Title: In the Company of Men
Author: tejas
Fandom: Stargate SG1
Pairing: Jack/Daniel, AUJonathan/AUDaniel, Jack/Others, Daniel/Others, AUDaniel/Others
Summary: The NID "failed" to destroy the quantum mirror. SG1 do a little research with it and learn what might have happened had Nirrti come in ships before the SGC got off the ground.
Archive: Mpreg, Alpha Gate, Area52, All Daniel Fic
Rating: NC-17
Parts: 18
Status: Complete
Series: no
Website: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Sci Fi Channel, Showtime/ Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement whatsoever is intended. The story is for entertainment purposes only. The original characters, situations and story are mine. Please check with me first if you want to archive or link to this story.
Authors notes & Warnings: Double slash (//) indicates italics. Spoils everything up to and including Fallout in S7. I have a bad habit of saying "Oh, geez, I'd never write about *that*" only to end up thinking, "but if I was going to..." and then diving in. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Contains: Male polyandry (one man, many husbands). There's some sorta non-con, though all the participants are, ahem, up for it at the time. ;-) There's also some sorta partner betrayal, but again, it wasn't intentional, nor was it avoidable. Discussions of past widespread infanticide and mention of past miscarriages. Mention of past mass suicides (no specifics given). Mention of past child abuse/neglect. Past AU character deaths.

Daniel leaned back in his chair, rubbed his eyes and tried to will away his headache. The bright morning sun streaming through the wide windows stabbed into his head like hot knives. The shadow cast by the stone ring standing in his garden wasn't enough to ease the brilliance.

He tossed his glasses onto the cluttered desk. They teetered for a moment on the edge of a stack of yellowed computer printouts before sliding slowly down between the stack and a copy of Elston's Book of the Dead. He wasn't using that for his research, but more for the pleasure of having an old friend always in sight. A comfort in a world with fewer comforts than he'd expected. His glasses didn't seem to help much these days anyway, but the odds of being able to get a stronger pair weren't looking good. The glassmakers hadn't been able to work them into their schedule the last time he'd asked and he doubted their production line was in any better shape now. Still, he'd ask again. He was close to finding out what they needed, what //he// needed, to know, but he needed to be able to work for longer stretches and that was getting to be impossible. Other... duties aside, the almost constant eye strain coupled with the resulting headaches kept his research confined to only a few hours a day. He couldn't even take a painkiller since it interacted poorly with what he'd already had to take this morning.

Duty. Daniel grimaced at the thought of his afternoon's 'schedule'. He had three 'appointments' scheduled and would most likely be unfit for anything else afterward. He never had been before and there was no reason to think today would be any different. It didn't matter that it was killing him by inches. He had his duty. Duty to his family. Duty to his House. Duty to his world. He didn't have the luxury of having any duty to himself. Daniel flung himself out of his chair and angrily paced his office, letting the rage always simmering deep inside surface. He had to burn some of it off before the afternoon. It wasn't their fault and he'd be damned before he'd approach them with less than tenderness. They deserved it. None of them had asked for this... this //abomination// that had been forced on them.

"Niriti!" Daniel growled the name of the source of his rage as he picked up the small statue of her that sat on his desk. He hefted it wishing for the thousandth time it was the neck of his long-dead antagonist so he could crush it himself.

"Go ahead. Throw it. Might make you feel better." Daniel whirled in place to see his First Consort leaning carefully on the now open door of his office. "I never have understood why you keep it. It just keeps pissing you off."

Daniel closed his eyes, swallowed then took a deep breath and then another in an almost successful attempt to calm himself. "It helps keep me focused. I want to make sure I know exactly where my anger should be directed." With studied calm, Daniel walked to his desk and carefully set the statue back in its place.

His Consort nodded. This was an old conversation. "You don't want any of this to spill over onto those youngsters this afternoon."

Daniel turned his back on the doorway and leaned heavily over his desk listening to the slow footsteps approaching. "I can't do this any more, love. It's killing me. God! You must hate me. How can you bear to be in the same room with me?"

With an ill-concealed grunt, his Consort sat heavily on the edge of the desk next to where Daniel stood. "As to how I can bear to be in the same room with you, and that's a lousy pun, by the way, it's easy. I love you. Which also deals with the next part. Since I love you, it's obvious I don't hate you. What's more, I don't think I ever //could// hate you." Daniel started to speak, but a raised finger stopped him. "Let me finish, love." The finger lowered and a strong hand rested gently on Daniel's curved back before beginning a soothing massage. "Yes, I know what this is doing to you. I see it every damned time and it kills a little bit of me, too, since I can't do anything to protect you from it."

Daniel let the soft words wash over him and felt the rage loosen its grip just a little. Just like always. Someone forgave him his crimes, though no one but him seemed to see them as such. He could see them as nothing else.

"And, finally," the soft voice continued, "Yes, you can do it. Just like I do what I have to. What we all have to. This isn't the world we wanted, but it's the one we've got." Daniel finally looked up and met the warm brown eyes looking at him with such tenderness. The same tenderness he needed to find in himself and use on others.

"I don't deserve you, you know." A small smile threatened to emerge and he tried to let it. Maybe it would stifle the tears he felt building. The medicine always put him on an emotional rollercoaster for the first few hours. It would settle by the time he needed it to.

"Actually, I think you do deserve me." Warm arms pulled Daniel into a much-needed embrace. "After all, you're the heir to the House of Jackson, one of the few fertile men in this district..."

"A //stallion.//" Daniel spat the hated epithet out.

"Well, if you mean hung like a horse, you'll get no argument from me, but as I was saying. You're all mine." Daniel pulled his love as close as he could and ran his free hand over the swollen belly keeping them from the kind of embrace he wanted.

"Not all yours, love. In a few hours I have to go..." Daniel couldn't get the rest of the sentence past the lump in his throat.

"You have to go and do your part to try and keep our species from dying out. Just as I do my part." Daniel tensed and then cursed himself silently for it. "I know, love, I know I've only had to do it six times and then only with the man I love." Daniel smiled at the declaration and softly kissed the beloved face before him. "You've had to be with more partners than you can probably remember and you always think I'm going to hate you for it."

Daniel hid his face against the shoulder nearest him and nodded in response.

"What you don't seem to ever remember is that the parts of you that matter most to me //are// all mine." Gentle fingers at his chin raised Daniel's head so he was looking once more into those beloved brown eyes. A nod of the head indicated the statue of Niriti. "Your body now belongs to humanity, but you only truly share your heart and soul with me."

Daniel felt the last of his earlier rage recede as a calm began to descend on his heart and mind. He knew it was in part due to the progress of the drug that would allow him to 'perform' properly in a few hours, but mostly it was due to the one in his arms right now. Daniel felt a chuckle bubble up from somewhere, "Humanity? That's a little..." his head shook slightly from side to side as he searched for the right word.

"Eloquent?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of pompous."

"Hey, I'm pregnant. The baby ate my brain."

Daniel smiled as he kissed his love. "Ah, my mistake. I can see how that could be a problem."

"Oh, you have //no// idea. At least in a few weeks you get to hold him."

"I can't wait. Who knows, maybe this time..." Daniel let the sentence trail off. Neither wanted to voice the hope of every couple since the world they'd known ended. //We really are a superstitious race//, Daniel thought to himself. No one would wish for a girl out loud as if it would curse them. They'd been luckier than most, if it could be called luck to have two daughters born alive only to die within days. Their sons, their beautiful sons, survived, but there were only a handful of girl children in the world. None of them theirs.

Daniel held his love as close as he could and tried to pour all his love into their kiss. He tucked his love's head onto his shoulder and rubbed the tense back as if apologizing for what he'd almost said. "I love you, Jonathan. Never forget that I love you." The old conversation ended as it always did and Daniel knew he would do his duty as he always has. His eyes roamed his office barely seeing the clutter of artifacts and books, everything he could get of what had been found after Niriti died and her army left, until he got to the shrouded item in the corner. Yes, he would do his duty, no matter the cost.

He used to keep it uncovered, fascinated by the image of this same office it reflected, no, he corrected himself, projected. Until the day he looked more closely and realized that one of the windows in what he now knew was another room entirely was broken and there were leaves gathering on the floor. He'd never yet seen any people in it, which was eerie enough when he was standing in front of it, and thought it just an odd mirror. He'd ordered storm shutters installed on all the windows in the house that day. He'd tried to get someone to come look at the mirror like artifact, but with only half the population left alive everyone with any scientific bent was dedicated solely to solving the problem of simply surviving. He and a handful of others were the only ones trying to delve into the whys and wherefores of what had happened. Somehow he knew the room he saw was somewhere else and it belonged to another Daniel Jackson. A Daniel who made, or had made for him, different choices, choices that left his home empty and possibly his entire world. Perhaps he would remove the dark cloth covering the mirror one day and see what time had brought to that other place. But not today. For now, he couldn't bear the thought of a world without his love, his sons, himself.

Daniel pulled away just enough to kiss his Consort, no, his husband. The others were Consorts, men he'd married and given sons according to the new laws. He felt affection for them, but not love, not the love he felt for the man in his arms. As hard as it was to bring other men into his household it was easier than the parade of strangers brought to him to... service.

"Time to go?" Jonathan's hand cradled his face and Daniel nuzzled into it, grateful for the comfort offered.

"Yes, the first one... Jeffery, will be here in a bit. I need to get ready."

"Take off. I'll have dinner brought to our room when you're done."

Daniel gave him a quick smile, a last hug and then strode off to do his duty with the haunting image of leaves blowing across his office floor still in his mind.

~*~

CHAPTER 2

Jonathan awoke with a start. It was late. The bedroom was draped in late afternoon shadows. The fire was low, but the evening chill hadn't settled in yet. The barest hint of a spicy scent lingered in the air. He smiled when he realized someone must have come in while he slept and lit a bit of the incense he loved. Jonathan had been very tired when he laid down for his nap, but he didn't think that had been there then. //Bet it was Ian//, he thought to himself then sighed and stretched a bit. Since the miscarriage, Ian had taken it upon himself to baby Jonathan, at least when Daniel wasn't. It was Ian's way of coping, certainly better than Jonathan's coping mechanism. Putting his fist through walls wasn't particularly useful even if it //was// momentarily satisfying. He shut down that train of thought with practiced ease and stretched, thinking instead how nice it would be to lie there in the soft bed and drift back to sleep, but it was getting late. He just hoped he didn't look as exhausted as he felt.

Jonathan listened to the steady tick-tock from the antique timepiece on the mantel. Too dark to see the face of his grandmother's clock he wished it would chime so he wouldn't have to move to see the time. The clock was one of a few treasured items left from his family. He grinned as a forgotten memory rose to the surface. He'd been so embarrassed to take his new lover home with him that first time. He'd never had problems introducing lovers to his family before, but he'd never been with someone so far out of his league. It had taken a while for it to sink in that Daniel wasn't just slumming or that he'd picked Jonathan specifically to annoy the elder Jackson. Daniel had noticed the clock almost immediately and his sincere appreciation of the beautiful piece had broken the ice. Bit by bit, Jonathan's family had finally accepted him as one of their own. When his mother died, he found that the clock had been left to them. He felt his eyes tear up a bit and silently cursed the hormones of late pregnancy. He was glad she'd died before the plague, but he still missed her. From time to time he wondered what she'd think of all this. Her son, her grandchildren. She'd always wanted grandchildren. He ran his hands over his belly and wondered what their boys were up to with their grandfather Jackson. He hoped the old man was making time for them.

The quiet clink of silver on porcelain from the sitting room made the clock redundant. It was //very// late. Beecham was setting their table for the quiet dinner he'd ordered for Daniel and himself. He took what passed for a deep breath these days, and began the laborious process of getting out of bed. Horizontal was what he wanted, but vertical was what he needed. It was just so damned hard these days. But he wanted to be up and about before Daniel got back.

Beecham greeted him in his quiet, formal way when Jonathan finally emerged from the bedroom, "Good evening, sir. May I get you something or call one of the other Gentlemen?"

Poor Beecham. He was of the old school and while he adapted to anything thrown at him, his training had never prepared him for serving in a home where the Lord of the Manor had three Consorts and all of them male. Having apparently picked up on Daniel's distaste for the word, Beecham always referred to his Lordship's Consorts as "the Gentlemen", at least among the household. Jonathan used to have to fight back a laugh every time he heard it but over the years he'd gotten used to it. It was a very small strangeness in an incredibly strange world.

"No, thank you, Beecham, I'm fine." Jonathan wandered to one of the floor to ceiling windows and twitched back the dark heavy drapes enough to stare into the gathering darkness.

"Very good, sir. If there's nothing else, I'll return with dinner when his Lordship's guest departs." Jonathan allowed a quirk of his lips at the almost imperceptible pause before the word "guest". //Good ol' Beecham, this is almost as hard for you, in its own way, as it is for him... for us//.

He let the drapes fall and turned back to the servant. He didn't think he'd ever get the hang of giving orders without looking at the person involved. "That will be fine, Beecham. Thank you." Jonathan watched the older man leave and then found himself alone with his thoughts again. He fussed with the place settings and wished, for the thousandth time since he'd gotten pregnant, for just one beer. He found himself moving things, making noise just to break the silence. Their suite was isolated from the rest of the household and it was easy to imagine there was no one else around. There was just the creak of an old house settling, the clock, the small sounds of the curtains in the breeze, the occasional birdsong. It was their refuge. Daniel's refuge. Even their sons' rooms were on the other end of the long hallway. Once the baby came, the silence would be a distant memory for a while. Jonathan could do with something, anything to break it at the moment. He was usually atypically calm during pregnancy, but not today. He'd seen something earlier, something he should report to Daniel. Something he couldn't, in good conscience, lay in his lap today. Jonathan knew he'd eventually tell him all about it, but not for a bit. He didn't want to think about it at all and toyed with the idea of just forgetting it. Chalk it up to a pregnant man's fantasies and ignore it. He wouldn't, but it was a nice thought for the moment.

Daniel was due back so he busied himself with trivialities in a vain attempt to stop worrying about what the night would bring. Daniel was strong, but days like today left him depressed and emotionally brittle. Once he came down off the fertility drug, he'd need contact. During the process, it was like walking through a minefield. Jonathan gasped and stiffened as the baby turned head butting his lungs in the process.

"Kinda restless today, huh, kiddo? Me, too." He continued to rub his swollen abdomen and relaxed as the baby inside turned again to follow the movement. That was probably the coolest thing about being pregnant. Something he'd never expected. Not that he'd ever, in his wildest dreams expected to be pregnant. What man had? When he'd first been selected as a likely candidate for the procedure, Jonathan had been horrified. Paternal gestation they called it. He'd already been reeling with the discovery that he was one of the hundreds of millions of men left sterile by Compton's virus. His problems didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things. Women, regardless of age, had had it even worse. Janis Compton's discovery of the nature of the virus had been her last discovery before succumbing like every other human female on the planet. What a horrible thing to be famous for. His selection seemed like the final in a long series of insults. That someone had engineered a plague to kill the human race in such a vicious fashion seemed impossible, but there it was. And, so, here he was. At the beginning, after he'd finally agreed to go through with it, Daniel had teased him about being the mother of his race. Jonathan smiled at the memory. Daniel had been so young then. In darker moments, Jonathan privately decided that Daniel was aging in dog years. A quick smile flickered across his face. It didn't reach his eyes. Not a thought he'd ever share with his husband.

Husband. That's another impossibility he'd had to get used to. Being attracted to men wasn't new, but it's amazing how a plague followed by an alien invasion, however brief, can change what people consider important enough to worry about. //And here I'd thought I'd never be a father//. Jonathan chuckled at the irony and the baby kicked in response.

"Sorry 'bout that, kiddo. Can't wait for you to meet your Dad, though, you're getting heavy." The doctor would be by in the morning to check his progress and look in on Ian. He figured he had another few weeks yet, though according to Jose's baby pool most of the household thought it would be sooner. His... he never was quite sure what to call Jose and Ian. Nicholas and Patrick called them uncle and their sons called him the same. Officially, they were Daniel's Consorts, sort of co-husbands, though that term was frowned on in Daniel's class. Privately, they thought of themselves as brothers-in-law. It was more familiar, more comfortable. Though Jose and Ian were closer than any brothers-in-law Jonathan had ever known. He smiled. He and Daniel had skirted the edge of polite society before things went to hell, why should now be any different. Daniel didn't mind and subtly encouraged their private arrangements. He'd never said, but Jonathan figured it explained why he'd been so steadfast in his refusal to take on any more Consorts. There were rumors about how other heads of household dealt with their Consorts, especially those who used the fertility drugs full time. It was hard to tell how much was rumor and how much was fact, but if Daniel thought seven sons between them in six years were plenty, none of his "Gentlemen" would argue the point. The four of them had worked things out in what might otherwise be an intolerable situation. Daniel, hell, none of them, wanted to rock the boat. But the fallout, coupled with Daniel's innate sense of fairness, was more days like today than most men in Daniel's position had to put up with. Jonathan sighed and started to rearrange the sideboard to avoid the inevitable guilt that thought brought. The additional thought of Beecham exuding polite disapproval when he returned brought his hands back to his sides. Instead he settled heavily in an armchair with his feet up, wishing, again, for a beer.

A short while later, the clock chimed the half-hour and started Jonathan out of the light doze he'd achieved. Dozing beat worrying about the night to come and the conversation he needed to initiate eventually. At least the exhaustion was proving stronger than the tension. Almost immediately came Beecham's soft, distinctive knock on the door. The mouth-watering aroma of roast chicken preceded both cart and man and set Jonathan's stomach rumbling. Make that exhaustion with a side order of hunger over tension.

"His Lordship will join you momentarily, sir."

"Thank you, Beecham." Jonathan watched the man set out covered dishes on the sideboard and couldn't help but hope Daniel showed up before dinner got cold. Beecham finished his task and set the cart out of the way as usual.

"Does sir require anything else?" Before Jonathan could answer, the door flew open and Daniel breezed into the room, heading straight for Jonathan.

"That will be all, Beecham." Daniel's voice was steady and controlled, "You can clear away in the morning." A soft seductive smile on his face, he knelt next to Jonathan's chair, taking one of his husband's hands in his own, the other caressed Jonathan's distended belly through his loose shirt. Daniel's excited, overly bright eyes never left Jonathan's as he continued, "Please inform Ian and Jose that we will not be joining them for breakfast." Jonathan lifted his eyebrows in a silent question. They always had breakfast together as a family, even the children. Given their various duties to the household and the town, it was the only meal of the day when everyone who was in town was guaranteed to be home.

"Very good, your Lordship. If there's nothing else, I'll wish you both good evening."

"Thank you, Beecham." Jonathan spoke only to the older man's back as he closed the door.

Daniel gave up Jonathan's hand in favor of running his hand through his love's hair then pulling him in for a deep, passionate kiss. Jonathan's arms automatically embraced the other man. The position made it somewhat awkward, but not awkward enough to miss the shivers running through his husband. Daniel didn't seem to notice as he all but devoured the man now in his arms.

"God, love, I missed you today." Jonathan nuzzled the other man's neck and felt a moment's hope that maybe this evening wouldn't be so bad. It seemed the drugs had already started to wear off. "You would have been so proud of me, today."

"I'm always proud of you, Daniel. You're incredible." Hope died quickly.

"I need you, babe. I need you so bad." Daniel stood gracefully then helped Jonathan out of his chair and more securely into his arms. "Want to touch you." Daniel's hands slipped under the loose shirt to roam harshly over Jonathan's upper body, kissing and nibbling a little too roughly along his face and neck and moaning deep in his throat. "Need to taste you. Need to feel you under me, around me. Need to bury myself in your sweet body." Daniel's voice rumbled in his chest and despite the rougher than usual treatment, Jonathan couldn't have stopped his body from responding even if he'd wanted to. They enjoyed roughhousing on occasion, but this wasn't the time. Not with the baby so near // his// time.

Jonathan ran a hand through Daniel's silky hair and nuzzled his cheek, "Soon love, soon."

"Tonight, baby. Gonna make love to you all night long." Daniel's hand slid down inside the loose pants over Jonathan's belly until he touched the hard cock underneath. He licked Jonathan's ear as he pulled on his cock whispering. "Gonna make you come so hard, so good, then gonna bury myself balls deep and never come out." Jonathan swallowed hard and started to push away from the too rough hands on him.

"Daniel, wait. We can't. You know..."

Daniel's impatient growl interrupted him as he pulled him closer, "//Yes//! You're // mine// and I'll have you when and how I want!" He latched onto Jonathan's neck, biting him painfully, apparently marking his territory.

"Stop!" Grasping hands released him and Jonathan staggered back a step, nearly stumbling over the chair he'd been sitting in. He put his hand to his neck and then saw Daniel's face. All traces of arousal gone, Daniel was panting and sweating. His eyes were wide with fear and there was a smear of blood on his lips. Jonathan looked at his hand and swore. He dabbed the spot again, fortunately it didn't seem to be bleeding too badly. Damn, how much had the man taken today.

"Oh, god. Oh, god. I hurt you. Oh, god, love, I hurt you." Daniel backed away scrubbing at his mouth and babbling. "I'm sorry, so sorry. I hurt you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Daniel, love, it's okay. See, it's stopped." Jonathan approached him slowly and reached out to hold him. "It was an accident. It's okay, love."

"No, no, no." Jonathan stopped and watched Daniel back away from him, shaking his head and trembling. "It's not okay. I hurt you, that's //never// okay!" Daniel shouted. He'd stopped backing up and Jonathan could see the rage building. "Get //away// from me! You know better than to come near me! How stupid are you? Why are you even here!" Daniel all but ran to the door and threw it open, gesturing angrily and shouting. "Get out! Get the hell out of here! I don't want you here!"

Jonathan stood his ground. This was worse than usual, but they'd been doing this dance far too long for him not to know all the steps. He just had to be sure to be out of reach during the rages. Ordinarily, he could handle anything the other man threw at him, but he wasn't quite at his best at the moment. He didn't really think Daniel would hurt him or the baby, but other man was clearly not himself and it wouldn't hurt to be cautious. He took a deep breath and spoke, keeping his voice calm and even. "Why don't you close the door and join me for dinner, love?" He stepped over to the sideboard as he spoke and calmly started taking covers off the dishes.

"Fuck you! Oh, wait. I can't, can I!" Daniel slammed the door and Jonathan relaxed a little. First hurdle over. He proceeded to ignore the angry muttering behind him, just making sure he was aware of the other man's location. Daniel often ordered him out of the room when he was like this, but Jonathan prided himself on never leaving. The counselors had taken them through this and as out of control as Daniel seemed right now, he'd always said he knew Jonathan would never go. It would be dangerous for him to be alone through this. If Jack had to be away on Council business, Ian or Jose, or both of them, could step in, but neither Daniel nor Jonathan wanted that. The other two men didn't have the same history with Daniel and Jonathan knew he feared screwing up his relationship with them if they had to bear the brunt of his "chemically induced psychosis" as he called it. This was why some men stayed on the drugs constantly. Smaller doses, over time achieved the same results, but Daniel hated the thought of being dependent on them. He also had a great deal more control that other men. For some, it meant preventing a murder.

Jonathan filled plates for the two of them, certain that Daniel hadn't eaten this afternoon. He probably wouldn't be able to finish everything on his own plate, but damn, not even the gut wrenching tension of the evening could compete with late pregnancy hunger. He hoped he could get through the night without monster heartburn. A chair scraped loudly over the polished wood floor behind him and he turned as Daniel dropped heavily into it. He sat sprawled by the table drumming his fingers impatiently. Jonathan ignored the glower and continued muttering and placed the plate on the table in front of the man who apparently considered himself Lord and Master. Lord he could accept as an accident of birth, but Master was another matter. Taking his own seat, he started to eat and waited for the next move in their dance. He already knew it would end in their bed with Daniel sobbing in his arms and pleading for forgiveness. Jonathan always told him there was nothing to forgive. This was a temporary aberration. It would pass. He only wished Daniel could bring himself to believe that.

~*~

CHAPTER 3

After a long morning doing battle with his inbox, Jack O'Neill was a man with a mission. He strode down the corridors of the SGC with personnel scattering before him. He had one thought on his mind. Lunch. He was, ordinarily, a brave man, but the thought of facing that particular ordeal on his own was enough to make him toy with the idea of diving right into the Quarterly Projected Resource Allocations for Research and Development. All three volumes of it. On second thought, he'd decided he'd go into this battle as he had many others, with his team at his back. Jack doubted even Teal'c could save him from the special of the day, but, hey, misery loves company.

"Hey, kids!" Jack whipped into Carter's lab to find Daniel and Teal'c facing away from the door and standing on either side of Carter, looking over her shoulder at something.

"Oh, hey, Jack." Daniel turned nervously around to face Jack while the other two offered their own greetings without turning around, which was fine with Jack. If Carter was in the middle of something that might go boom, he didn't want to know. Daniel walked closer to Jack and started to lean against the worktable, then changed his mind and shoved his hands in his pockets. "How's things?" Jack noted the nervous body language, the too innocent expression and after applying his many years of reading people and those spent reading Daniel in particular he came to the inescapable conclusion that he was hiding something.

"Daniel?" He was sure the sound he heard wasn't Carter stifling a giggle. Majors don't giggle.

"Jack?" Ah, and there were the blinking eyes and the forced innocent expression. It was a good thing Daniel could take more punishment than half the Marines on base because he was lousy at unplanned subterfuge. It was a forgone conclusion that any System Lord worth his salt would always know right off the bat that Daniel was lying about something and whip out the ribbon device. Or maybe he just knew the man well enough to tell. No matter what, this was too much thinking after his morning with the threat of the commissary still looming before him. Talk about torture.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Oh, y'know, nothing much." Daniel kept his eyes on Jack, trying to keep Jack's eyes on him. The trick probably worked great on terrified undergrads, but no so much on Air Force Colonels. "Sam had this, uh, this thing, she wanted us to look at..." Daniel waved a hand and looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"Thing? She has a thing?"

"I believe Daniel Jackson refers to the device brought back by SG11 from P4X-735. Major Carter requested our assistance in deciphering some of the markings found on the casing." Teal'c joined Daniel, completely blocking Carter from view. Pre-ascension Daniel hadn't taken up nearly that much room. The two of them formed a nice solid wall. A wall that exuded false innocence, Daniel, and placid affability, Teal'c.

"Exactly. Thank you, Teal'c." Daniel all but beamed in relief.

"Ah. Markings." Jack rocked back and forth on his heels, hands in his pockets. He figured they knew he was toying with them. That probably accounted for at least some of Daniel's nervousness. The flipside of his knowing his team so well was that they knew him just as well. Keep messing with their heads or cut to the chase. Delay the inevitable heartburn or stop his stomach from trying to digest itself. Decisions, decisions. A lifetime in the Air Force had taught him how to make decisions and threat assess. At the moment, digesting his own internal organs was a real possibility. The heartburn was at least potentially theoretical. Decision time.

"Oh, Carter." Jack smiled happily at the reaction. Daniel hung his head in defeat and Teal'c looked, well, less placid. "Whatcha got?" Daniel and Teal'c might be able to give him the run around, but rank doth have its privileges.

"Sir, it's a device SG11 found on," Carter appeared next to Teal'c empty handed when Jack cut her off.

"PX-yadda. Yeah, I know. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum said that already." Daniel groaned and Jack decided to cut him a little slack. "Teal'c there's no way in hell I'm going to try and explain Lewis Carroll to a jaffa on an empty stomach."

"Indeed, O'Neill. I look forward to your explanation after you have eaten." Teal'c nodded in a way that told Jack toying with his team might not end up being as much fun as it seemed at the time. They each had their own ways of extracting revenge. Some of which included PowerPoint. What was he thinking? Of course it was fun, but the best things came a price.

"Lunch! Jack, that's a great idea!" Daniel looked like he'd just won the lottery or found the only existent copy of some book nobody ever heard of. Probably the book. "I'm hungry. Teal'c, Sam? You hungry? Why don't we..." Jack grabbed Daniel's arm as he started to pass him on his way out the door and dragged him to his side.

"So, Carter, care to show me your undoubtedly fascinating device? You know how much I just love alien tech." Fun was fun, but this was getting ridiculous. What could they possibly have that they don't want him to see?

"Of course, sir." Carter disappeared behind Teal'c then reappeared with something oddly familiar in her hands.

"Carter? Is that what I think it is?" The device looked curiously like the mirror controller, but not quite exactly. The one they used to have before it was destroyed at Area 51.

"If you think it looks like the mirror controller, we agree." Jack's teammates kept glancing guiltily at each other and then looking away. Apparently the doorframe fascinated Teal'c while Daniel seemed to be divining the secrets of the universe from the concrete floor, arms wrapped around his midsection. Carter had plastered her 'nothing-to-see- here' smile on her face and kept looking back and forth between her partners in crime and the device in her hands.

"Tell me they didn't bring a mirror back, too!" Damn! As if a 'gate open to one hostile universe wasn't enough, that damn mirror opened the door to an infinite number of hostile universes. He knew how he'd use it, if he were a megalomaniacal snake. Or a Destroyer of Worlds. Or any of the other power-mad aliens they'd run into over the years.

"Oh, no, sir. They didn't find a mirror, just the controller, which, if you'll notice is a little different than the one we had. If you look at this section here..." Amazing how fast Carter's mood improved when given the opportunity to confuse him. She was as bad as Daniel. He expected Teal'c to confuse him, what with being an alien and all.

"Aht! I don't want to know. As long as there's no mirror within five hundred light years of it and Earth, I'm a happy man." Jack checked the faces of his team. He didn't like what he saw. Something bigger than a new and improved controller was up. "Not a happy man?"

Carter glanced at the Tweedles and received a nod from Teal'c and a resigned shrug from Daniel. "No, sir. Not a happy man." She turned and led him to the back of her lab. There, on the floor was an open crate lying flat with something he'd never wanted to see again in it.

"That's..." Jack couldn't say it. How many times was this kind of crap going to come back to bite them in the butt?

"Yes, sir, that's the mirror we recovered from P3R-233."

"Are you nuts?" He couldn't believe it. "It was supposed to be destroyed. Know anything about that, Carter?" She looked like a kicked puppy. He knew she wasn't involved, but damnit, she was a Major in the Air Force, his subordinate. She shouldn't be leaving him in the dark on this kind of stuff. It would do her good to sweat a bit.

"Jack! How can you think Sam would be involved in something like that?" Daniel's nervousness was gone, his protective streak rose with a vengeance in its place. Jack let his choice of words slide. They knew each other far too well.

"Daniel! It's in her lab. It's here without my knowledge. What am I supposed to think!" Before Daniel could take up the challenge, Jack continued. "And don't think I've forgotten about you two." He jabbed a finger at Daniel. "You know better than anyone how dangerous this thing is," then jabbed at Teal'c, "and Teal'c knows better than to leave me in the dark on matters that could compromise the security of the whole damn planet!"

"Jack!" Daniel had apparently taken up the gauntlet after all. "It's done! It's here and this is important."

"It's always important, Daniel! Why am I the only one freaked about this?"

"Jack, we were freaked, too." Jack recognized Daniel in the 'lets be friends and not kill each other mode' he used off world. Didn't always work there, either. "But we've had a few days to get used to the idea. Besides..." Jack cut him off.

"A few days? Just when were you planning on telling me about this? When some snake even worse than the ones we know and love decided on a little trans-dimensional conquest?" Jack knew he was beginning to rant, but the whole alternate universe thing freaked him out big time. It was too big and too uncontrollable.

"Besides," Daniel apparently decided to ignore his rant and finish what he'd tried to say earlier. "According to what Sam found out from Area 52, there's a very simple way of keeping anyone from coming through." Daniel's hopeful expression lured him in. Jack sighed. He was toast.

"Enlighten me." Carter's turn at the plate.

"Well, sir, it seems that when the NID neglected to destroy the mirror," Even Teal'c raised an eyebrow at Daniel's muttered "like that's a surprise". Carter glanced at him and then continued, "They started studying it with an eye toward finding some way to secure it."

"An iris." Jack had to admit that he'd thought of that five, or was it six, years ago. Time flies.

"Right. But the material of the mirror, plus the inability to transmit through it like we can through an iris secured wormhole made that impractical if exploration teams were to be sent through." Whoa.

"The NID wanted to explore alternate universes?" Everyone else looked as uncomfortable at that thought as he did.

"Yes, sir. At least according to Agent Barrett."

"Ah, yes, Agent Barrett. Handy fellow to have around." Ok, teasing was better. The NID agent's interest in his 2IC had provided endless fodder for teasing over the improved relations between the SGC and the, seemingly rehabilitated NID. The warning glint in Daniel's eye urged him to stay on topic. "So, rogue trans-dimensional NID cells aside, what's this simple method of mirror protection Daniel mentioned."

"You're looking at it, sir." Carter seemed to be fighting back a smile. Daniel didn't even try to hide his grin. Even Teal'c looked less stoic than usual.

"Okay." Jack looked at the mirror. It was still in the shipping crate with the side covering the surface of the mirror removed. "I'm not seein' it, kids."

"Jack, look at it!" Excited Daniel was back. "Remember when you went through it?" Jack tried very hard to forget it, thank you very much. "If you touch it on either side, you travel into the selected universe."

Jack nodded and gave Daniel a 'get on with it' gesture. "And, so, therefore?"

"Jack! Look at it!" This was starting to drive him crazy. He knew Daniel and Carter were way smarter than he was, and Teal'c was no slouch in that department, but he was starting to feel like the one kid in the class who couldn't find the pony in the tree.

"I am looking at it! It's just lying on the floor of Carter's..." Oh. Oh! The others apparently understood he'd gotten it since they all relaxed and started to look somewhat smug. "So, someone tries to come through and what, they just fall back into their own universe?"

"Exactly!" Daniel has sworn he doesn't jump up and down when he's excited, but there it was again. Jack made a note to get a copy of the security footage. He was compiling a tape for future use. One day it would be very useful.

"What if they throw something at the mirror?" Gotcha. The Tweedles and Alice weren't sure about that one. "Y'know, the right angle would put it out of range of the mirror before it fell."

"O'Neill, one would merely have to keep the mirror covered or in a dark room to give a potential enemy no reason to feel the need to attack." Smug was back. There's nothing worse than a smug jaffa. Especially not one Jack couldn't, in good conscience, shoot.

"Right!" Daniel's turn. "When you're dialing the controller, there are so many options, who's going to bother with something that looks like it's at the bottom of a well?"

"Okay." Jack's admission was grudging, but he couldn't fault the logic. "It's better than nothing, but I still don't see why we should bother in the first place." Jack kicked the crate, "That thing is nothing but trouble and I can't really see Hammond authorizing us using it."

"Actually, sir, he probably wouldn't have until SG11 found this and the NID informed us of the error involving the mirror." She held up the new controller. "This controller seems to be a more advanced version than the one we had."

"PIP? Last channel viewed? Parental controls?" Jack mouthed 'sorry' and shrugged at Daniel after Daniel glared at him and whacked him on the arm with the back of his hand. Sometimes things just had to be said.

"Actually, you're not far off." Carter looked like her African violet just offered to virus check her computer. "We think this has a setting that remembers the last universe visited, it also seems to access a wider range of universes than the other model."

"More channels, huh? And that gets us, what?" Jack looked expectantly at his team. The battle was well and truly lost; all that was left was damage control.

"Think about it, Jack!" Carter and Daniel were like stereo speakers with Teal'c chiming in with the bass. And he was still hungry. "The little bit of research we did only showed universes fairly similar to ours."

"Except for the whole post-apocalyptic thing they had going with the snakes." Jack hated to kill anyone's enthusiasm, but reality checks were important.

"Well, yeah, that, but," Remarkably undeterred by reality, as usual, Daniel went on. "The farther we get from our universe the less likely we are to find the same conditions that brought the Goa'uld to power in the first place. It's an opportunity to visit worlds where humans were never enslaved at all. Maybe worlds where the plague never decimated the Ancients driving them to ascend. Maybe even universes where humans never evolved, which means there's potential for permanent research settlements with no danger of cascade tremors. Think of what we could learn!"

Okay, he had to admit, there was some good stuff there. He glanced at Teal'c and got the same look in response. Daniel and Carter were ga-ga over learning crap, as usual. Teal'c had the same concerns he did. He'd have to talk it over with Hammond. After he talked it over with Teal'c.

"I'm hungry. Let's go eat." Ah, that pulled the rug out from under them. A man can only deal with so much weirdness on an empty stomach. You'd think they'd be happy he believed them about the security thing. "C'mon." He gestured for Teal'c to precede him through the door and grabbed Daniel's arm before turning to Carter who was already in the corridor. "Carter!"

"Sir?"

Jack pointed back to her lab. "SFs. Just in case."

She didn't quite roll her eyes, but seemed to recognize the value of the idea. Or just recognized the chain of command. She turned around, smiled the same smile she used when Jacob treated her like a five-year-old and headed back to phone for a security detail. "Save me a seat!"

Daniel stopped and tried to follow Carter. Since Jack still had a handful of his shirt, that was difficult. "I'll just go wait with Sam."

