Title: One Step Closer
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Series: The Narrator Series
Rating: [NC17]
Codes: A/J and C/S
Website: http://www.slashheaven.com/ (It'll be updated one of these days.)

Archive: AJCS, Joxerotica, JLA, Mpreg, SUJE-Adult, RCOS, FCanon, CKoS and

anyone else who asks me first.

Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own them. Sure wish I did though. I've got a couple of delicious things I'd love to do to our boys. :-)

Feedback: Well, since you insist...

Author's Note:

1. This is a sequel to My Way or the Highway. If you haven't read that one first, then this story won't make much sense. ::pause:: Well? What are ya waiting for? An engraved invitation? Go read it for pity's sake!

2. It's got mpreg in it, but if you've read the previous story, then this shouldn't surprise you.

3. Since the last story was flaky and weird, this one will be too. It'll make you laugh though. :-)

4. I got the title from listening to way too much Linkin Park. (See a pattern here?)

5. I mention a song here called 'Anywhere' by 112. I didn't write out the lyrics, so if you want to know why they're dancing the way they are, I suggest going out and getting it or borrowing it from someone. The CD's called 'Room 112'. :-)

Acknowledgements: Once again, I'd like to thank my three wonderful and dedicated betas, Kris, Sherri and Hergerbabe. Without their help, my stories would make about as much sense as a $.99 coin. (Bonus points for whomever knows where I got this from.) Thanks guys!

Summary: The continuing adventures of our boys.

Flicking the ashes off of her cigarette, Narrator begins to narrate.

"Cast of characters.

Ares-Greek God of War who has a secret fetish for aggressive bad boys.

Married to Joxer the Mighty, his snuggle bunny and father of his twins.

Looks fucking sexy in tight black leather and his fuck-me-now-you-stud goatee. Uncle to Strife, his three-sandwiches-short-of-a-picnic-basket nephew. Father to Cupid, his call-me-Strife's-bitch son and about thirty other children.

Joxer the Mighty-Some klutz who acts coy and shy around others, but is really aggressive in the sack with his husband, Ares. Father of Ares' twins. Friend to Xena. Annoyance to my-shit-don't-stink Gabrielle. Renowned stud at Meg's.

Strife-Greek God of Mischief who needs to remember to take his daily dose of Ritalin. Married to Cupid, his bitch and 'mother' of his child. Needs to get more sun...he's *so* pale you can see right through him. Son of dominatrix-in-training, Discord. User of massive amounts of hair gel.

Banned from craft stores...he has *way* too many safety pins on his outfit.

Cupid-Greek God of Love who acts *way* too girly. Married to Strife, his boy toy and father of his second child. Father to Bliss, his I'm-so-damn-sweet-you'll-get-cavities son. Divorced from over-one-billion-served Psyche. Son of I'm-so-fucking-sexy-it's-a-sin Ares. Son of nymphomaniac-and-proud-of-it Aphrodite..."

{Ahem!} Bob forcefully clears his throat as he glares at Narrator.

"What!?" Narrator yells as she glares right back at Bob.

Giving Narrator the evil eye, Bob searches the dirty coffee table looking for the 'real' story. After searching for five minutes, he spots it underneath Narrator's ashtray. Shaking off the ashes, he tosses it to Narrator.

{Sigh!} "Okay, fine. I'll get back to the 'real' story at hand. Happy now?"

Narrator picks up the story and gives Bob one last glare before reading.

**********************

Everyone was having a blast at the wedding reception out in the garden behind Aphrodite's temple in Thebes.

Apollo had gone into the future and brought back some strange device called a 'stereo system' and a few small round objects called 'CDs'. When Zeus had told him and everyone else about his plans to get Ares and the others married, Apollo had asked if he could go a few thousand years into the future and borrow some of the music of that time period. He had been quite surprised when Zeus not only told him to go for it, but had also picked the music out himself. Apollo had been impressed with his choice of music.

