Updated Part

Tearing his eyes away from his over-enthusiastic daughter's...uh?...jiggling, Zeus cleared his throat yet again. If he kept clearing his throat, he had a feeling he'd begin to hawk luggies. "Ahem. Yes. Where was I?"

Hera leaned over and whispered into Zeus' ear. "Ah! Yes, of course!" Turning his attention back to his offspring. "My last and final gift is..." He paused, hoping for a dramatic effect.

"Get on with it already! I have to piss!" Hades yelled from within the crowd.

Zeus glared at his brother. "I am. I am." Looking back down, he continued. "Ares, Cupid and Strife. I hereby reinstate your Godhoods." He waved his hand as he said this and the three former Gods were surrounded by a flash of blue.

As soon as the flash of light disappeared, the crowd once again cheered and applauded.

"Oh, Gods!" Cupid squealed suddenly.

Strife ran over to his husband. "What!? What's wrong?"

Cupid beamed as he turned towards his worried husband. "I can like, feel the baby's life force!" Grabbing Strife's hand, he placed it just below his navel.

Strife gasped as he felt their baby shift inside of Cupid slightly. "I can just barely sense our baby. Oh, this is so cool!"

Cupid just nodded and grinned stupidly.

As Joxer woke up from his second fainting of the day...he had a feeling he might continue to faint the rest of the day if anything else was brought up...he turned his attention away from his new stepson and son-in-law and back towards Ares. "Can you feel our babies?"

Ares blinked, shrugged his shoulders and closed his eyes in concentration. "I can feel their life forces, but it's very faint. I *am* only a week pregnant you know."

Joxer smiled softly. He wished he could place his hand on Ares' stomach and sense his children-to-be, but since he wasn't a God, it would be difficult. So he decided to wait until Ares was far enough along to actually feel his children move around.

Sensing the mixed emotions in the room, Zeus coughed to get everyone's attention. Well, it was better than clearing his throat for the billionth time that day. Besides, he *so* didn't want to have snot coming out of his mouth...

{Gag! Spew!} Narrator turns her attention towards Bob. "Oh, come on! It wasn't *that* damn gross!" Narrator winces as Bob continues to hurl. {Sigh!} "Anyway, as I was saying..."

"All right everyone! Seeing as everything is back to normal, I suggest we..." Zeus never finished as he was suddenly interrupted by Ares.

"You planned this whole damn thing!?" Ares screamed as he glared daggers, knives and swords at his scheming father.

Zeus stared wide-eyed at his furious son. "Wha...what are you talking about?"

Ares slowly made his way towards his father. "Don't play that innocent shit with me, you Old Goat! I read Dite's mind!"

Zeus threw an angry look towards his daughter.

"Whoops. Did I forget to shield myself?" Aphrodite asked as she innocently blinked her eyelashes.



"Whoa! I nevah knew your mom was so devious," Strife whispered to Cupid.

Cupid, never taking his eyes off of the exchange between his father, mother and grandfather, whispered back, "Neither did I."

"Wait a minute! What do you mean this was all planned?" Gabrielle asked as she turned a supercilious look towards the assembled Gods.

Eris, never one to hold out on getting back at her father, spoke up. "Exactly what he said. Zeus was tired of seeing Ares alone and moody all the time, so decided to come up with a plan to get him hitched to someone. Which incidentally was Joxer here," she said as she pointed to Joxer.

Joxer crinkled his brows in thought. "Why did Zeus want Ares to hook up with me? He could have picked anyone."

Ares nodded his head in agreement. Don't get him wrong, he was glad to be with Joxer, but he was also curious to know why his father thought they would be a good match.

Eris paused a moment to think of an appropriate answer. "You were choosen because you have a natural ability to neutralize Ares' darker side. Where Ares is dark and deadly, you are soft and lively." She suddenly giggled. "Of course, we didn't know for sure if you two would hook up as it were, so basically we were leaving it to Chance."