"No, Daniel, you will come with us. If you go back in there with Carter, neither one of you will emerge for hours and even you need to eat once a week or so." Jack kept tugging Daniel along the corridor to the elevator.

"Jack, I don't need you to..."

"Yes, you obviously do. Now stop whining and think of the gourmet delights that await you in the commissary." Jack called the elevator and waited, still retaining control of his captive. Teal'c, once again demonstrated his vast wisdom by staying out of the conflict.

"Gourmet? How about revolting." Daniel freed his arm with a jerk as he walked into the elevator. "And I don't whine!"

"Yadda, Daniel." Jack pressed the button and reflected that even going to lunch with his team was turning out to be as hazardous as going off world. He wondered if he could finagle two weeks' leave before diving into the Quarterly Projected Resource Allocations for Yadda report. Umm... maybe the mirror thing wouldn't be so bad after all. With any luck, there'd be an alien incursion and someone would torch his inbox. With that happy thought, he led his two teammates off the elevator and out to do battle with whatever was masquerading as meatloaf today.

~*~

CHAPTER 4

At the sound of the heavy door opening, Daniel looked up from the books he was sorting through on the newly installed worktable. Jack's suggestion of moving the mirror to one of the isolation rooms made a great deal of sense. Especially given the older man's initial objections to the project. Jack hated what he called passive security and even Daniel had to admit this was better. Still, having to move all of their research material and equipment had been a pain. He glanced over at Sam who was still fiddling with various pieces of electronic equipment. At least all he had to deal with were some of his linguist references. She was still silently fuming over the whatever it was that ended up on the floor in more pieces than it started with.

"For the record," Jack approached the now-standing mirror and walked around it warily as if he expected it to pounce, "I still think this is //nuts//, but since the general and the Joint Chiefs disagree, who am I to argue?"

"Right, Jack. I keep forgetting. You //never// argue with the general." Daniel watched the man watching the mirror then gestured to the P-90 on its strap around his neck as well as the duffle in his hands. "Planning a coup?"

"Just being prepared." Jack tossed a zat from the duffle to Daniel. "I know that you and Pollyanna over there seem to be of the opinion that the two of you can handle whatever comes through there with your charm and good looks, but give me a P-90 and some C4 any day." With one last look at the mirror, he pulled another zat out of his bag and gave it to Sam then turned back to Daniel, "Besides, arguing with the Joint Chiefs is a good way to find myself hip deep in Antarctica. Been there, done that. Like to avoid it again, if possible."

"You'll get no argument from me, sir." Holding her zat, she approached the two men. "Shouldn't Teal'c be here by now?"

"He told me at breakfast that he had some research he wanted to finish before we got started." Daniel frowned. "At the time I thought he meant he was going to go back over our reports, but he did that yesterday, didn't he?"

"Research, Daniel?" Jack looked dubious.

"I hope you have not been waiting long for my arrival." Teal'c entered the room with a slim leather bound book under one arm sealing the containment door behind him.

Jack nodded at the book, "Research, Teal'c?"

"Indeed, O'Neill. I have been investigating the author you mentioned some days ago. I believe reading Through the Looking Glass to be excellent preparation for our mission."

"That's //fiction//, Teal'c and damned annoying fiction at that." Jack glared at Daniel. "You //had// to tell him about it, didn't you?"

"You were the one making Tweedle jokes, Jack." Daniel shifted from one foot to the other and wished they could just get on with it.

"Wasn't it the Taur'i philosopher Samuel Clemens who observed that truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities? Truth isn't." Teal'c looked rather pleased with himself. "Through the Looking Glass is among the strangest things I have yet read of your literature. As such, it should prove invaluable."

Jack grinned, "Your sense of humor's improving."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow in Jack's direction, "My sense of humor has never been in question, O'Neill."

Daniel faked a cough and turned away to hide his amusement. Jack was just too easy sometimes.

"Sir," Sam seemed have fought off her own grin at her commanding officer's expense, "if you're ready, we could get started now."

"Right." Jack gave Teal'c and Daniel one final glare before approaching the darkened mirror, the others followed. "So, let's go over the game plan for the day, kids. Today, we // look//, but don't touch." He caught each of their eyes as he said that. "Right, Daniel?"

"Jack! Why do you automatically assume I'm going to be touching it?" This was getting a little old. No matter how long they did this, Jack still assumed Daniel would be the one to go off half-cocked. As if the others hadn't gotten into the same trouble over the years. "I'm not the one who got an entire library downloaded into my head."

"No, but you //are// the one who pulled an Alice on us way back when." Jack placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder and squeezed. "I just don't want history to repeat itself, okay?"

"So the next time I find myself in the middle of a Goa'uld invasion, I shouldn't bother gathering the necessary intelligence to prevent it happening here?" Daniel regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. He knew what Jack meant, but damn, why did he have to keep harping on that.

Jack shook Daniel's shoulder. "Don't do that. You know what I mean." He leaned closer and lowered his voice, "Besides, I guess I owe you for the Lewis Carroll thing with Teal'c."

Daniel nodded, a half smile on his face, "You better believe it."

"So, Carter?" Jack pulled away and rested his hand on his weapon. "Got your super- duper controller thingy?"

"Yes, sir." Sam stepped up to face the mirror.

"Let's get this show on the road, then, shall we?"

"Wait!" Daniel dashed back to the table where his materials were laid out and picked up his camcorder. "I want to be able to record the images so we can study them later."

"Good thinking, Daniel." Jack waved him up to stand next to Sam. "Whenever you're ready, Major." He took up his position next to Daniel while Teal'c stood next to Sam, weapon pointed at the floor.

"I'm starting at the point where the old controller stopped." With a click and a barely perceptible hum the mirror came to life. The first image was of a blank concrete wall bare inches from the surface of the mirror.

"So, Carter, what would happen if you tried to go through to that?" Jack appeared to be measuring the available distance between the wall and the mirror.

"Well, sir, there are two schools of thought about that." Daniel hoped she'd keep it simple. He didn't think Jack would stand for the kind of explanation she probably // wanted// to give. "Some think that anyone capable of building an interdimensional gateway would also be capable of building in a failsafe that would prevent travel to a place where there wasn't enough room for reintegration." Daniel thought that sounded plausible, Teal'c, as usual, seemed to be soaking it up, probably in case it had tactical value later. Jack just looked bored. "Others agree that there's probably a failsafe of some kind, but that it would remove the stress of holding a traveler in transit by simply reintegrating the parts that would fit the given space and rejecting the rest."

There was a moment of silence while Sam's information sunk in. "//Rejecting//?" Jack visibly shuddered. "That is //so// not an image I needed." Daniel had to agree with him, there. "Next, //please//."

The next few stops were of the same wall before it changed to a storeroom. The storeroom remained for a few more stops and so on. The theory that the new controller allowed for greater granularity seemed to correct. "Sir, I can set the controller to make larger jumps. Perhaps..."

"Do it. I see enough concrete through the day without having to look at someone else's." Daniel paused his camera and checked the charge while Sam fiddled with the controller. He nodded to Sam when he was ready. She began to dial through the universes once again, pausing at each one long enough for them to get a good look and for Daniel to get a clean record of it on his camera. This time, they rarely saw the same image twice. Daniel hoped they'd be able to isolate specific groupings for more detailed study later. They still paused longer from time to time so Daniel or Teal'c could try to identify any writings they found. They could be missing quite a bit, but an overview like this was probably a good way to start. Sort of like doing a site surface survey. From a moving jeep. He shut down that memory and wondered, yet again, why anyone in their right mind would //want// to work in Central America. He'd had nothing but trouble every time he'd been there.

Sam paused at the latest one, "Stop!" Daniel peered through the viewfinder and then paused the camera to look closer at the mirror.

"Well, that's different." Jack joined him at his position closer to the mirror.

"Indeed, O'Neill." Teal'c had also moved closer.

The room on the other side appeared to have been someone's office at one time. The corner of a desk was visible as were bookcases containing almost as many artifacts as it did books. Leaves had drifted in from outside, adding a sense of desolation to the room. What held the attention of three of them was the stargate standing in what looked like the remains of a garden clearly visible through cracked and broken windows. Daniel, however, was captivated by the large painting on display. The man in the formal portrait looked very familiar, but not quite the same as he remembered. He swallowed, realizing who it must be, but Daniel had never seen him at that age. It was like seeing a ghost.

"Daniel?" Sam's voice cut through and brought him back to the here and now. "Are you okay?"

"Umm.. Yeah, I'm umm.. I'm fine, Sam." He needed to tell them. Jack had to have all the intelligence they could gather and while he wasn't sure this would be important, still he had to tell them. To say it. It shouldn't be that hard, but it was.

"Of course you're fine, Danny boy, that's why you're white as a sheet." Jack pulled him away from the mirror and turned Daniel to face him. "I know it must be hard to see all those books sitting there unused, but c'mon, it can't be //that// bad. Besides, I kind of like the idea of using the gate as a sundial."

"What are you talking about, Jack?" He pointed at the mirror again. Oh. Daniel hadn't noticed the gate at all. "Oh. Sorry. Didn't notice that."

"How could you //miss// it?" Jack looked concerned. "C'mon, out with it."

"The um... the portrait on the wall." Daniel gestured vaguely toward the mirror. "I think I, um, I think I recognize the subject." //Okay//, Daniel thought, //I can do this//. Daniel looked at them each in turn and saw that Sam was peering back into the mirror. He heard her catch her breath.

"Is that," She turned back to him, eyes wide, "It is, isn't it?"

"Is //who//?" Jack was starting to sound impatient.

"I think," Daniel swallowed again. "I //think// that's a portrait of my father."

"Daniel Jackson, how can you be certain?" Teal'c studied the mirror again. "Did your father not die when he was very young? The man in the portrait seems to be much too old."

"Apparently, he didn't... there." Now that the moment was over, Daniel started to feel more in control of himself. "My grandfather died before I was born, but I have some pictures. Dad supposedly looked a lot like him and that," he indicated the portrait with a wave of his hand, "looks similar enough, well, to be his son."

They stood in silence for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts while looking at the image provided by the mirror. Daniel had always wondered about those other universes where his life must have gone differently. It was a little disheartening to think that he had to go so far from their current reality to find one where at least his father had lived to late-middle age. He chided himself for that thought. He didn't //know// that was the case, they had so little information about the realities they'd encountered. Perhaps his was the only one where Daniel Jackson had gotten the short end of the stick. Still, this was the first time he'd ever been faced with it so directly.

"So, Daniel," Jack got his attention, "You up for Carter resetting her doohickey and take a closer look around this spot? See what we can see?" Daniel was gratified that Jack seemed to be giving him the choice. This could be rough, but the longer he thought about it, the more curious he became.

"Are you sure, guys? I mean, I don't think this was quite what the Joint Chiefs had in mind when they authorized this." He couldn't decide if he wanted Jack to take the out or not.

"T? Carter? What do you think?" Jack turned to the jaffa.

"The fact that their stargate is located in such a place indicates it is unlikely they have had much contact with the rest of their universe. Further, had an invasion occurred, it is highly unlikely that the building we see would still be standing." Teal'c paused. "Perhaps this is one of the universes where, as Daniel Jackson has suggested, the Goa'uld never came to power at all." Daniel couldn't fault him for that thought. Whatever had caused the building to be abandoned didn't seem related to the gate. Maybe there were other versions with people still around.

"Sir, I must admit that if we're going to explore, meeting up with Daniel's counterpart would be a lot more pleasant than some others I can think of." She had her hand poised over the controller, waiting for the order to make the change.

"Uh, Sam, we don't know that my, um, my counterpart would be there." Daniel had never met himself, if he didn't count the android. It had been weird enough meeting the others.

"Still, even if it was some other member of your family..." Sam trailed off.

Daniel shrugged. "The only one I knew well at all is Nick."

"Ya gotta admit, he //was// right. Go ahead Carter, do your stuff." Daniel nodded to Jack and then turned back to the mirror, bringing his camera up to start recording again. Yeah, he was up for this. He could do this. He realized he should have brought a tripod for the camera. The way his hands were shaking he feared the images would be next to useless.

~*~

CHAPTER 5

Daniel sat at his desk and stared thoughtfully at the shrouded mirror. Ever since Jonathan had confessed what he'd seen, Daniel had had the urge to remove the cover and look into that other place. But after two days, the mirror remained hidden. It would be so easy. Just walk over and take the material in hand and pull. He'd always heeded the warning found with the object. It had warned that touching the surface could be dangerous, but didn't describe how. Or perhaps it did. There was a great deal he hadn't been able to translate yet. So little of the invader's language was as yet understood. //At least by me//, he thought. He'd always wondered a little about the origin of the technology that allowed a species of males to procreate. Had they really developed it on their own in only four years? He had his doubts, but the newly formed Grand Counsel insisted, so he kept silent. Besides, there was a certain irony in using the invaders' own technology to try and undo the damage they'd inflicted. He did think it odd that Niriti had apparently succumbed to her own weapon. There was more to it than they knew; he just wished he could find it.

Daniel shifted in his chair. Letting his mind wander wasn't dealing with the matter at hand. Four days ago, Jonathan had seen the cover on the mirror move as if blown by a breeze. Since Daniel no longer allowed the windows in his office to be opened and the mirror was out of the way of the internal ventilation system that left only one thing he could think of. Something from the other side had caused it. He'd once watched wind blow through that other room but it had no effect on anything on this side. Perhaps he was jumping to conclusions, but he couldn't help feeling that the mirror had reached some other level of activity than he was used to.

Making his decision, Daniel rose from his chair and strode to the mirror. He'd probably see nothing more than a larger accumulation of leaves on that other floor. Maybe an animal's nest or two. Disturbing, but not dangerous. He reached for the drape over the mirror as it started to move just a little. Before it stopped, he grabbed and pulled it down and away revealing the object. Prepared for the usual scene, Daniel was more than shocked to see four people in what looked like a concrete room standing before him. One more shocking than the others. It vaguely registered on him that they were all wearing some kind of uniform. He knew his mouth had fallen open, but couldn't seem to close it. He dropped the shroud and, forgetting the warnings, reached out to touch the face of one of the figures. He felt a jolt of electricity and then the next thing he knew, he was staring at his office. //His// office, not the one usually depicted by the mirror. Daniel felt like he couldn't breathe. He jerked his hand back to his side, staggered backwards and only then realized where he was. Concrete walls. He looked wildly around the room and saw nothing but concrete and one window onto more concrete set high up on a wall. Harsh panting. Voices. There were voices. They were saying something about a doctor. He whipped around to see three of the four people who had been on the other side of the mirror. He looked back and again, saw his empty office.

"It's okay," Daniel didn't think anyone could hear him. He turned back around, cleared his throat and tried again, "You're safe. I'm... I'm not a carrier." Daniel tried to find a reassuring smile to give these people, but suspected he'd failed miserably.

More voices, but they weren't registering as more than noise. All his attention was focused on the woman. Daniel couldn't believe it, couldn't stop staring at her. She was the first woman he'd seen in over a decade. She smiled gently and offered her hand. "Hi, I'm Major Samantha Carter."

Introductions. He could handle introductions. This was something he could do on automatic, which was about all he could handle at the moment. Taking the smaller, seemingly delicate hand in his, Daniel responded, "Daniel Jackson, Earl of Cascadia, Heir to the House of Jackson, at your service, Major." He couldn't resist. He'd always thought it terribly old-fashioned and frankly presumptuous in the past, but he gently lifted her hand and brought his lips down to faintly kiss her knuckles. He grinned and gave her hand a squeeze before releasing it. "I can't believe it! You found a cure!"

"Cure?" Daniel turned to the man who'd spoken and got his second shock of the past few minutes.

"Jonathan?" Daniel blinked rapidly. This was getting stranger by the moment. "You're gray!"

"Tell me about it. Not a single gray hair before I met you. The you that's here, that is, not you... you." The man who looked so much like his husband seemed to mentally review what he'd said as if to make sure it made sense. He nodded to himself then and looked satisfied. Daniel couldn't help but smile at the familiar actions.

"Would it surprise you to know that I understood that, um, I think?" For a moment, Daniel wished Jonathan could be here with him, but he knew he'd never risk him like that. He shouldn't be risking himself. He couldn't believe he'd touched the mirror knowing about the warning. His father had always nagged at him about his impetuousness. He told him time and again that one day it would get him into serious trouble. It galled Daniel that he appeared to have been right.

"Not a bit." The gray haired man rocked back on his heels, arms resting comfortably on the weapon suspended from a strap around his neck. "Our Daniel generally understands me, so why shouldn't other Daniels?"

"Indeed, O'Neill, many times it has required Daniel Jackson's great intellect to comprehend your comments." Daniel turned to look at the man who spoke. His stomach knotted in fear. God no! This can't be!

"J-Jaffa! You're Jaffa!" He whirled around and started to panic when he realized the Jaffa was now between him and his only way home. "But that isn't Niriti's symbol!" In all his imaginings about the nature of the mirror it never once occurred to him that other places might still have Goa'uld in control. He cursed himself for his shortsightedness. "Whoever you serve, I won't let you touch my world!" Daniel shouted and as the words came out of his mouth he knew how ludicrous it sounded. There was no way he could stop these people if they wanted to harm them. But he couldn't bear the thought of being the one to bring more pain to his home. "Haven't you barbarians done enough?"

"Hey, who you callin' barbarians? T, come away from there, you're looming again." O'Neill gestured for the Jaffa to move away from Daniel and the mirror. "There you go. If you really think we're Goa'uld take off. Wouldn't want you to feel like you're wearing out your welcome." There was a hard note in O'Neill's voice, one he rarely ever heard from his Jonathan.

"Sir!" The woman, no, Major Carter, looked upset for him. He had almost no personal experience of the Goa'uld and their servants, but he couldn't believe any of them would give a damn about a single human.

"No, no, Carter, if he thinks we're snakes he's probably better off just going home and we'll try the next universe in line. Maybe that Daniel Jackson will be more polite." O'Neill drummed his fingers on his weapon. "Besides, I'm still waiting to hear about this cure he was talking about earlier. Sounded like something we might possibly be interested in."

"Cure to what, Colonel?" A small, dark haired woman entered the room accompanied by... himself.

"That's what I wanted to know, Doc." Daniel pushed past O'Neill to approach the newcomers. "Oh, here we go again. Watch it Doc, he kissed Carter's hand."

"You did?" his doppelganger asked in a surprised voice.

"It was reflex." Daniel answered slowly. "You're... me." He felt light headed as he reached out his hand to touch the other man's shoulder.

"Oh. Yeah. I guess you haven't done this very often." The newcomer smiled in a friendly manner and held out his hand, "Doctor Daniel Jackson. You're the first, um, me I've met."

He nodded feeling like he was moving through a dream as he slowly dropped the hand he'd reached out with and grasped the one offered, watching as they met. Daniel tried to speak, but the name and titles that had been drilled into his memory from early childhood fled. The myriad shocks of the past few minutes finally caught up with him and everything went black.

Voices. He could hear voices, but for some reason he was reluctant to wake up. Very weird dreams last night. The drugs did that to him sometimes. But now he felt warm, and comfortable like he was wrapped in cotton. Finally one voice broke through the haze. "Daniel, not now!"

"Jonathan?" Daniel tried to force his eyes open. "Izit time?" If Jonathan needed him, he needed to wake up. He forced his eyes open only to shut them against the bright lights shining down on him. That wasn't his bedroom ceiling.

"Sir? Can you wake up for me?" A woman's soft voice in his ear and he suddenly knew where he was. His eyes flew open again and he came face to face with the dark haired woman he'd seen earlier.

"It wasn't a dream, was it." He looked at the faces gathered around his bed. Only the Jaffa was missing. "You're not Goa'uld?"

"No, we're not." The woman, the doctor, he supposed, helped him sit up. "Take it easy, you've had a shock and I'd hate for you to pass out in my infirmary."

"Is that what happened?" He took the glass of water she offered and drank, more to have something to do than because he was thirsty. "Thank you... I don't believe I heard your name, Madam." When in doubt, formal was best or so his nanny had always taught him.

"He's gonna be a hard act to follow, Daniel." Major Carter bumped the other Daniel's shoulder and grinned at him.

"Carter, quit harassing Daniel. Did he harass you over Dr. Carter?" O'Neill's voice sounded so much like Jonathan's at that moment, Daniel thought he might cry. He was suddenly homesick.

"Ignore them, sir, it's usually for the best. And my name is Doctor Janet Fraiser, it's a pleasure to meet you." She took the glass from him, "Yes, you were shaking hands with... with our Daniel and just passed out. From what I've been told you'd had a few surprises thrown at you over a short period of time." While she spoke, she'd pulled a small flashlight out of her pocket. "I'd like to take a quick look at you and make sure you're all right, will that be okay with you?" She looked at the others around his bed. "Would you prefer some privacy?"

He realized he didn't want O'Neill to leave. It was silly. That wasn't his O'Neill, his Jonathan, but he had the same brown eyes and they carried familiar warmth when he looked at the Daniel from this place. "No!" He realized he'd spoken too sharply. "I'm sorry, I think I'm still a little on edge. It's okay, they don't have to go." A thought occurred to him. "Unless... well," he ducked his head and felt himself starting to blush.

"Oh! No, it's not that kind of exam." The doctor smiled in sympathy. "I just want to check your pupils, take your blood pressure again now that you're awake, that sort of thing."

"Oh." Daniel looked up at her over the top of his glasses. "In that case, please continue."

"I'd also like to get a sample of your blood." With quick, efficient movements, she shined a light in each of his eyes. "It's routine for..."

"Doc! I don't think our guest needs to hear all that." O'Neill smiled at the doctor, but his eyes were still hard.

The look reminded Daniel of how Jonathan used to smile at his father, especially when Daniel had been the subject of the old man's latest tirade. //Protective. He's afraid I'm a threat//. Suddenly things didn't seem quite so outlandish. O'Neill wasn't Jonathan, but he was //a// Jonathan O'Neill and Daniel couldn't find it in himself not to trust the man. "I don't mind, giving you a blood sample, Doctor." He smiled at them all. But there was still the matter of the Jaffa. His smile faded. "But I'm confused."

"Happens to me all the time." He had to give him credit. O'Neill seemed to be trying to at least //pretend// to be friendly.

"Jack." Daniel wondered if he looked like that when he spoke to Jonathan in that tone.

"Daniel." He had to duck his head to hide his grin. Jonathan //definitely// looked like that when he used that tone.

"What are you confused about..." the doctor hesitated. "I'm not quite sure what to call you."

For all that this was obviously a military facility, there seemed to be a distinct lack of formality. "My formal title would be Lord Cascadia," Daniel caught the looks exchanged between the people around him. "But I think that's a little much under the circumstances."

"So, Mister Jackson?" The insulting term sounded very odd coming from O'Neill. He must have seen Daniel's wince, "Not Mister Jackson."

"I'm sorry, no. That, um, that isn't considered very polite where I'm from." 'Mister' inevitably led to 'Mistress' for the bearing men in a relationship. Polite usage of both ended almost overnight a decade ago.

"Lord Daniel!" O'Neill looked very pleased with himself. Daniel's counterpart scowled at the older man and Daniel's homesickness raised another notch.

"Jack, I don't think that's an appropriate form for an earl." The other Daniel seemed embarrassed for him.

"No, really, it's, um, it's fine." He pushed his glasses up onto his nose. "And it'll make it easier since there's, well, two of us." He raised one finger to get their attention, "But, please, when there's no question of confusion, just, just call me Daniel." The echoes of a few childhood taunts were much easier to deal with than the alternative.

"Daniel it is." Doctor Frasier smiled at him and began taking his blood pressure. For just a moment it was as if the past ten years had never been. Not that he would give up his husbands for anything. He'd come to love Ian and Jose almost as much as his beloved Jonathan, but he missed the company of women. Missed their friendship. Their perspective. Their lovely voices. Boys' choirs were very popular at home and he now realized why. He used to think it was nothing more than the joy of hearing children where they'd thought there'd never be any. Now he knew with sudden clarity that it was because it was the only way to hear those light clear tones they all missed. He wondered if O'Neill liked opera.

"There, you seem to be no worse for your adventure this morning." The doctor smiled and gestured to another woman, a nurse, who brought her a tray. "Just let me get this blood sample and then we're through here."

"At which time, we'll all go down and have a conversation with General Hammond." It was easier if he didn't look at O'Neill. He looked so different, but he //sounded// the same.

"Look, um, Lord, I mean, Daniel," Daniel looked at Doctor Jackson, "there's something we should probably explain before we go." Doctor Jackson looked irritated at O'Neill, but his face cleared when he looked back. "About Teal'c."

"Teal'c?" He was stumped. He didn't remember anyone named... //T, come away from there, you're looming again//. He was glad the doctor had already taken his blood pressure because he knew it just shot through the roof. "Oh. Right. Yes, about, um, him."

"It's okay, he's not what you think." It was weird to see his face trying to reassure him. "He's with us fighting //against// the Goa'uld."

"Strange, isn't it?" Major Carter sat down next to him. "I met one of my other selves once." She smiled and Daniel couldn't help but smile back. "I didn't like her much at first, but she kinda grew on me. Give us a chance to show you we're not your enemies."

In a world where women still lived, Jonathan O'Neill was gray and his titles seemed strange, he could begin to believe in turncoat Jaffa. "I think I'm beginning to believe it, but,"

"Here we go." Yes, not looking directly at O'Neill was easiest.

"I still have a million questions."

"Oh, he's //so// you, Daniel."

~*~

CHAPTER 6

"They began testing the oldest men first." Daniel sat across the briefing room table from his counterpart and listened with growing amazement. He'd stopped all pretense of note taking, just absorbing the man's fantastic tale. He suspected Jack was still skeptical, but that was Jack. Daniel found himself reading between the lines; hearing what wasn't being said. The other Daniel had told his world's story but left out his personal feelings. Daniel heard them anyway. He saw the lines that were missing on his own face. The scattering of gray missing from his own head. He //felt// the rage simmering under the world-weary surface. This man was on the edge. Through most of his story of Niriti's abortive invasion, the devastating plague, her mysterious death and her army's subsequent desertion, his voice had been nearly flat. Only when he mentioned Niriti herself had he spoken with emotion. Daniel, and he suspected everyone else in the room, recognized the hatred in his tone. They'd heard it whenever Daniel spoke of Apophis.

"Why the oldest first?" Janet Frasier looked up from her notes. She'd been scribbling madly trying to get every detail their visitor could give her.

"The theory was that with this procedure, men would be able to bear children longer than a woman would since ageing eggs wouldn't be an issue. Even so, the stress could be too much." Lord Daniel rubbed his eyes in a familiar gesture. "It was thought that the sooner the older men could begin bearing, the better," he paused and looked at General Hammond who was as rapt as the others. "And if the initial procedures didn't work." He stopped and looked down at his hands.

"It was no great loss if the old guys died, right?" Jack's irreverent comment cut through the silence.

"Colonel!" The general barked at his subordinate.

"Jack!" Daniel snapped at the same moment.

"No, it's alright. He's, um, well, he's right." Lord Daniel shrugged and nodded at Jack. "You have to remember, we were dying as a species." He sounded exhausted. Lord Daniel had been speaking in fairly general terms. Daniel knew there was a great deal about the personal cost they weren't hearing. The actual act of conception had been ignored completely. Janet had tactfully not requested any clarification, though Daniel figured she'd ask later. Hopefully, in private. "This was the //only// chance we had. Men volunteered by the thousands for the testing. Soon, when so few were found compatible with the procedure, the testing became required." He rubbed his eyes again and stared at his hands where they now lay clinched together on the table. "There were mass suicides across the world once we realized the women had been targeted. Whole cultures have died out rather than submit to... the change. Everything we were... Everything..." He slammed his fists down on the table and stood glaring at everyone, everyone except Jack. "You have no // right// to judge us! You sit here in your perfect world and you can't //begin// to imagine what we've gone through!" He whirled and strode the closed blast window, turning his back on everyone hands clinching and relaxing at his side.

"You're right." Daniel stood as he spoke and approached his other self. "We can't know and we're //not// judging you." He graced Jack with the glare he'd been spared earlier. "I know it can't compare to what you've gone through, but this is difficult for us to hear."

"Try //living// it!" Daniel cautiously placed his hand on the other man's tense shoulder.

"How can we help?" He ignored Jack's sigh and concentrated on the man next to him.

"Help?" Lord Daniel's voice sounded defeated and the rage fled leaving an almost palpable aura of pain behind. "Do you have any children, Daniel?" Haunted eyes bore into his.

"No," Daniel swallowed his own pain, "My wife died before we had the chance." His counterpart nodded and looked down at the floor.

"My sorrow for your grief." Daniel bit his tongue to keep from asking the origin of the apparently ritual phrase. This wasn't the time. "My consorts have given me seven living sons in the past six years." Even through the pain and sorrow, there was pride and love as he spoke of his family. "We have buried," the arms that had been held tight to his sides, folded themselves around his midsection as he spoke softly, "three sons and two beautiful, perfect daughters." A quick, sad smile graced his face. "We're luckier than some."

"My sorrow for your grief." Daniel repeated the phrase slowly, hoping it was appropriate, given that the other Daniel's society was apparently more formal than his own. His other self seemed willing to accommodate their ignorance, so he hoped his sincerity overrode any unintentional insult.

With another small smile he looked back up at Daniel, tears shining in his eyes. "You're dying to ask about that, aren't you." His voice was quiet, for Daniel's ears only. Daniel nodded; embarrassed that he was that transparent but not really surprised that the other man picked up on his unfamiliarity with the phrase. They'd spoken together before the briefing and found, unsurprisingly, that they shared many of the same interests and had had some similar experiences. Daniel was still working through the fact that the other man's father was still alive and that his mother had lived until the plague. That was far stranger to him than the idea of most of North America being part of the United Kingdom. "Thank you." Lord Daniel took a deep breath and spoke normally. "The plague is still active. It's still killing our daughters, and probably destroying the fertility of most of our sons. Our solution is far from perfect, but it's the only one we've got." He turned back to the others in the room, "Can you help us?"

"Lord Daniel," Daniel recognized the regret in General Hammond's voice. This was going to be an uphill battle. "While we sympathize with your world's plight, I don't know what we //can// do. We can't risk exposing our world to Niriti's plague."

Other voices drown out his own. Jack surprised Daniel by being the one who spoke the loudest. "General, surely there's something we can do without exposing our people." Daniel wasn't sure what was going on in Jack's head right then. There was a tightness around his eyes that told of stress. His normal restlessness during briefings had stilled as Lord Daniel's tale progressed. Daniel suddenly wondered who the 'Jonathan' he mentioned earlier was to their visitor. He had a feeling Jack didn't want to know.

"Sir." Janet spoke up. "If I may?" At her commanding officer's nod, she turned to their guest. "You said that almost all of your world's resources were devoted to reproduction and basic survival."

Lord Daniel nodded and replied, "Most of our industrial base crashed in the first year. We've limped along but it hasn't been easy. Biosciences receive the lion's share of our scientific resources. Every birth, every, um, miscarriage requires medical intervention. There is no more 'natural' childbirth. Add to that the injunctions against risking any man capable of reproducing." He sighed heavily. "Only sterile men, for example, are allowed to pursue some occupations or travel great distances. The only exception are men who have to travel to conceive or certain men who are the only specialists left in their fields."

"Sir, it may be that we can do something, even if it's only going over their data and offering suggestions based on our knowledge of the Goa'uld and on Niriti's methods." Thank you, Janet.

"Sir," Sam spoke before the General could respond to Janet's suggestion, "we could also supply them with research equipment, or medicines they no longer have the resources to manufacture." She smiled hopefully at Lord Daniel. "Do you think that would be of use?"

An SF at the briefing room door interrupted. "General? I'm sorry to interrupt, but there's someone," he glanced nervously at Jack and swallowed, "Someone else came through the mirror and he's demanding to see someone named Lord Cascadia." The sound of an argument drifted in from the corridor.

"Take your hands off me! I'll go where I damn well please!" Daniel glanced quickly at Jack who looked back at him. They both recognized that voice. Their first visitor was halfway to the door when their second visitor shoved past the SF. "Daniel! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Jonathan? What am //I// doing? What the hell do you think //you're// doing?" The two men embraced quickly. "Why are you here?" Lord Daniel led the newcomer, the heavily pregnant newcomer, to his chair and urged him to sit.

"I //was// looking for you!" He eased down into the chair, apparently oblivious to the shocked stares aimed at him from around the room. "Ian went to look for you and found that damned contraption uncovered. He's having hysterics, Jose's pissed as hell and if your father finds out, he'll have your head." Jonathan took a moment from his tirade to catch his breath and look around. Daniel met his eyes. "Damn! You were right, Daniel! He's you!" He looked back at Lord Daniel and then back to Daniel as if comparing the two. Finally he noticed Jack. "Shit! What happened to you? You're gray!"

Daniel found himself openly staring at Jonathan. Their relationship was suddenly all too clear, yet that paled in comparison to the man's condition. The alternate universe's plight had been little more than an intellectual puzzle, until now. They'd had little time to fully absorb the fantastic situation faced by the other Earth. They were now faced with direct evidence of what they'd been told which made it much more real and frankly shocking. It was orders of magnitude weirder than alternate Sam being a civilian. Daniel got a sudden image of Sam giving a Power Point presentation on the probabilities of various occupations and circumstances of 'their' lives in alternate universes. Complete with formulas and graphs. He choked down an almost hysterical giggle. After all the things he'd experienced since standing on the sidewalk in the rain after his disastrous last lecture he'd figured he was beyond this kind of shock. Never say never, he thought ruefully to himself. But if his reaction was this strong, what must Jack be going through.

Jack was still standing stiffly where he'd risen from his chair at the commotion. His face was closed and tight, reminding Daniel of the moments before battle and he felt himself respond in kind. A quick glance at Sam told him she'd noticed and reacted as well. They were so attuned to each other Daniel had to force himself to relax. He knew that if Teal'c were here he'd be on alert as well, something that would likely have terrified their visitors. Once he'd decided Lord Daniel was no threat to them, Teal'c had offered to excuse himself since his presence was still disturbing to the man. Jack had argued with him, but Daniel persuaded the general that he was right and their visitor would be more forthcoming without a constant reminder of the Goa'uld in the room.

"Jonathan!" Lord Daniel chided the other man then addressed the others, "Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce my First Consort, Jonathan O'Neill of the House of Jackson." He, in turn, introduced everyone to his consort before adding, "These people may be able to help us." He took the pregnant man's hand and lowered his voice, "Please, try not to insult them." He paused then added, "Pretend it's a council meeting."

Jonathan's whispered "Are you //nuts//?" barely reached Daniel's ears and he was sitting closest to him. Perhaps no one else heard. He wondered what it would be like if Jack was on any kind of governing council but decided he didn't need the resulting headache.

Jonathan looked away from where he'd been staring at Jack and rubbed his rounded belly. "The title thing is a mouthful. Just call me Jonathan." Turning to Lord Daniel he asked "I don't suppose I can blame it on hormones?" He rolled his eyes at his companion's slight scowl and looked back at Jack. "Um... look, I'm sorry, it was just a bit of a shock, y'know?"

Jack seemed to shake himself out of his immobility. "//You're// shocked?" He sat back down, his eyes never leaving his alternate self. "That looks... painful," he added with more sympathy than Daniel would have thought him capable of at the moment.

"Jack!"

"I'm just sayin'." He had the good grace to look a little sheepish. Daniel tried to curb his irritation. As strange as he was feeling about all this, he really couldn't imagine how Jack was feeling. He suspected he'd get an earful eventually, but doubted he'd ever hear the most important parts.

"It's okay," Jonathan told Daniel. Then he shrugged and turned back to Jack. "It has its moments. It's the backaches, y'know? They're the worst." Daniel couldn't help smiling. He sounded like Jack complaining about his knees.

"Sir," Janet spoke, pulling their attention from the two O'Neills, "if it wouldn't be an imposition, I'd like the chance to exam you before you return to your universe." She glanced around the table, "This," indicating Jonathan's pregnancy with a gesture, "is an amazing opportunity to learn..."

"Opportunity!" Jonathan's voice thundered through the room.

"Jonathan, please calm down." Jonathan shrugged off Lord Daniel's efforts to calm him.

"Damnit, Daniel, aren't you hearing this? It was bad enough before! I certainly didn't expect to have to go through this crap all over again!" He turned his attention back to the others in the room. "What do you think I am, some sort of experiment? A research project? What is //wrong// with you people?" He turned back to his companion. "I thought you said they wanted to help. I won't be poked and prodded like some kind of //brood mare//!"

"We don't think that at all." Daniel said hurriedly. He hoped he could diffuse this before it got even more out of hand. Janet's request had hit a nerve. It didn't take an anthropologist to recognize the venom behind the words "brood mare". Daniel bit down on the urge to ask about it. So many questions, so little time for answers. "We think you're a courageous man who's gone to extraordinary lengths to save his people." Janet looked embarrassed. "Remember, we know you, um," he tried to banish the memory of Jack playing with his yo-yo in the control room yesterday. "A version of you anyway," he added dryly and waved a hand toward Jack.

Jonathan seemed to settle a little. He wasn't completely at ease, though, as he glared and pointed at Janet. "I still don't want //her// anywhere near me!"