The guests were currently dancing to some group...band...whatever, calling themselves 'One-Twelve'.

Apollo thought it was a strange thing to call one's self.

The song currently being played was 'Anywhere'.

It was definitely an appropriate song for the occasion. Anyone with a date was dancing so close and sultry, Apollo had a feeling he'd be getting lucky later that night.

**************

Not having anyone to dance with, Eris stood off to the side watching her son and son-in-law/nephew dance to the beat of the music. Eris' eyes went wide as she watched Cupid grind his backside into her son's crotch.

Strife held Cupid by his hips and was currently moving his own hips in a circular fashion against his husband.

Cupid was bent forward a bit, probably to keep his wings out of Strife's face, his eyes were closed and his head was slightly thrown back. Let's just say, that if they had been butt naked, they'd be in a perfect position for some serious boinking.

Aphrodite was seated next to her Hephy. They had been dancing for awhile when Hephaestus asked if they could sit this one out. She agreed, knowing that with his 'disabilities' he wasn't able to exert himself as much as everyone else. Actually, the real reason was that he wanted to save his energy for the bedchamber.

Aphrodite sighed dreamily as she watched everyone else dance. She looked towards her right and caught a glimpse of Xena and Gabrielle dancing.

Gaping in shock, she elbowed Hephaestus. "Hey, Hephy. Look what Xena and the Gabster are doing."

Sighing, Hephaestus turned his head in the direction Aphrodite was pointing.

"Oh, gross! Thanks a lot, dearest. Now, I won't be able to get it up for a week!" Hephaestus groaned as he quickly turned his head to stare at a nearby tree.

//Uh huh, sure. That's what you say now, stud.//

Xena and Gabrielle were dancing in almost the same fashion as Cupid and Strife were. Xena was standing there shaking her groove thing while Gabrielle shimmied her way down Xena's body and back up again. It would have looked erotic and sexy on anyone else, but on those two, it looked like a badly written porn flick...

Narrator stops her narrating to give Bob a questioning look. "I didn't know porn flicks were written. I thought they just told the 'actors' to get to it."

Bob blinked stupidly at Narrator. Not knowing what to say, he just shrugged his shoulders and gestured for her to continue.

"Hmm?" Shaking her head, Narrator continued from where she had left off.

"Anyway, as I was saying..."

******************

When we last left our intrepid 'heroes', Joxer was running out the door towards the garden, and Ares was blinking rapidly and talking to himself.

Before Joxer got to where everyone was gathered around...having a grand old time...he ran smack dab into Ares' broad chest.

Ares had flashed out of his sister's temple and reappeared right in Joxer's path. He had wanted the element of surprise, so had done so quietly.

Flailing his arms to regain his balance, Joxer glared at his husband. "Hey, no fair. You cheated!"

Ares raised an amused eyebrow at Joxer. "Pardon me, but I don't recall there being any rules to this little 'game'."

"True. But still," Joxer conceded, giving Ares a pout. "So, now that you caught me...what are you going to do with me?"

Ares groaned. Gods, but how Joxer turned him on! He gave a silent prayer of thanks to The Fates, who heard him and gasped in shock. No one *ever* prayed to them! This was definitely something to celebrate...Not!

Grabbing Joxer by the front of his shirt once again, Ares growled. "Bed. Now!"

"Ooo! Getting all forceful on me, are we?" Joxer teased, a seductive grin playing around the edges of his mouth.

Ares closed his eyes and counted to ten. When he opened them, Joxer still had that look that said 'Yes, yes, I'm a slut. Just tell me where and when.'

Ares had to back up a step so he could adjust his painful erection. //Damn, he's good.//

Seeing the look on Ares' face and his attempt to settle 'the boys' down, Joxer smirked.

Pissed and horny, Ares growled then disappeared in an angry shower of blue sparkles; leaving Joxer behind.

End Part One.

Part Two.

Joxer blinked a couple of times, unable to believe that Ares had actually *left* him.