Finished with her explaination to Joxer, she continued. "He also asked Hera, Dite and myself to help with most of the planning. Although, he had to get the consent of all the other Gods and Goddesses to actually make the plan work."

Strife crinkled his eyebrows together in thought and then turned towards his mother. "If that's tha case, how come Cupe and me were made mortal also?"

Eris smiled at her son before continuing. "We needed someone else to go along with your uncle so he wouldn't be suspicious and I volunteered you."

"What!? Ma, how could ya?" Strife pouted. He couldn't believe his own mother would do such a thing to him. Actually, he could. But that was beside the point.

"Hey, you're almost two hundred years old and besides, I was getting tired of waiting for you to make me a grandmother," she replied. Actually, before Strife was even born, she had never really thought about having kids or grandkids. Oh, she loved her son more than life itself, but the day after he was conceived she had vowed to never again get totally smashed when she was at one of Aphrodite's 'parties'.

Strife blushed. "It wasn't my fault. No one evah stayed with me long enough for that ta happen." He turned to Cupid. "I didn't think I would evah find anyone."

Before Cupid could reply, Aphrodite jumped in. "Strife, Cupid's been pining after you for like, decades. He was going to tell you when that whole Psyche thing happened."

Strife gaped at Cupid. "Ya were? How come ya nevah told me? I had tha hots for ya for as long as I could remember."

"I don't know. I guess I didn't think you would want to hang around a Love God. You were always planning and scheming things with Pops, that I could never get up the nerve to ask you out," Cupid replied as he placed a hand onto Strife's cheek and stroked it lovingly.

"Damn. You guys are good. I never even suspected a thing," Ares said as he continued to give his father evil looks.

"Now that you guys know what was going on behind your backs, can we go out into the garden and get this party started?" Apollo yelled from within the crowd.

There was a loud chorus of 'yeah!' from the peanut gallery...um?...I mean the audience.

Part fourty-seven.

Part fourty-seven. (::sob!:: This is it guys)

Zeus sighed heavily before turning to Hera. "Are we done?"

"I'm not sure," Hera replied. Sticking the tip of her tongue out the side of her mouth, she mentally went over her list. Get the guys paired up.

Check.

Make sure one of each got preggers.

Check and double check. She snorted mentally at her lame-ass attempt at a joke.

Marry the couples.

Check.

Finished with her review, she focused her attention back onto her husband.

"Yes, we're done."

"Good." Turning on his 'announcement' voice, Zeus addressed the crowd.

"Family and friends. I would like to invite you all out to the garden for..."

Before Zeus could finish, Apollo yelled, "Finally! Come on everyone! Let's party!" With that he transported the entire crowd out to the garden.

Zeus, mouth still open, turned once more to his wife. "When did I lose control?"

"The day our children were born, dear," Hera replied as she flashed out to join the others.

Zeus stood there opening and closing his mouth like a fish before he too flashed out, muttering something about women and condoms.

*************

As soon as Zeus and the others disappeared, Cupid and Strife both broke out in giggles.

Gabrielle rolled her eyes at the two giggling Gods and turned her attention to Xena. "I'm hungry. Let's go out into the garden too."

"Go ahead without me, I want to talk with Ares."

Gabrielle looked from Xena to Ares and back again. "Okay." With that she left the inner room and headed for the garden.

*************

Aphrodite bounced over to Cupid and hugged him gently. "I'm, like, so happy for the both of you, Cupie."

Cupid hugged his mother back. "Thanks, Mom."

"I've got to go and entertain the guests. I'll see you guys there." Smiling, she flashed out in a shower of gold sparkles and rose petals.

Once his mother disappeared, Cupid turned a leer towards his husband. "Come on, stud. We have guests to greet and presents to collect," Cupid said as he walked over to Strife, grabbed his hand and flashed out.

Before Cupid and Strife flashed out, Strife glanced quickly at his mother, waving. "Catch ya at tha party, Ma!"