"Love," Lord Daniel's voice was calm as he focused on the distraught man at his side. "No one's going to do anything you don't want. No one's going to hurt you and if anyone tried, they'd have to go through me." Daniel couldn't help but glance at Jack to see his reaction to the endearment. Jack's eyes met his and Daniel shook his head minutely and narrowed his eyes in warning. Jack's slight shrug indicated his acquiescence and Daniel relaxed a little.

"Sir," Janet took a deep breath before continuing, "I apologize if I insulted you. It wasn't my intention."

General Hammond cleared his throat and got everyone's attention. He smiled his most diplomatic smile, "This is obviously an awkward situation for us all. Perhaps this would be a good time for a break. We still have more than twenty-four hours before you have to return to your own universe." The general's timing was excellent, as usual. "Gentlemen," he addressed Lord Daniel and Jonathan who looked confused at the time limit mentioned, "a V.I.P. suite has been prepared for you. Doctor Jackson, would you escort our guests and arrange for whatever they require?"

"Of course, General." Daniel stood and waited halfway to the door for Lord Daniel to help Jonathan awkwardly rise from his chair. The wheels seemed to make it more difficult. With an audible groan he was finally on his feet and Daniel gestured to the doorway, "If you'll just come with me, gentlemen."

Daniel mostly stayed out of the conversation between the two men as they made their way to the guest quarters level. Lord Daniel filled Jonathan in on what he'd learned and Daniel added clarification when requested. Jonathan kept sneaking glances at him and shaking his head. They'd yet to tell their visitors about the gate, an omission Daniel felt was close to criminal. Security was one thing, but he thought this was taking it too far. He'd try again as soon as he could get back to the General, but for now, he'd take the opportunity to learn what he could. If gathering information from their guests meant delaying the inevitable conversation with Jack, it wasn't his fault. He'd be just as happy to never have that particular conversation. He had a sinking feeling that it wouldn't end well. Where was an alien invasion when you needed one.

~*~

CHAPTER 7

//Given me seven living sons in the past six years//. Jack hit the heavy bag again. // Buried three sons and two beautiful, perfect daughters//. His gloved fist slammed into it again. //Seven living sons//. Another bone jarring thud into the bag. //Buried three sons//. Another hit followed by another and another. A single gunshot echoed through his memory. Sweat poured down his face and Jack felt the blackness encroaching. He'd stared into that pit before and it had nearly swallowed him. He'd once told Daniel that he could sometimes forget. What he hadn't told him was that sometimes he couldn't help but remember. He pounded into the bag and locked away each image as it rose in his mind.

Seven laughing children.

//snick//

Five tiny coffins.

//snick//

Blood-matted blond hair.

//snick//

One small coffin.

//snick//

He locked them away and he would keep locking them away until they stopped haunting him. Each mental turn of the key matched a fist slammed into the bag.

Jack stood in front of his locker, a clean wet towel still in his hands, and realized he couldn't remember how he got there. //Gotta love autopilot,// He thought as he started to dress. He'd been pretty pleased with how well he'd handled the briefing, earlier. He'd managed to shut down his initial emotional reaction to his counterpart, but then it had been over and he'd been alone with no one but himself and his ghosts to play to. Lying to himself was one thing, but his ghosts knew better. Jack hated spending time inside his own head. Too many landmines. Too many bricked up doorways. //Damn!// For the millionth time he wondered how Daniel could stand it. He certainly had enough of ghosts of his own. Maybe that's what drove him to cram so much useless information in his head. Easier to ignore the walled off spaces if there was enough other junk to hide them. Ok, so Jack thought it was junk. Unless he needed it in the field. And what did that say about his life that the kind of crap Daniel liked could mean the difference between life and death in the field.

Daniel. Jack slammed his locker shut and sat down to put on his boots. He just // knew// they were going to have a talk about this. Jack decided he'd rather gnaw off his own arm. //What was it T said that time? "Ours is the only universe of consequence." Damn right it is!// He didn't need anyone else around to tell him he was lying to himself. It didn't matter. He had things to do, pie to eat. The click of the locker room door as it closed behind him locked the last of the ghosts back in their bricked up tombs.

Jack sat in the commissary and took another bite of pie. Coconut cream wasn't his favorite, but the apple had looked like that crap they'd been served a couple of missions ago. Even Teal'c got sick enough to mutter about the inequities of fate robbing him of his symbiote. The less said about Carter's and Daniel's comments, the better. Not one of their more enjoyable missions. Jack had the place almost to himself, which suited him. A couple of Daniel's geeks were arguing over something or other at a table across the room but that was it. They appeared to be so focused on their argument they probably wouldn't notice an invasion. He needed the time to settle back into his skin. Their visitors would be leaving in a few hours and, if he was lucky, he could avoid any more contact with them. This hopping from universe to universe was unsettling. It upset the natural order of things. It was just plain //wrong//. He dismissed the little voice in his head whispering to him that what he did for a living pretty much fell into the same category. Gate travel, he could handle. That was just technology. At least, androids not withstanding, he didn't have to worry about meeting up with different hims. Especially versions of him that made Jack question some very basic truths about who he was. He took another bite and studied the pattern of the meringue on the last few bites of pie as if he could find inner peace there.

"Sir?" Jack looked up, surprised to find an airman standing near his table. He'd been so lost in thought he hadn't noticed him come in.

"What is it, Anderson?" Maybe he was being sent to Washington or the Tok'ra had come to call. Either would get him out of having to deal with Lord Daniel and... him.

"Sir, the general would like to see you in his office A.S.A.P." The kid looked nervous. Jacked figured most of the base had heard about their visitors. He stifled a sigh. The next few weeks were //so// not going to be fun. But, eventually, something else impossible would happen and the pregnant Jonathan O'Neill would be shoved out of mind by SG9 turning into werewolves or something.

"I'll be right there, Anderson." The kid hesitated and Jack wondered if he'd been supposed to escort him. "Dismissed." Anderson turned and all but ran out of the commissary. Jack shook his head and drained his coffee cup. If Kowalsky were still around, he just //knew// there'd be pictured of Jonathan posted at strategic places around the base and a surprise "baby" shower for Jack. He did sigh then, still missing his friend after all these years. Setting his empty cup on the table, he stood and headed for the general's office. No one was close enough to hear his murmured "Absent friends."

Jack knocked on the general's door and was immediately invited to enter. "You wanted to see me, General?"

"Yes, Colonel, have a seat." Jack sat in front of the general's desk hoping this had nothing to do with the men in the V.I.P. suite but certain he couldn't be that lucky.

General Hammond eased back in his chair, "How are our guests doing?"

"Don't know. Don't care." George Hammond had spoiled him. His brief, but not nearly brief enough, stint under General Bauer had made that abundantly clear. Hammond allowed, even actively encouraged his subordinates to be people and not just subordinates. It was probably one of the most important factors in the success of the SGC. All these incredible people facing all sorts of outlandish situations needed someone like Hammond who could step back and let them do what they do best. The Bauers of the world only knew how to give orders, never when not to or when to just sit and listen.

"Colonel," He paused, "Jack, I know this must be quite difficult for you," That was George speaking, not the general. Another point in George's favor.

"No, sir, I don't think you do." Jack had to move. He did //not// want to have this conversation. It was bad enough that he knew he'd be having a version of it with Daniel, but to have it with his C.O.? Even a C.O. as understanding as this one? He got up, shoved his hands in his pockets and started wandering around the office. Jack stopped in front of the window looking out on the empty briefing room before turning back to the man behind the desk. "General, I'd like to request a few days of leave." He wasn't sure who was more surprised by that, the general or himself. For a man who could withstand torture without revealing anything, his mouth had a terrible habit of going off without any assistance from his brain.

"I think that can be arranged, Jack." George looked at him with a benevolent smile and Jack couldn't believe his luck. "//After// we've dealt with the current situation."

Jack found his boots extremely interesting for a few moments. "Can't fault a guy for trying."

George chuckled. "Jack, if I faulted you for being trying, you'd probably be a Lieutenant in Antarctica right now."

"Good one, sir." Jack's sick smile apparently provided further amusement for the other man. "So, what fun and games do you have lined up for me? Scrabble? Pin the Tail on the Donkey? Suicide mission?" Jack continued to wander around the office.

"Nothing you'd enjoy that much, I'm afraid." The humor in George's voice faded and the general returned. "Have a seat Colonel. You're giving me whiplash."

"Yes, sir." Jack dropped ungracefully into his chair to hear his fate feeling his ghosts scratching at the doors to their prisons.

Jack got off the elevator with every intention of delivering his message and leaving the dirty work to Daniel. Daniel wouldn't mind. Wouldn't even see it as dirty work. Besides, he was good at it. Jack would be calm and relaxed if it killed him. The general had impressed upon him that this was still a diplomatic situation when he turned down Jack's request for a zat. Jack had thought it a reasonable request. He certainly felt like he was going into battle. A zat seemed like a much more diplomatic choice than his P-90. He nodded with an absent "As you were," to the SF guarding the door and then knocked. A familiar voice bade him enter. He made a quick bet with himself as to which one it was as he opened the door. The Daniels were seated at the small table, a legal pad, a laptop and two coffee cups between them. "Hey, Daniel. //Daniels//" He gave them both his best 'don't mind me, I'm harmless' smile.

Lord Daniel returned a smile of his own. His Daniel scowled and looked suspicious. "Jack? Did you need something?"

"No, no, well yes, but I also thought I'd check on our guests." The bed was rumpled, but no one else was in the room. Before he could ask, the bathroom door opened and Jonathan came back into the room.

"That's, um, nice, Jack." Jack beamed at his wary teammate.

"Jack, isn't it?" Jonathan stood between the bathroom and the bed with his hands resting on his protruding belly.

"Yes. Yes it is. Or Colonel. Jack's fine. Jonathan, right?" Jack was babbling and he knew it, the pregnant man just nodded and rubbed one hand idly where it lay reminding Jack uncomfortably of his ex-wife. For the life of him, Jack couldn't figure out why the general thought this was a good idea. What do you say to your pregnant self from an alternate universe? He took a moment to really look at the other man. While his hair wasn't nearly as gray as Jack's, there were more lines on his face. He looked exhausted. Under the loose fitting pants and shirt he was generally heavier than Jack, pregnancy aside. Lord Daniel hadn't said how many children this man had borne, but it was a sure bet this wasn't his first. He'd been trying not to think about the relationship between the two men. It brought up too many things about himself that he really didn't want to think about. Things he'd thought he'd dealt with a very long time ago. He suddenly needed to know if they'd been together before Niriti. He just wasn't sure he'd like the answer. No matter what it was.

"Daniel taking good care of you?" He quickly reviewed what he'd just said. The amused smiles coming his way told him everything he needed to know. "I mean, //our// Daniel."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one getting confused here." Jonathan eyed the bed with obvious distaste and headed to a chair at the table, instead.

"Yes, Colonel, Daniel has taken excellent care of us." Lord Daniel rose from his chair as he spoke and stood behind the now seated Jonathan. With one hand on his consort's shoulder he continued, "Please extend our thanks to General Hammond. It was gracious of him to allow us the time to speak and a place for Jonathan to rest"

"That's the general for you. Gracious to the end." Jack stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels.

"Jack, if there's nothing else, we really do have a lot more ground to cover." Daniel tapped the pad in front of him with his pen.

"Learn anything interesting?" Jack wandered closer to the men, all now sitting at the table, looking around the room before standing behind Daniel so he could look over his shoulder and try to read the pad sitting in front of him. "What language is that?"

Daniel sighed and tossed his pen down and looked up at his friend over the top of his glasses. "It's //English//, Jack. I'm sure you've heard of it."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny." He looked at the pad again, but still couldn't make out anything on it. "Your handwriting's terrible. It's starting to look like all those other chicken scratches you like." Jack knew a delaying tactic when he saw one, even if he was employing it against himself. His emotions were all over the place and the familiar teasing with Daniel gave him an anchor. When he'd found himself at the door to this room, he'd thought he knew why he was there. Now, he wondered if maybe he'd given in too quickly. He //could// have fought harder. Could have tried to talk the general into doing this himself. Maybe some part of him //wanted// to be here. //Of all the dumbass ideas you've ever had, Jack, that one takes the cake.// He chastised himself silently. He had to do his job and get the hell outta Dodge.

Jonathan reached over and pulled the pad toward him so he could see it. "Damn, Daniel, his handwriting is as bad as yours." He glanced up at Jack and gave him a fleeting smirk before turning an oh, so innocent face to //his// Daniel.

"I thought you didn't like sleeping alone?" Lord Daniel's mild voice carried the same innocent tones Jack was used to, which made the content that much weirder.

Jack glanced at what he could see of Daniel's face to see his reaction to their guests. Daniel had picked up his pen again, but his face was unreadable. //This is weirding him out as much as it is me.// Yep, looked like they had a talk coming up, if they wanted it or not. He would have managed to ignore it, if it had only been him, but he wouldn't, couldn't hang his friend out to dry. He'd done that before and hadn't liked the result. Hadn't liked what it said about Jack O'Neill. Hadn't liked what it had done to Daniel, if he was completely honest with himself.

Lord Daniel took his consort's hand and raised it to his lips as if in apology for his tease. The action looked nothing like the kiss he'd bestowed on Carter and the Doc. This spoke of intimacy and, if Jack were completely honest with himself, love. The two men smiled at each other unaware of the frank stares from the other two men in the room.

Daniel cleared his throat and turned toward Jack. "So, Jack. You said you had something you needed?"

"Ah, yes." He had the others' attention now. "The general asked me to let you know that the President has given permission for us to fill the guys in," he smiled and nodded at their guests, "on what we do here."

"The who?" Jonathan looked confused. Jack figured he was the only one who heard Daniel's mutter. It sounded something like "it's about time".

Still holding his consort's hand, Lord Daniel answered him, "Sort of like a Prime Minister but without a monarch."

"Without a monarch? How can you have a Prime Minister without a monarch? That's nuts!" Jack was taken aback by Jonathan's response. The full implications of Daniel's counterpart being a nobleman, or whatever, hadn't really sunk in.

"We don't have a Prime Minister, we have a President. A little matter of winning a war. Does 1776 mean //nothing// to you?" He looked at the two blank faces before him.

"Jack," Daniel had his 'I'm going to be patient with you until you go away' face on. "In their universe, the American revolution never happened."

"How do you know that?" Jonathan turned to Lord Daniel. "How does he know that?"

"Calm down, Jonathan. We talked about this earlier," he explained and nodded at the rumpled bed. "While you were napping." Jonathan scowled.

"How could it not happen?" Jack might be a man of the universe, but there was something fundamentally unsettling to him to think that the country he'd devoted his life to didn't exist somewhere.

Daniel spoke up, "It's actually very interesting." Any irritation Daniel had felt over Jack's interruption was gone as he jumped up and started to pace rapidly, hands waving as he spoke. It was replaced by his almost pathological need to share every boring detail with Jack. At top speed. The thought made Jack smile. Some things never changed. "See, in their universe, George the Third died in an accident around 1765. That meant George the Fourth became king in his own right decades before he did here. Granted, he was only a child, but without the madness that marked his father's reign during those decades, the policies that sparked the revolution were never put into place and the United States was never came into being." He stopped and faced Jack, eyes bright with excitement. "Jack, you see what this means, don't you?" Daniel //always// asked him that and Jack almost // always// needed him to explain it. He should feel honored that his brilliant friend thought him capable of keeping up with what was going on in his mind, but generally it just gave him a headache.

"Um... no." Jack shrugged. "Sorry, Daniel, I'm not seein' it."

"It means I was //right//!" Ok, that little jump was going on Jack's tape. At this rate, he wouldn't have to buy the pizza for a month. On the other hand, if he ditched the bet idea and went straight to blackmail, he might get six months out of it.

"About?" Jack gave him a 'keep going' gesture.

"The //mirror//, Jack!" Daniel cocked his head to one side and lowered his voice as if talking to himself. Jack had always been fascinated by how the man actually talked in footnotes. He'd never known anyone else who did that. "Well, actually the controller, but that doesn't matter." Apparently back on the main text, he continued, "What //does// matter is that this helps prove that the farther we go along the controller, the more distant the point of divergence that caused the universes to separate!"

"Ah." He nodded. "Fascinating, Daniel. As always." Jack ignored the scowl. He'd delivered his message, now it was time to make his exit and start putting this whole mess behind him. "So, I'll be off. Daniel?"

"Jack?"

"I'm sure you can explain things to these good people." Jack edged his way back to the doorway.

"W-Wha? Jack? Don't you think," Jack was a little surprised by the almost panicked expression on Daniel's face.

"No, thinking's your department. Yours and Carter's." Jack had his hand on the doorknob.

"Jack." He knew that tone. Daniel was not a happy camper.

"Daniel" Jack wasn't a happy camper either, nor was he in the mood to be pushed.

Daniel turned to address the others, "Would you please excuse us for a moment, I need," he scowled at Jack, "a word with Jack." A gracious nod from his counterpart had him hustling Jack out into the corridor.

"Jack! Where do you think you're going?" Daniel kept his voice low, but Jack knew that whisper. He'd be yelling if he weren't concerned with being overheard by the men in the V.I.P. room.

"Anywhere but here, Daniel. I can't," he glanced at the S.F. on guard duty and grabbed Daniel by the arm and dragged him down the corridor and into the first room he came to. Shutting the door to the storeroom he flipped on the lights and continued, "I can't //be// in there, Daniel. I just //can't//." He realized he was still clutching the other man's arm and released it, shoving his hands in his pockets. Seemed to be the safest place for them lately. He looked into his friend's eyes and hoped the perceptive man wouldn't make him say any more.

"Don't do this to me again, Jack. Don't hang me out to dry." Jack was thoroughly confused now.

"When have I ever hung you out to dry?" Memories of past missions flashed through his mind, but Jack wasn't sure any of those really applied. Unless... He'd apologized for what happened on Euronda and Jack //thought// Daniel had forgiven him, especially after he finally clued in and admitted Daniel had been right. "Euronda?"

"Euronda? Huh?" Now it was Daniel's turn to be confused. "No! Damnit, Jack! That was completely different. Besides, we both kinda screwed up on that one." Daniel always looked a little embarrassed when Euronda came up. Jack knew he'd been kicking himself ever since for not taking Jack aside to make his point about their hosts. 'Don't fight in front of the aliens' was one of the first things teams were taught before going through the gate. "No, I'm talking about the Langarans. I'm sure you remember them."

"Oh. Them." Not one of Jack's better moments, except for the end. It was a kick to watch them flounder when he and the general told them the SGC was withdrawing the offer to help them resettle.

"Yeah. Them." Arms wrapped around himself, Daniel wandered over to a table laden with boxes of something or other. He nudged one over a bit and perched on the edge of the table. "When Jonas came through the gate, I was glad to see him." Daniel was looking down at the floor so Jack couldn't see his eyes. "We'd gotten along well... um, before and then with the mission on Anubis' ship," his voice trailed off and he shrugged. "It wasn't a problem." Jack knew what was coming and wished he'd brought it up at the time. Jack had been selfish. He would //never// feel anything but hatred for that whole damn planet because of what happened there. Even now that Daniel was back, sometimes grief would hit him and he'd have to go to his friend's office just to reassure himself that he was there. The longer Daniel was back, the less it happened, but it still got him every time.

"Daniel." Jack wasn't sure what he should say. What he //could// say.

"Just hear me out." Daniel took a deep breath and looked Jack in the eye. "You walked out and left me in there with them." Jack was surprised at the accusation and that's exactly what it sounded like. The tone of voice was unmistakable. "Do you know when I finally remembered," Daniel cleared his throat and studied his boots. "Finally remembered my, um, death?" He met Jack's eyes again. Jack just shook his head. Daniel had never said much about what he remembered after he'd been cleared for regular gate travel. Jack had been too cowardly to ask. "It was the night after Jonas showed up."

Jack closed his eyes and sagged a little against the door. "Daniel, why didn't you say something?"

"What was I supposed to say? 'General, I'm sorry, I can't help save these people because it's giving me screaming nightmares?' I'm sure that would have gone over well." Now a spot on the floor captured Daniel's attention and he absently rubbed his boot over it.

"Damnit, Daniel." Jack scrubbed his hands over his face. Guilt was eating away at his resolve. "I'm crap at this sort of thing. What do you want from me?"

"I //want// your help." Jack stared at his friend. "I want to know that when this is all over there's someone I can talk to who might have a clue about how I feel. About how," Daniel fluttered one hand as if he could pull the word he was searching for out of thin air.

"Freaked?" Jack supplied the word that best described his frame of mind.

"Right. How freaked I am." He nodded his thanks for the assist. "It wasn't too bad before Jonathan showed up. But that just," He shook his head and shrugged.

"Yeah. I know." This wasn't quite the setting he'd had in mind when he'd envisioned this particular discussion. Jack had really hoped there'd be alcohol available before marching out into this minefield. Getting into these kinds of things surrounded by toilet paper and cleaning supplies was also a whole other level of bizarre that he thought he could do without. "You could always talk to Carter." Any hope he had of that working died as soon as he said it. He didn't need the expression on Daniel's face to tell him it was a really bad idea.

"I don't think meeting an alternate self with a different career is quite the same as meeting one who's," Daniel took a deep breath but Jack interrupted him.

"Pregnant?"

"With my counterpart's child." Daniel nodded.

"Okay." Jack was a little surprised by how much easier this was than he'd expected. It wasn't just about him any more. It was about him and Daniel. A team thing. He could do this. Besides, Daniel helped pull him back from the pit once before. Maybe he could do it again. Maybe it wouldn't be as hard to deal with this if he didn't have to do it on his own. Maybe pigs fly.

"Okay?" Daniel looked startled. "Just, 'okay'?"

"Yeah. Okay. As in, you're right. I'll stick around and help you brief our guests." He wasn't nearly as relaxed as he sounded, but this wasn't as hard as he'd feared. He //did// owe Daniel one. More than one, really, but one was all Daniel was calling him on at the moment.

"Oh. Um, thanks, Jack." Poor Daniel always looked so flustered when he won. "I really appreciate it."

"Think nothing of it." Jack gestured to the door and put his hand on the light switch. "And when all this is over, we'll go to my place for the weekend and talk." He switched off the lights as they left and closed the door.

"You're volunteering to talk? I'm not going to have to pry it out of you?" Daniel asked in disbelief.

"I talk." Jack tried for indignant.

"You actually did a pretty good job in there." Daniel flicked his hand back toward the storeroom they just left.

"I did?" Jack thought he'd been pretty useless.

"Well, for you." Daniel didn't meet Jack's eyes.

"Thanks, I think." Talking was overrated. "In that case, we'll talk //and// drink." There, that should do it.

"Drink? All weekend?" Now Daniel was openly staring at him.

"Sure. Why not?" If he couldn't shut his ghosts up completely, he could at least numb them for a while.

"Works for me." Maybe they both needed that.

~*~

CHAPTER 8

"Is that how I used to be?" Daniel's quiet question startled Jonathan. He'd drifted again as he often did late in his pregnancies. Though, with Patrick he'd been pretty much drifted through the whole thing. Just as well, since otherwise he figured he would have spent the entire nine months terrified of another miscarriage. He blinked back the sudden tears and managed to keep them from falling.

"What do you mean?" He had no idea what Daniel was talking about. He straightened up when his husband turned around from where he'd been staring at the door. A couple of steps brought Daniel right in front of him and Jonathan reached out to stroke his cheek when his husband dropped to his knees and took Jonathan's free hand in his.

"The other, um, the other me." Daniel leaned into the stroking hand. "Did I used to be like that? So," he paused and Jonathan knew he was searching for the right words. "So, irrepressible. So excited by unimportant things." Daniel's head bent to caress Jonathan's hand with his lips.

"They were never unimportant to you, love." He shifted the hand on his husband's cheek and used it to tilt the beloved face up so he could meet his eyes. "Yes, he's very much like you were," he placed a finger against the other man's lips, preventing the inevitable interruption. "Let me finish." A teasing kiss against his finger let him know he'd won this one. "But, he hasn't gone through what you have. His life has been very different." Daniel stood and changed his grip on the hand he held, urging Jonathan to stand. He nodded to the sofa across the room and led Jonathan to it.

"Let's get more comfortable." Once seated, Jonathan wondered just how he'd get up. That was getting harder and harder, but the feel of his love's arms going around him made him bite down on the image of him struggling to get up later. This was worth it. "I need to hold you, for now. Do you mind?"

"Silly question, Danny." Jonathan kissed Daniel's cheek and settled himself against the other man, shifting to find the most comfortable position he could. "I can't wait for this kid to make an appearance. Then you can hold him for a while." He felt the chuckle beneath his cheek where it rested on Daniel's chest.

"I can't wait, either. The doctor said it would be in the next couple of weeks, didn't he?" Jonathan closed his eyes against the uncertainty in his husband's voice. The doctor had come the day after Daniel had done his duty and the drugs were still messing up his mind. He often had trouble remembering things that happened for a couple of days after. Daniel never spoke much about the drugs effects anymore. Jonathan knew the loss of memory maybe more than the loss of emotional control tore at his husband. //If only he could forget the... matings.// They both feared the long-term effects, though they'd never spoken of it. The thought of //his// Daniel without the use of his quick mind made Jonathan almost physically ill. //No matter what happens, love, I'll always be there for you. I'll always love you.// Jonathan made his silent vow and snuggled a little closer to his beloved. He stifled the pang of guilt that arose. This time, he'd banked on Daniel not being able to follow everything Doctor Caruthers had told him. There would be time enough for that after their child was born.

"Yep, just a couple of weeks, but what does he know. I think it's going to be at least three." He couldn't see from this position, but he imagined he grin as he felt his husband press a kiss into his hair.

"He's never done this. //I'm// the expert here." Jonathan grunted and shifted as the baby head butted his lungs. "At least now I understand //exactly// why women liked having female obstetricians."

"Oh, so you want a female obstetrician now?" Again he felt the chuckle more than heard it. Daniel didn't laugh much anymore and Jonathan missed it. But his tease brought up something that Jonathan figured they needed to discuss.

"I had a thought while I was resting my eyes." He waited for what he knew was coming.

"You mean while you passed out and slept like a log, don't you?"

"I did //not// pass out or sleep or //nap//." He knew it was a lost cause, but a man has //some// pride.

"Of course not, love, you always snore when you're thinking." The laughter in Daniel's voice brought tears to Jonathan's eyes again. He was really looking forward to delivering this kid and getting his hormones back under control. At least as much as they ever were any more.

"As I was saying before the smart ass remarks," he gently poked the stomach beneath him.

"Oh, my deepest apologies, sir. Please continue." This time Jonathan nipped Daniel through his shirt and rode out the gentle retaliatory tug on his hair with good grace. They used to play a lot before everything went to shit. Jonathan missed it. He didn't miss the hand caressing his shoulder. They might not play as much, but the gentle touches had escalated. Jonathan appreciated gentleness these days.

"I should probably, um." He took a deep breath because he really didn't //want// to do this, but the //opportunity// was too good to pass up. "I should probably talk to that lady doctor before we go back." He traced concentric circles on Daniel's stomach, neatly avoiding the ticklish areas. Daniel's hand stilled.

"Are you sure, love? You sounded pretty certain back there in the meeting room."

"Yeah, well." Jonathan was sure Daniel couldn't see his scowl at the thought. Who did he think he was kidding. Daniel knew him too well. "I'll probably have to, well, apologize to her, first." He sighed and just lay with his husband, one hand still on Daniel's stomach, the other, tucked slightly between them, scratching lightly at his own. The itching from the stretched skin was driving him crazy. The air in this place was way too dry for his taste. Daniel's hand picked up the caress on his shoulder again.

"It might be a good idea." They fell silent for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts, just enjoying the peace of contact. "I should probably let her do a thorough check of me, too." The hand on Jonathan's shoulder squeezed him a little before stroking again. "Maybe," Daniel breathed out harshly before continuing. "Maybe she can find some way to adjust the, um, drugs or, or something." While Jonathan had missed some of what Daniel and Doctor Daniel had been talking about while he //rested his eyes// he'd lay hard currency on the fact that little or nothing had been said about that.

"So," Jonathan twisted a little so he could see Daniel's face. "When they get back, we'll listen to what they have to tell us and then we'll ask to talk to the lady doctor." Daniel's hand hadn't changed its motion, but his face was now shuttered. //Doing battle with his demons.// They'd both paid a high price for their world's continued survival.

"Yeah." The single word was all Daniel said, but his arms enclosed Jonathan more tightly. He couldn't tell who Daniel was trying to comfort most. It didn't really matter. Jonathan closed his eyes against his ever-present exhaustion and just enjoyed being held.

"So, do you think they're together?" Jonathan jolted awake. He must have just dozed off when Daniel spoke.

"Hum?" He stifled a yawn and rubbed his cheek against the broad, warm chest below him.

"Nice of you to join me." Jonathan tilted his head to scowl at his husband, who ignored the scowl and explained further, "Them. Us. The Colonel and Doctor Jackson. Do you think they're lovers?"

"Ah. Them." Jonathan took a moment and reviewed the interactions he'd seen between the two of them. "Hard to say. They certainly //sound// like us, but there's something," he paused, seeing in his memory the softness in Doctor Jackson's face when he looked at his O'Neill. "No," he shook his head and took the opportunity to press a kiss on the shirt- covered chest he lay against. "I don't think they are, but they should be."

"Yeah, I got that impression, too."

Jonathan grabbed the back of the sofa and started trying to pull himself out of his oh, so comfortable recline against Daniel. //Damn bladder.// With his other arm, he pressed against the solid chest behind him and felt strong hands easing him upright. He sometimes felt like a turtle on its back these days. "Thanks, love." One hand left his shoulder to stroke his cheek before running through his hair and down to the nape of his neck. He smiled and leaned toward Daniel to accept the offered kiss. "Umm... thanks for that, too." He braced himself and waved a hand in the air, "Could you..."

"Oh! Of course, here," Daniel jumped up off the sofa, stumbling a little over Jonathan's feet and took his arm as Jonathan started the laborious process of getting out of the comfortable sofa. Once upright, they embraced and Jonathan sighed then leaned against the other man for a moment before straightening.

"Gotta pee. Be right back."

Jonathan stepped into the small bathroom attached to the room and took care of his needs. Standing next to the sink, he washed up and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He hated deceiving his husband like this, but Daniel was still too fragile from his latest bout with the fertility drugs and now there was //this//. Stepping through an alien device into another universe with other people who looked and sounded like them. It was wrong on so many levels, but if... //if// these people could help, maybe the nightmare could end. Every baby that lived past his first few days was all the hope they'd had and he'd thought it was enough. Now, though, now he wanted it all. He wanted //this// child to live and he'd do whatever he had to do to make it happen.

As he turned the doorknob, he realized he'd been hearing voices in the outer room, but had been too lost in his own head to realize it before now. //Thinking's a dangerous game, Jonny boy, best leave it to the experts.// He headed out into the room and greeted their 'guests' as he clumsily rejoined //his// Daniel on the sofa. "So, you two get it worked out?"

"We, talked." Jack looked uncomfortable and Doctor Daniel just looked at the floor. Jonathan shared a look with Daniel.

"You mean //he// talked and you stammered a lot." He grinned at his counterpart's discomfort and not even Daniel's quiet, chiding "Jonathan" kept him from needling the man. "Y'know, I've found that kissing the daylights out of my Daniel generally shuts him up for a while."

"Jonathan!" Daniel's chide wasn't quiet this time, but he did try to hide his smile from the other two men in the room. Doctor Daniel was openly staring at Jonathan, his mouth hanging open. He started to speak several time and then just blushed and strode over to the table where his laptop and note pad were.

"Uh," Jack looked just as dumbstruck before finally finding his voice. "Something tells me that wouldn't work with //my// Daniel." He looked startled at his own words and glanced quickly at //his// Daniel who was looking back at him, blinking rapidly in apparent confusion.

"Hey," Jonathan decided to push just a bit more. "You never know 'til you try." He couldn't help but chuckle at their expressions. He knew he was right. They did belong together, they just hadn't gotten there yet. Maybe something else good could come of this disaster. The idea that there might be a Daniel and a Jona... well, O'Neill who weren't together just didn't sit well with Jonathan.

"Jonathan, stop it." Daniel had gotten his own mirth under control and seemed determined to drag them back on topic. Jonathan acquiesced but shared a last quick grin with Daniel who then scowled at him. "So," Daniel said, "you were going to tell us about what you do here."

"Right." Doctor Daniel sounded relieved now that the discussion had moved on to more neutral territory. "Approximately ten thousand years ago, an alien arrived in Egypt. He took on the persona of the Egyptian sun god, Ra." Jonathan settled into his husband's side and leaned his head back and down resting both on the back of the sofa and on Daniel's shoulder. He closed his eyes and let the familiar voices wash over him as he gave into his exhaustion. Daniel would fill him in later. Besides, expert or not, he had some thinking of his own to do. He was //not// going to sleep.

~*~

CHAPTER 9

Janet stood just outside the briefing room gathering her thoughts. She could hear the voices inside talking quietly waiting for everyone to arrive. General Hammond and Teal'c were discussing something too quietly for her to hear. She and Daniel were the only ones missing, it seemed. Sam had cornered the colonel and was trying to convince him to back her plan for a project the general had already vetoed once. The snippets Janet heard let her know which project this was and she was more than sympathetic to the colonel's attempts to put her off. Sam had spent an evening a week ago rattling on about it over dinner with her and, truth be told, Janet had almost no idea what it entailed. The problem with having friends inside her own discipline was that they inevitably spent all their free time talking about work. The problem with having friends //outside// her discipline was that they still spent all their free time talking about their work, only Janet rarely caught more than one word in five.

She didn't want to go in until it was time to start, but she couldn't hang around out here forever, after all, she's the one who'd requested this briefing. //Daniel, where are you?// She'd been a doctor long enough to know she was projecting calm professionalism. Inside she was still reeling from what she'd learned of their guests. She'd been all but locked in her lab since they returned through the mirror two days before. Some of what she'd discovered made sense, but the rest was more problematic. She swallowed still hearing the echoes of Lord Daniel's familiar voice as he dispassionately described his experiences with the fertility drugs required to allow him to impregnate the men brought to him. In many ways, he was very different from their Daniel, but now she had an inkling why.

"Janet?" She turned to meet the concerned gaze of her friend. "Something wrong?" Hearing their Daniel's voice helped drown out the other one in her head.

"No, just not wanting to get involved in," she smiled ruefully and waved toward Sam and the colonel, "that." It was a small lie, but she really didn't want to get drawn into it. He peered around the corner and then looked back at her with a startled expression.

"She's //still// going on about that?" Janet realized Sam must have cornered him at least once over it. "Between you and me," Daniel lowered his voice conspiratorially, "I have //no// idea what she's talking about. When she mentioned how small the risk of losing the entire mountain was, I decided I really didn't want to know, either."

Janet stifled a giggle at his smile, "Me, neither, but she does seem to love going on about it."

Daniel looked a little guilty, "Not that you or I have ever," his voice trailed off and he waved his hand vaguely.

"Oh, no, //we'd never// do something like that." They shared another grin before she continued. "Think we should go in and rescue the colonel?" He ducked his head, pursed his lips and looked at her over the tops of his glasses.

"Well, I don't know that I'd go //that// far." Janet covered her mouth to hide her giggle.

"Of course, we do have to go in for the briefing." She smiled and was again struck by the differences between the two Daniels. For all that this one had lived a hard life, by anyone's estimation, he still had a spark that his alternate seemed to have lost.

"Oh, well, in that case, after you, madam." He smiled, bowed and waved her on in apparent exaggerated imitation of his other self. As she walked through the door, Daniel following, she started sinking into her professional demeanor, but not before her own smile had been noticed.

"Tell me he didn't kiss your hand, Doc." The almost gratified look on the colonel's face was at odds with his tone of voice as he moved to his seat near the general.

"Don't be an ass, Jack." Daniel turned from filling his coffee cup and wandered over to take his seat next to the colonel. Since this was her briefing Janet took the chair across from the colonel that Sam had left open for her, sitting, instead, in the one across from Daniel. She chose not to answer the colonel's flippant question, letting Daniel's slight scowl speak for her as they continued to bicker lightly about nothing. Some of the tension that had been apparent lately seemed to have dissipated since Lord Daniel and Jonathan left. Teal'c, who had been standing with the general, was already in his chair on the other side of Sam. She never ceased to be amazed at how quickly and unobtrusively he could move for such a large, powerful man.

"Doctor Frasier," the general's voice commanded their attention. "I understand that you have some information about our recent guests that you'd like to discuss." She'd given him an abbreviated rundown on her data when she'd made her request, but she hadn't gone into everything. She hadn't //known// everything she knew now when she'd talked with him.