"Ha, ha. This isn't funny, Ares. You know I can't follow you," Joxer yelled towards the sky. When he didn't get an answer, Joxer's shoulders sagged and he began to walk off towards the center of the celebration. "Guess I shouldn't have teased him so much."

Sighing and looking like a little puppy who has been kicked one too many times, Joxer continued on until he was suddenly surrounded by a flash of blue light. Having closed his eyes at the initial brightness, he slowly reopened them and found himself standing bare assed naked in the middle of what looked to be someone's bedchamber.

Joxer was startled out of his musings by a throat being cleared behind him.

He turned around a bit too quickly and stumbled over his own two feet. Grumbling curses under his breath, he picked himself up off the floor. "I meant to do that," he told the person who had done the throat clearing.

"So I see," came the amused reply.

Rolling his eyes, Joxer looked around to get a better view of his surroundings. There was a huge bed dominating most of the space in the room. Satiny looking black sheets adorned the top of it. Surprisingly, the bed was a mess. It looked as though someone had been attacking those same black sheets in their sleep. //Back, you foul sheet! Back, I say!// Joxer giggled silently at the thought.

Reluctantly tearing his eyes away from the big comfy looking bed, Joxer continued his browsing. As he scanned the rest of the room, he noticed some paintings on the wall closest to the door. Upon further inspection, Joxer realized that the paintings were actually portraits of a few people he knew and some he didn't.

"I know some of these people, but who are all the others?" Joxer asked over his shoulder towards the man standing behind him.

"Every single one of those faces are of my children; mortal and immortal," came the quiet reply.

Joxer whistled lightly to himself. There had to be at least thirty different portraits. Joxer hoped and prayed that all of those children were spread out among long expanses of time, or else he was going to be up to his armpits in stepchildren.

Suddenly, one portrait caught his attention. "Say, isn't that one of Strife?"

"Yes, it is. And your point being...?"

Joxer finally turned around to face the other man. "I was just asking. You don't have to get all pissy with me, Ares." Joxer sniffed, crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

"Joxer, my love, I'm horny and feeling very frustrated at the moment.

You're not exactly helping the situation any," Ares said as he moved closer to Joxer.

Joxer let the corner of his mouth go up in a half smirk. "Oh don't worry, Ares, I plan on alleviating that in a little bit." Flicking a hand vaguely in the direction of Strife's portrait, Joxer asked, "So why do you have his portrait amongst those of your children? I thought he was your nephew, or is there something I should know?"

Ares rolled his eyes and sighed. "He *is* my nephew. I consider him as one of my own because I've raised him since he was a small child. Don't get me wrong, Eris loves her boy and would do anything for him, but she's not all there up here," Ares specified, tapping a finger against his forehead.

"That makes sense in a weird sort of way. What about his father? Shouldn't he have been the one to raise him?" Joxer asked, curiosity getting the better of him...

Narrator stopped narrating a moment. Looking up at Bob, who loved to hover around her like an annoying little insect, she sighed. "Okay, all this chatter is fine and dandy, but when are we going to get to the sex?"

Gesturing to Narrator to hand him the story, he flipped to the next page once she complied. Finding what he was looking for, Bob handed the story back to Narrator.

Looking over the next page, Narrator's eyes went wide. "Oh! Well, okay then." She then flipped the story back over to the page she was reading.

"Now, where was I?" She scans the words briefly before finding where she left off. "Ah! Found it! As I was saying..."

Ares' upper lip broke out in a sweat. //Damn, Joxer's a nosy little thing.//

"Well, you see...um...the funny thing about that is...," Ares paused a moment. He didn't have the faintest idea how to proceed. Tartarus! He hadn't even remembered what had happened until recently.

When Joxer realized Ares wasn't going to continue anytime soon, he gently laid his hand onto Ares' arm. "Go ahead, I'm listening." Oh, yes. He was *definitely* listening. Anything that could make the War God pause and stutter must be important.

