes as they began to glow a bright emerald green, the glow encompassing the Gods body as he lunged for Joxer.