"Yes, sir." She opened her folder and began by handing out copies of her data. She should have had it ready for them to read before they'd arrived, but she'd just finished putting the reports together. There was still a great deal of work to be done on the samples taken from their guests. "I haven't had a chance to read all of your reports yet, so some of this might be redundant, but I think it's important to understand the whole picture, or at least as much of it as we have." Nods around the table told her they understood and Daniel's raised eyebrow and twitching lips reminded her of their conversation in the corridor. //Got it, Daniel, stick to English. You should consider it sometime, too.// She raised her own eyebrows and suddenly he found the report quite fascinating. //Got him.//

"From my conversations with Lord Daniel and Jonathan, the humans of their world fall into four groups." She had their attention now. "First, there are men who are," she paused, "//traditionally// fertile. These men either have a natural immunity to Nirrti's virus, or contracted a very mild case of it. They are a fairly small minority of the population. Second, there are men who have undergone the paternal gestation procedure and are now capable of being impregnated and carrying a child to term."

"Bearing men." Everyone looked at Daniel. "They call them 'bearing men'."

"Right. The bearing men all contracted severe cases of the virus which left them // traditionally// sterile. "She noticed the colonel's wince. This must have been very strange for him. The two men across the table from her glanced at each other and the colonel shrugged. She hoped they were talking about this. She'd hate to have to order counseling if they weren't dealing with it. "Third, are the rest of the men who, as far as Lord Daniel knew, had all been quite ill with the virus. All are sterile and for one reason or another, aren't candidates for paternal gestation. This third group accounts for roughly three quarters of the population." She stopped and let that sink in. She knew Sam was doing the math to figure out how many men they had capable of reproduction. She'd already done it and hoped Sam would keep it to herself. It was in the report, but she didn't want to have to say it. Writing it was hard enough.

"The Aschen." Daniel's voice cut through the silence. Everyone looked at him with varying degrees of confusion on their faces. "This sounds like what the Aschen do." He looked hopefully into their faces. "Look, the world we met them on once had a large population, a growing industrial base. They would have been where we are in a hundred years or so if it weren't for the pandemic that left most of them sterile."

"Nirrti wanted a farming planet?" The colonel didn't sound convinced.

"Well, not necessarily that, but how hard would it be to enslave the //entire// population of a world that didn't already follow the Goa'uld?" He looked hopefully at Teal'c.

"It would be quite difficult, Daniel Jackson. The preferred tactic when subduing a populous world is to kill a great many in order to instill fear in the rest and have a smaller number to subdue." Janet was still occasionally uncomfortable when she thought about the decades Teal'c, her friend, had spent serving their enemy. "The resulting chaos makes the survivors more easily controlled and manipulated. The population is not allowed to grow large again until their complete devotion to the false god is obtained. The process can take many generations."

"So, Nirrti wanted to take over and decided to do it by killing off all the women? Does that make sense to //anyone//?" The colonel looked incredulous. "She had ships, right? Wouldn't it have been easier to just blast the planet to hell from space then move in?"

"Colonel, lets save the tactical briefing for later. Doctor, if you would continue? You said there were four groups." Janet nodded to General Hammond and returned to her notes before picking up the thread of her report.

"Yes. There are, supposedly, a very small group of females who have survived. Neither Lord Daniel nor Jonathan have ever seen them, nor do they know anyone who has. Even Lord Daniel's father, who is on their Grand Council, claims to have no more information."

"Could this be simple propaganda, Janet?" Sam shrugged her shoulders. "A way of giving the men hope that maybe things would eventually get back to normal?" '

"That could be it." Janet wished it were that easy, but there were too many questions to believe that anything would be simple.

"Actually, general, the colonel may have been right." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Colonel O'Neill looking pleased with himself. "There's a great deal about the situation on that Earth that makes no sense at all."

"I think we all found the situation difficult, Janet." She hadn't had a chance to talk much to Sam recently, so her friend hadn't seen the results yet.

"That's not what I mean, Sam." Taking a deep breath, Janet plunged into the heart of the matter. "My examination of Jonathan turned up nothing in particular that was out of the ordinary."

"Except for that pesky pregnant thing."

//Oh, yes, the colonel is having trouble with this, and it's not over yet.// Janet shook off the thought and continued, "Well, yes, except for that. In other words, given the extraordinary modifications made to his body, I found nothing that didn't seem to need to be there. Changes in his endocrine system mean his body is capable of manufacturing most of the chemicals required for gestation. An implant under the skin of his upper arm provided most of the rest. He has to take a few supplements, but not much more than a pregnant woman here would take. A few feet of bowel were removed to provide more space for the artificial womb, which, fascinatingly enough, was developed from his own tissue. No risk of rejection. There is also a mass at the base of the womb where genetic material, basically the substitute for the egg, mixes with the sperm and creates what is essentially a zygote. Also, a, um, pathway was constructed to provide sperm access to the new reproductive organs." She skimmed over the rest of the details and decided this wasn't the time. The men in the room were uncomfortable enough with the topic and it wouldn't help to alienate them any further. Besides, they were all intelligent, she knew eventually they'd realize that artificial insemination wasn't practical for an entire population. "Overall, he's remarkably healthy as is," she paused, "as is his daughter."

Stunned silence met her announcement. That was one thing they all knew the implications of.

"Does he know, Janet?" Daniel sounded like he was already in mourning. She glanced at the colonel and found his face completely blank.

"He does, but apparently he isn't supposed to."

"What the hell does that mean?" Blank to angry in five seconds.

"It means that doctors are not supposed to inform their patients of the sex of the children they carry." Janet found herself growing as angry as the colonel. "When the first girls were born and died almost immediately, some of the bearing men would try to abort as soon as they found out they were carrying girls. This led to the deaths of several and so doctors were forbidden from revealing the gender."

"So they make them carry them anyway, knowing they're going to die?" The colonel sounded like he was ready to kill someone if only the right someone were in the room.

"Abortion for a woman is a fairly simple procedure, but for a man, it's apparently much more difficult. As Jonathan explained, they don't have the medical personnel to devote to the procedure, which is apparently even more involved than the assisted birth." She noticed the skeptical looks around the table. "No, I didn't understand that, either, but I also didn't think it was a good idea to debate it with him."

"Thank you, Janet." Daniel had ducked his head the whole time she'd been speaking about Jonathan's child. He raised it only to speak and the looked back down at his hands on the table. For a moment she was reminded of his alternate who'd sat in that same manner, in that same chair just a few days ago.

"Even with that lack, they seem to have an extremely sophisticated level of technology, Doctor." The general glanced at Daniel. "Doctor Jackson, didn't you tell us that their technological level was approximately equal to our own?"

Daniel looked up again, apparently now in control of his emotions. "Yes, sir. Before the invasion, they were very close to us. More advanced in a few areas, like alternative energy, but not as advanced in others. They hadn't made it to their moon, yet, for example." Daniel tapped his pen on his folder. "They did have access to Nirrti's ship. Her jaffa didn't take that one, possibly because it was already in human possession. It did take nearly four years to develop the technology and we've seen ourselves how resourceful people can be when faced with," he shrugged.

"Total annihilation." Teal'c supplied the exactly correct, if terrifying, phrase.

"Yeah. That."

"Which makes the rest of this even stranger." Janet didn't like her growing suspicion. "The results from Lord Daniel's tests were quite different. In order for a fertile man to impregnate a bearing man, he must undergo drug therapy to drastically increase sperm count and motility. Lord Daniel had undergone this therapy less than a week ago, and I was able to isolate some of the residual drugs. In addition to the expected hormonal cocktail, there were several others that I have yet to identify. Nor have I been able to fully identify //why// they were used in the first place."

"What do you mean, Doctor?" The general looked as confused as the others.

"The hormonal cocktail, in addition to some vitamin and mineral treatments, // should// have been enough to stimulate the higher levels required and without most of the reported side effects."

"Side effects?" Daniel leaned forward. "What side effects?"

"I take it he didn't tell you about that." Janet remembered, again, Lord Daniel's flat, unemotional voice as he listed them. Her friend shook his head and glanced at Jack who shrugged. "He reported feeling highly aggressive, which could be caused by higher testosterone levels, but even so, his sounded much too extreme to be just that and it wouldn't account for the mood swings. Also, he shows no other symptoms of overly high testosterone levels. He also said he had memory problems for several days after the therapy in addition to decreased appetite and difficulty achieving delta wave sleep, which then results in fatigue. He said the drugs made him feel out of control." She decided she'd hold off on mentioning the nightmares he'd have during those nights. They didn't seem important other than to show that he was reaching REM sleep. "He also showed some minor neurological degradation and admitted to being a little clumsier than he used to be."

"Is he going to be alright?" Daniel's concern was evident. Janet wasn't quite sure how to answer him but decided truth was the best bet.

"To be honest, I don't know. I wouldn't let a patient of mine continue a therapy with this level of side effects, but that isn't exactly an option for him."

"Janet." Sam had been fairly quiet during the briefing and Janet wondered just how she was coping. "Could some of these symptoms have been caused by the virus?"

"Lord Daniel never contracted the virus. I compared the antibodies in his blood with those from Jonathan's, who did have it, and Lord Daniel's was clear."

"How could you tell?" The colonel's question showed genuine curiosity, which intrigued Janet. He rarely seemed to care about 'all that sciencey stuff' as he called it. She sometimes forgot the keen mind that lurked behind the sarcasm and occasionally juvenile humor.

"Their Earth seems to have produced very similar pathogens to ours. I was able to identify and eliminate all but one, so until I can get more definitive data, I feel confident that this one is the antibody to Nirrti's virus." Now she was down to her guessing, which she hated to do, but this whole thing was fishier than the colonel's pond. "Sir, nothing about this adds up. Viruses need a vector, they need, for want of a better word, a host."

"When the other Daniel first appeared, he said he wasn't a carrier." Sam's quiet voice told Janet she was thinking.

"Right. So who is?" Janet saw dawning comprehension on several faces. "If I were in charge of a planet-wide catastrophe of this nature, one of the first things I'd do is to try and isolate anyone found to be carrying the virus. Any society capable of the kind of medical miracles this one is capable of should find that fairly easy to do. So why are children still getting sick? They haven't found an animal or insect carrying it. Yet, Lord Daniel told me that almost //every// child catches the virus within days of birth. Most survive, but the oldest boy born in this way is only seven years old. It could be another seven years before they'll be able to see if he's fertile or not."

"So, someone's doing this //to// them?" Janet felt a chill run down her spine at the colonel's cold tone and even colder eyes. He was taking this personally and she thought it was for more reasons than he realized.

"It's Nirrti. She's still alive. We have to tell them, general." Daniel had //that// look on his face. Sam called it his 'I know you're going to tell me it's impossible, but you know I'm right' look. She also cheerfully told Janet that it made her want to hurt him very badly since it was usually aimed at her. Mostly because he usually //was// right.

"Doctor Jackson, our guests were adamant that Nirrti was dead. Her host was well- known and the body was seen by many people." General Hammond didn't sound convinced of his own argument.

"Not if she moved to a male host, first.

"Shit." //My thoughts exactly, Colonel.//

~*~

CHAPTER 10

"Daniel?" Daniel turned from his study door and smiled at Ian through the nagging headache he'd had for a couple of days. "Daniel, do you have a few minutes?" Daniel looked more closely at his third consort and realized he was upset.

"Of course, Ian," he reached for the door, "let's go." Ian's firm grip on his arm startled Daniel. Ian was a slight man, barely reaching Daniel's chin. Running the household had mostly fallen to him simply because he was the only one of the four of them who seemed to have an aptitude for it. Running a household like this, and in recent years, most of the estate, was a major undertaking that often involved matters far beyond the front door but Ian managed it like he'd been born to it. It kept him busy but required no physical labor on his part. Fortunately, his knack for organization and ability to match people with jobs meant he was left some time for his art. Not as much as he'd like, but enough for the time being. His beautiful sculptures and paintings were scattered throughout the house and commissions were starting to come in more and more often. His work was gaining popularity throughout Cascadia and beyond. He had an apprentice he was training to take over as a proper steward, but until that time, he was happy to take the burden off the others. Not to mention being unwilling to suffer through Jose's and Jonathan's frankly inept handling of household matters. Either one could handle things for a week or two, but beyond that they risked loosing good staff who just couldn't take it any more.

"No!" Ian's shout was as uncharacteristic as his hard grip and the pain in his head ratcheted up a notch. Daniel knew he hadn't had much time for his husbands since returning from the other Earth, but surely that was no reason for Ian's emotional state. "Please. Not in there. Can we go somewhere else?"

"Of course, sweetheart. How about your office?" He would have suggested the bedroom but Jonathan was resting and he got the feeling that Ian wanted to talk with him alone. Ian had miscarried a few months ago and the doctor wanted him to wait a little longer before trying again. Maybe that's what this was about. He seemed to have been handling it pretty well, but these things sometimes reared their heads at the strangest times.

Ian nodded in relief. "My office. Yes, that's perfect." Seeing him more at ease, Daniel slipped his arm around the smaller man's waist, kissed his temple and turned down the corridor to Ian's domain. Whatever was bothering Ian might be easier to face in a room where he was Lord rather than just married to one.

Daniel released the other man as they went through the doorway. He'd always loved this office, even back when Mrs. Amberson had held sway. She'd been a stern mistress for his home and had constantly clucked over his slightest indiscretion. In the manner of family retainers everywhere, she seemed more concerned about the family she served than the family itself. Not that Daniel had been a bad kid, but he hadn't actually been the model heir, either. His general indifference to girls aside, he hadn't been particularly interested in politics or in finance or in any of the other fields considered acceptable for a man of his station. His habit of slipping away from his bodyguards didn't help, either. She'd shaken her head and warned him that nothing good could come from his fancies. Told him that if he didn't watch himself he'd grow up to be just another useless lordling like that good for nothing Westridge. She'd been right about one thing, at least. The current Lord Westridge was about as useless as a man could be. The people of Westridge were lucky he had a cousin willing and able to take care of things.

It wasn't until the day he'd brought home an injured woman he'd found by the roadside that she finally seemed to begin to understand her strange charge. He'd been about fourteen and had gone for a bike ride, after escaping, again, from his stifling bodyguard, when he saw a woman on the side of the road. She was walking doggedly, but apparently not really looking where she was going. He passed her once but something made him turn around to get a better look. That was when he noticed that her clothes had once been of decent quality, but now were old and dirty and it looked like they'd been recently torn. Her hair was tangled and dirty but it didn't look like it had been that way for long. He knew there were poor people in the district and his parents did what they could to help them, but he'd never actually met one. There was something about this woman that was off kilter. That's when he got a good look at her face. It was bruised and there was dried blood near her mouth and nose and one eye was blackened and swollen almost shut. Her skin was pale beneath the smudges but it was her eyes that got to him. They were haunted and filled with more pain than he could have imagined. He'd asked her if there was anything he could do and she shied away from him, almost falling into the ditch. She just sat there rocking and begging him not to hurt her any more. Daniel had been at a complete loss. He had no idea what to do, but he knew he couldn't leave her out by the road. He'd finally convinced her that he wasn't the one who'd hurt her and urged her to get up and walk with him to the house. It wasn't far and he figured walking would be better than being left alone while he got help.

He'd taken her immediately to Mrs. Amberson. For all that he was a little frightened of that formidable woman, he couldn't think of anyone, besides his mother who was out of town with his father, more capable of taking care of his new friend. He'd rushed the woman into this very office, surprising Mrs. Amberson who'd been in the process of dressing down one of the maids for something or other. Daniel had figured he'd be in trouble for sure over this, but he wasn't going to let someone else suffer for that. He remembered how he'd squared his shoulders and politely asked for a moment of Mrs. Amberson's time as he urged the stranger to sit on the sofa near the door. She'd stopped in mid-tirade, said "Of course, Lord Cascadia," in the same tone she used with his father and dismissed poor Conners. When he explained what had happened, the woman had started to cry and rock. The usually stern Mrs. Amberson had then folded her impressive bulk next to the stranger, taken her in her arms and rocked along with her with more gentleness than he'd ever suspected her capable of and looked at him with that same uncharacteristic gentleness. Daniel had never seen that look on her face before, but he remembered that after that, he'd seen it from time to time and always directed at him when she thought he wasn't looking. In a softer voice than he had thought possible for her, she'd asked him to find Mrs. Felts and send her in with her medical bag. As he turned to leave, she said one last thing that he'd never forgotten, "Thank you, boy. We'll take care of her." She'd paused to murmur to the woman in her arms and then stopped him before he got through the door. "Daniel? I think you're going to be just fine, boy. Just fine." He'd never seen the injured woman again, but later discovered Mrs. Amberson had sent her to live with her own sister who ran an orchard outside of Portland.

"Daniel?" He started and realized he'd been lost in thought while Ian had opened the blinds and cleared off the sofa. //I remember when I bought that for him.// Absurdly, he was glad it wasn't the same one as he sat down rubbing his head in an attempt to ease the persistent pain. He patted the space right next to him inviting the other man to sit close.

"Sorry, Ian. This room always brings back memories. I think I just got lost for a moment." He smiled and put his arm around his consort, holding him close. "Now, what's this all about?" He tipped the other man's chin up and placed a quick kiss on his lips. "Or is this just a ploy to get me alone?" Ian laughed at his tease and snuggled into his arms.

"That's not a bad idea, now that you mention it." For the first time in days Daniel felt the first stirrings of his libido as his consort teased him back. He had an aversion to sex right after doing his duty and always welcomed the return of desire. He'd once spoken about it to his doctor, but had been assured that it wasn't caused by the drugs. Daniel had never mentioned it to the man again. He didn't want to see the pity in his eyes. Daniel began to caress the man in his arms and leaned down for a more intense kiss, the pain fading away. Ian surged against his body returning the kiss with matching passion before pulling away. "Ian? Are you all right? Did I hurt you?" Daniel felt close to panic at the thought. He was so used to Jonathan who was bigger than Daniel and solidly built. Jose, too, was large enough to not make Daniel worry that he might hurt him accidentally. Ian's slight stature always worried Daniel. He was so afraid he'd be too forceful in the passion of the moment and injure him. Jonathan always hugged him and told him Ian was tougher than he looked and that he wasn't going to break, but that didn't seem to help. "I'm fine, Daniel, really." Ian stroked Daniel's face to take some of the sting out of his withdrawal from their intimate embrace. Daniel caught his hand and placed a gentle kiss in the palm before clasping it. "It's just that we need to talk and if we'd kept going, we'd both be snoring before long."

"Nonsense, Ian. //I// don't snore." Daniel had heard this rumor before, but surely he'd know if he snored.

"Oh, right." Ian smothered a chuckle. "How silly of me."

Daniel settled back on the sofa and again pulled Ian into his arms smiling as he did so. "So, out with it. What is it you need to talk with me about? It must be terribly important if you'd rather talk than have sex." He felt rather than heard Ian's chuckle as the man shifted to look into Daniel's face. He bit down on his irritation at being rebuffed. He was overly sensitive these days and didn't want to take it out on his husbands.

"I need you to promise me something, dear heart." Of all of them, Ian was the least prone to endearments and pet names.

"If it's within my power and harms no one, sweetheart, it's yours."

"I need you to promise me that you'll get rid of that //thing// in your study." Daniel stared into Ian's gray eyes and gently stroked his hair back from his forehead.

"Ah, babe, please ask me for something else." Ian broke Daniel's gaze, anger evident in his expression. "You've got to understand, those people Jonathan and I met there could be the key to saving us all. I //can't// let it go." His consort struggled out of Daniel's arms and stormed across the room where he began to pace rapidly. "Ian, please talk to me."

Ian stopped suddenly, facing Daniel. "You were //gone//," he blurted. He took a couple of steps toward Daniel before sinking into one of the armchairs in front of his desk. "I'd been looking everywhere for you. Beecham said you'd gone to your study, but no one saw you leave." Daniel watched the man as he gripped the armrests like he was hanging onto a wild horse. He was shocked at the fear in Ian's face. "I knocked, but you didn't answer. I was worried so I went into your study and that," Ian swallowed and looked like he was about to faint. "That //thing// was uncovered and I saw strangers looking back at me, but they weren't in the room and it wasn't your study..." Daniel strode over to the sideboard and poured a glass of water from the pitcher before going to Ian who'd started to hyperventilate.

"Easy, hon, shhh, just relax, it's okay." Daniel pulled Ian's hand from where he was gripping the chair and gave him the glass. While Ian took a drink, Daniel pulled him as close as he could and stroked him, murmuring quietly to soothe him. He felt the other man slowly relax. "Better now?" Ian nodded and leaned over to put his glass on his desk. Ian nodded. He rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. Daniel heard him mutter something, but couldn't quite make it out. He rested his hand on Ian's back and began what he hoped was soothing motion and tried to will his own rising pain away. Ian needed him, he didn't have time for that. "I'm sorry, hon, I didn't catch that."

"I said, I'm scared, Daniel." He looked up and met Daniel's eyes. "Jose is, too, but he'll never say it." Daniel's mind raced trying to figure out what Ian was talking about. He felt like he was falling or maybe had just forgotten how to breathe. Something was about to happen and he was powerless to stop it.

"Tell me, Ian. What are you both afraid of?" He was amazed he'd managed to keep his voice steady. He felt like he was about to break into a million pieces. The pain in his head was almost blinding. He thought encouraging Ian and Jose to form their own relationship was the right thing for them. It gave them at least the illusion of normality without having to constantly compare the way he treated them to how he was with Jonathan. He couldn't help how he felt and he wouldn't apologize, but he could and did give his other consorts as much freedom to be together as they desired. They'd moved into the same suite within a year of his marriage to Ian. He'd thought they'd been happy with him. He treated them as more than breeding stock, which was better than some bearing men had it. He'd become occasional lovers with each of them as they desired him. It did make the breeding sex more enjoyable since he knew how to please his lover. He thought it made it easier for them, too. He never demanded their presence in his bed, nor did he ever go uninvited into their suite. These days, if Ian or Jose wanted to spend the night with him, Jonathan would grumble, kiss them both and go and sleep with the other one saying he wasn't used to sleeping alone anymore. Daniel //thought// they'd found a way to be happy with the situation forced on them. What if he was wrong?

"We're afraid of //losing// you, damn it!" Ian shouted. He slammed a fist down on the empty chair arm. "Do you have //any// idea what it's like for us? What you mean to us?" Ian must have seen the confusion Daniel felt because he continued at a more normal decibel level. "And I don't just mean that we care for you, because we do, but that's only part of it and I think you know it."

"I'm not, um." Daniel was horrified to hear his voice breaking and felt tears welling up in his eyes. He stood up abruptly and walked back toward the sofa. He stopped in front of it, wrapped his arms around his chest and stared out at the courtyard. Daniel cleared his throat and tried again. "I'm not sure, Ian. I'm really not sure //what// you mean." Strong arms wrapped around him and Ian turned Daniel to face him before pulling him in to hold him tightly. Daniel freed his arms and wrapped them around his consort and rested his head on Ian's shoulder. //Why did I ever think Ian was fragile?// They stood together for a moment and Daniel allowed himself to be comforted by the younger man. Finally he pulled back and brushed the moisture off of his face. "I'm sorry, Ian. I don't know what's wrong with me. Other than this rotten headache."

"No, Daniel, I'm sorry, I wanted to talk about this, but so far I've only managed to have a panic attack and scare the shit out of you. Are you hurting badly? Can I get you something?" Ian smiled a little and Daniel shook his head at the offer as he felt a great weight lift. If he could joke like that it didn't sound like he was planning on leaving him. "C'mon, lets sit down and start over. I have to admit I already feel better, but I think we still need to talk." They sat as they had before with Daniel's arm around Ian and Ian snuggling close, his head resting against the taller man's shoulder. "If something were to happen to any one of the three of us," Daniel smiled when Ian put one finger over Daniel's lips. He figured he'd picked that up from Jonathan. "Let me finish." Daniel nodded and, as he would with Jonathan, kissed Ian's finger. "Don't try to distract me." They both chuckled at that and then Ian sobered and started again. "If something were to happen to one of the three of us, the rest of you would go on. Our sons would be secure and while the survivors would be sad, nothing much would change." Daniel started to speak, but a quick headshake from Ian stopped him. "If something were to happen to //you// all bets are off."

"How can you say that?" Daniel couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could Ian believe such a thing? "No matter what happens to me, you three and our sons would still live here. Nick would become Lord Cascadia and you'd be his guardians." He hugged his consort close. "Sweetheart, is that what's got you scared? I thought you understood this. This is your //home//! It will always //be// your home. No one can take that away from you!"

"Oh, Daniel, you're not hearing me." Ian ran his hand across Daniel's chest and up to his shoulder letting his arm rest across his body. "I know this is our home and that you and Jose and Jonathan and I are family. I don't think I can ever express what that kind of security means to me." Ian's words washed over Daniel leaving him almost drunk with relief. He enjoyed the feeling of Ian in his arms all the while cursing his wayward libido. His headache had died to a dull throb. //We all need a vacation.//This was the wrong time to be noticing how much enjoyed his youngest husband's scent and the weight of Ian's body against his. "But Daniel, you mean something else to us." Ian nuzzled Daniel's throat a little and pressed a light kiss on the spot where his whiskers had rubbed. "I see the men who are sent to you." Daniel stiffened. "Dear heart, who do you think coordinates the schedules with the Repro Council? With your doctor?" Daniel closed his eyes. He never knew. He'd never asked. The council letter would appear on his desk and he'd never given any thought to it. He hadn't wanted to know. He'd always wanted to shield his men from that part of his life. He'd never wanted to expose them to his shame. He'd failed. "Daniel, I talk to them before and sometimes... after."

Daniel tried to speak, but his mouth was desert dry. He tried again and managed to croak, "You talk to them?" He was horrified at the thought of gentle Ian trying to pick up the pieces after what was tantamount to rape.

Daniel felt Ian shift in his arms and then felt hands cradling his face. "Daniel, please look at me." Daniel could no more ignore that gentle voice than he could stop his heart from beating. He opened his eyes and looked into Ian's loving face. Perhaps what they felt for each other wasn't as deep as what they each felt for their partners, but Daniel realized in that moment that they did love each other.

"How can you bear to look at me?" Daniel whispered. He'd asked Jonathan that time after time and Jonathan had always reassured him. He had always forgiven him while in the same breath insisting there was nothing to forgive.

"What, you don't have any mirrors in your suite?" Ian chuckled and planted a kiss on Daniel's nose. "I'll order one for you."

"Don't //joke// about this!" Daniel couldn't believe Ian's cavalier attitude. He began to wonder if he knew the man at all. He felt the rage surfacing. He had to get away from Ian. He had to protect him. Daniel squirmed away from the other man and leapt to his feet. He was halfway to the door when Ian's voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Why are you running away, Daniel?" Daniel heard panting and then realized it was himself. //Guess it's my turn for the panic attack.// He felt an almost hysterical giggle start, but feared if he started, he'd never stop. He had to answer, but he didn't know how.

"I-I, um," he swallowed hard and tried again. "I'm, I'm angry. I need to, to get away. Need to protect you." There, he'd said it. He still hadn't turned around to look at Ian. He wasn't sure he wanted to. What would he see in his face? Laughter? Disgust? Or, worst of all, pity? "I never wanted you to know." He whispered. He raised his hands to his throbbing temples. The pain was beating at him, but maybe he deserved it.

"We understood that, Daniel. That's why Jose and I never mentioned it to you." //Oh, god,// Daniel thought, //Jose knows, too.// He closed his eyes and wondered what they said when they talked about him. Did they laugh at his ineffectual attempts to hide his guilt? Was that why they'd moved into the same suite? So they'd have protection if he tried to force one of them? //When did it get so cold in here?// There was a sound behind him, but the roaring in his ears kept him from identifying it. Daniel yelled as if he'd been burned when Ian touched his arm. "Don't touch me! Don't come near me!" He could feel the hysteria rising and there wasn't anything he could do to stop it. He backed away from Ian until he bumped into the wall. Daniel scrabbled against the wall with one hand searching for the doorknob, never taking his eyes off Ian. He tried to step closer to it, but his knees folded instead and he slid down the wall landing on his butt with a bone-jarring thump. Daniel sat on the floor breathing heavily. Something was wrong with him, but he couldn't figure it out. Couldn't think. He felt like he was going mad.

"Daniel!" Ian rushed to his side but Daniel couldn't find the breath to tell him to stay back. "Are you hurt? Daniel, look at me." Ian ran his hands over the back of Daniel's head. "Did you hit your head? Talk to me, damn it!"

"H-hot. It's hot." Daniel swallowed and tried to control his breathing. He wondered how it had gotten so hot all the sudden. //Need to have the unit checked. Can't have it going out with winter coming.// He realized Ian was touching him. How could the other man bear it? "I need," more harsh breaths interrupted him.

"What do you need, babe? Tell me so I can help you."

"I need..." Daniel cursed silently. Ian kept asking questions and he didn't have any answers. If only he didn't feel so hot, so dirty, maybe he could think and figure out the answer. Ian deserved that. They all did. They deserved so much better than he could offer.

"C'mon, babe, tell me what you want me to do. Let me help you." Ian stroked his hair and gripped his hand. Daniel looked up and caught his eyes. They were worried and Daniel saw tears gathering.

"I've hurt you." He started to wipe away the tears, but pulled back. He was so filthy, he didn't want to get Ian dirty, too. "Please, I need to go," Daniel swallowed back a sob, "Need to go to my room, now." That was it, he needed to go upstairs. Then he could strip off his dirty clothes, get into the bath and scrub and scrub and scrub the filth away.

"Oh, Daniel." Ian turned his head to wipe his face on his shoulder and Daniel realized he'd spoken out loud.

"I'm sorry, Ian. I don't want to get you dirty, too." He watched intently as the younger man nodded and then reached over to pull open the door. Daniel hoped he'd leave so he'd be safe. He didn't want anything to happen to anyone else, least of all his husbands or... "Wait! Ian!" A new wave of panic gripped him. "Please, get the boys out of the way. I don't want them to see me. Please, don't let them see me," he begged. He couldn't be with them right now, he might get them dirty, too.

"Shhh, dear heart, the boys aren't here, remember?" Daniel tried to figure out what Ian was talking about. He couldn't figure out why the other man would say something like that. "Remember, hon? They went to visit your father a few days ago?" Daniel's panic eased and he nodded, his father would take care of them. He'd keep them safe and clean. That was okay. Clean was good. He didn't think he'd ever be clean again.

Ian half stood, still gripping Daniel's hand and wrenched the door open with the other. "Parker! Get Beecham in here, now!" Daniel watched as if in a dream. He knew he was sitting on the floor, but couldn't remember why.

"Ian? What's going on?" He thought he should be concerned by the tone in his voice, but it was like it was happening to someone else.

"It's okay, Daniel, everything's going to be fine." Daniel felt himself nod and couldn't find any reason to stop, so he kept nodding until Ian's hand on his cheek stilled the motion. "Babe, you're," Daniel watched as Ian composed himself. He seemed upset by something, but Daniel had no idea what it might be. "You're not well. I've called for Beecham and we'll get you upstairs in a few minutes." The hand was back on Daniel's cheek and he leaned into it. He thought he should be in pain, but couldn't remember why. Daniel heard someone muttering, but couldn't quite place it. It felt so good to be touched. To be wanted and cared for. He hoped whatever was bothering Ian wasn't too bad. Daniel was so tired, he didn't think he'd be much help at the moment. Maybe tomorrow.

"Sir, you needed me?" Contentment flooded through Daniel. Beecham would take care of it. Whatever problem Ian had, Beecham would help him with it. Running an estate this size was a big job. Ian did it well, but Beecham was always there to support him. Daniel wanted to reassure Ian and let him know that it was okay to rely on the older servant, but talking seemed like much too much work right then.

"Beecham, excellent. Lord Cascadia isn't feeling well. Could you help me get him to his rooms?"

"Of course, sir." Daniel barely noticed when Ian grabbed him under one arm as Beecham grabbed the other and they pulled him to his feet. He swayed there feeling almost drunk. "Sir, if you can stay with him for a moment, I'll have Parker clear the way." Beecham's voice stopped for a moment. "His Lordship wouldn't want to have his passage disturb anyone's work unnecessarily."

"Good thinking, Beecham. I've got him." Daniel marveled at how thoughtful Beecham was. His servants worked hard to take care of him and his family and Beecham knew Daniel hated to get in their way. Daniel's head wobbled up and he looked at where he was.

"Uh-oh." He knew he was in trouble now. "M'sh Ambershon ishn't gonna be happy with me. I'm not sh'poshed t'be here."

"It's all right, my lord." That was Beecham's voice again. He looked around until he saw him. "I spoke with her myself, my lord, she understands that you weren't feeling well and isn't angry with you."

"'Kay. Th'nksh, Beesh'm." Daniel was walking now, but it was dreamlike. He could hear that muttering again, but couldn't be bothered to tell them to keep quiet and let him sleep. He looked up at the stairs and hoped his father didn't catch him the next time he tried to slide down the banister. With one last sigh, he closed his eyes and slept.

~*~

CHAPTER 11

"Jack, of course it has to be me!" Daniel couldn't believe they were having this argument again. He stuffed the laptop in his bag and checked to make sure he had all the files and reports Janet had given him. "We can't be certain that the children are being infected deliberately." He raised his hand to forestall the inevitable rebuttal. "It //looks// like it, but it's not a sure thing." He slung his bag over his shoulder and started for his office door with his friend stalking unhappily beside him. "Janet thinks it's highly likely that I have the same natural immunity that Lord Daniel does. If you go and we're wrong about the continuing presence of Niriti's virus, you'll catch it and probably get very sick."

"And what if Frasier's wrong about your immunity? Didja think of that?" Jack shouted, startling several people in the corridor. Daniel stopped and watched Jack continue down the corridor for a couple of steps before whipping around to glare at him.

"Yeah, I did think of that and so did Janet and Sam and Teal'c and the general and probably everyone who's heard about this mission." Daniel was getting serious pissed off with Jack's attitude. Worse, he could hear the hated whiney note creeping into his voice. It's not like he //wanted// to do this alone, but he really didn't have much choice. He was the only one they knew of who had a hope of being able to do this. Even though he was going through in a containment suit, there was no guarantee something wouldn't happen to it. Sending a woman was out of the question entirely. Sending //anyone// they weren't fairly confident could survive just in case they were exposed to the virus was out of the question. Daniel had the best shot. Being known to two people in the other universe didn't hurt, either. "If it happens, Jack, I'll stay until I'm clear of the virus and convince Lord Daniel to come here from time to time to avoid the cascade tremors." Jack still looked unhappy. "Look it was //your// endorsement that got the general to approve this. Why are you so upset that it worked?"

"I didn't intend for you to go alone!" Mother Hen O'Neill strikes again. "I could do it, Daniel. It's not like I'm planning on have children again." Daniel was gratified that Jack had at least lowered his voice.

"Jack, we couldn't ask Jonathan to come back here while you recovered. What if he went into labor while he was here? Janet's not sure she'd know how to handle it, not without doing damage." Jack's face closed down again and Daniel cursed himself for having brought that up.

"But maybe if she was born here," Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and turned back down the corridor to the elevator. Daniel followed, sighing deeply.

"I know, Jack, but we don't know enough yet. Maybe the children are all born with the virus already." A sad smile flitted across Daniel's face. For once he was the one preaching security. "We can't risk exposing //our// Earth to that." They entered the elevator and Jack hit the button for their floor.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate you when you're right?"

Daniel sneaked a look at the man next to him. Jack stood there with his hands in his pockets looking down at the floor.

"Yeah, I think you may have mentioned it a time or two." He smiled, just a little twitch of his lips but stopped when Jack glanced at him. Things had been odd between them since all this started. He'd found himself looking at his friend only to catch him looking back. They'd both look away, but not before Daniel had seen a variety of odd expressions on Jack's face. He wondered what Jack had been seeing. This was supposed to have been the lost weekend they'd planned. Daniel snorted. He and Jack had to be the only people on the planet who would //schedule// a "lost weekend". They'd put it off and he was wishing they hadn't. It was almost all he could think about, he just wasn't sure if what he was feeling was anticipation or gut-wrenching fear.

Daniel's mind had been constantly going over the interplay between Lord Daniel and Jonathan. They looked so //right// together. It had started sending his thoughts places he hadn't gone in a very long time. Places he was frankly uncomfortable with because he wasn't sure where they'd lead if he followed them to what seemed like their natural conclusion. He wasn't sure he was that brave.

Jack jolted into action slapping the stop button and halting their descent. When he faced Daniel his eyes were blazing. "Just promise me you'll be careful." Daniel just nodded, not sure where the //passion// in his friend's expression was coming from. "And if that gate lights up, you hightail it back to the mirror and come home. No fighting their battles for them. Got it?"

"Got it, Jack." He reached out and squeezed his friend's shoulder. "I'll be careful. I'm just going to relay the information we've got and see if I can get some answers to Janet's questions, then I'm coming home." Jack nodded and Daniel released his shoulder. Nothing more was said as they resumed their journey.

Daniel stood patiently watching the scene on the mirror while Janet fussed with his containment suit. So far, Lord Daniel's study was visible, but there'd been no one in it since just after the visitors returned home. He'd been wondering what was keeping Lord Daniel from his study. From their discussions, they shared a similar attitude toward their work and Daniel had given his counterpart a satchel full of information about the Goa'uld language and the political set up as Daniel knew it. Perhaps he was spending his time reading with Jonathan or the others. Daniel had been known to take books or reports to Jack's when Jack wanted to watch hockey. Sometimes it was nice to just share space with someone.