Ares searched his husband's face, looking for any sign that he would need to worry about what he told Joxer. When all he saw in those expressive eyes was an open mind and open heart, Ares felt a bit more confident. But not much.

Still a bit wary, Ares began his tale. "Well, it all started a little over two hundred years ago..."

*****************

Two hundred years earlier

"So, are you two enjoying the party?" Aphrodite asked, coming up from behind with a huge smile plastered onto her face.

Ares, drunk out of his skull, staggered a bit. "Oh, jus' peachy," he replied as his stank ass breath hit her dead in the face.

"Whoa," Aphrodite coughed as she waved a delicate hand in front of her nose.

"I think you've had just a tad too much to drink there, Ar. Your breath smells like something crawled inside your mouth and died."

Before Ares could think up a retort, Aphrodite let her gaze fall onto her sister. "What about you, Eris? Having fun?"

Eris, who was slightly drunker than her brother, blinked glazed over eyes.

"Huh?"

"My, aren't we just the conversationalist tonight," Aphrodite sniffed disdainfully.

Realizing she wasn't going to get any straight answers from her dark siblings, Aphrodite rolled her eyes and headed off towards her other guests. //Hopefully, *they'll* be sober.//

A few moments after Aphrodite left, Eris suddenly turned towards her brother. "Did you shay shomeshin'?"

Ares turned lazily towards Eris and blinked. "Don' know. Did I?"

"Why ya askin' me?" Eris snapped, spittle flying from her mouth and hitting Ares.

"Say it, don' spray it," Ares giggled while swiping a hand over his face.

"Fuck you!"

"Okay," Ares replied, grabbing Eris by the arm and dragging her off towards the temple's private chambers. Still out of it, Eris tagged along obediently.

End Part Two

Part Three.

*****************

Back at the ranch...um...I mean Ares' bedchamber...

Finished with his confession...tale...whatever the hell you'd call it, Ares reluctantly looked at Joxer. All through the story Joxer had remained quiet. This worried Ares.

Finally, Joxer spoke up. "Are you telling me that not only are you Strife's uncle, but you're also his father?"

"Well, you see, that's the funny part," Ares almost, but not quite, fainted at Joxer's look. //Damn these pregnancy hormones!//

Getting impatient for the point of this story, Joxer snapped, "Well?"

Ares flinched. "Well, after we...uh...copulated..."

"'Copulated'?" Joxer interrupted.

"Yeah, you know, *fucked*."

"Oh."

"Anyway, after we did...that, we went back to our temples the next day, like nothing happened."

Joxer tried being serious about what Ares was telling him, but he just couldn't help himself. "Gee, how romantic."

"Look, do you want me to finish telling you or not, 'cause I'd much rather be screwing you into the middle of next week than reliving my past," Ares snapped, giving Joxer a glare that could make a mortal man burst into flames.

"Well, ex *cuse* me for living!" Joxer snapped right back.

Ares closed his eyes and sighed. He *really* needed to talk to Apollo about giving him something to stop all these damn mood swings he was having. Moving into Joxer's personal space, Ares reached out and hugged him. "I'm sorry, okay. I just wanted to finish so I could be with you."

Hearing Ares apologise, Joxer relented. "No, no. *I'm* sorry. I shouldn't keep interrupting you. I...damn," Joxer said before he leaned forward and brushed his lips gently against Ares'.

Ares moaned, pulling Joxer closer towards himself. Wanting to deepen the kiss, Ares snaked out his tongue, brushing it across Joxer's lips.

Joxer let himself get pulled closer to his husband, enjoying the feel of Ares' hands running up and down his bare back. Feeling Ares' tongue gliding across his lips, he happily opened them, enjoying the taste and sensations of Ares' hyperactive tongue.

Once Ares gained entry into Joxer's willing mouth, he proceeded to hungrily swipe his tongue along Joxer's own.

They remained standing, both butt naked, enjoying the feel of the other's body.