Eris sighed, shook her head and followed after her children.

****************

Once everyone left for the garden, Ares turned his attention towards his daughter. "So, what'd you want to talk about?"

"Actually, I wanted to speak to you in private." Grabbing Ares' arm, Xena excused them from Joxer's presence and walked a few feet away.

"Okay, shoot."

Getting right up in her father's face, Xena began. "Ares, I know you love Joxer or you wouldn't have married him and I know you will love his children. But if I ever find out you hurt him in any way, shape or form, I will hunt you down and personally rip out your intestines. Are we clear?"

Ares blinked in shock. There wasn't a man, woman or child alive who had ever *dared* to talk to him like that. Hell, even his own father had never had the courage to do so. Damn, but he was proud of his daughter!

Keeping the sappy grin of a proud father off his face, Ares replied, "Crystal."

"Good," Xena said, before she suddenly leaned forward and hugged the stuffing out of Ares. "I really am happy for the both of you."

Ares let a small smile creep onto his face. "Thank you."

Xena nodded slightly and walked back over to Joxer. "Good luck, Joxer, and be happy," Xena said as she gave her new stepfather a hug.

"Thanks, Xena. I will." Xena smiled at this, turned towards the door to the garden and walked out.

As soon as Xena left, Joxer turned towards his new husband. "So, what did she want to talk to you about?"

"Oh, same old, same old. Don't even think of hurting you or I'll end up with a hole in my stomach."

Joxer blinked. Xena was worried about *him*? It was enough to make him want to cry. "That was sweet of her."

Ares raised an eyebrow at Joxer. "Yes...it was," Ares replied, wondering what he had gotten himself into.

"Anyway," Joxer broke into Ares' thoughts. "Shall we go out into the garden and greet our guests?"

Ares grabbed Joxer by the front of his shirt and gently yanked him towards himself. "Actually, I had my mind set on going to our honeymoon early. And this time..." Ares placed his free hand onto Joxer's crotch. "...I'm on top," he finished with a growl.

Joxer groaned as Ares' hand came into contact with his hardening erection.

Joxer leaned forward. "Sounds like a plan to me. There's just one thing you have to do first," Joxer said as he gave Ares a light kiss.

"Oh? And what would that be?"

Stepping back, Joxer gave Ares a wicked grin. "You've got to catch me,"

Joxer replied before high-tailing it towards the door to the garden.

Ares blinked a couple of times. "What in Tartarus was that?" Ares muttered to himself, looking from where Joxer had been standing to the door to the garden and back again. "Does he actually think I'll run after him?" Giving it some thought, Ares sighed. "Yup, he does. Gods, I'm becoming dick whipped." He then disappeared in a flash of blue sparkles.

The End

Narrator sighs happily. "Thank God I'm finally done with this story."

{Ahem!}

Narrator looks up to see Bob standing in front of her, with his hands on his hips. "What!?"

Bob hands Narrator another story.

Narrator glares at Bob as she snatches it from him. Looking over the story, her mouth suddenly drops open. "Oh, you have *got* to be kidding me! A *sequel*!? To this?" Narrator tosses the story at Bob's nod of affirmation. "I'm not going to, and you can't make me!" Narrator yells as she crosses her arms across her chest and pouts.

Bob pulls out a stack of papers and shoves them into Narrator's face.

"What's that?" Bob tells her. "My contract? So?"

Bob flips through forty pages of legal stuff before getting to his destination. Bob looks over the page he's stopped on and drops the entire thing onto Narrator's lap.

Sighing, Narrator picks up her contract and starts to read. "Damn! I knew I should have read the fine print before taking this job." Narrator looks up and sees Bob smirking at her. "Okay, okay. Give me the damn thing already!"

Bob bends over and picks up the story Narrator threw. He then hands it back to her.

{Sigh!} ::Clears throat:: "To be continued in 'One Step Closer'." //God, I *hate* my job!//