"Okay, Daniel, that's it. Remember, you've got twelve hours of air at normal activity levels, no more." Janet stepped back and Jack handed him the suit's helmet. "I've got to get back to the infirmary, now, but call me if you need anything. Good luck."

"Thanks, Janet. Hopefully your services won't be needed." Daniel smiled at the doctor.

"See to it, Daniel. You're a terrible patient. Not to mention that you come with even worse accoutrements." Aiming a sour look at Jack, she turned and left, with nothing but the receding sound of her heels in the corridor to fill the sudden silence.

"I hope you stopped by the men's room before you got into that." Daniel glared at Jack who smiled evilly at him. Jack wouldn't take on Janet if possible, but apparently Daniel was fair game. Of course Daniel was always fair game.

"Gee, Jack, no, wanna help me out of this so I can go?" Daniel decided Jack was going to pay for that one since //now// he wished he could go again before stepping through. He really didn't care much for the internal plumbing in these things, but it was too late now. No way would he give Jack the satisfaction. Instead he pulled on the helmet and closed the connections.

"Can you hear me, Daniel?" Sam's voice was loud and clear over the internal radio. Not that it would matter since he planned to do without that once on the other side. He did have a radio to give to Lord Daniel to make it easier, but figured they wouldn't need it as long as they both spoke loudly. With a thumb's up in her direction he picked up his satchel, and turned to the mirror. Janet's people had set up a decontamination unit around it so when he came back through there would be less risk of bringing anything unwanted back with him. He'd argued that it wasn't necessary since Lord Daniel and Jonathan hadn't brought the virus with them when they came through. Janet had just cocked her head and looked up at him with her hands on her hips. Even Teal'c had been known to stand down when Janet gave him //that// look. With one last look at the others, he stepped up to the mirror and touched it.

Daniel turned around immediately once he was through to make sure there was no one else in the room. Conscious of the rest of his team watching him, he walked slowly around the room taking it all in. He stopped for a brief moment in front of the formal portrait of his father. //No,// he thought, //Lord Daniel's father//. He reminded himself to call him Lord Cascadia while he was here. Daniel stopped a moment by the windows and looked out at the stargate in the garden. He shuddered at the thought of it sitting there right by the house. He shook off the image of hordes of Jaffa pouring through and taking control of this house and headed for the door instead. Daniel tried the door but found it locked. He turned back to the mirror and saw Jack and Sam looking back at him. Jack held his hands out to his sides, apparently asking what the hold up was. Daniel mimed what he hoped would convey that the door was locked. It apparently worked since Jack shrugged and mimed something back. Daniel shrugged and did as he suggested. Not that he could think of anything else. He felt foolish, but he knocked on the door and waited, hoping someone was out there to open it.

Daniel tried pressing his ear against the door but he couldn't hear a thing through the damned suit. He turned back to the mirror and shrugged again then raised his hand to knock once more. When nothing happened, he wandered back to the desk, thinking he'd look for a spare key. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and saw Jack looking at him like he'd gone crazy. //Yeah, Jack. Breaking down the door is a great way to win friends and influence people.// He'd save that for a last resort. He grinned, though, at the irony of it. He'd stepped from one universe to another only to be stopped by the lock on an ordinary wooden door. And now he found that the desk was locked, too. Lord Daniel was apparently careful with his work.

Daniel shifted the satchel on his shoulder and turned back to the mirror. Maybe he should go and come back later when someone was in the room. Jack waved his hands and pointed behind him. Daniel turned in time to see the doorknob move. He gave the others a quick thumb's up and went back to stand a few feet back from the doorway. He suspected he was going to look pretty bizarre to anyone who came in and he didn't want to be right on top of them when they did.

The door opened revealing the shocked expression of a wiry, gray-eyed man. He was a few inches shorter than Daniel and held a bundle of keys. He wondered if the man was a servant. Probably a fairly highly placed one if he had keys to the master's study. Daniel smiled even though he didn't think it would matter much through the facemask. Just as he started to speak, another man arrived, shoving the first out of the way and pointing what looked remarkably like a shotgun at Daniel's chest.

"Oh, hey, that's not necessary," Daniel already had his hands up and made eye contact with the newcomer. He was almost Daniel's height, with deep brown eyes and black hair. He looked Hispanic. "My name is Daniel Jackson and I just came through the mirror." //Oh, yeah, that's helping.// The gray-eyed man looked terrified and the dark-eyed man with the gun just looked angrier. "Look, is your name Jose? If it is, then you should know that // your// Daniel Jackson met me and my friends a few days ago." That didn't seem to faze the man with the gun at all. The other man, though, seemed to be calming down and was speaking quietly and rapidly to his companion. Unfortunately, the damnable suit prevented Daniel from hearing what was being said.

"We don't know that, Ian!" //Okay, that answers that, but he sure doesn't look like how Lord Daniel described him,// Daniel thought. "He could be an imposter sent here to do god knows what. How do we know he didn't make Daniel sick on purpose!"

"Hey, wait, did you say your Daniel's sick?" //Oh, god, what if we were wrong.// "He was fine when he left us. Our doctor checked them both out and they were both //fine//!" The gray-eyed man, Ian, was speaking again, apparently becoming more confident because his voice was louder than before, but not loud enough yet to make out more than a few disjointed sounds from this distance. The man's manner, though added credence to Daniel's notion that he was facing Lord Daniel's other consorts.

"No, Ian!" The man Daniel was almost certain was Jose was getting angrier and angrier. Daniel figured he was simply frightened but that shotgun could do a great deal of damage if he got frightened enough. A stray thought intruded and informed him that Jose's slight accent was more Spanish than Mexican, though physically he didn't look European. Daniel shut that down. This was no time for linguistic and anthropological puzzles. "Why is he dressed like that? How long until the rest of us get sick like Daniel? I'm not letting him out of this room and I'm not letting him go until he tells us what's wrong with Daniel and how to cure him!" For the thousandth time since he first wore one of the blasted suits, Daniel wished it were easier to see through. Maybe if Jose saw him clearly enough, it might keep him from killing a man who looked like his husband.

"Wait, wait, wait! We didn't //do// anything to him! We only want to help." Daniel was starting to get a little desperate. He mentally measured the distance back to the mirror and his heart sank when he realized he'd never make it in time. He subtly turned his head a little, trying not to turn the mask covering his face. It was just enough that he could see the mirror out of the corner of his eye. Sam was there, but no Jack. //Damnit, Jack! Don't you dare!// Daniel knew what was going on and he had to put and end to this before Jack risked himself. Turning back to the gunman, Daniel tried again, "Look! What can I do to prove to you that I'm not here to hurt you?" He tried to keep his voice calm, but wasn't sure he managed it. Sweat was dripping into his eyes and he wouldn't be surprised if the other two men could hear his heart pounding. Time to try something else. "You're Jose, right? An-an-and you're Ian, right? I know that because //your// Daniel and Jonathan // told// me about you. Why, //why// would they do that if they thought we were a threat to you?"

"They wouldn't!" Ian spoke out for the first time. He seemed to have conquered his fear or maybe just realized things were getting out of hand. Daniel watched as he stepped between Daniel and Jose. Daniel hoped Ian wasn't just suicidal. "Please, Jose, don't do this. Think of what it would do to Daniel when he finds out." Apparently not suicidal. The gun didn't lower, but Jose's body language was easing, he'd stopped reacting and had started listening.

"Why is he wearing that suit, Ian? What's he afraid of? If he's really just like Daniel, he's immune to Compton's virus." Jose's voice was calmer, which Daniel hoped meant he'd survive this. He really hated getting shot at.

"Our doctors couldn't pinpoint the element in your Daniel's blood that gave him his immunity. They //think// I'd be immune, but they're not certain. We can't afford to risk me taking it back with me to //our// world." Daniel did his sly peek at the mirror again and Sam was still there. "Look! Look at the mirror!" He took the risk and turned a little bit toward it to draw the other men's attention to it. "See?" Both men took a good look for the first time. Jose's arms dropped along with his jaw. Ian didn't look any better. "That's my friend Samantha Carter. She prefers everyone call her Sam." Seeing that he had their full attention and the shotgun wasn't pointed at his chest any more, Daniel took a risk and waved a "hello" to Sam. Maybe if he made his world more real, it would help them connect with him. She smiled and waved back. Jose and Ian almost smiled back, but they were still in shock. Ian managed a little wave and Sam returned it. She seemed to have realized what he was up to and played along. Daniel turned back to his companions. "I can't risk her." Daniel's panic faded and his voice reflected that. Daniel watched while Sam gestured to someone out of sight and then Janet walked into view. "That's Janet. She's the doctor who examined your Daniel and Jonathan. She has a lovely daughter named Cassie." Janet waved, too and both men returned it with more confidence than before.

"They're real." The wonder in Jose's voice nearly broke Daniel's heart. "They're beautiful."

"Yes. Yes, they are. They're real and they're beautiful and they're very much alive. They're my friends. I can't let them be hurt. I have to protect them however I can."

"Jose, listen to him. He even //sounds// like Daniel." Ian put his hand on the barrel of the gun and pointed it down at the floor. "We need to take the chance. Maybe they can help us. Maybe they can help //Daniel//." Jose just nodded and stared at the women in Daniel's universe.

"I bought copies of Janet's records with me for your doctors to look at." Daniel hefted his satchel, but they weren't really paying any attention to him any more. Daniel tried his most persuasive tone. "Your Daniel told us that most of your medical science is devoted to reproduction. Maybe she's found something that your doctors simply don't have the resources any more to uncover. We just want to help you. Please, let us help."

Ian turned away from the mirror with obvious reluctance and took the gun from Jose's hands. Daniel couldn't help the relieved sigh that escaped. Jose's shocked gasp had him jerking back around to see what was happening back home before the image fully registered he heard a shocked "Wow!" from Jose. Daniel looked back at Jose and was surprised to see an appreciative look on his face. Looking back at the mirror and feeling a little like he was a tennis match, he found Jack standing in front of the mirror in boots, pants and a t-shirt with a containment suit helmet in his hands and a P-90 strung around his neck. "Oh, no. No!" Daniel approached the mirror and shook his head violently while trying to convey that everything was under control now. Daniel looked around and saw Ian standing behind him and to one side still holding the shotgun. "Ian, please, put the gun down. Jack has a very bad habit of shooting first and asking questions later. He won't do anything unless he thinks I'm in danger."

"Oh! Right. That sounds very familiar." Ian stepped up next to Daniel and held the gun up sideways in his hands showing Jack he couldn't fire it in that position. Then he slowly bent down, placed it on the floor and backed away a few steps. "He's hot. You're a lucky man."

Daniel's double take wasn't missed by his friends. Janet was leaning against Sam and laughing so hard she probably needed the support. Daniel closed his eyes and groaned. He'd forgotten that she could read lips, a legacy of a stint she did in a V.A. hospital. Probably why they'd called her back down to the containment area. Soon Sam was trying, not very successfully, to stifle her laughter while Jack looked like he'd taken a punch. Daniel raised his hands to his sides and shook his head helplessly. Jack snarled something to the two women who promptly tried to straighten up and compose themselves. They weren't altogether successful. Jack finally just looked disgusted with the two of them and held his mask up as if asking if Daniel needed help. Daniel shook his head hard and waved his hands in front of him in a negative gesture. Jack drummed his fingers on his P-90 for a moment, then tossed the mask to someone Daniel couldn't see. He gave Daniel a "carry on" motion and then turned to probably bark at whoever else was in the room.

"Oh, boy. He's not happy at all." Jose had come up to stand next to Ian. Daniel nodded. Jose was right. Jack was very unhappy at the moment. He'd get over it. "But Ian's right. He's very hot. Can't wait for Jonathan's hair to go completely silver if //that's// what he's going to look like." Daniel hung his head. This was going to be a very long twelve hours.

~*~

CHAPTER 12

Jonathan relaxed into his chair. His back ached, but there'd be no relief for it in the foreseeable future. Daniel was sleeping again so he felt able to leave the bedroom, but he couldn't bring himself to leave the suite. Devon was still there. As Jonathan was the man in the district closest to delivering, there would, hopefully, be no call on his services in the next week or so. Jonathan shut his mind down on the subject of his impending delivery. That was the last thing he wanted to think about. The medics in the district had been put on alert to handle any accidents or ordinary illnesses that cropped up in the meantime. If necessary, the doctor would go, but only if it was something beyond their skills.

The past twenty hours had been trying. Ian and Jose had been there with him, but they'd both gone to take a break and stretch their legs once Daniel had calmed down some. Beecham moved quietly through the suite clearing away stray dishes and straightening up scattered blankets and pillows. Jose and Ian had been camping out there with him for the duration. Jonathan suspected Beecham had no intention of leaving, either. He'd remained at hand since he'd helped Ian carry an unconscious Daniel upstairs. Jonathan certainly wouldn't tell him to leave. He needed the old servant's calming presence. And occasionally, his was the only voice Daniel would respond to. At some level that angered Jonathan, but he buried the jealousy and reminded himself that Beecham had known Daniel since childhood. Given his husband's confusion, Jonathan was grateful someone could reach him at all. He tried to be grateful, at least.

"Sir, do you require anything?" Jonathan opened his eyes to see Beecham standing near his chair. The man looked as exhausted as Jonathan felt and so pale he feared the man would pass out. He started to shake his head as the thought of food turned his stomach at the moment, then something occurred to him.

"Yes, Beecham, I require that you sit down, put your feet up and take it easy." Jonathan sighed, he might just as well have told him to dance on the ceiling. "Look, Beecham, you're tired, I'm tired and neither one of us is leaving any time soon." Jonathan waved a hand at the sofa Jose had been napping on earlier. "Please, take a break. Daniel might need you when he wakes up so you need to be rested." Jonathan thought for a moment and glanced at the covered dishes still on the sideboard. "You haven't eaten, have you." Again, Beecham looked like he'd been slapped.

"No, sir." How could two simple words sound so disdainful? "It wouldn't be proper. I'll have my supper when I return to the kitchen." Damn, Jonathan thought, if he stands up any straighter he'll be popping some of those buttons right off.

"Nonsense." Jonathan pointed to the sofa. "Sit." When he hesitated, Jonathan pulled out the big guns. "Beecham, I can't manage here on my own." Jonathan rubbed his hand over his belly to illustrate the problem. "Daniel needs you. That means you're not leaving, not that I thought you would," he added hurriedly, "but that means you have to eat and rest just like the rest of us." Reaching for the buzzer by his chair, Jonathan summoned whoever was on duty. In the meanwhile, Beecham sat. Rather he perched uncomfortably on the edge of the sofa. The man acted as if this were the first time he had ever sat down in the presence of a member of the family. For all Jonathan could remember, it might be. A few moments later there was a quiet knock followed by the appearance of Parker. Of course it would be Parker. Now that Jonathan thought about it, Parker was the only one besides the family, the doctor and Beecham to have been in for the past twenty hours. Of course. Beecham would have ordered him to be on call for their suite. No one who hadn't already seen Daniel would be allowed near while he was sick.

"May I help you, Sir?" The poor man's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw Beecham sitting precariously on the master's sofa. Beecham refused to look away, but his face was turning an alarming shade of red.

"Yes, Parker, would you prepare a plate for Beecham? He's going to be staying here with me for as long as it takes and the man needs to eat. I'd do it myself, but I'd've needed you to help me up so this just seems more efficient." Parker made his way swiftly to the sideboard, glancing back surreptitiously at his fellow servant from time to time. He wanted to look at Jonathan, but had been too well trained to draw unnecessary attention to himself. Covert glances at another servant were one thing. Apparently, covert glances at the family were crossing the line. "Make sure you give him enough to last a while. Don't stint because that plate's not being fixed in the kitchen. I won't have the man weak from hunger." He took another look at Beecham. "Include a glass of wine or some beer or whatever Beecham normally drinks. I'm sure you know what he likes."

"Sir." Beecham sounded like he was being strangled.

"You do drink, don't you?" Jonathan was certain Daniel gave the man a case of something every Christmas, but he couldn't remember what it was at the moment.

"Yes, sir, on occasion."

"Good! I can't right now, so I'll enjoy it vicariously." Jonathan sighed. "I could use a drink right about now." Parker approached and placed a nicely full plate on the low table in front of Beecham along with the necessary silver and linen, then returned to the sideboard to pour a glass of Daniel's favorite red wine.

"Parker!" Beecham hissed and started to rise, but Jonathan stopped him with a raised finger. He settled.

"Sit."

"Sir, that's his lordship's wine, it wouldn't be right," the man was almost panicked.

"Please, Beecham." Jonathan waved for Parker to get on with it and let his voice express his exhaustion. He usually tried to keep up a front for everyone, but he needed to make his point and make it quickly. "Daniel won't mind. He'd be furious with me if he knew I'd let you wear yourself down to nothing." Bringing Daniel into it seemed to be helping. "Besides, I can't think of anyone else outside of his family that he'd rather share it with than you." Jonathan wasn't exactly certain what the expression on Beecham's usually expressionless face meant, but he thought the older man was pleased with the notion that Daniel valued him.

Once he'd finished serving Beecham, Parker stood attentively at Jonathan's side. "Sir, may I get you something?" Jonathan wondered if he'd played the exhaustion card a little too heavily.

"Please, sir, you need to eat something, too." Beecham had relaxed somewhat but Jonathan knew that look. He wasn't going to get away with it.

"I really don't know if I could right now." His stomach was roiling and the baby was alternately kicking his stomach and head butting his lungs. His mind shied away again from thoughts of his daughter. For some reason the confirmation from Doctor Frasier made it all too real.

"Sir, perhaps one of Cook's special drinks would go down well?" Parker looked hopeful at Beecham's suggestion. Now that he mentioned it, the fruit and yogurt drink might do the trick. In a few weeks, he'd hole up somewhere with a couple of bottles of whiskey, but he couldn't do that yet. He wouldn't do that yet, despite the current crisis.

"Actually, Beecham, now that you mention it that does sound good." Jonathan's public face was firmly in place. Beecham waved a much relieved Parker toward the door. "Parker, ask if he has any strawberries." If he didn't... "Wait! Only if no one has to go get them. I'll take whatever's available."

"Of course, sir." Slightly crestfallen, Parker left on his errand.

"Parker's going to have to rest sometime, you know."

"Yes, sir, but in the meantime, he needs to feel that he's helping." Beecham had apparently gotten over his reluctance to eat with his betters and took another hefty bite. After swallowing he continued, "His lordship wouldn't want the nature of his illness to spread throughout the household."

Jonathan nodded. Daniel wouldn't. "Thank you for thinking of it. It really hadn't crossed my mind."

"Sir has other matters to occupy him right now. It is my pleasure to remove whatever small worries I can." Somehow Beecham managed to convey his customary bow without getting up.

"You have no idea how comforting that is, Beecham." Jonathan settled back and considered dozing, but his daughter and his bladder had other ideas. He groaned and started to work his way toward the front of the chair.

"Sir, if I may." Damn, you move fast. Jonathan let the older man help him from his comfortable chair and then he waited until his helper got the message and returned to his dinner.

Jonathan made his slow way into the bedroom. Moving as quietly as he could he stopped by the bed to see how Daniel was doing. He looked fairly peaceful in the dim light. He was sprawled on his back taking up more than his half of the bed as usual. Jonathan wanted nothing more than to crawl under the covers with him with the comforting sound of his love's light snores to send him to sleep. Then he noted the dark circles and pain lines between his brows. Even in sleep his head must still be throbbing. Jonathan sighed and then held his breath as the ill man shifted in his sleep, reaching to grab the pillow next to him as he rolled over and hugged it to him. Jonathan didn't move until Daniel settled again. He felt tears well up as he realized it was his pillow being hugged so desperately. He wiped his eyes and headed on to the bathroom. Devon roused a bit in his chair as Jonathan passed him. He squeezed the man's shoulder as he passed and closed the bathroom door softly behind him.

Once finished, he waited until the plumbing quieted down then headed back into the bedroom leaving the door cracked to provide a little light in the bedroom. All was as he'd left it, so he passed through as quickly and quietly as possible so as not to risk waking the sleeper. He had just closed the bedroom door when the door to the suite flew open revealing Ian, Jose and someone covered head to toe in a bulky orange suit of some kind.

"Jonathan!"

"Shh! Ian, keep it down! Daniel's sleeping in there!" Jonathan shushed the younger man and gestured at the odd member of their group.

"Jonathan, it's good to see you again." He knew that muffled voice. Jonathan moved a little closer and peered into the facemask of the suit.

"Daniel? What are you doing here?" Fear clinched his gut. "You didn't bring Jack, did you?"

"No! Though he almost joined us." Jonathan wondered what that meant and then noticed Jose looking a little embarrassed.

"Jose, what did you do?"

Daniel put a gloved hand on Jose's shoulder and squeezed, "It was just a little misunderstanding." Jonathan wished he could read Daniel's body language because he knew Jose. He was sure it was more than a little misunderstanding. Daniel was looking around the room.

Jonathan turned to Ian and Jose who still stood near Doctor Daniel. "Would one of you go in and sit with Daniel? I need Devon out here." Before either of them could speak, Beecham appeared at Jonathan's shoulder.

"Sir, if you please, I could sit with his lordship. It might be best if the other gentlemen remained with you and your visitor." The food seemed to have done the older man a world of good. He still looked tired, but there was new color in his face and he looked like he was willing to take on the world.

"Are you sure, Beecham? I don't recall you napping between bites." The older man would have looked insulted save for the subtle crinkling around his eyes. In all the years he'd been with Daniel, Jonathan had never seen Beecham smile. Well, of course he smiled, but only little 'all's right with the household' smiles. Never a real one. Early on, they didn't spend much time at the house. Later, after things changed, Daniel had commented on how strongly his mother's death had affected the old man. He'd come with her from her father's home when she married and had been more like a favorite uncle than a servant to Lady Claire Jackson, at least according to her son. Maybe he just didn't smile around them, around Daniel. Maybe it hurt too much. "I shall be fine, sir. It's not like I've never watched over his lordship while he slept. I'll send Doctor Caruthers out directly." Beecham put his hand on the doorknob, "Master Nicolas and Master Robert are very like their father." With a slight bow, he proceeded into the room. Jonathan couldn't decide if he should be pleased or terrified by the thought. From the look on Ian's face he had the same dilemma. Jose smirked at both of them. His sons hadn't been mentioned. Jonathan brought his wayward thoughts back to the present and turned to their visitor.

"That looks uncomfortable."

"Um, it is, actually. Who's Devon?"

"He's our doctor. We've told him about you and me, I mean Jack and, and all that." Doctor Daniel frowned and Jonathan wished he would take off that blasted mask.

"Do you trust him?" The question surprised Jonathan.

"Of course I trust him. We trust him."

"Jonathan, I wouldn't be asking this if it weren't important. Do you trust him with your world?" Jonathan bit back his knee jerk reaction and looked into the man's face. Doctor Daniel looked pointed down to Jonathan's belly and then back up. Jonathan felt the blood drain from his face. She told him! Rather than just stand there, he moved to his chair and sat heavily while his mind raced. What was he asking? He was grateful Doctor Daniel was keeping his secret, but what did it mean? How much did he trust Devon? Then, he realized he didn't need to think about it anymore.

"Yes, Daniel. I trust him with everything." Before Doctor Daniel could respond Devon emerged from the bedroom, carefully closing the door behind him.

"Devon, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Doctor Devon Caruthers, meet Doctor Daniel Jackson." The two men shook hands or rather Doctor Daniel shook Devon's hand. Jonathan had the impression that their visitor recognized him. Devon looked like he was going in to shock as he got a good look at the man behind the facemask.

"My god, I almost didn't believe them when they told me but you look just like him! You're an archeologist, right?" Doctor Daniel started to speak, but Devon kept right on. "You really are from a," he turned quickly to Jonathan, not releasing the hand he grasped. "What did you call it?" He whipped back to the suited man a huge grin lighting his face. "An alternate universe? This is incredible! We have to tell people! Jonathan, I know you and his lordship wanted us to keep this quiet, but we can't keep this to ourselves!"

"You have to! Please, if you haven't told anyone else yet, you've got to keep this quiet." Doctor Daniel's voice, though muffled, carried the same tone as their Daniel's voice when he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"We haven't told anyone, but Daniel did call his father and ask him to return as soon as he could." Before Doctor Daniel could ask Jonathan added, "He didn't tell him why, just that there was business that required his presence." His husband's counterpart relaxed.

"Good. That's, that's good." He reached up in a familiar gesture as if to run his hand through his hair only to stop and look at his hand then shake his head in annoyance. "Look, we've got to talk and it has to stay within this room until we figure out what to do." Jonathan waved the others to sit and they spent a moment getting comfortable. Jose sat in another armchair with Ian perched on the arm. Devon chose a spot at the end of one sofa and Doctor Daniel carefully sat where Beecham had been. Ian jumped up and moved the dirty dishes away and poured drinks for everyone but Jonathan and their guest. Raised eyebrows in Jonathan's direction asked the obvious question.

"Parker's bringing me something to settle my stomach." Ian turned to their guest who held his arms out helplessly.

"Don't worry about me. I've got water, if I get thirsty enough." The scowl told Jonathan what their guest thought of that. He glanced at Jonathan and smiled. "I think my doctor would just shoot me if I drank anything here that she hadn't approved."

"She's little but very, very scary."

"She?" Devon sounded as awed as he looked.

"Beautiful, too." Ian, having returned to his place on Jose's chair sighed. "As is Samantha." He spoke her name with obvious reverence. Jonathan knew that Ian had never been attracted to women before they all died, but he understood the man's emotion. They drew him, too. They represented everything their Earth had lost. "But your Jack's gorgeous, too." He yelped when Jose goosed him. "Verrrry hot." He tried to get up, but Jose grabbed him around the waist and dragged him into his lap.

"Wait, when did you see them? You didn't bring women with you!" Jonathan didn't want to believe it not after what he'd heard while on their Earth.

"No! No, they saw them through the qua, uh, through the mirror. They were watching me when I came through, making sure everything was all right." A sound from the other armchair drew Jonathan's attention.

"I can see I'm going to have to keep you away from Jonathan from now on." Jose growled and started to tickle Ian but stopped before it got out of hand.

"Are they always like this?" Jonathan smiled at Doctor Jackson's perplexed question.

"Not always, but enough to be annoying." The other two were still wrestling quietly in their chair, which wasn't easy as it really wasn't big enough for both of them. "C'mon, you two, cut it out."

"Spoilsport. I had him right where I wanted him." Ha! Jonathan thought. I know exactly where you want him and it's not in that chair. He wondered if he should ever tell them about the fond memories he had of that particular chair. Maybe he would, but he'd save it for later. Much later. Ian kissed his partner and Jonathan watched as they settled back as they had been only this time Ian had his arm around Jose's shoulder and Jose rested one hand on Ian's thigh. Both faces reflected that reality had sunk in again, the moment of play gone.

"So, you didn't bring the women, either. That's good."

"Nope, just me."

"But I take it you didn't come just to say hello."

"No, actually, but before we get to that, what's wrong with your Daniel?" Devon launched into a quick recital of Daniel's symptoms. Starting with the initial breakdown he then described the mood swings, confusion, headaches and tremors. Doctor Daniel laid his satchel on the table and started pulling files and bundles of papers clipped together from it placing them in piles. He scowled while he listened and dug through them until he found what he was looking for. Scooting awkwardly toward Devon he opened the file on the table before both of them.

"Look at this. Doctor Frasier sent this for you, well, for a doctor, to see. Do you recognize these chemicals?" Devon bent over the pages and started firing questions at their guest. Doctor Daniel answered as best he could, but even Jonathan could tell he was out of his depth. Devon expanded a little on what their guest had been told during Jonathan's and Daniel's visit, even talking about the care given to babies immediately after birth. Almost all of them had some minor deficiencies of some kind, but there were effective treatments that took care of it within days. Between the two of them, though, Devon apparently managed to find enough common ground with what he knew to start making sense of what he read. He paged through the reports, eventually reaching over to those Doctor Daniel had left on the other side of the table. Devon's expression became more and more grim.

During one of the exchanges that left the other three completely lost, there was a knock on the door and Parker entered bearing a tall glass on a silver tray. Jonathan tried not to laugh, but the size of the man's eyes as he got a good look at their outlandishly clad visitor was almost too much. Parker placed his drink on the side table and waited for further orders. Speaking low so as not to disturb the two doctors Jonathan said, "its okay, Parker, he's a friend. But," he held up one finger for emphasis, "under no circumstances is anyone to know he's here. It's a," he searched for the right word, "a delicate situation." Parker relaxed. He understood delicate situations. Jonathan's early relationship with his master had also been 'delicate'.

"Very good, sir, if there's nothing else?" Jonathan shook his head and Parker retreated as quietly as he came.

During his brief exchange with Parker, their visitor had started filling them on his doctor's findings as well as some of their suspicions. Jonathan could tell there was something he was holding back. He knew that face too well. He'd already recognized that the two men were much alike and Daniel could never hide anything from Jonathan for long. Finally, with a muttered curse, Devon threw the file he was reading on the stack in front of him and stood.

"What the hell do you think you're pulling? What do you hope to prove with this," he waved his hand dismissively at the scattered papers, "this crap!"

Doctor Daniel placed his hand on his facemask then pulled the hand into a fist in obvious frustration. Jonathan could almost see the desired action, that hand rubbing his eyes while he thought. "I'm not trying to pull anything. We're trying to help!"

"Help? With this, this fiction? I don't know what kind of medicine they practice on your world, but here we deal in facts not fantasies!" Devon stalked over to the sideboard and poured himself a glass of wine. He downed it in one gulp and turned back to them. "Those results are preposterous! Half of those chemicals don't even exist. There's no way they could have been in his lordship's blood unless," he narrowed his eyes at their visitor who by now was standing and beginning to look alarmed, "unless your people put them there!"

"Devon!" Jonathan raised his voice to break through the other man's tirade. He knew Devon. He was just getting started. "They didn't do anything to us except be nice and feed us and offer their help. And keep your voice down." Devon still looked angry, but a little guilt at the thought that he might have disturbed his patient tempered the anger. "Doctor Frasier, well," Jonathan studied his hands, "lets just say I wasn't very nice to her when I met her and leave it at that." For once he was glad he couldn't see Doctor Daniel's face. He was embarrassed enough by his behavior. "I apologized and she was the soul of compassion and professionalism when she examined me."

"What about the side effects of the fertility treatments? Do you know what causes them?" Doctor Daniel's voice was calm and conciliatory all the while he was essentially interrogating Devon. Jonathan glanced at Jose who nodded approvingly. Jose had been a high ranking member of Seguridad Nacional de California before. He'd come north to marry Daniel as part of an arrangement between his great uncle, the Don of California, and Lord Jackson. One of Daniel's cousins had married into the Don's family. Such exchanges had been done for centuries to cement diplomatic relations between nations, but now the Reproductive Council occasionally 'suggested' such matches to ensure genetic diversity. These days he handled the estate's security and acted as a consultant for Cascadia's regional police force. Jose had remarked in the past how impressive it was that their Daniel could usually get anyone to talk about anything, but he relied on his position and the devotion, or the implied threat, that position accorded him. This Daniel had honed his skills in ways Jonathan didn't really want to think about. Even after hearing about their SGC and the ongoing war with the Goa'uld, it bothered him to think of any Daniel being put in such danger.

"There are no persistent side effects! Those that are reported by fertile men are the result of stress caused by doing their duty to society." Even Jonathan could hear the rote quality to Devon's declaration. He idly wondered what his counterpart would do right now.

"Then what's wrong with Lord Cascadia?" Again, the quiet almost submissive voice.

"I don't know!" Devon sank back down on the sofa and covered his face. "God help me, I don't know."

"Then isn't it possible that those chemicals are in his bloodstream and they're causing it?" The submissive quality shifted and became cajoling.

"Yes! No! Damn!" Devon looked at the other man on the sofa. "Doctor Jackson, those chemicals shouldn't even exist! I have no idea what they might do. They're impossible!" Doctor Daniel chuckled.

"This isn't a laughing matter, Daniel!" It had taken several attempts, but Doctor Daniel had eventually gotten Devon to call him by his first name.

"I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you. It's just that for a moment you reminded me of Sam, Samantha. She's always telling me something's impossible, at least until she figures out a way to do it." He grinned at Devon, who couldn't help but grin back.

"What kinds of things?"

"Oh, just, y'know," he waved his hand vaguely, "work stuff." Now it was Jonathan's turn to laugh. He'd heard about some of Doctor Daniel's 'work stuff'. It did sound impossible. Devon looked askance at Jonathan who mouthed "I'll tell you later" as his chuckles slowly died down.

"What kind of equipment did your Doctor Frasier use to examine these chemicals?"

Their guest blinked behind his mask. "I have no idea." Seeing the discontent etched in the other man's face, he continued, "Most of what I know about medicine I've learned either in first aid courses or from, well, from being a patient." A pained, haunted look crossed his face to be quickly replaced with a calm facade. Jonathan wondered what particular memory had sparked that expression.

"I need to go there." Devon made his announcement while looking directly at Jonathan. "If there's any chance that something I've been doing is making him ill, I need to know!" The doctor's anguished expression almost convinced Jonathan on the spot. As First Consort, these decisions fell on him when Daniel was unavailable. He glanced at Jose and Ian, but they'd been silent since their wrestling match. Jose shrugged and Ian nodded his head at Jose as if to say, "I'm with him." This was too far out of their experience. It was too far out of anyone's experience. Jonathan hardly thought that one foolhardy trip to Doctor Daniel's Earth made him an expert, but he was the only one they had. For the moment, it was his decision. He hated that but he also knew once Lord Jackson arrived, he didn't think he'd be able to override the older man. This told Jonathan all he needed to know about what he was going to do. Jonathan chewed his lip and ran his hands over his face. An idea had been forming ever since they had returned home. He'd been trying to ignore it. It was an impossible idea that had no hope of working. Then, Daniel's illness effectively drove it from his mind. Until now. He almost allowed himself to hope.

"Daniel, will your people allow it?"

Doctor Daniel nodded, paused and then nodded more vigorously. "Yes, I think they will," he glanced at Devon, "at least as long as there's no risk of infecting our world."

"No, no risk. No one here carries the virus." Devon's words sent a chill down Jonathan's spine. "Only a few men have been found to continue to carry the virus after they're exposed to it. They've been put in isolation and kept away from the rest of the population while researchers try to come up with a cure or at least a vaccine. They've had limited success." Devon added sadly. Jonathan had never really thought about this before, but now it hit him with blinding clarity. It should have occurred to him when Doctor Frasier questioned them about it, but there was too much else on his mind at the time. Too much strangeness. Jonathan wondered why Daniel hadn't thought of it, that's the kind of thing he'd usually have noticed. His illness must have been clouding his mind even then. Either that or the presence of the strange chemicals led Jonathan to make the leap. That and the realization that their guest wasn't telling them everything. Jonathan decided this must be what he'd been leaving out. He half-hoped he was wrong. But what if he wasn't... what if he wasn't.

"Devon, if none of us carry it," Jonathan found he had trouble getting the rest of the question out. "If none of us carry it, just how do our children get it?" Devon started to speak, to probably say he didn't know and then he looked down at the scattered papers he'd just been going through. The color leached from his face and he grabbed the sofa as if to keep from falling off. Jonathan knew what was going through the other man's mind, because it was the same thing going through his. All the reproductive drugs and the initial treatments required by their babies came from a single source which was controlled by the Reproductive Council. Their eyes met and Jonathan nodded.

"No. NO! I don't believe it!" Devon's voice didn't sound as certain as his words. "Do you know what you're implying, Jonathan? Do you know what that would mean?"

"Devon, we don't know anything." Doctor Daniel's calm, conciliatory tone was back. "Let's see if we can find out." Devon nodded and Jonathan decided it was time to act.

"Right. That's settled. Devon, grab the birthing kit and let's get going." Jonathan started the long process of trying to get out of his chair.

"Jonathan? Just where do you think you're going?" Ah, Ian. And he had that tone in his voice.

"I'm going with them." He held up a hand to forestall continued argument. "And we're taking Daniel with us."

The argument between Devon, Jose and Ian raged in hushed tones for the entire time it took Jonathan to change clothes and instruct Beecham to pack a bag for himself and Daniel. It's not that they didn't want Devon, Jonathan and Daniel to go. They wanted to go, too. As Jonathan had pointed out before heading into the bedroom, they needed to remain to keep up appearances. He took Beecham into the suite's bathroom to let him know what was going on and that he relied on the servant to help keep their absence a secret. It wasn't going to be easy and it wasn't going to be for long, but it was imperative that no one else find out about this. Beecham swore to secrecy with one exception. He wouldn't lie and he wouldn't omit anything if Lord Jackson asked about his son. Jonathan hadn't expected anything less and just instructed him to speak to his father-in-law in private.

By the time Jonathan returned to the sitting room, the battle was over. Jose was slamming down wine like there was no tomorrow. This might have been a problem except Jonathan had never known Jose to become drunk on wine. The man had an incredible tolerance for the stuff. Ian was still stalking around the room looking more than ready to rip the head of anyone who came within reach. He had to get control of this before one of them did something stupid.