Now, thoroughly and completely in the mood for some good loving, Joxer walked Ares backwards until he felt Ares bump into the bed.

Ares was only vaguely aware of being moved in the direction of the bed. When he felt the backs of his legs hit the edge of the bed, he cautiously sat down...he didn't want to fall off...and pulled Joxer even closer towards his body.

As Joxer was pulled forward, he settled himself on top of his husband, alternating between kissing his lips and kissing his neck.

While Joxer was occupying his time with kissing, Ares brought his hands down to Joxer's ass and pulled him towards his awakening erection. At the contact, both men gasped in pleasure.

Joxer began rocking his hips back and forth, grinding his pelvis against Ares.

Ares tore his lips away from Joxer's long enough to say, "Need you...inside me...please."

Joxer nodded his head in agreement as he slowly got up onto his knees beside Ares. "We need oil."

Smiling, Ares prepared them both with a thought. At Joxer's bemused look, Ares moaned. "Now. I need you now."

Slowly, Joxer grabbed hold of Ares' legs and gently lifted them up. He then pushed Ares' legs towards his chest.

Ares quickly bent his legs at the knees and held them there tightly. Joxer stopped a moment to gaze down at his husband. Ares looked *so* damn *hot* laying there, all splayed out and whimpering with need. Taking pity on his poor husband, Joxer leaned forward, placing his hands on either side of Ares' head. Joxer then began to move slowly up and down Ares' prone body, sliding his slick cock along the cleft of Ares' ass.

Ares continued to whimper, pleading to his husband to do more. He wanted Joxer's cock inside him *now* damnit! Still holding his legs, Ares timed his hips to coincide with Joxer's next slide, when he suddenly found himself deliciously filled.

"Oh, Gods," Joxer breathed out when he felt himself slide into Ares' hot opening. Joxer began to slowly thrust in and out of his willing husband's body.

End Part Three.

Part Four.

Ares wrapped his legs around Joxer's waist, pulling him further into his body. He gasped loudly once Joxer was fully inside.

Joxer ceased all movement, thinking he had hurt Ares. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Ares smiled encouragingly up at Joxer. "Yeah, I'm fine. But I think you might have poked an eye out," Ares giggled, making Joxer's cock vibrate inside of him.

Still nestled inside of his husband, Joxer moaned as his cock wobbled slightly. Sighing, he raised an eyebrow at his spouse. "Ares, I may be a tad larger than most men, but my cock's not *that* big."

Ares giggled some more. "Well, duh! I could just picture it if you were.

You'd have to go around with your cock tied to the side of your leg."

Joxer let loose a bark of laughter at that mental picture. Taking deep breaths, Joxer light-heartedly glared at Ares. "Ya know, you're killing the mood here."

"Sorry," Ares replied, a pout forming.

Joxer leaned down and licked the pout away. Gods, how he just *loved* those lips! Feeling himself harden once more; Joxer pulled back until just the head of his erection remained inside then snapped his hips forward.

"Argh!" Ares screamed. "Damn, Joxer! Warn a guy before you do that!"

"What? This?" Joxer asked, repeating his previous thrusting.

Ares just moaned and wrapped his legs tighter around Joxer. Joxer continued from where he had left off, thrusting slowly into Ares' writhing body. Soon, Joxer began pounding frantically into his husband's body, angling his thrusts to hit Ares' sweet spot.

As Ares' prostate was being savagely pounded on, he finally couldn't take any more and came with a shout; shooting his seed all over his and Joxer's bellies.

Joxer gasped as he felt Ares' internal muscles clamp down onto his cock, sending him over the edge and into oblivion. Once he had finished emptying himself, he collapsed bonelessly onto Ares.

When Ares began to fidget under him, Joxer moved himself slowly onto the unoccupied side of the bed. "I think I pulled something," Joxer murmured with a groan. When he didn't get a response from Ares, he turned his head to face him. "Ares?"

A light snore was his answer.