"Guys?" Jonathan held his arms out and after a moment's hesitation from both of them, they came to him and they stood in a three way hug. Jonathan pulled away, still with an arm draped around both men's shoulders. "I know you want to come with us and I wish there was a way to do that, but there's not. I'd love to show you this place and the people. But the important thing is that they might be able to help Daniel. They might be able to help all of us, but we need Devon and Doctor Frasier to get together and do their thing. With both Daniel and I there, they've got men to study right at hand." He could see he was getting through to them. He knew he had to tell them the rest. It was killing him, but they had to know why it had to be him who went with Daniel. He squeezed them both a little. "There's another reason I have to be the one to go."

"That's an easy on, knucklehead." Jose ran his hand up into Jonathan's hair and gently tugged his head back and forth a couple of times. With his other hand, he stroked Jonathan's belly, grinning when the baby head butted his hand. "See? He wants to go, too."

Jonathan knew the tears were coming and he didn't see any way to stop it. It was all too much and Jose's words crashed through his carefully built walls. He felt Jose's arms come around him while Ian ran his hand through his hair and rubbed his back gently. As his harsh sobs died down he finally heard the soft murmurs of the other two men. He felt Ian kiss his shoulder and then there was a cold spot where he'd been. Jonathan raised his head from where he'd rested it on Jose's shoulder to look for the smaller man. "It's all right, mi poco corazon, he's just getting you something so you can wipe your face." Jose pulled him forward and leaned up to plant a kiss on his forehead then hugged him close again. Jonathan couldn't help but smile through his tears. They each expressed their protectiveness in different ways. Daniel hovered, Ian mothered and Jose got touchy-feely. And he did it in Spanish. "We've been there, mi amor, we know what it's like." Jonathan nodded, though he knew Jose hadn't ever faced this particular terror. Nothing terrifies like hope and for the first time in a very long time, Jonathan felt hope.

Ian returned and handed him a warm, damp cloth. He took it from him before the other man could wash his face for him. Ian looked a little embarrassed, which told Jonathan he'd been right. Ian was the worst of them all when it came to mothering everything in sight. The slightly red-faced man put his arm around Jose who still had one hand in Jonathan's hair. "Look, guys, there's more going on here than you know." He tossed the damp rag onto the floor and put a hand on each man's shoulder. "Yes, it's important for Devon and Doctor Frasier to have a pregnant man to refer to." Daniel would never let him live down being reference material. "So, I'm handy. I'm the logical choice."

"There's more to it, isn't there, hon." Ian looked at Doctor Daniel. "There's something you're not telling us." He looked back at Jonathan. "But you know what it is, don't you." He should have known he'd never get anything past them.

"You're right. There's something I haven't told you, yet. Daniel doesn't know, either and I think it's just as well that he not find out. At least not until there's no other choice."

"Out with it, Jonathan." And then Jose would jump right back to brusque.

"Well, since you asked so nicely." He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes one last time. "I'm going to have a girl." He looked into Ian's shocked eyes and then into Jose's grief-stricken ones. Jonathan leaned in to plant a comforting kiss of his own on the side of Jose's head then continued to hold him close. They knew what it was like to watch their daughters sicken and die in their arms over a matter of days. After Jose's daughter died, he was silent for almost two weeks. Jonathan spent most of that time touching him, holding him. More tears than words were shared, but it was healing for the both of them. Later, Jonathan found that Ian and Daniel had spent their time similarly, when they weren't trying to entice the others to eat or bathe or sleep.

"You must go, mi corazon. You must do what you can to give your, no, our daughter a chance." Jonathan felt the tears start up again. He sniffed and found a hankerchief in hovering over his hand.

"Thanks, Devon." He used it and then pulled each of his husband's consorts, NO, he thought, I think we just moved beyond that., he pulled each of his husbands into a full body hug and kissed each one deeply. He pulled back and gently wiped the tears from Jose's face then cupped his hand around Ian's cheek. "We'll be back as soon as we can." With that, he sniffed one last time, turned to the others in the room and asked, "Okay, who's going to carry Daniel?"

~*~

CHAPTER 13

"What does he think he's doing?" Jack had been in and out of the mirror room since Daniel left. Gone were Carter's gadgets and Daniel's books. In their place was an array of medical equipment and a hospital bed. It was well short of the twelve-hour limit but he'd stopped in on his way to see the general. The SFs on duty had been about to report activity on the other side when he'd walked in. "Damnit Daniel!" The object of his ire couldn't hear him on the other side of the mirror, but he'd certainly get an earful when he got here. Jack approached the mirror. He shook his head and waved his arms trying to dissuade him from what appeared to Jack to be a massive mistake. As far as Jack was concerned they were just plain lucky that Lord Daniel and Jonathan had been clear of the virus. But Daniel was bringing them back. It looked like he was also bringing the bio guy from SG7 with him. Creamer or whatever his name was. He and Daniel were supporting Lord Daniel who appeared to be barely conscious. They were each carrying bags in addition to the one Daniel had taken with him. Jack could see Jonathan standing right behind them with his hand on Lord Daniel's shoulder when Daniel raised his hand to touch the mirror. Jack held his hands up once more and mouthed, "Wait!" before turning to the airmen in the room, "Abbott! Sims! Out, now! And get Frasier into the observation booth! Contamination protocol!" Once the door was secure, he glared at his friend through the mirror. He should have been on the other side of the door with Abbott and Sims, but that conversation in the storeroom haunted him. Then they were on this side of the mirror being drenched in the decontamination mist. "Damnit, Daniel!"

"Jack! Given Devon a hand and get Daniel on the bed." Jack wanted nothing more than to rip Daniel a new one and maybe the other Daniel, too, just because. Instead, he helped Carstairs get the obviously ill man into the waiting bed. His anger would have to wait. They had a situation and the sooner he got control of it, the better. Jack hated these kinds of emergencies. He'd much rather have enemies to shoot at. Maybe he'd shoot Daniel later. Jack watched his friend and future victim struggle with his containment suit for about thirty seconds with frankly ineffectual help from Jonathan before he batted the pregnant man's hands away and nodded to the bed.

"What's up with your Daniel?" Jack quickly stripped his Daniel out of the bulky suit and shoved it into his hands to deal with. He leaned close so only Daniel could hear him. "You are in so much trouble right now."

"When am I not in trouble, Jack?" He whispered back. Now out of the clumsy suit he juggled it for a moment trying to find a way to carry it without tripping while he looked around for somewhere to put it. He finally walked over to the corner where all the bags had been dropped and just dumped it next to them. Jack rolled his eyes, but decided that was the least of their worries. At least it was out of the way.

"Daniel had a breakdown of some kind yesterday. Since then he's been tired, confused and has a killer headache." Jack knew that tone having heard it coming out of his mouth more times than he cared to remember. Jonathan was, if possible, even more exhausted than he looked.

Jack and Daniel joined Jonathan who was trying to calm his husband and Crenshaw who was busily connecting his patient to various monitors. Jack heard him mutter from time to time apparently trying to figure out what one piece or another did. He took a good long look at Lord Daniel who was lying flat on his back looking around the room almost like he had the first time.

"It's okay, love, you're safe. You've been sick. We brought you back through the mirror to see if they can help you." Jonathan kept on telling the confused man where he was and what was happening, but Jack wasn't sure it was helping.

"Jon'than?" Jack realized he was looking at him. He had no idea if he should deny it or go along with the confused man.

"Shh, I'm here, hon." Now he was looking at Jonathan.

"B-b-but then who's that?" Lord Daniel struggled to sit up. Jonathan helped him and then took him in his arms rocking him a little and murmuring to him. His Daniel tugged on his sleeve and indicated they should move away. Jack followed him, more shaken by the other man's illness than he'd expected. Jack's stomach clinched. He'd seen his friend stretched out on an infirmary bed looking like that more times than he could count. In pain, confused, scared. Jack's head reminded him that his friend was standing next to him, but his heart ordered him to go to the sick man.

"I thought it might be easier for him if he couldn't see us at the moment." Jack nodded. No way did he want to get involved if he could help it. Yeah, right, like that was going to happen. He was involved and he was in deep. Jack didn't want to care what happened to these men, but he knew it was too late. He cared. He cared enough to have set up this mission for the sole purpose of getting Jonathan here so maybe his daughter would survive. It galled him that he was allowing his personal feelings to interfere with his job, but this was one he couldn't walk away from, no matter how much his head told him he should. Naturally, Daniel was bearing the brunt of his anger and knowing how wrong that was just made it worse. Jack felt like he was on an emotional rollercoaster. He needed a vacation. Taking in his friend's worn face, Jack realized he probably did, too. He felt his anger drain away.

"I couldn't just leave them there, Jack! Their own government is doing this to them!" Daniel did this to him every time. He'd do something Jack knew was dangerous and wrongheaded but then he'd hit every button Jack had to get him to go along. Nine times out of ten it ended up being the right thing to do and nobody got hurt. It was the tenth time that always ended in bloodshed. The worst of it was that Jack didn't think Daniel was manipulating him on purpose. If he thought he was, it wouldn't work nearly as well. No, he was just being Daniel.

"I know, Daniel. You're just being you."

Daniel gave him a quizzical look. "Jack, you were the one who was planning on bringing Jonathan here in the first place." Jack hung his head. "Don't tell me you changed your mind." Daniel had his arms crossed but hadn't gotten to the self-hug that had been his trademark early on.

"Crap, Daniel, I don't know anymore." Jack scrubbed his face with both hands and ran one through his hair. "This is all just so..."

"Confusing? Weird? Like being on a rollercoaster that goes on forever?"

"You didn't tell me you picked up mind reading while you were hanging out with Oma." Daniel bumped shoulders with him and gave him a quick smile.

"Uh, no. I've just been spending way too much time with you."

"Yeah, well, it's getting weird hearing you do your Shirley MacLaine thing on me."

"I'm not sure weird is the word I'd use. Maybe terrifying or..."

"Aht!" He bumped Daniel's shoulder back. He knew the pit was still waiting to swallow him, but Daniel was a lifeline of sorts. He wasn't alone this time. This time would be different. "Let's see what's what before Frasier gets here." He checked the observation booth, but it was still empty.

"I thought it might be a good idea to bring Doctor Caruthers along to talk with Janet." They moved slowly toward the bed.

"Caruthers! That's his name. It was driving me crazy." Lord Daniel was calmer and seemed to be drifting off to sleep. Jonathan was leaning heavily against the bed, still holding the sick man's hand and running his other hand gently over his hair.

"I beg your pardon?" Caruthers turned as the two men approached.

"You're, or rather the other you, is on SG7. He's new. I'm terrible with names." Jack held his hand out to the newcomer, "Colonel Jack O'Neill."

"They told me you were military, but it didn't seem real." He looked back and forth between Jack and Jonathan then shook his head. "I guess you people are used to this sort of thing."

"Nope. Never get used to it. Don't want to." Jack looked back over his shoulder again and wondered what was keeping Frasier. Daniel had gotten one of the tall stools from the edge of the room and was currently urging Jonathan to sit down. Nodding toward the patient, Jack asked, "How's he doing?"

Caruthers shook his head. "Not well, but the periods of confusion are getting shorter. His headache is getting worse, though, and he's sleeping too much. His body's not regulating his temperature as well as it should. At least the mood swings seem to be over." Caruthers studied one of the monitors for a moment. "This equipment is very similar to ours, but it's different enough. I'm not completely certain what it's telling me." Jack looked at him, his eyebrows raised. The other man smiled at him. "You're so much like Jonathan. It's uncanny. But then they're," indicating the Daniel on the bed and the one currently speaking quietly to Jonathan, "a great deal alike, too." He shook his head again. "This is just too strange."

"Strange is pretty normal around here. Doctor Caruthers, isn't it?" Finally, Jack thought as he whipped around to see Frasier bending over to talk into the microphone in the observation booth.

"Ah, good to see you, Doc." Jack turned back to the man next to him and rolled his eyes. "Here we go again." That earned him a glare from Daniel who still stood by Jonathan, one hand resting on the man's shoulder. "Doctor Caruthers, meet Doctor Janet Frasier."

"They told me you were beautiful, but," Jack could see the man was on the verge of tears. Looks like he wasn't the only one having trouble getting a handle on his emotions. He looked back up at Frasier. Jack had never really paid much attention to her looks. It was easier to just not notice subordinates. He'd learned that lesson a long time ago. Now, for just a moment, he tried to see her with the eyes of the man next to him and he had to admit she was very attractive. Especially since she wasn't shining that damned penlight of hers into his eyes.

"They did, did they? Well, thank you, Doctor, that's very kind of you." If Jack hadn't known better, he'd have thought the SGC's tiny terror was blushing, but that was obviously a trick of the light. "How's your patient? The colonel indicated there might be danger of a contagion. I thought Lord Daniel was immune to the virus."

Caruthers bristled at her words. "Doctor Frasier, I will not have his lordship insulted. His title is Lord Cascadia." Before she could respond, Jonathan's voice drew their attention. He spoke softly, probably in deference to the sleeping man, but Jack thought it might be all he had the energy for. He seemed to fading right before their eyes. "Relax, Devon, it's not like that. They," he waved his hand to indicate Jack, Daniel and Frasier, "don't seem to have any nobility or anything like that. 'Lord Daniel' was a compromise that Daniel approved. They don't mean anything by it."

Caruthers still seemed ready to take exception to what he apparently saw as a deadly insult. Jack wondered if he was going to challenge someone to a duel. "Doctor, my apologies, Jonathan's right. Your Daniel, Lord Cascadia," she amended, "thought it would be easier than having us try to remember to call him such an unfamiliar name." The doctor still wasn't happy, but he appeared to be willing to drop it for now as he proceeded to answer Frasier's question. They drifted off into medical-speak and Jack tuned them out. Frasier would report what he needed to know later.

Moving over to stand next to the bed, Jack looked between the man on the bed and the man on the stool. He kept his voice quiet. "How ya doin'?" Jonathan shrugged.

"Tired. Worried. Pregnant. Tired of being pregnant." Jack nodded. He remembered Sara saying much the same thing.

"Y'know, you could go home and," the other man's expression stopped him. "Or you could just hang out here."

"I'm staying." He looked insulted at the very idea. "Would you leave?" Jack tried to put himself into the other man's shoes. If someone he loved had been lying there, he doubted he'd be willing to leave either. Jack glanced at Daniel and a montage of images of his friend lying in the infirmary ran through his head. He'd stayed with him more often than not, usually having to be run out by Frasier or the general. He shied away from the implications and quickly reminded himself of the times he'd stayed at the bedside of other teammates over the years. He didn't like the comparisons he found. Once again he was being taken places he really didn't want to go. Jack tried to tell himself that it was just because Daniel seemed to have such a knack for getting hurt. Yeah, Jack, tell yourself another one. He shook his head.

"Jonathan, no one's going to make you leave him." Daniel patted the tired man's shoulder and Jonathan nodded. "We're just concerned about you." Jonathan nodded.

"Devon's right. You're a lot like my Daniel." He gave them both a tired smile then gasped and sat up straight, twisting a little and rubbing his abdomen. Again, Jack flashed on Sara when she was pregnant. Daniel, for all his experience actually delivering babies, didn't seem to have had much experience with actual pregnancies. His face went white and gripped Jonathan's shoulder tightly.

"W-what is it? Jonathan? Are you all right?" Jonathan nodded, but his face was still reflecting the obvious discomfort he was feeling.

"Take it easy, Daniel, I think the baby just turned wrong." Jack wished they'd brought in another bed, but they'd only been expecting one patient. Jonathan looked like he seriously needed some horizontal time. He wandered toward the observation window where Caruthers and Frasier were still deep in discussion. The general stood behind Frasier and looked like he was getting about as much of the conversation as Jack was. Once in a while he'd look over toward the bed and scowl. Then he'd look at Jack and the scowl would deepen. Jack started to ask the dynamic duo to cut to the chase, but the general beat him to it.

"Doctor Frasier, is the base in any danger?" Frasier folded her hands in front of her and looked at Caruthers who shook his head with confidence.

"Not at this time, sir. None of the men in the isolation room carry Nirrti's virus."

"Doc, what does that mean?" He really hated it when scientists got cagey. "Yes" or "no" was what he wanted to hear. Nice and clean. Actually, "no" was all Jack wanted to hear. Jack met the general's eyes. It seemed he wasn't particularly pleased with her answer, either.

"Answer the colonel, Doctor Frasier. Are we in any danger or not?"

"Sir, could I speak to you privately?" The tone in Frasier's voice sent Jack's internal warning system to DEFCON 3.

"Of course," General Hammond gestured for Doctor Frasier to follow him as he headed to the door. "If you'll excuse..."

"Doctor Frasier?" Caruthers interrupted the general. "It's not necessary. We knew Daniel was holding something back and we figured out what you suspect." Jack glared over his shoulder at his friend who had the good grace to look embarrassed. "Colonel, don't blame him. You forget how well we know Lord Cascadia." Caruthers smiled as he turned back toward the observation window. "They're very much alike."

"So, that means, what?" Jack's patience in these situations wasn't unlimited and he was losing what little he had very quickly.

"It means that we brought a birthing kit with us." He pointed to the bag Jonathan had been carrying. Frasier looked just a little less confused than the general. Jack didn't need a mirror to know how confused he was.

"And, so, therefore?" He made a 'get on with it' gesture to the other man. Caruthers took a deep breath and 'got on with it'.

"It means that if, and I do mean if, our children are being deliberately infected with Compton's virus, the infectious agent," his face had gone white and he seemed to be having trouble continuing.

"It means," Jonathan's quiet, tired voice carried in the silence, "it's being spread through the supplements given to babies immediately after birth and they're in the birthing kit." General Hammond did not look happy. Jack tried to remember the last time he looked this not happy and decided it was a tie between the time he, Daniel and Carter got banned from O'Malley's during the armband fiasco and any time Simmons had been on base. Daniel had only thought he was in trouble. Jack had a feeling the man was going to be on the general's list for a very long time.

"Is it safe to break quarantine?"

"Yes, sir. We'll need to secure the birthing kit and keep it properly contained, but the men pose no threat." Frasier looked like all her Christmas wishes had just come true. Nothing like a freakish alien virus to get her blood pumping. He felt a brief moment of pity for her ex-husband.

"See to it, Doctor." She rose and didn't quite run from the observation room. "Doctor Jackson, once you've been released from quarantine, I'd like to see you in my office." Here it comes, Danny boy.

"Of course, general." Daniel was putting on a good front, but he hated being chewed out by the general almost as much as Jack did.

"Colonel, I'd like to see you when I've finished with Doctor Jackson. I think we need to have a discussion about the nature of contamination protocols."

"Yes, sir! Looking forward to it, sir!" The general smiled a not particularly nice smile at him before turning on his heel and striding out of the observation booth. This was definitely a new level of not happy for the general and generals had a lovely habit of spreading the not happiness around. He knew he should have left the room before the others came through, but he had to see this through.

Frasier erupted through the door followed by an eerily quiet flow of personnel. Jack snagged Daniel and dragged him out of the way as some descended on the patient and Frasier led Abbott and Sims to what Jack figured must be the birthing kit. They were carrying a case with the not reassuring biohazard symbol on the side. She placed the kit into it herself and watched closely as they sealed it.

"I can't decide if I want them to find the virus in there or not." Daniel kept his voice low.

"Yeah." Jack knew what he meant. "Damned if you do,"

"Damned if you don't." Daniel finished the thought.

"Still, it might mean,"

"Yeah. That would be great, wouldn't it?" Daniel smiled one of his rare broad smiles at the thought of Jonathan's daughter. His smile faded as fast as it appeared when Frasier pinned them both with her eyes and mouthed "infirmary, now" before turning to her patient.

"Guess she told us." Jack headed toward his doom with Daniel at his side.

"Thanks for, y'know." Daniel waved back toward the doorway they'd just emerged from.

"Not a problem. We're gonna get through this." Daniel nodded.

"Assuming we survive our meetings with the general." Daniel sounded as dejected as he looked. "I wonder if there's any chance of an invasion in the next half hour." Jack smiled at the hopefulness in Daniel's voice.

"I was wondering the same thing just the other day. But I was just hoping they'd torch my inbox."

"Think if we saved the world again the general might go easy on us?"

Jack pondered Daniel's question all the way onto the elevator. From the other man's expression, he was pondering, too. Just as the doors closed they looked at each other then back to the doors. "Not a chance in hell," they said simultaneously.

~*~

CHAPTER 14

Jonathan lay on his side feeling his daughter moving under his hand and watched the activity around his husband's bed. Devon and Doctor Frasier had both urged him to sleep, but he fought it. Daniel was sleeping for now, but the sight of his all but colorless face coupled with the IV lines and monitor leads all over him frightened Jonathan more than the actual illness. There was something about being in a hospital setting that made the whole thing seem more //real// than it had in their own home. Daniel had worked himself to exhaustion before and Jonathan realized he'd been reacting to this whole mess as if that's all it was. Tears welled up in his eyes that he quickly blinked away. He knew if he let them go he'd never stop. He felt like a fool. A worried, exhausted, over-emotional, //useless// fool. They wouldn't even let him sit by his bed.

Devon had reminded him, rather guiltily as Jonathan recalled, that the baby needed him rested. Jonathan remembered having just grunted at him. Devon had never been pregnant and with the on-going revelations about the medicine they'd all been using, he wasn't feeling very trusting of his doctor and friend. It was Doctor Frasier's blunt "Don't make my staff have to pick you up and put you to bed after you fall on your face" that finally got him in this position. He'd never told anyone, but whenever he was pregnant he was paranoid about falling. No one warned him that she was psychic. How anyone could be that small and that scary was beyond him. Maybe he should invite her over to spend a little time with Nicolas and Robert. So far, only Daniel and his father had been able to contain those two for any length of time.

Jonathan sighed. Not that Daniel spent much time with the boys these days. He'd thought it was because he was consumed with work. Dealing with all the stuff the elder Jackson kept sending him ate up most of the time he spent at home. His staff in the capitol did most of the day-to-day work of managing Cascadia, but he still had to spend time doing what Jonathan playfully called "Earl Stuff". He smiled a little remembering how Daniel would scowl at him when it called it that. Now, Jonathan realized it was probably intentional. Daniel had been distancing himself from the children out of fear of what might happen if he lost it. Which brought Jonathan right back to watching the man in the next bed. The baby's head butted his hand and he rubbed the spot absently and slowly blinked back more tears. "It's okay, little one. Dad's going to be fine. You'll see him soon enough." He couldn't have told anyone if the tears were due to fear, dread or, what might prove even worse, hope. A last slow blink and Jonathan was finally asleep.

"I felt like I was twelve years old again being sent to the principal's office for arguing with my history teacher about the fall of the Roman Empire." Daniel was quietly complaining to someone. Probably Ian, who was likely mothering him again.

Jonathan lay there on the cusp of waking. //What's the old man been telling him off for this time?// He thought he should go ahead and wake up. It seemed like there was something he was supposed to get up and do, but he was still in that warm half asleep state where nothing seemed terribly important but staying right there. As always, the feeling gradually faded and about the time he realized he wasn't in his own bed another voice jolted him completely awake.

"Now, why am I not surprised by that?" Jonathan's eyes flew open and he suddenly remembered where he was and what was happening. On the other side of Daniel's bed sat Doctor Daniel and Jack, sitting side by side on an empty bed as they talked in low voices. Daniel was sleeping and for the first time since his breakdown he looked peaceful, his color was good and he didn't look like he was in any pain. He hoped that was because he was recovering rather than just the presence of some really good painkillers in one of those IVs.

"What, that I was ever sent to the principal's office?" Jonathan watched Jack roll his eyes and then bump his Daniel's shoulder with his own.

"//That// doesn't surprise me at all. It's just that most boys get sent to the office for skipping school or fighting or something fun. But no, you got in trouble for arguing over history." Jack shook his head in mock disbelief.

"It might be more accurate to say I got //caught// arguing over history." Jonathan knew that smug little smile. "And it was fun. Mr. Peters was an ass." Oh, yeah, he knew exactly who to blame for his and Jose's sons' ability to get into trouble.

"Oh? So, what //didn't// you get caught doing?" //I bet he'll never tell you that one, Jack.//

"Hey, Jonathan." Doctor Daniel shot an innocent look at Jack as he hopped off the bed and headed toward Jonathan with Jack a couple of steps behind him. "I hope we didn't wake you."

"Forget it, Jack. If he's anything like my Daniel, you'll never find out." He rolled to his back and stretched. "And no, you didn't wake me." Jonathan looked back over to Daniel's bed. "How's he doing? Have they said anything?"

"They said a great deal and I'm sure it was very informative, but I didn't understand more than about three words." Jonathan raised his eyebrows and resisted the urge to throttle the man. "Ah, those were 'he'll be all right".

"Jack, that's four words, one of which is a contraction so that might actually,"

"Don't. Just don't, Daniel." Turning to Jonathan he asked, "Is yours this annoying?"

Jonathan took a long look at the peacefully sleeping man and then back to Jack with a grin, "He has his moments." Daniel would be all right. He felt as if one great weight had been lifted. He was still carrying another, but it was easier to bear knowing his husband would be there for him. Jonathan started trying to sit up and realized he had his hand tangled in something.

"Here, let me help you with that." Doctor Daniel moved to the other side of the bed and helped him unwind the IV tubing and then hit the button on the bed to raise the head.

"What's this?" He raised his hand and followed the tube up to a bag filled with clear liquid.

"Frasier can't stand having someone in here without sticking a needle in." Jack sounded as if he spoke from painful experience. Doctor Daniel shot him a quick look that promised something dire if he didn't shut up.

"It's just fluids and a few nutrients. She and Devon thought it best since you haven't been eating much and," he trailed off. Jonathan looked at him and then at Jack.

"How long was I asleep?" The two men looked at each other but neither came up with a number. Jonathan wanted a number.

"Well, let's see, we both got our asses chewed by General Hammond. Some of us actually went home and slept in our own beds, unlike others who apparently prefer sleeping on keyboards." Doctor Daniel's earlier scowl returned. "Maybe ten or twelve hours. Depends on when you fell asleep." That made sense. He did feel better than he had earlier. Part of it was knowing Daniel was on the mend, but he'd felt better before he knew that.

"Where are the doctors anyway?" Now that he was sitting up, he couldn't see either doctor in the infirmary. Several other beds were occupied and a nurse was doing something at one of them. A couple of the men were talking quietly, apparently trying not to disturb the others. He felt a moment of panic. "What happened to them?"

Daniel looked confused and turned to see what he was looking at. His face had cleared when he turned back. "Oh, SG4 ran into a rockslide on their last mission. That's what Janet was up to yesterday when we got back."

"Oh." For a moment he'd feared they'd been horribly wrong about the virus. The last time he'd seen the inside of a hospital other than Devon's small clinic was when he was a patient with rows of other men who were ill or dying along side him. "Are they going to be okay?" The one the nurse was with looked kind of familiar, but he wasn't sure where he might have seen him before.

"Them? Oh, yeah. Just bumped around some." Jack nodded to the men who were awake then stepped a little closer to the nurse as if to see what she was doing.

"Yeah, Carlos and Tom are being released this afternoon." Doctor Daniel indicated the two men Jack had nodded to. "Howard's already gone home and Jeff should be released day after tomorrow." Jonathan realized where he'd seen 'Jeff' before. He looked back at Daniel and then to his visitors.

"Daniel," the urgency in his voice drew Jack back to his bed. "Please, talk to Doctor Frasier. Don't let my Daniel see him." Jonathan's heart was pounding. Daniel didn't need this right now. He saw the look that passed between the two men. "It's important!"

"Hey, take it easy. Daniel, why don't you go find the doc and see what she can do."

"Sure. I'll get her." Doctor Daniel smiled reassuringly at him and then headed off to find Doctor Frasier.

"So, what's up with your Daniel and Howe?" Jonathan closed his eyes and prayed that Daniel would keep sleeping for a while longer.

"It's," he wasn't sure how to say this. When they were //here// it was easy to forget some of the more unpleasant aspects of their real lives. Jeffery Howe represented the one that tormented Daniel most. "It's difficult and I'm not sure you'd really understand." Jack looked back at his Jeffery then back to Jonathan.

"Try me."

Jonathan licked his lips and looked down at his hands as he started stroking his belly. It was a nervous habit when he was pregnant. "It's very personal, Jack." He looked at his counterpart standing there looking strong and tall and more fit than Jonathan had looked in a very long time. A flood of conflicting emotions hit him. Embarrassment at his condition, anger at Jack for being //normal//, fear of the look on Daniel's face if he woke to see a stranger he'd probably impregnated. //Daniel would say 'a man he'd raped'.// "Don't make me beg, Jack. Jeffery did nothing wrong. //Daniel// did nothing wrong, but he never sees it that way. Isn't it enough to know that seeing that man," he gestured toward Jeff, "will hurt him a great deal?" Anger was getting the upper hand now. Was //he// this stubborn? This uncaring? "I won't let that happen!"

Jack looked at him then turned back to look at Jeff and then around again to look at Daniel. Jonathan could almost see the wheels turning. He //knew// the man in front of him was intelligent, though he'd already seen how he tried to hide that fact for some unfathomable reason. "Oh. Oh! You mean they," Jack closed his eyes for a moment and waved one hand between them. He seemed as unwilling to say it as Jonathan had been.

"Daniel does his duty." That's all anyone needed to say at home. The rote response reminded him with a jolt of Devon's comment about the effects of the fertility drugs. He hoped Jack understood that some things just weren't discussed any more than they had to be.

"Duty. Yeah." Jack grimaced. "I guess we've all had to do... things in the line of duty." Jonathan had seen that hard look in the mirror, but that was only since the plague had done it's damage and later only when the memories of his dead children couldn't be denied. He wondered just what kinds of things this man had done in doing //his// duty. Jonathan decided he really didn't want to know. He'd thought of this world as perfect, but the more he saw of what it had done to his counterpart, the less he could believe it. "Anders, could you come over here when you've finished?"

"Yes, sir." The nurse replied quickly then said something to her patient before leaving him. "May I help you, colonel?"

"Set up a privacy screen around these two beds. I'll clear it with Frasier."

"Yes, sir." She walked away and in a few moments Jonathan, Daniel and Jack were secluded from the rest of the infirmary.

"Thank you, Jack." Jonathan felt his anger recede. "I'm still going to ask the doctor to move us somewhere else." Jack nodded just as they heard the click of high heels on concrete. A moment later the curtain opened and suddenly the space was much too small as Doctor Frasier and Doctor Daniel entered.

"Jonathan, it's good to see you awake. How are you feeling?" She didn't wait for his response as she picked up his wrist and started taking his pulse. Having been through this routine he waited until she finished before answering.

"Much better, especially since Jack tells me Daniel's getting better." He couldn't stop smiling.

"Yes, he is. He's doing much better now. We isolated the chemicals that were causing the problem," Jack interrupted her before she could go further.

"Doc, I doubt he wants all the picky details." He looked at Jonathan and raised his eyebrows, "English, right?" Jonathan chuckled.

"Please. In English. I'm sure Devon will give me more of the gory details than I'll ever want to hear." He tried to look behind Doctor Daniel to see if Devon was standing back there. "Where is Devon?"

"He's still in the lab with //our// Doctor Caruthers. They're working on the supplements from the birthing kit you brought with you." She smiled and tried to stifle a laugh. "Neither one of them was quite ready for the experience. But once they got over the shock, they hit it off pretty well."

"Oh, god, two of them! Your Devon's a doctor, too?"

"Actually, he's a biochemist. Very useful pair of skills for this research."

"Our Devon told me once that he'd seriously considered being a doctor at one point." Daniel hitched one hip up on the edge of Jonathan's bed. "You've never said what you do, or did, before."

"Me? Oh, I was an electrical engineer. Still am. Power generation. I don't do as much hands on work as I used to, but I consult with Daniel's people in the capitol and did some work for Jose's family down in California." He thought they'd gone over this stuff the last time, but maybe not in this detail. "Petrochemicals have had to be almost abandoned because they're too labor intensive, not to mention dirty. We still run vehicles with internal combustion engines, but we're working on something to replace them." //Not that the council ever releases resources for it.// To say that this was a bone of contention for Jonathan was a gross understatement. "It just takes more time and more resources than we've got right now. We were already well on the way to converting to alternate sources for electrical power when the invasion happened. Cascadia is the first region on the continent to go completely off petrochemicals for power generation." He couldn't help the pride in his voice. Daniel had fought for every single power station and when they were turned down for funding, he'd dug into his personal fortune and paid for it himself. Horses were even making a comeback for a lot of agricultural work. They came out of Daniel's pocket as well. He'd insisted that Jose's 'dowry' be made up primarily of good breeding stock. Both draft and saddle horses. Jonathan remembered that argument with his father-in-law quite well. It was... loud.

"You left out that you were the one who came up with the basic design, Jonathan." Jonathan shoved Jack out of the way so he could see his husband more clearly. He lay on his side facing Jonathan, smiling a small warm sleepy smile, his blue eyes shining as if he hadn't seen Jonathan for a month.

"Daniel! You're awake! How do you feel? Does your head hurt? Can I get you anything?" Jonathan struggled to sit up more and tried to swing his legs off the bed only to be stopped by a small hand on the arm with the IV. He looked at Doctor Frasier with annoyance. "What?" He barely registered that Daniel was chuckling at his rapid-fire questions.

"Take it easy. I'd really rather you not get up until after you've eaten something."

"Don't wanna eat. Not hungry. Get this thing out of me." He reached over to take out the needle only to have his hand slapped.

"Jonathan! //I'm// the doctor here and //I'll// say when you can get up." He opened his mouth to complain only to be stopped by a stern look. "You're as bad as the colonel and I thought he was the worst patient possible. You can get up //after// you've eaten, not before."

"Love, why are you in that bed?" Daniel was still smiling a bit, but Jonathan could see the worry lines tensing around his eyes.

"I was tired is all and this was where I could be near you."

"Then why do you have an IV?" Jonathan felt guilty for having caused Daniel to worry when he'd been so sick.

"It's just fluids." He looked at the woman next to him. "Just fluids, right?" Was there something they weren't telling him? "Doctor Frasier, please tell him I'm all right." //And while you're at it, tell me, too.//

"All right you two, I see what's happening here and I want it to stop right now." Jonathan met his husband's surprised gaze. "It's bad enough I have to deal with it with these two," she waved a hand at their counterparts, "whenever one of them is in here. You," pointing to Daniel, "are feeling guilty for getting sick and making Jonathan worry." Daniel looked away and a faint flush colored his face. "And //you//," now that stern gaze turned on him, "are feeling guilty for exhausting yourself worrying. Stop it. Both of you. You're both going to be fine and neither of you did it on purpose. Feeling guilty isn't going to help anyone. It will irritate me, though, and it's never a good idea to irritate your doctor." Jonathan noticed that Jack and Doctor Daniel were also looking suitably chastised. She'd apparently hit a nerve.

"Well, technically, Devon's our doctor." Daniel had //that// look in his eye, the one that said 'because I'm the Earl, that's why'.

"Exactly. We're just on loan." Jonathan graced the doctor with a blinding smile.

"C'mon, Doc, we're not //that// bad." Jack was noticeably whining.

"Oh, really?" She crossed her arms and stared down her superior officer.

"Um, Jack?" Doctor Daniel was looking anywhere but at the doctor but he kept sneaking glances at Jonathan and the other two men. "She's, um, she's probably right."

Jack mouthed the word 'traitor' and then pulled himself out of his previous slouch. "Well, //Major//, if I'm not needed here, I'll just be going." With that he turned and stalked out of the enclosure, but not before giving his Daniel a dirty look. As if he suddenly realized he was on his own, Doctor Daniel stood up and sidled in Jack's wake.

"I should probably," he pointed over to the opening, "um, be going, too. Glad to see you both are feeling better. Um, I guess I'll see you later." Before he could escape, Doctor Frasier spoke up.

"Daniel, would you mind letting their Devon know they're awake?" Jonathan couldn't help but smile at his startled expression.

"Oh, uh, sure. I'm just going now." With that he all but fled leaving Jonathan, chuckling, Doctor Frasier shaking her head and Daniel looking on in shock.

"Tell me I don't do that, Jonathan."

"Okay, hon, you don't do that."

"God help me."

Doctor Frasier's smile changed from friendly to professional as she approached Daniel's bed and began to give her other borrowed patient a quick exam. Jonathan just watched and soaked up the sound of his husband's voice. He answered her questions clearly with no hesitation, none of the confusion that had marked his illness was apparent. The questions he asked about what had happened showed he remembered little after meeting Ian outside his study. Doctor Frasier explained about the unknown chemicals found in the fertility drugs supplied by Devon and a little about how they were flushing them from Daniel's system. Jonathan held his breath hoping his husband would just let that ride for the moment. Then he filled him in on the high points of his illness at home, but didn't go into detail with Doctor Frasier there. Daniel heard the gaps anyway and Jonathan knew he'd be tackling the problem of how much to tell him later. He didn't even want to think about it, much less talk about it. It was over and that was fine with him. When they were through, Doctor Frasier relaxed a little and leaned against Daniel's bed to wait for Devon.