"Hrmph! I do all the work and *he* falls asleep." Reaching down to grab at the sheets, Joxer tried pulling them up to cover himself. Only a massive weight hindered his progress. "What the...?"

Sitting up with a groan of pain, Joxer saw what had been keeping him from accomplishing his task. "Ares. Hey, Ares! Move, will ya! You're laying on the damn sheets!"

Ares continued snoring away.

Getting irritated, Joxer pushed at Ares...hard. "*Ares*!"

"What!?" Ares yelled, sitting bolt upright in bed.

"Get your big ass off the damn sheets!" Joxer growled, yanking on the sheets for emphasis.

"Ya mind not scaring the immortal life out of me? I could have gone into labor!" Ares snarled sleepily.

"Uh, Ares? You're only a week pregnant," Joxer replied, giving his husband a strange look.

End Part Four.

Part Five.

"So? Anyway, here." Ares moved and grabbed the sheet from underneath him, handing it to Joxer. "Now, I'm going back to sleep."

"Not yet you're not," Joxer said as he pulled Ares closer towards himself.

Ares let himself be moved and glared at Joxer. "And why not?"

"Because you haven't finished telling me about you and Eris."

"Fine," Ares sighed. "It seems she found out she was pregnant about two weeks later, but wasn't sure who the father was." At Joxer's questioning look, Ares explained further. "From what she told me, she had gone and slept with another man. I'm not sure when that happened since she was supposed to be working at the time, but that's what she said. I have my suspicions though."

Joxer snuggled closer to his husband. "So, why didn't you check to see if he was or wasn't actually your son? You guys can do that, can't you?"

"Yes, we can, but it's a major pain in the ass to do so. Besides, I didn't want to have to owe Apollo any favors."

"I see. You two would rather never know than owe one little favor to a fellow God, who is also your brother?" Joxer asked, beginning to fall asleep himself. He *had* worn himself out after all.

Ares snorted. "Little favor indeed. Joxer you haven't been around Gods much, have you? Gods never owe just a 'little' favor. For all I know, Apollo could have made me sing along with him or help him heal some sick mortal."

"Gods forbid you actually help a sick mortal," Joxer replied sarcastically.

"Okay, look," Ares started, growling low in his throat with irritation.

"When our honeymoon is over, I'll go see Apollo and have him discretely check Strife for any sign of my background, okay?"

Joxer snored lightly until Ares elbowed him. "Wha? Huh? Oh, yeah. Sounds like a plan to me. Good night, Ares."

Ares sighed in exasperation. "Night, Joxer."

*****************

Back at the party and *oh* what a party it is too...

Aphrodite and Hephaestus remained sitting on a bench, watching the other partygoers continue to dance.

Xena and Gabrielle had decided to stop their dancing since they kept getting stares every time an upbeat song came out of the strange black device sitting on one of the unoccupied benches.

Many people were ever so grateful for that bit of good news.

Currently, a slow song was playing, and Cupid and Strife weren't really dancing, swaying to the beat of the music would have been a correct assessment of their situation.

Eris was still standing off to the side with no one to dance with. She wasn't all that surprised really. No one even knew about her true nature except for those associated with the House of War and maybe a few others.

Apollo had gone back to his temple on Mount Olympus with a really *hot* looking muse. He had no idea what her name was and liked it that way just fine. Course, he wasn't too sure what the muse thought of that, but personally, he really didn't care as long as he got some later.

******************

As the party started to wind down, many of the guests had begun to depart.

Aphrodite finally got up off the bench, stretching her body as she did so.

Those benches were really hard on a soft, curvy body such as her own.

"Hephy, I'll be right back. I want to go say goodbye to Cupie and Strifey."

Hephaestus looked up from the blade of grass he was currently twirling around in his hands. "Okay, Dite. I'll wait here till you get back."

Aphrodite smiled down at her husband and limped her way towards her babies.

She *really* needed to replace those benches! Preferably with something softer and pinker. Grey was just *so* not the in color these days.

End Part Five.