"Daniel told me that you two want to be moved to a private room."

"We do?" Daniel looked at her and then at Jonathan in surprise. Jonathan thought quickly, he had to come up with a good excuse because he wasn't going to give the real reason. No way.

"We do. Okay, so //I// want to move." Looking into the expectant faces he plowed on, hoping he could convince them quickly. Daniel would probably see through him, but maybe he was still off enough not to notice. "It's just, well, at home it's not a problem, but here, well..." he trailed off. It wasn't a complete lie. He did feel awkward and on display and embarrassed and it was like it had been back in the beginning. He looked down at his hand rubbing over the bulge that held their daughter. He'd almost forgotten the nightmare of his first pregnancy. It was drown out by the nightmare of the sight of his sill born son and the fear that he'd gone through the whole degrading procedure only to find he'd never be able to carry a living child to term. Jonathan looked up and found his husband looking back, sympathy and understanding in his eyes. Daniel reached out with his hand, and Jonathan could just reach him with his. He blinked back the ever-present tears and squeezed the slightly trembling fingers before letting the other man take his hand back. As much better as Daniel looked, he was still tired and the action seemed to be about as much as he could manage at the moment.

"Ah." Jonathan was grateful for the compassion he could see in Doctor Frasier's face. It could just as easily have been pity or disgust. He'd seen that often enough in the early days. "I understand gentlemen. I'll arrange for you to use one of the isolation rooms for the duration of your visit."

"Thank you, Doctor. That's very kind of you." Daniel looked as if he'd like nothing more but to go back to sleep, but Jonathan knew that expression. He had questions. He always had questions. "As I was waking up, did I hear you say that Devon and, well, Devon were working on the supplements from the birthing kit?"

//Damn,// thought Jonathan,// he would have managed to hear that.// He'd hoped they'd have known one way or another before having to tell Daniel about it. Jonathan watched his expressive face and his hope of getting through this easily slowly died. The blood drained from Daniel's face and he gasped.

"My god! Oh, my god!" He stopped, trying to catch his breath, but shock and outright fear had him breathing too fast. Jonathan started heaving himself off his bed. Daniel was starting to hyperventilate. "The supplements! We've been," he was panting despite the doctor's attempts to get him to calm down, "every time! Oh, god, Jonathan! //We// did it!"

"Anders!" Doctor Frasier yelled for the nurse. Jonathan took her place at Daniel's side while she issued orders to her nurse.

"Love, we didn't know. We still don't //know// we're just making sure." He was lying and he knew it. No one had any real doubts, not after the tainted fertility drugs had been confirmed. It was the only thing that made sense. He awkwardly hitched himself up on the bed and put his arms around his distraught husband. Daniel's arms went around him desperately as he pressed his face into Jonathan's shoulder nodding as they started to rock together. Panting gave way to wracking sobs and Jonathan felt his shoulder getting wet. He felt corresponding wetness running down his own face. This was why he'd wanted to wait. As long as he was the only one who even suspected, he could keep it together for Daniel's sake. He could lie to himself and pretend he didn't know. Now, now all they could do was share their pain. The scarred edges of half-healed emotional wounds bled anew as guilt sliced through them. Together they grieved again for the little ones they'd lost. Children they'd murdered.

Melbourne and Carlos had been stillborn. With little Elias the miscarriage had come so late that it felt like a stillbirth. When Jose insisted on naming him, no one dissented. Their daughters, though. Jonathan buried his own face in Daniel's hair and sobbed. He could hear Daniel whispering their names over and over, his voice thick and broken. They'd been alive and beautiful and real. He'd held little Claire in her first moments and felt the life flow out of her as she died days later, unknowingly murdered by her own parents. He felt Daniel relaxing in his arms as a gentle hand settled on his shoulder. He looked through tear filled eyes to see Doctor Frasier hand a syringe off to Nurse Anders. She helped him lay Daniel back on the bed. Whatever drug she'd administered had calmed him and he was drifting back to sleep still chanting "Claire, Maria, Claire, Maria" in a thick slurred voice until his swollen, red eyes slid shut and he fell into a drugged sleep.

Jonathan clapped his hand over his mouth as he felt his own grief rising again. He wanted to lay with Daniel and take comfort from his heartbeat, his scent, the brush of his love's breath on his cheek but the bed was too narrow for them both to lie down. He allowed the doctor to ease him off Daniel's bed and urge him onto his own. She was speaking to someone, but he couldn't tell whom. He wanted to ask, to confess, to say anything, but he knew if he opened his mouth he'd start screaming and never stop. He felt like he was going mad. He couldn't do this alone. A small soft hand stroked his hair and another rubbed his shoulder. She murmured to him and offered what comfort she could while he sobbed helplessly into the pillow that was too small and too hard and didn't smell right. Jonathan wanted to go home. Just take Daniel and go home and lay down together in their bed and pretend none of this had happened. Ignorance may not be bliss, but this knowledge, this horrific knowledge was worse. They'd killed their own daughters! Now that the knowledge was shared, he couldn't deny it any longer. He'd killed her. He'd given her the supplements with every feeding. He'd killed her as surely as if he'd put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger.

Large hands replaced small ones and a familiar, dear voice spoke to him. //Daniel?// He pried open swollen eyes and saw Daniel's gentle eyes looking back. Jonathan lunged for him and held onto him as if he were a life preserver. He didn't let himself think of his sedated husband sleeping in the next bed. The man who rocked him felt right, he smelled right and the gentle soothing voice speaking his name eventually eased his grief enough for him to welcome the darkness when it came for him. If there were any justice in this life, he'd never wake up.

~*~

CHAPTER 15

Daniel rubbed his eyes again and tried to concentrate on the tablet before him. He looked back over his notes and shook his head. It didn't make any more sense in English than it did in the original. It reminded him of some sort of Proto-Sinitic offshoot, but Asian languages weren't his strong suit. He threw his pen down and leaned back in his chair. He was getting nowhere. It would likely have to wait until their resident expert returned. He tried to remember when she was due back from maternity leave and drew a blank. Maternity leave. He'd retreated to his office to try and clear his mind, but everything seemed to remind him of Jonathan and Daniel. There were so many reasons why he didn't want to do that right now. From the moment he heard Daniel's tale he knew he'd have // things// to think about. //Was this what Sam went through?// Then, meeting Jonathan had added a whole new dimension to the matter. Now, this new //thing// with Jack was getting even weirder. Maybe this was normal, given the circumstances. He rested his elbows on his desk and buried his face in his hands and laughed uneasily. This situation was a lot of things, but Daniel decided the one word that didn't apply was //normal//.

When Janet had called for him to come back to the infirmary, he'd had no idea what he'd find. It hadn't taken long for him to figure it out, even without her hurried explanation. Holding Jonathan while he grieved had seemed the most natural thing in the world and he'd been glad to have been able to offer the other man whatever comfort he could. He'd been surprised by his own feelings of protectiveness towards Jack's other self. Lord Daniel and Jonathan were the men he and Jack might have been and //that// was the crux of the matter. Daniel knew something Jack didn't. He'd known from the first visit that the two of them had gotten together long before Nirrti invaded. Daniel sighed. Jack would eventually find out. The only question was would it be better for it to just happen, or should Daniel break the news to him. In a way he hoped it could just stay unsaid forever. On the other hand, an aspect of Daniel that he hadn't thought about for a very long time was emerging from the back of his mind and he had no idea what to do about it. Or if he should do //anything// about it. Just what he needed, another complication. But this wasn't about him and Jack. That problem would have to wait its turn.

Daniel got up to refill his coffee cup and he tried to imagine what the other men must be going through. Jonathan hadn't said a word. He'd just sobbed into Daniel's chest hanging on for dear life before finally falling asleep. //Escaped into sleep, is more like it.// He had nothing really to compare to it. The closest he could come was giving up Shifu to Oma, but he knew that didn't qualify. Shifu had never been his, or maybe only his by proxy. He'd known about him for less than a day before leaving him with Kasuf and then only saw him again when he met Oma. Now, he at least knew Shifu was out there. Somewhere. Perhaps they'd spent time together while he was ascended, but with the memories gone, it might just as well not have happened.

Daniel knew what it was to loose parents, friends, his sweet, beautiful wife. He knew the pain of children never conceived, but to lose a child and then to discover it was by your own hand. He only knew one person who could relate to that. A shiver ran down his spine.

"Idiot! I am an //idiot//!" He leapt out of his chair, stumbling over the trashcan and his own feet in his haste. He had to get to the infirmary. Daniel ran into the corridor grabbing the doorframe to help him change direction without slowing. Running flat out to the elevators he dodged people as best he could. The elevator took an eternity to arrive. He shifted from one foot to the other tapping impatiently on his leg. "Come on!" Finally the doors opened and then he paced the confined space for another eternity on his way to level 21. He spotted the emergency phone. "The phone! Damn! I should have just called her!" He slapped his hand against the wall and cursed. He was out into the corridor before the doors fully opened, knocking down an SF who'd been waiting for the elevator. "Sorry, sorry!" //Hope he's never on an SAR when we're stuck somewhere.// He dashed into the infirmary and skidded to a stop, his heart pounding. "No!" Their beds were empty.

"Daniel?" He whirled and found Jeff Howe looking at him like he'd just sprouted another head. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Fine. I'm, I'm fine. Do you know what happened to them?" He pointed to the now empty beds. He wondered, again, what it was about Jeff that had had Jonathan so upset. What was up with his counterpart?

"Oh, yeah, Doctor Frasier moved them out a little while ago. I think they were going to an iso room." Isolation room. Right! He'd forgotten about that. Daniel started to relax a little. They'd be under better supervision there.

"Thanks, Jeff. Have you seen Janet recently?" This didn't solve the problem, but it might make it easier to deal with.

"I think she was headed to the biochem lab about an hour ago." Jeff seemed to have something else to say, but looked like he had no idea how to go about it.

"Is something wrong?" Daniel was beginning to feel a little foolish for his overreaction. He still needed to talk to Janet, but if Jeff needed something, he could spare him a moment. Or two. Maybe two.

"Just... it's just weird seeing them, y'know?" Jeff rubbed his temple, neatly avoiding the bandage on his forehead. Daniel remembered he'd suffered a minor concussion which was why he was still there after the rest of his team had been released. "It must be even weirder to meet, well, yourself."

//Oh, brother, you have no idea.// Daniel smiled a little. "It's certainly different." Taking one last look at the empty beds, he turned to go find Janet. "Hope you're feeling better." Jeff's response trailed behind him and Daniel was in the corridor again. This time moving at a slightly more civilized pace.

"Janet?" He'd finally tracked her down in the commissary. "Got a minute? I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, Daniel, pull up a chair." He sat down across from her and took in what she had on her tray.

"You're going to //eat// that?" It looked vile. He glanced back over his shoulder to see who else was in the room with them. It was an off-hour so there weren't many others. He was stalling and he knew it. Maybe he was really overreacting. Daniel lowered his voice and asked, "They didn't let Teal'c in the kitchen again, did they?" He'd tried some of Teal'c's cooking over the years. He hadn't gotten sick yet, but figured it was only a matter of time.

"God, I hope not." She grinned at him. She'd been there for some of their friend's culinary experiments. At least he hoped they were experiments. He'd hate to think those had been treasured family recipes. "What can I do for you?"

Daniel took a deep breath, but kept his voice low. This wasn't for public consumption. Fortunately, there was no one close enough to overhear them. "It's about Jonathan." Janet's smile faded and she sighed.

"I can't imagine how he's going to cope with this."

"See, Janet, that's the problem. I //can// imagine it." She looked at him curiously. "Janet, I've //seen// how Jonathan O'Neill copes with the death of a child." Janet dropped her fork as her face reflected her understanding.

"Oh, my god." She shoved her chair back and started for the door. "I'm an idiot."

Daniel followed close behind her. "My words exactly."

Janet's staff was amazing. Daniel had spent far more time with them over the years than he had ever wanted to, but watching them in action when he wasn't drugged out of his mind was a pleasure. The suicide watch took less time to arrange than he'd thought. That made him realize the Air Force probably had a procedure for it just like it had a procedure for virtually everything. His natural curiosity nearly had him asking how often she'd had to do this until he realized he probably didn't want to know. He was a little afraid of what he'd see in her face when she answered him. There were a couple of times when it might have been him in that bed with someone watching at all times. Daniel really didn't want to know. Maybe he used to and those particular memories had never resurfaced. He could live with that. "Thanks, Daniel. I don't know what I would have done if something had happened."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just sorry I didn't think of it earlier."

"//I// should have thought of it. I've seen the colonel's file. I should have thought of it." Daniel shook his head.

"Janet, we've all be working so hard to keep //them//," he pointed to the sleeping men on the other side of the observation window, "separate from //us// that it's no wonder it didn't hit you." He chewed his lip a moment. "It wouldn't have occurred to me except that the look in Jonathan's eyes was so familiar." He looked down at the floor. "And then I started trying to imagine what he must be going through and there's only one person I know who'd be able to do that." He looked back up at Janet and shrugged. "That's when I remembered where I'd, um, seen it before."

"Did I thank you for what you did earlier? That must have been difficult, but I didn't want to sedate him. I wouldn't sedate a pregnant woman if I could avoid it. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"I don't mind, Janet. I was glad to help." Daniel crossed his arms tightly across his chest and looked into the isolation room again. He wished he could talk to her. Tell her how it felt to hold Jonathan like that. Something was happening and it terrified him as much as it excited him. He wished he could talk to //anyone// about it. Daniel sighed. This was the wrong time and definitely the wrong place to be running that topic through the wringer. No matter what was going through his head and his life, Jonathan had it so much worse. "He was so lost, Janet." He and his Daniel needed them. Daniel's life would work itself out or not.

"They both are, Daniel. Jonathan seemed to have been handling it pretty well until his Daniel figured it out. They both just fell apart."

"Can you blame them?"

"No, no I can't. I haven't felt that helpless since," she glanced quickly away from him. "Well, in a long time." Daniel swallowed. They'd never talked about his death. No one did, really, which was generally fine with him. Remembering it was hard enough.

"Janet?" He placed a finger on her chin and turned her face toward him. There were no tears on her face, but her eyes were suspiciously moist. "Did I ever thank you for that?"

"I couldn't save you," she whispered. "I couldn't //do// anything!" He pulled her to him and hugged her close. He told himself it was for her, but her answering hug was more welcome than he'd expected. He pushed back stray images from his nightmares.

"No, you couldn't save me. No one could. It was too late the moment I pulled my gun." He rubbed her back gently and frowned, remembering. "I think I knew that at the time, but that doesn't matter. What matters is," he pulled back so he could look into her face and smiled a little, "What matters is you //did// do something. You were kind and you were gentle. You were //there// and that meant a great deal, even if I wasn't in any shape to tell you about it at the time. You did a lot and I'm more grateful than I can say."

They stood together for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts of that time. Wanting nothing more than to clear his mind of his death, Daniel concentrated on the woman in his arms. She felt good. Round where it counted, she was also an interesting mix of delicacy and strength. //So why isn't this doing anything for me?// Finally, Daniel pulled away, a little embarrassed by his display and more than a little embarrassed by his thoughts, but glad to have finally spoken to her about it. Janet seemed to feel the same as she cleared her throat and fell back into doctor mode. "Remembering that must have been difficult. Have you spoken to anyone about it?" Daniel smiled and resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Actually, yes. I have." He didn't tell her it was less than a week ago. She didn't respond. Daniel knew she wanted him to elaborate, but that wasn't going to happen. He'd talked to Jack. If he needed to talk again, which he doubted, he'd talk to him. Daniel's heart rate shot up as he thought, //It always comes back to Jack. I don't know if I can do this//. Janet sighed and gave in.

"Good." She didn't let him off completely. "Remember, if it gets to be too much, I can arrange an appointment with a therapist."

"Ah, got one who specializes in real death experiences?" His smile didn't quite meet his eyes. Her answering smile at his pun didn't quite meet hers, either.

"Right. Still, the offer stands." Daniel's smile faded. "//If// you need it." He nodded, accepting the condition. As long as he was going to be in control, he'd let her have her illusion. No way was he getting involved with anyone from Mental Health again if he could avoid it. Been there, done that, got the nightmares. "You're obviously dealing with this better than anyone could have dreamed, though why that should be a surprise considering everything else you've dealt with over the years is beyond me."

"What can I say, I've got a good doctor." The awkward moment passed and he followed Janet out of the observation booth, his mind already drifting back to the Proto-Sinitic tablet waiting for him on his desk. There were still a couple of resources he hadn't tried yet. This was much easier than where his mind //had// been wandering.

"I'll give you a call when they wake up."

"What? Oh. Right. Thanks, Janet." He gave her a perfunctory smile and turned away.

"Jonathan might want a cuddle." He did roll his eyes at that. He shook his head, gave her a little wave and headed back to his office hoping she hadn't spotted his physical reaction to her joke. He had to get a grip on this. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the back of the elevator. Now he was making suggestive remarks to himself. Daniel wondered how long it would take for him to feel really comfortable in his own skin again.

"Hey, Daniel." Daniel looked up from the book he'd borrowed from Dr. Weller's office to see Lou Ferretti in his doorway.

"Hey, Lou." Something was wrong about this. "Aren't you supposed to be," he searched his memory for the planet designation finally giving up when he couldn't come up with it. The planet had nothing to interest him, so he hadn't bothered to remember it. "Well, out there somewhere testing dirt?" He waved his hand upward.

"Yep, but the general decided we could wait until the hurricane passed."

"Yeah." The thought of stepping out of the gate into a hurricane had never occurred to him. "He's generous that way." Now, he was afraid he'd never stop thinking about it every time he stood on the ramp. He gave himself a mental shake and concentrated on his friend. "So, what can I do for you?"

Lou wandered in and leaned against the wall. "You seen the colonel recently?"

Daniel nodded. "A few hours ago, he was heading off to some meeting or other. Why?" Daniel slipped his pencil in the book to mark his place and closed it.

His friend picked at a button on his BDU shirt. "He seem bothered by anything?"

Warning bells were going off in Daniel's head. "No, not really, but," he paused, "you know Jack."

"Yes, I do and I didn't like what I just saw." Daniel was wondering just how much trouble he'd get into if he strangled a team leader.

"I often don't like what I see Jack doing. Was this something in particular?"

"Daniel." Lou seemed to be lost in thought for a moment. "Remember how he was on that first mission?" Daniel nodded, not really liking where this was going, but needing to know. "Well, I took my guys to the firing range when our mission got scrubbed. Needed to let them work off the adrenaline, you know how it is." Daniel knew. They all got a little hyped up before going through the gate. Having it called off at the last minute sometimes left teams floundering physically and emotionally. No matter how many times a team went through the gate, there was always a kick of adrenaline just from walking into the gate room. Jack usually dragged them, well, dragged //him// off to the gym to work it off, but the firing range worked just as well. "The colonel was there. Daniel, he looked," Daniel finally realized that Lou looked scared. Daniel stood up and approached his visitor. "He looked like he did back then. His eyes... let's just say we didn't stay on the range." He heaved himself away from the wall. "In fact, the place was empty except for him and Sergeant Miller and the only reason he didn't bug out is because he's posted there." Lou took a few steps toward the door then turned back around. "I thought you should know."

"Oh? Why?" //Don't be stupid, Daniel, of course he'd come to you.//

"Because you're the only one I know brave enough to go talk to him."

"Oh." Lou thought he was brave. While he didn't get hassled by the military types these days, they didn't generally go out of their way to compliment civilians. "Really."

"Or maybe it's crazy enough." Lou broke into a huge smile, slapped Daniel on the back and left his office.

"Right." He said to Lou's back. He snorted and shook his head then stopped worrying about the merits of brave versus crazy. Jack must have heard about what happened in the infirmary. Daniel rubbed his eyes. Lou was right. He needed to be the one to go talk to Jack. Who else could do it? He was, after all, Jack's best friend. Daniel was halfway to the elevator before he realized he'd left his office.

Daniel approached the small crowd gathered around the entrance to the firing range with trepidation. He slowed and a path cleared for him. He looked at them curiously and finally located Lou. "What's all this?" Lou shrugged.

"They're worried." He glanced at some of the faces. "Curious."

Daniel leaned in and lowered his voice. "Would you mind?" He nodded at the personnel in the corridor. "Probably be better if they weren't out here when," he let his voice trail off.

"On it." Lou replied quietly, "And Daniel, I'll have a word with the general if you want to take him out of here." Daniel nodded gratefully as Lou started to move through the group, dispersing them quietly and letting them know that "me and the doc would take care of things". Once they were all drifting away, Daniel went into the staging area between the corridor and the range. He paused just long enough to grab a set of ear protectors and goggles.

Miller was new, but seeing him standing unobtrusively in the back of the shooters area looking everywhere but at Jack let Daniel know this was someone to watch. The new sergeant seemed to understand Jack's need for privacy, only his own sense of duty kept him there. Too many soldiers had shown up at the SCG without that level of compassion. They generally didn't last long. Miller was studiously ignoring the base's 2IC who was in the process of decimating yet another target with his 9MM. Daniel didn't think Jack's choice of weapon was an accident. He had the impression Jack was emptying himself, his pain, his rage through the gun into the target. The ear protectors did their job, but he could feel the percussion in his bones, a corresponding ache in his heart. Whenever he thought of Charlie, Daniel always, //always// heard the screech of a breaking chain and the moment of shocked silence before the screaming began. That moment of silence sometimes lasted forever in his nightmares. Daniel pushed that memory aside, this was about Jack, not about him.

Daniel didn't like this room at the best of times. Of all things, it made him claustrophobic. Hell of a thing for an archeologist. He much preferred target shooting outside, but sometimes the underground range was all there was time for. Blizzards could be problematic for the outdoor range, too. The litter on the floor in front of the perforated paper told him Jack had been at this for quite a while. Daniel caught Miller's eye and mimed a question. Miller shook his head and indicated Jack was on his last clip. Seems Miller wasn't ignoring him after all. Daniel's estimation of the man rose. He nodded and then gestured to door, his eyebrows raised in question. Miller hesitated, obviously wanting to leave, but not willing to desert his post. At that moment, Lou walked in, jerked a thumb at the door and Miller left, apparently more than ready to turn his post over to his superior.

Daniel nodded to Lou and slowly approached Jack from the side. He knew better than to sneak up on him. He stopped a couple of stalls away and leaned on the divider. He waited and he watched. The man before him was a virtual stranger. Daniel had met him a very long time ago, but somewhere during that first mission, this man had started to disappear and be replaced by //his// Jack. Daniel pondered that phrase for a moment. He'd been using it a lot lately. He rubbed the back of his neck as his thoughts skittered around what it might mean. Coupled with all the other crap running through his head, he really didn't want to think too much about it. It's not like the other O'Neill even went by the same name, but it just seemed right to... to what? Claim ownership? Daniel frowned, not sure he liked that idea, yet the thought of not laying some sort of claim to //his// Jack made him uneasy. He knew he could be as territorial as the next man, but territorial over //Jack//?

Motion drew his attention away from his disordered thoughts and back to his friend. Right, that's all it was, he decided. Jack was his friend. His //best// friend. His best friend who was in pain and needed help, if he'd ever admit it or not. Jack fired the last shot and stood looking at the target. He ejected the empty clip and placed it in with a pile of others to his side, his movements smooth, but mechanical, his face carefully blank. Reaching for a new one, he seemed surprised not to find it there.

"Miller!" He shouted and turned to look for the sergeant. Daniel gave him a nod when Jack looked his way. Jack's expression wavered, a serious of unidentifiable expressions crossed his face before it settled into that same dead blankness Daniel remembered from all those years ago. He found it hurt to be faced with this passionless stranger again. They'd come through fire and death together. It was as if all their shared pain and joy had been wiped away. Daniel straightened up, took off his protective gear and took a few steps toward him. Lou got there first. Lou had his protective gear in his hand and casually reached for Jack's pistol.

"Here, Colonel. I'll take care of that for you." Jack looked at his hand as if seeing the weapon for the first time. He shuddered and handed it off to Lou who was frankly babbling about the targets, what a pain it was to find the time to come to the range. Daniel thought there was even a comment on the weather, but he wasn't sure. He was focused on Jack and wishing he knew what was running through his mind. He knew what was in his heart, but there really wasn't any way to reach that. //Or,// he stilled as a new thought hit him, // maybe there was.// This was supposed to have been their "lost weekend". A chance to figure out how they felt about meeting up with Lord Daniel and Jonathan. How to deal with all the crap their presence stirred up. They didn't have a whole weekend, but maybe they could have a night. Jack looked like he could do with getting completely wasted. If Daniel could convince him to talk a little in the process, so much the better. Maybe it would even help Daniel deal with his newfound //stuff//.

//He looks like he could use a hug.// Daniel felt himself blink rapidly as he wondered where that had come from. He didn't hug. Jack hugged. People hugged Daniel, sometimes. He'd always felt hugs were intimate and he rarely felt comfortable enough with people to initiate them. The sense memory of Jonathan's back under his hands and his body pressed against Daniel's rushed through him and Daniel's body responded as it had to Janet's joke. //What the hell?// Daniel started to shove his hands in his pockets and then realized that was a very bad idea. He finally settled on crossing his arms and was glad he was wearing his over shirt.

Finally Lou had possession of all the equipment and Jack stood there looking around, though Daniel wasn't sure what he was really seeing. "Jack?" The other man finally looked at him. "Are you all right, Jack?" He nodded, his mouth clamped shut. "C'mon, let's take off. Lou's clearing it with the general." Another nod and Daniel gestured toward the door as he casually spun on his heel and headed out of the range. A moment later, he heard Jack following him. Daniel got to the door and held it open for his friend. He waved at Lou and followed Jack into the now empty corridor.

The drive from the mountain was made in silence. Jack hadn't said a word since the range, just done whatever Daniel ordered or even suggested. He'd gotten into Daniel's car without argument. Jack usually insisted on driving his truck. Said Daniel's car was too cramped. He'd shut down. Daniel was beginning to doubt that he'd be able to bring him out of this on his own. He started to wonder if maybe he should just take Jack home and let him be for the night. Maybe he just needed some time alone. Daniel was equally afraid of what would happen if he were wrong. They'd lose him. //He'd// lose him and Daniel had lost almost every other important person in his life. He wasn't losing his friend. Somehow he'd have to find a way to reach him. He wasn't losing Jack.

~*~

CHAPTER 16

The pit was opening before him and his ghosts were out of their boxes, lining up to push him in. Jack stared out the car window. He wanted to thank Daniel for knowing he needed to get out of the mountain, but he was afraid to open his mouth. He couldn't even remember changing into his civvies. Jack was teetering on the edge and knew it wouldn't take much to send him over it. His mind ran in an endless loop through his pain, his failures, his dead future stretching out before him. He thought he should care but was unsurprised to find he didn't.

"Got anything to drink at your place?" Something in Daniel's voice cut through his fugue and Jack finally dragged his attention away from the passing scenery. His friend drove with uncharacteristic intensity. Daniel had looked like that just before jumping out of the plane over Siberia. He'd seen that look on countless missions. Jack imagined he'd had the same expression when he'd shot out that window on Kelowna. Daniel was heading into danger but nothing short of his death would deter him. //He knows I need to forget.// Jack felt the pit slide a little farther away. //Daniel's in the same boat.// He remembered his thoughts in the storeroom. If he made this about Daniel maybe he could get through it. Bury his own agony and concentrate on the man next to him. He could do that. He was good at that. He didn't used to be, which is why Sara left, but Jack had learned a lot in the past few years. He quickly replayed the sounds in his head and tried to make sense of what Daniel had said a moment ago. The man had asked him something.

"Yeah. I think so." Jack was rewarded with a surprised glance and a quick grin.

"Stronger than beer?" He shrugged. Jack really couldn't remember what was there. Daniel took his silence for his answer.

"We'll stop. Dinner? You, um, you hungry?" //Daniel's as crap at this as I am.// Jack found the thought oddly cheering. He supposed he should wish Daniel had a magic wand that would make it all go away, but their similarity was comforting. He decided they had a lot more in common than most people realized.

"He's going to try and kill himself." Jack blinked. His mouth was running off without him again. At this rate, they'd never let him through the gate again. He'd be spouting GDO codes before the Jaffa could say 'Kree!'

"I know." Daniel glanced over at him then continued in the same soft voice, "I told Janet. She's handling it." Jack nodded. He should have known Daniel would catch on. Jack's head thumped against the headrest. He used the impact to push his ghosts farther away. "Yeah. Dinner." They shared a more comfortable silence for a couple of miles. "Pizza?"

More silence as Daniel watched the traffic as they drove through an intersection. "Chinese?"

"Burgers." Jack considered, very briefly, firing up the grill when they got to his place. "Wendy's?"

"Works for me." Daniel checked the traffic on Jack's side of the car and moved over two lanes. The closest was a little out of the way, but worth it. Their fries sucked, but the burgers were good, if a little odd.

"Why are the patties square?"

"I have no idea." Jack let a small smile loose and shoved the waiting shades farther into the shadows. They were still there, still taunting him with their presence, but, for the moment, their power was diminished. Jack turned back to his window. He had reinforcements now and they couldn't fight both of them.

The litter from their meal decorated the coffee table. They'd cracked open the first bottle of scotch before unwrapping the four triple patty hamburgers. Jack leaned back in his corner of the sofa glass in hand. Daniel was sitting on the floor between the table and the sofa. Jack watched him as he built something with the rest of the now cold fries. Jack had a nice warm glow from slugging back a few shots before dinner. The alcohol dulled his mind and the company kept him focused on something outside himself. And the company was great. Get a couple of drinks into Daniel and he did stuff like this. Beer got him philosophical. Wine maudlin. Liquor, though, liquor was much more fun. At least for the rest of them.

"Whatcha doin'?" Daniel turned and looked up at him over his glasses. Given that they'd slipped down to the end of his nose, it wasn't difficult. Looking through them would have been nothing short of a miracle.

"I'm building a fence, Jack." He enunciated very carefully, not yet slurring his words. Only someone who knew him well would likely realize just how not sober he was. His expression, however, seemed to question Jack's powers of observation and quite likely his intelligence for not being able to see the obvious. He turned back to his self-appointed task.

"Of course you are." Now that he knew, Jack could kind of make out a sort of rail fence-like structure in the semi-circular stacks of French fries around the puddle of ketchup they'd been using earlier. "Afraid the ketchup might escape?"

Again the look like he was a defective three-year-old. "Not ketchup." Daniel paused to take a healthy swig from his glass. "It's that, um..." Daniel stopped, frowning in concentration. "That, umm, thing from," he waved vaguely, "from that planet." Apparently satisfied that he'd fully explained himself, he returned to his construction site. Scarily enough, Jack knew what he was talking about. They'd run into a creature of some kind that, now that he thought about it, did sort of resemble a puddle of ketchup. Only that 'puddle' dissolved anything organic it came into contact with and they'd had to run to get back to gate before they became its next meal. Not to mention all its sisters and its cousins and its aunts who showed up for dinner. Daniel drained his glass and reached for the bottle sitting in front of Jack.

"Whoa, there, Danny boy, don't you think you've had enough for now?" Their hands met around the neck of the bottle. The warmth of the other man's hand startled Jack when he'd been expecting nothing but cool glass. Daniel shifted his position to get more leverage on the scotch and leaned against Jack's leg. He was warm and heavy. Blue eyes stared into his. Jack started to make a joke about what he would and wouldn't do on a first date but it died before he could open his mouth. Daniel's expression was familiar. It was usually directed at a puzzle he'd just untangled. Jack couldn't remember it ever being directed at him before. Then it was gone. The strong warm hand under his flexed and Daniel retrieved the bottle with a jerk and settled back into his own space removing his glasses and tossing them on the table. Jack's hand and leg felt cold where Daniel had been touching him.

"Nope." Daniel sounded suddenly sober. "I can still think." He filled his glass and gestured to Jack's with the bottle. Jack nodded, his numbed mind trying to work out what had just happened. He couldn't shake the feeling that something about their friendship had changed in the past week. That it had changed even more just now.

Daniel leaned back over pressing heavily against his leg again as he filled the glass. Jack was warm again. It spread from his leg throughout the rest of his body, settling somewhere very unexpected. Jack took a long drink from his glass and watched as Daniel shifted over so he was sitting right next to Jack's leg. He brought his glass with him and downed half of it before setting it down a little unsteadily on the table. Jack reached down and clasped his friend's shoulder. Just a friendly hand on the shoulder. He had an urge to do more when Daniel let his head fall gently onto Jack's thigh with a contented sigh. He wanted to resist the urge, but his scotch-muddled brain couldn't find any reason to do so. He moved his hand to Daniel's neck and gently stroked the fine hair with his thumb. Daniel rubbed his cheek against Jack's thigh and placed one hand on Jack's knee while the other arm snaked around the leg he was leaning on. His hand wrapped gently around Jack's ankle where he mirrored Jack's motion.

"That feels good, Jack." Jack wanted to agree with him, but for once his mouth didn't respond. It did feel good. Maybe too good. But that didn't mean he wanted it to stop. Daniel's hair was soft and he was warm and Jack was enjoying the way his body was responding to the unexpected contact.

"What's happening to us, Danny?" He ventured a little further running the tip of his finger around the back of his friend's ear. The hand around his ankle slipped down to gently rub the top of his bare foot.

"Not sure." Daniel's voice was as quiet as Jack's had been. "Do you want it to stop?" His hand was still running over Jack's foot, so maybe this wasn't his way of offering an easy out to his friend. Jack continued his cautious exploration of the area around his hand, never moving far as if this particular place was the only spot he had permission to touch. Touching anywhere else might break the spell.

"No." He decided to risk something new and ran his hand a little up into Daniel's hair. //So soft, so silky.// "No, I'm good." No lightning bolt and the ground didn't open up and swallow him. He smoothed down the hair he'd mussed and in a bold move ran the tips of his fingers down the side of his friend's face. He couldn't see Daniel's face, but he thought he felt him smile. His cheek and jaw were rough with stubble. Jack realized he found the change in texture amazingly erotic. It had been a very long time since he'd allowed himself to think in those terms about another man. Even then, he hadn't done much more than this. Fear of being caught and tossed out of the Academy had put paid to that relationship before it got off the ground.

Jack wasn't a kid anymore. He'd hurt too much, //died// too often to let this scare him. Escape total annihilation a few times and something like this didn't faze him. After two snakes in his head, this was easy, so very easy and Jack thought he might just let himself fall.

"Yes, you are." Now he did feel Daniel grin. The hand on Jack's foot moved away and he started to object until he realized Daniel was shifting around to face him. His foot was warmed again by the inside of Daniel's lower thigh and his leg was now partially embraced by a muscular arm. Daniel rested his chin on the back of his own hand and stared up at Jack. "You're remarkably calm about this." Jack just nodded and with newfound confidence cupped Daniel's cheek in his hand.

"It's easy." Noting the raised eyebrow at that comment, Jack added, "//This// is easy. Us." He carded through Daniel's hair and was rewarded with half-closed blue eyes and a soft almost-moan. "After," he returned his hand to the handsome face of his friend, "everything," he wasn't quite sure how to put it.

"Pain, torture, death?" The soft smile on Daniel's face made the words seem ludicrous, but somehow it fit. Everything seemed to be slotting into place all the sudden.

"Yeah, that." He ran a finger over the smiling lips. They really were an awful lot alike. At least in the things that mattered most. "After that, us is easy." Daniel put his hand over the back of Jack's and placed a chaste kiss in the palm.

"Yeah." He breathed the word into Jack's palm. "Us is easy." His warm breath caressed the place his lips had been and Jack felt a tingle in the pit of his stomach and the warmth below grew. Daniel nuzzled into his hand for a moment, then pulled back enough to clasp Jack's hand in his own, palm-to-palm, resting on Jack's leg. They sat like that for a moment, gently smiling at each other, gazes steady as if seeing the other man for the first time.

Jack finally identified what he'd been feeling over the past few days and it made him smile. This wasn't the time, not when things were still so new and definitely not after as much scotch as they'd had. "I want," he'd experienced the feelings before, but wasn't sure how to say it. He'd had enough trouble getting his point across to Sara.

"Yeah." But this was Daniel. Jack's smile widened. Of course he didn't have to speak. "But," Jack wanted to say they needed to do this right, whatever //this// was. He knew what he wanted it to be, but that came with time.

"Slow," came the expected response. Jack nodded. They were in the middle of something and they didn't need the distraction of work. Jack didn't want to be thinking about Lord Daniel and Jonathan when he should be thinking about //them//. Daniel shifted and heaved himself up off the floor. Somehow he managed to retain possession of Jack's hand. He tugged. Jack took the hint and stood up.

"Slow." Jack agreed. "After it's all," Jack couldn't have held onto a train of thought with a tractor beam. He just wanted to dive into those brilliant blue eyes and never come out. Daniel reestablished eye contact as he raised Jack's hand to his lips. Jack held his breath as Daniel kissed his knuckles before releasing him. Suddenly there were strong warm hands on his waist, pulling him close.

"After it's over." Daniel whispered into Jack's ear and wrapped his arms around the older man, holding him close, running his hands sensuously over Jack's lower back nuzzling his neck. Automatically, Jack returned the embrace, feeling a surge of desire that wasn't entirely due to the pressure of his erection against the other man. He moved against Daniel a little and found an answering hardness. Jack had rarely had a lover who took the initiative. Whenever they did it was incredible. The feeling that someone desired him enough, //trusted// him enough to ignore his often dominating personality was the most amazing turn on for him. He got tired of making all the moves, all the decisions. His decisions usually risked someone's life. He didn't want that following him into the bedroom.

"Yeah. After." At least he hoped that's what he said. Jack really wasn't certain since there wasn't much blood flow to his brain and what blood was there was at least eighty proof.

Daniel pulled back enough to place a hand on Jack's face and whisper, "Works for me." He moved his hand through Jack's hair until he could clasp the back of Jack's neck, then pulled him close and kissed him. Whatever still functional synapses Jack had left fried in that moment. He opened his mouth and let Daniel in. Whatever the other man wanted was his. He would have signed over whatever was left of his soul in that moment if Daniel had asked him for it. Jack curled his arms up around the other man's broad shoulders. The half-remembered, half-imagined embraces of his youth faded in the reality of the strong mature man in his arms, the well-muscled arms around him. The warmth he'd felt earlier flashed to volcanic heat. He returned the kiss tasting salt, scotch and the faint tang of ketchup. Underneath was a unique something that whispered 'Daniel'. It melded with the heady scent of sweat and musk and Jack feared he might come right then and there.

He was reluctant to break their kiss, but he needed to breathe. "Oh, god, Danny, you're good at that." He panted a little into his lover's neck, unconsciously rubbing against him. His hands gently kneaded Daniel's back and he had to restrain his desire to rip the other man's shirt off so he could feel all that warm skin directly instead of through a cotton barrier. Strong hands ghosted over Jack's ass, their touch becoming more sure with each pass. All their touches had been gentle so far. It was as if neither of them was quite certain how to deal with a partner so near their own size and strength. Jack thought about the leashed power under his hands and how it would feel to be on the receiving end of it. The resulting aroused groan was answered with a deep chuckle that was felt almost more than heard.

"Oh, god, Jack, I want you."

Jack almost couldn't recognize the deep husky voice whispering in his ear. Stubble scratched his face as soft lips trailed kisses soothingly along behind. A hand squeezed his ass, the other gently gripped his short hair. A fleeting thought that maybe he should let it grow a little faded when he gasped in pleasure as teeth closed on his earlobe. A gentle tug followed by tongue and lips nearly sent him over the edge. "Me, too." Slow was overrated.

They stumbled their way to his bedroom, clumsy less from drink than from their reluctance to stop touching. Once inside, Jack let go long enough to close the door only to find himself wrapped up in strong arms that pulled him back against his lover's solid body. "I want to touch you." Jack nodded. He didn't trust his voice. He wasn't really sure he'd be able to muster the dexterity required to work the buttons. Jack turned in his lover's arms and started to undo his shirt but Daniel's hands stopped him. "Let me. Please." Jack traded taking off his own shirt for running his hands over Daniel's shoulders. Jack figured he got the best end of the deal.

Clever fingers made short work of removing the offending cloth and then they were on him. Touching, caressing, mapping his chest, his back, skimming over his sides and down to his denim covered thighs and ass. Daniel's hands left trails of fire burning in their wake. Jack wanted to burn, wanted to be consumed. He couldn't remember wanting anything as much as he wanted this. Taking the tail of Daniel's t-shirt he started easing it up. Once he got the idea across, Daniel took just enough time from his exploration to jerk the shirt off over his head before his hands started driving Jack out of his mind again. Lips found his again and the gentle touches turned urgent, passionate. Jack backed up, pulling Daniel with him, until he found his bed. Hands on his shoulders urged him to sit then Daniel knelt on the floor between his legs.

"Jack," Daniel ran his hands over Jack's legs, kneading his thighs. "I want," Jack leaned down and captured that incredible mouth in a searing kiss. //He was right. It does shut him up.// Daniel surged up to meet him. Jack scooted back on his bed until he was lying flat with his lover's weight holding him down until they broke their kiss, panting into each other's necks. "I need to," Daniel lifted his head and looked into Jack's eyes. Jack thought he could lose himself in those lust-blackened eyes. "I need to talk to you, to tell you something."

Jack stroked his lover's face, cradling it his hand. Daniel leaned into the caress like a cat. "Tell me, Daniel. You can tell me anything." His comment earned him a dazed smile and another passionate kiss. Maybe shutting him up wasn't the best idea after all.

Daniel pulled back again just as Jack needed to breath. "I need to take care of you," he said in a rush. "To protect you." Jack hadn't expected that. It surprised him, but after a moment, he wasn't sure why it should. Daniel had a deep-seated need to protect anyone he cared about, even when they turned out to be destroyers of worlds. He'd apparently stayed quiet too long. The arousal in Daniel's face started to give way to anxiety. "I // know// you can take care of yourself, it's just," he licked his lips and seemed at a loss as to how to explain.

Jack smiled and his friend's, his lover's face lost the anxious look. "I get it, Daniel." Jack ran a hand into Daniel's hair and pulled him down for a brief kiss.

"I can't lose you!" Daniel settled more heavily on top of Jack, squeezing him tightly with arms and legs as if by holding him down he could keep anything from happening to him. "I //won't// lose you." Jack heard the unsaid 'too' and his heart broke for the pain he heard in his lover's voice, the pain so evident in his expression. Daniel usually kept his pain to himself, but he exposed all the raw agony in his heart with those words. Jack twisted his hips a little and rolled them to their sides, legs intertwined.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm too heavy." Jack shushed him and reassured him with his hands and mouth. Anything to remove the anguish from that beautiful face. He decided he was willing to spend a lifetime doing that if that's what it took.

"I love it, Danny, just needed to change positions for a bit." Jack loved the weight on him, but Daniel was heavy and it was easier to talk this way. "You'll never loose me, not if I have anything to say about it." He stroked the silky hair under his hand. "No one's ever wanted to take care of me, before." Another kiss, more touches, "I think I like it."

"I'll always take care of you, Jack." There was that look again, the one that spoke of discovery, of a puzzle solved. "I love you."

Jack finally understood the power this man had over him. He'd been so right. They were easy together. So very easy. "I love you, too, Danny." He closed the small space between them and kissed him with passion, with hunger, with love. As he lost himself in the sensations he felt his ghosts slinking back into their boxes, the locks snicking shut behind them. As long as he had this, they had no power over him. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Jack felt free.

~*~

CHAPTER 17 Daniel awoke to what he could only think of as a vicious assault. His head felt like a mule had kicked him, that damned banging coming from somewhere added a stuttering jackhammer into the mix and he was holding someone heavy who was drooling on his chest. He opened his eyes but it was dark wherever he was. Without his glasses he couldn't make out many details in the dim light coming in from what he guessed was a window. About the time he was trying to decide if he'd run across another ribbon happy System Lord and was a prisoner somewhere, several things slotted into place in his sleep-dulled brain. The banging was coming from outside and when he listened carefully he also heard the wind howling around the house. That means it must be tree branches hitting the side of the house. His headache had a definite hangover rather than ribbon device cast to it and it was Jack who was sprawled over him. Sprawled and drooling. He blinked at the silver head as other details registered. Details like the fact that they were both naked under the sheet. Another moment of confusion and the night before flooded back pushing his headache to the background.

A huge grin spread across his face. Jack. Jack said he loved him. Daniel thanked whatever god might be listening for scotch and tightened his arms a little around his lover. He didn't think he would have had the courage to seduce Jack without it. He certainly hadn't //planned// on seducing him last night, but when he'd leaned against him that time, something told him he wouldn't be rejected. They hadn't talked much about their previous experiences the night before. His grin widened. They hadn't talked much at all. He stifled the laugh bubbling inside. He didn't want to wake Jack. For this moment, Daniel felt completely happy. Almost giddy. He didn't want to do anything that might risk it, even waking the man responsible. A thread of doubt crept into his mind, but he refused to give credence to it. There would be problems ahead, given Jack's career, but Daniel felt certain they could deal with it. That had been all Jack with him last night. The scotch might have broken down their inhibitions enough to act on their burgeoning feelings, but the emotions, the desires had been real. By the time Jack woke him for a second round they were both sober.

"D'n'y?" Jack shifted against him and rubbed his cheek against Daniel's chest. He thought his heart might burst inside his chest. He felt like a kid again, like it was the first time he'd fallen in love. "Wz'at'nz?" Now Daniel did chuckle. He had no idea what Jack had asked him. In all the years he'd known him, all the years he'd shared tents and cells and space in the infirmary, this was the first time he'd ever known the man to not come immediately awake when there weren't drugs involved.

"Jack! You've been holding out on me!" One eye cracked open and stared at him. The other followed it then with a huge yawn his lover stretched exposing acres of skin just begging to be discovered. //Rediscovered,// he thought to himself. Daniel was certain there couldn't be an inch of Jack he hadn't touched or kissed or licked. He watched his lover waking up and felt his interest wake along with him. "Jack, you've got to teach me whatever language that was." He tried to sound serious, his academic interest peaked // Oh, no lover, what I've got for you isn't academic.// More laughter bubbled up at the thought. "I might need it one of these days and I know you won't want to," before Daniel could finish, hands that had given him unbelievable pleasure a few short hours ago attacked. Soon Daniel was rolling on the bed, laughing and struggling to redirect Jack's weapons of choice. Being ticklish was a pain.

"Laugh at me, rock boy? I'll give you something to laugh about." Daniel lay on his back, with Jack on top of him. The tickling stopped, but he couldn't stop stray bursts of giggles. He usually hated it when he giggled. It was undignified and people had a tendency to look down on men who giggled, but at the moment he couldn't see any reason to stop. Jack smiled down at him before closing the distance between them for a kiss. Unfortunately, Daniel was still feeling silly and giggled into the kiss. Jack rolled his eyes and plopped down next to him, leaning on his elbow with a mock scowl on his face. "Oh, so now I kiss funny?"

"Oh, no, love." Jack looked pleased with the endearment, which just made Daniel's smile grow. "Nothing funny about your kisses." He traced the line of his lover's jaw with his fingers. "I'm just happy."

"Good. You deserve to be happy." Jack lay down on his side and Daniel turned to face him. Daniel draped his arm across Jack's waist, his lover's arm wrapped around his shoulder as they moved toward each other. Daniel had been half-hard, but the tickling had deflated him. Now he was aroused again. He gave an experimental thrust of his hips and found Jack was with the program. Their lovemaking had been simple the night before. Neither seemed to want to try anything elaborate while they learned each other. Jack had jerked him off twice. He'd done Jack once and gone down on him the second time. It hadn't been as easy as he'd remembered. Daniel had done it a few times before, but that had been in college with his one and only boyfriend. They hadn't been together long but it had been enough to let Daniel know he could enjoy being with another man. He'd just never met any other men who attracted him enough to want to date. Eventually he'd chalked it up to a one off and moved on. Until Jack.

"Are you happy, Jack?" Daniel leaned in and kissed him when he smiled. He tightened his arms around his lover and felt strong arms encircling him. Daniel's hand drifted down to Jack's ass. He squeezed and Jack's cock jerked against him. He pulled Jack closer moaning at the thought of what it would be like to be inside him. Jack's moans joined his when their erections touched. Daniel latched onto Jack's mouth and kissed him deeply, his tongue fucked his lover's mouth as they ground their hips a little clumsily against each other. Daniel wasn't concerned with the lack of finesse. Jack's moans and clutching hands told him his lover didn't seem to mind, either. His need escalated and Daniel rolled them so he was on top of Jack. He looked down at the flushed face of his lover. //His// lover. // His// Jack.

Daniel had always felt protective of his lovers, but only with Shar'e had he ever before felt this overwhelming need to possess, to //own//. He closed his eyes at the thought of his beautiful lost Shar'e, then opened them to his beautiful Jack. He'd never thought he'd love again after she died, but he couldn't deny what he felt for this man. Daniel wanted to show him. He tried an experimental thrust into Jack's belly and was rewarded by a pleasured groan and hands on his hips urging him on. Another thrust and another, sweat slicked their bodies and aided his motion. Daniel tried to find the right angle and pressure to maintain contact with Jack's cock but it wasn't easy. He was beginning to get a little frustrated. Good sex was good sex, but he had to admit that sex with a woman was easier. He started to shift so he could support himself on just his knees and one hand when Jack reached between them and grasped their cocks, holding them loosely together. Daniel closed his eyes and gasped in pleasure at the sensation and redoubled his efforts. Both of them were leaking and Jack took advantage of what was available and slicked them both down. Finally finding a rhythm in the hot slick tunnel of Jack's hand Daniel opened his eyes and looked down into his lover's face. All thoughts of former loves fled and it was just the two of them. Jack lay red faced with his mouth open, his hips rising to meet Daniel, panting and gasping in pleasure. His lover's face betrayed his impending climax and that tipped Daniel over the edge. They came almost together, their cries mingling as they both soaked Jack's stomach and chest. Daniel dropped to his elbows, smearing the mess between their bodies and latched onto Jack's mouth with a passionate, breathless kiss. Shuddering as he thrust through the last waves of his orgasm.

"God, I love you, Danny." Daniel smiled and dropped a kiss on the tip of Jack's nose. He started to move off of Jack but arms held him in place. "Stay?"

"I'm too heavy, love." Jack shook his head.

"No, you're fine. I like it." Daniel settled a little more, letting his legs stretch out feeling Jack's legs on either side. He stayed propped on his elbows, though, not wanting to put his full weight on the other man.

"How's this?" He knew he outweighed Jack these days and much as he loved the position, he didn't want to impede his breathing. This was enough.

"I won't break, Danny." The slight chide in his voice was softened by his hands gently stroking Daniel's back.

"I know, I just," Daniel found it hard to shrug in his position, but he managed something close to it. In the fading glow of his arousal, he felt a little embarrassed by his possessiveness. He wasn't sure how to say it. Wasn't sure if he //should// say anything about it. At least not yet. In some ways it scared him more than any System Lord.

"It feels," Jack looked almost as embarrassed as Daniel felt, "safe. //You// make me feel safe." Daniel gazed into Jack's eyes, knowing he probably had a dopey grin on his face. Only one other person had ever said that to him. He'd failed her. He didn't want to fail Jack.

"I'm glad." He kissed him softly. "I want to keep you safe. I wish we could stay like this forever."

"Get no complaints from me." Jack did have a dopey grin on his face. Daniel didn't want to move at all, but he knew he couldn't stay.

"I can't Jack." Jack's dopey post-coital grin faded, replaced with a worried expression. "I'm losing the feeling in my hands." They erupted into laughter and Jack helped him move onto the bed then started to massage the muscles in his shoulders and arms.

"Better?" He moaned in response to the question. Jack was good at this. Daniel foresaw many hours of just letting Jack massage him.

"Have I told you this morning that I love you?" Daniel shifted to his back and ran the fingers of one hand over Jack's face. When he reached his lips, the other man kissed them, then nipped at them playfully before grabbing them and holding their hands against his sticky chest.

"No, as a matter of fact, and I was beginning to wonder if you only wanted my body." Jack's tone told Daniel he was joking, but there was a note of insecurity in his voice.

"Not saying that's not a //huge// incentive, but yes, I love you, Jack O'Neill with two ells and don't you ever forget it." Daniel tugged his lover down for another kiss and wondered how he'd ever get through another day, another hour, without this. When they broke, the playfulness was gone from Jack's face. He looked serious.

"We need to talk, Danny." Daniel's stomach clinched with fear.

"We can't do this." Daniel barely recognized his own voice. He knew Jack was going to say it was too risky, they'd get caught.

"What?" Jack jerked back and sat up. Daniel knew immediately that he'd screwed up. "What the fuck are you saying?" Jack escaped the bed and started digging through the clothes they'd taken off the night before.

"Jack!" Daniel looked at his lover in shock. He'd never seen him this angry when there hadn't been an alien involved.

"You got what you wanted and that's it? You're done? You don't want this?" Jack found his pants and started to put them on. Daniel followed him off the bed and lunged for him, catching him by the wrist.

"No! I mean yes! I'm sorry, I thought," Daniel was starting to panic. The best thing that had happened to him in almost a decade was about to walk away and it was his fault.

"So, which is it, yes or no?" Jack was still angry, but he hadn't left yet. Just stood there with his pants hanging from his hands. Daniel griped his arm like it was a lifeline. In all the ways that counted, it was.

"Yes!" Before Jack could come to the wrong conclusion about which question he was answering, Daniel continued, "I // want //this! I want //us//!" He paused trying to gauge his lover's response to his words. "I can't remember wanting anything as much as I want us." Jack was still angry, but he seemed to be cooling down. "I'm sorry, sorry. I'm just afraid. I love you and need you so badly, I can't believe you'd want me, too." Jack relaxed more and dropped his pants shaking Daniel's hand off of his arm. Daniel nodded to the bed and they sat leaning back against the headboard, but still not touching. "I thought," Daniel couldn't look at him anymore. He felt foolish. "I thought you'd decided it was too risky. That we'd get caught. I thought," Daniel fell silent and looked down over his crossed arms to study the tops of his raised knees. His eyes filled and he knew his voice would break if he said another word.

"You thought I was going to call it off." His calloused fingers touching Daniel's chin followed Jack's soft voice. Jack tilted his head so Daniel could see his lover's face. Jack's eyes were none too dry as he leaned toward Daniel and kissed first one eye and then the other. Resting his forehead on Daniel's he sighed. "Oh, Danny, we //will// have to be careful, but I'll retire before I give you up." Daniel had no resistance to that and a few tears finally escaped. Strong arms pulled him to his lover's body. He rested his head on Jack's shoulder and sighed in relief. He was exhausted.

"I love you, Jack." Daniel didn't care if his voice cracked now.

"And I love you. As far as I'm concerned," before he could finish, the phone rang. "Damn!" He turned loose of Daniel and grabbed the phone. Daniel straightened up, closed his eyes and rested his head back against the wall. He berated himself for his foolish insecurities and barely heard Jack's side of the conversation.

"We'll be there within the hour." Daniel looked at him and Jack shook his head. "Yes, sir. Daniel drove me home." It had to be the general. "Thank you, sir." Daniel glanced at the window and saw it was still dark out. They'd gotten to Jack's around mid afternoon, so there was no telling what time it was. He didn't have his glasses on, so he scooted over to the edge of the bed to peer at the clock. Four forty-eight in the morning. Daniel groaned. He knew he hadn't gotten much sleep and now his headache was back with a vengeance. He'd already had run of short nights. He was getting too old for this sort of thing. He needed coffee. Daniel flopped face down on the bed while Jack finished on the phone. Taking a deep breath, he smiled. With the scent of sex and the smell of Jack on the sheets he decided maybe he could do //this// sort of thing for the rest of his life. Jack's hand slapping his ass jolted him out of his pleasant reverie.

"Hey! What was that for!"

"Up and at 'em book boy, we've got to go to work." Daniel followed Jack into his bathroom, still rubbing the stinging spot on his ass. He suspected what was up, but it could be almost anything. Jack didn't sound like it was anything too terrible.

"What's up?" Jack waved Daniel toward the shower as he started preparing to shave. Jack stopped what he was doing, leaned heavily against the sink and just stared down into the running water.

"Doc says he's in labor." Daniel turned away from the shower and went to his lover. He put his arms around him from behind and held him. Daniel pressed a kiss between Jack's shoulder blades and then laid his head down on his shoulder.

"I don't know if I can do this, Daniel." Daniel hugged him tighter and kissed him again.

"You can." Daniel turned him in his arms. "You're the strongest man I know." He kissed him gently on the lips. "And I'll be there. We'll do this together, Jack." His lover put his arms around him and sagged into his embrace. Jack buried his face in Daniel neck. Jack's muffled voice cracked as he spoke.

"You'll stay with me?"

"Always, Jack." Daniel quickly calculated the time. "You know, we'll probably have to go through the mirror." Jack stiffed a little in his arms then pulled away enough to look at him.

"Why?" There was sudden hope in the baffled brown eyes staring at him.

"I suppose we could send //them// through, but I can't see Janet letting a man who's just had surgery out of her infirmary so quickly." Jack still looked confused. "Cascade tremors. They don't have many more hours here before they start."

"Oh. Oh!" He realized then that it was the actual birth that Jack was most freaked about. He'd told Daniel once that holding Charlie in those first moments was the most amazing thing he'd ever experienced. Seeing Jonathan with his newborn daughter would be a nightmare. Then and there Daniel resolved to make certain they weren't in the SGC when she was born.

"You okay?" Daniel wished he could just drag Jack back to bed and hold him until this was all over.

"Not really, but I'll make it." Jack kissed him and gave him a lopsided smile before nodding to the shower and turning back to the sink. "We've got to hurry if we're going to get there before the shift change. I //hate// getting stuck in the traffic jam at security." Daniel smiled and ducked into the shower. Jack would get through this and Daniel would be there to make sure.

They managed to beat the shift change even after hitting a drive-through for coffee and something that purported to be breakfast. Daniel spent the entire journey through the mountain wishing for just one more cup, or another kiss, either would do but both would have to wait. They arrived at the general's office as he was hanging up the phone. He waved them in. "Have a seat, gentlemen."

"How's Jonathan, sir?" The sooner they got this part over with the sooner he could get to his lab, or Sam's lab. She usually had a pot going. Or even the commissary. Or maybe he could drag Jack into a storeroom. He didn't really want to fall asleep in the corridor.

"Doctor Frasier seems to think things are going well, but his doctor is concerned. Doctor Frasier thinks that may be because he's not in his own clinic."

"And our other guest?" Daniel wasn't sure if anyone else could see the tension in his lover, but he could. Jack's façade was good, but Daniel knew better. He looked up when the general chuckled.

"After Doctor Frasier threatened to sedate him, he apparently calmed right down and got out of their way." Daniel ducked his head and shifted in his seat. There was no reason for him to be embarrassed by his counterpart's behavior, but he couldn't help it. Daniel already wanted to hover over Jack when he was in the infirmary. He didn't think he'd be able to resist now. He darted a quick glance at Jack who was looking out into the briefing room. "Gentlemen, Doctor Frasier has another concern." Now Jack looked at the General and Daniel pulled his attention away from his lover.

"Cascade tremors." Jack's voice was under control. Daniel had seen him battening down his emotions throughout their drive in. The general nodded.

"Exactly, Colonel. Both doctors are certain that neither one of you are in any danger of contracting Nirrti's virus, but I'd like to wait until after the baby has been tested." General Hammond leaned back in his chair and looked from Jack to Daniel and back again. "I won't order either one of you to do this."

"We'd be happy to go for a visit, General. Delighted, even." Daniel was surprised that Jack had been the one to volunteer, but he wasn't sure why. They'd gone over this. It was the best solution. //I wanted to do it for him.// Daniel gave himself a mental kick. His protectiveness was already affecting him. He'd have to get a grip and fast. Jack might enjoy it, even want it in the bedroom, but in the SGC, //Jack// was in charge. This was going to be harder than Daniel figured.

"I thought that would be your decision. Major Carter will be here in a moment for the briefing." The general made eye contact with Daniel and smiled. "Doctor Jackson, why don't you see about getting yourself some coffee, son. You look like you could use it."

"Thank you, General. I could use it."

"Maybe we should ask doc if she'd set you up with a drip." The general chuckled as they rose and headed for the briefing room. Jack and Daniel proceeded on and Daniel bit back the wholly inappropriate comment that came to mind, //I thought I did hook up with a drip//. He shot Jack a cool glance and the message appeared to have been received because Jack headed straight to the coffee pot and poured two cups. He handed one to Daniel and winked, then headed over to his usual chair. The General was still outside the room speaking with one of the techs from the control room.

"Good morning, Carter!" Sam walked into the briefing room looking almost as tired as Daniel felt. Her BDUs were rumpled as if she'd slept in them. "Hey, Sam." She greeted them both and made a beeline to the coffee pot herself.

"Carter, you didn't go home last night, did you?" Jack was in full Colonel Nag mode. "You've got to get yourself a life. Oh, wait, you //did// get yourself a life. You should try actually //living// it from time to time."

"Yes, sir." She sat in her customary chair and raised an eyebrow at Daniel. Fluent in Sam-speak, he just rolled his eyes and shook his head. Jack had spent years trying to get them both to give up the nights they spent in their respective labs. It rarely worked. Because Jack's time on base was spent marking time between missions he really couldn't understand that they both were doing jobs they loved. Daniel couldn't imagine giving up gate travel to spend all his time in his lab, but he loved the time he did spend working on translations and artifacts. It was fun. Sam felt the same about her reactors and, well, whatever it was she did. Most of the time, Daniel really didn't want to know. He slept better that way. He was about to comment about what astrophysicists did in the privacy of their own labs when the general joined them.

"Okay, people, let's get started."

"General, where's Teal'c?" Daniel looked out into the corridor, but didn't see their fourth teammate.

"Teal'c has gone off-world with SG3, Doctor. Captain Gruber had a family emergency and Teal'c volunteered to fill in."

"Going stir crazy, was he, sir?" Jack seemed a little put out to have been kept out of the loop. The general wisely stepped in to stop the expected tirade before it could get off the ground.

"Yes, Colonel. Consider this your official notice. Teal'c isn't needed for the current situation and he felt he could be of more use off world at the moment since you and Doctor Jackson are engaged in the present situation on base." Daniel couldn't help it. He was taking a drink from his cup when the general said "engaged". He choked and spit coffee onto the table in front of him. He coughed for a moment and waved Jack off when he started to slap him on the back.

"Sorry, sir, I, um, just swallowed wrong." He knew he was blushing and just hoped everyone would chalk it up to his coughing fit. Jack, of course, seemed to be preening. Daniel //accidentally// bumped Jack's head with his arm as he got up to get a towel to clean up his mess.

He half listened to Sam as she went over the current theories that dealt with the tremors. Went over them in way too much detail as far as Daniel was concerned. He was used to tuning out the stuff that didn't impact on his work or on their likelihood of returning from a mission with the same number of teammates they left with. They needed to tell her, he realized. They needed to tell Teal'c, too. Suddenly things seemed so much more complicated than they had in bed with Jack this morning. No matter how well they'd be able to hide their relationship from the rest of the world, Daniel didn't think they had a hope in hell of hiding it from their teammates. He had no idea how they'd react. He glanced at Sam who was still lecturing and really hoped she was as in love with Pete as she seemed. He knew she'd had a //thing// for Jack at one time. //Jack's mine.// Daniel swallowed hard. He had to get control of his, he was honest with himself, his jealousy quickly. Jack had told him about the kiss during the time loops and how that had pretty much ended any interest he'd had in her. Not that he still didn't care for her, but it just hadn't done anything for him.

"Doctor Jackson? Your thoughts?" The general was looking at him. For a brief moment Daniel was eleven years old again and his foster mother wanted an answer to her question. She would go on for ten or fifteen minutes and if he didn't listen carefully he'd miss the poorly phrased question buried in the verbal effluvia she always spoke in. It had been like finding a needle in a haystack. She'd been nice enough, but he really hadn't regretted moving on to the Amberson's when the time came. He sifted through the words he'd been hearing to find what he needed. He certainly had no intention of sharing his recent thoughts with anyone.

"Oh, right. Yes, Ian and Jose along with, um," Daniel searched his memory for the name, "Beecham. He's a servant," Daniel explained, "no, more of a family retainer of some kind. I feel confident they'll likely welcome us once we explain the situation."

"Let's just hope they don't use a shotgun again." Jack still hadn't chewed him out for that. Daniel hoped he'd do it in private. He had some wonderful ideas of how to distract him now. Kissing him senseless probably wouldn't be a good idea in the corridor. Daniel felt himself respond to the thought. No, no, not a good idea at all.

"Jack. Don't start. They were frightened and worried because Daniel was sick. They'll be fine." He turned back to the general. "We should be able to hide out in Daniel's and Jonathan's suite with no problem. We can't afford to be seen by the rest of the household since we don't look //exactly// like them. Us. The other us." Daniel had a thought. "General, it might be a good idea if Daniel were there when we go through. If they see that he's up and around and not under any duress it might make things easier." General Hammond nodded.

"If the doctors allow him out of the infirmary, I have no objections." He looked at each of them in turn. "Colonel, Doctor, you have a go when and //if// Doctor Frasier gives the all clear. Good luck, gentlemen."

~*~

CHAPTER 18

Daniel sat in his wheel chair and watched Jonathan pace the length of their room and back. He was still tired but his mind was clearer than it had been in what seemed like an age. It was a blessing and a curse. He reveled in being able to think clearly, but it was that ability that let him put the pieces together about what they'd done. What they'd all done. The directionless rage that had seemed to always simmer under the surface was gone, but a new rage took its place. //Someone// had done this to them. From the doctors told him, there was no way this could be accidental.

His eyes stung as he thought again about his daughters. He hadn't mentioned his suspicions that the extraneous chemicals Devon found in the bearing men's supplements might have killed Melbourne and Elias before they'd breathed their first breath. He didn't think he ever would. Bearing men suffered enough, if he had anything to say about it, that piece of information would never be made public. At least some aspects of the past few years were mercifully vague. He wasn't ready to feel their loss again. But he remembered how it felt to hold his baby daughters and then to watch them fight to live. Their funerals were all too clear. The only thing that kept him from falling apart completely was the hope that if they were one day blessed with another daughter, //she// would survive. Doctor Frasier had promised to provide them with untainted supplements and he would give her his entire fortune and anything else he could beg, borrow or steal if she asked. He would not loose another child to the monster who'd done this to them.

"Jonathan, please sit down. Just watching you is wearing me out." Daniel rolled his chair to the table that sat in the corner of their concrete room and picked at the remains of his last meal. Jonathan's sat almost untouched. Amid the two hospital beds and all the various pieces of medical equipment, someone had moved a table, chairs and a sofa in with them. He's wondered a little at the collection of equipment on a counter along the wall, but hadn't wanted to ask about it. He'd hated the wheel chair on sight, but after exhausting himself after a few steps, he grudgingly agreed that he wasn't ready to be fully mobile yet. Devon really wanted him in bed, but he couldn't just lie there twenty-four hours a day. Besides, getting in and out of it was exhausting. It was too high and took too much of his pitiful store of energy.

It was very late, or maybe very early, but as tired as he was, he wasn't sleepy any more. Not very sleepy anyway. He really wanted to go home, but Devon had talked him into staying a while longer. They still had quite a few hours before the negative effects of being in another universe with their counterparts became apparent. Daniel didn't like to think of what a cascade tremor might do to Jonathan and the baby. The description alone sounded horrible. These people had experience with this sort of thing and Doctor Frasier assured him they'd be sent home before their deadline.

"I'm sorry, love. I'm just," Jonathan's hands rubbed Daniel's shoulders, "restless, I guess. I can't really settle." Daniel turned his head and rested his cheek against Jonathan's belly. He smiled when he felt their child move inside his husband. Jonathan's restlessness triggered something, but it was part of the general vagueness in his memory and he couldn't be sure what it meant, if anything. Perhaps it would come back to him eventually. Doctor Frasier thought he might eventually remember almost everything.

"Maybe you should eat something. Devon told me you haven't been eating much." Another twinge of memory. Restless. Not eating. He'd been through this before with Jonathan, he just couldn't remember //when//. It was right there, but he couldn't quite break through the fog surrounding it.

"Not hungry, Daniel." Jonathan came around and sat gingerly in the chair next to him. Daniel missed his warmth at his back. "Daniel? You're thinking. Out with it." Daniel ducked his head, oddly amused at his husband's ability to read him. It was a nice break from the constant frustration he was experiencing as he came down off the drugs.

"Something I can't quite remember. It's nagging at me, but I can't //get// to it." He slammed his hand down on the arm of his chair. "It's something to do with you pacing." Daniel squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his forehead. This was going to drive him insane. Jonathan pacing. Restless. His eyes flew open and he stared at his husband in shock. Not just Jonathan. Jose walking the floor. Ian wandering endlessly through his studio. Daniel grinned as excitement ran through him. Jonathan stared back in confusion. "Love, are you in labor?" His husband's mouth closed, then opened again, then closed. His expression changed and Daniel's grin grew. He'd seen this same expression on all three of his husbands' faces when they were, as he thought of it, communing with their babies.

"Damn." Jonathan finally found his voice. "I am." Labor for a bearing man wasn't like it was for a woman. Not that Daniel had any experience with pregnant women, but he'd heard the tales endlessly in the past few years. //Of all things to remember. I can't remember my wedding to Ian, but I remember the symptoms of labor in women.// For men, the symptoms were much more subtle. There wasn't any assistance from their bodies to expel the child when it was time, which is why every pregnant man had a birthing kit in his home and why his doctor often showed up at his doorstep every day during the last weeks. Many were hospitalized during the last month of their first pregnancies since they couldn't always tell when it was time. Some seemed to never be able to figure it out and those either moved to more populated areas or at least checked into birthing centers for their last month or so. Now that Daniel had broken through to that particular memory, other related memories were becoming clear.

Daniel unlocked the wheel on his chair and started for the phone to call one of the nurses. "Jonathan, go lay down. I'll get Devon in here."

"Wait!" Jonathan had already gotten to his bed, but was leaning against it rather than laying in it. "I need to talk to you first." Daniel scowled at him, but turned his chair and rolled to him. His scowl apparently got his point across because Jonathan obediently hoisted himself onto the bed and lay on his side so he could face Daniel. "I'd planned to tell you sometime before," he rubbed his distended belly, "well, before, but then you were sick and Doctor Daniel showed up and," he trailed off, looking embarrassed. Daniel took note of the tension around his eyes and saw that even lying down he was holding himself stiffly. He looked afraid. There was only one thing Daniel could think of that could scare him right now.

"There's something wrong, isn't there." He levered himself out of his chair and took the step that brought him to his husband's side. He took Jonathan's hand and leaned down to kiss him. Not this. Not after everything they'd gone through. They couldn't lose this child. "Tell me, love. Whatever it is, I'll be here for you. I love you so much, Jonny." He had to be strong for Jonathan even though his heart was already breaking.

"No! Oh, god, no, love! The baby's fine." Jonathan smiled and squeezed his hand. "// She's// just fine, Danny." He felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. Forgetting his earlier hope, the memory of fear for his dead daughters nearly overwhelmed him. He clung to his husband and to the edge of the bed. He didn't trust his legs to hold him up. "Daniel," Jonathan's concerned voice cut through Daniel's whirling thoughts. "Please, hon, sit down before you fall down." Jonathan started to get up but Daniel shook his head and stepped backward until his legs hit the wheel chair.

"A girl?" The reality was sinking in. Jonathan's smile was growing again.

"Yes! A girl! And she's going to live, Daniel! We're going to have a daughter! A beautiful little girl! And she's going to //live//!"

"Oh, god, a girl." Daniel was laughing now, heedless of the tears also running down his face. He couldn't help it and didn't want to. It was too incredible. "Jonathan! We're going to have a daughter!" He felt drunk and slightly hysterical, but decided that was okay. In fact, he decided that everything was very okay. "Devon! I need to get Devon!" He turned his chair and was halfway to the door before he realized Jonathan was calling to him. He half turned and saw the other man grinning as he held something up and waggled it at him. Oh. Right. The beds both had call buttons on them. He just grinned at his own behavior and turned back to his husband. Before he got very far, one of the nurses came into the room.

"Good morning, gentlemen. Lord Cascadia, do you need help getting back into bed?" Jonathan had told him that Devon had read everyone the riot act about his title. He'd just rolled his eyes and ignored it when someone slipped and called him "Lord Daniel". It apparently bothered his doctor much more than it bothered him.

"No, I don't need to get back into bed. Jonathan's in labor. He needs Doctor Caruthers." He paused at her moment of confusion. "Our Doctor Caruthers." He didn't think he'd ever get used to that. He watched her approach Jonathan and speak to him but he wasn't paying attention to what she said. "We're having a girl!"

"Congratulations, gentlemen. I'll get the doctors."

The fear was gone. Daniel felt almost giddy. He wanted to shout it from the rooftops. He knew he was grinning like an idiot, but he couldn't help himself. This was the first time, the very first time since Jonathan's first pregnancy that he'd been this excited, this hopeful that everything would be perfect. They'd found the cause of their children's illnesses and they were in a place with more resources than he'd seen since the invasion. If he hadn't known for a fact that he'd fall on his face if he tried it, he'd be dancing through the room instead of sitting in a wheelchair. They were going to have a girl and she was going to live. He wouldn't allow anything less.

"Daniel, take it easy, it's going to be a little while. Don't wear yourself out." Jonathan laughed as he spoke. He looked almost as giddy as Daniel felt. Daniel rolled back to the bed and took Jonathan's hand in his. He kissed his knuckles and squeezed his hand, unwilling to let go for the moment.

"I am awake, right? Tell me I'm awake, Jonathan." His husband laughed again and tugged his hand out of Daniel's grip. Then he reached over and pinched his cheek. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Just making sure you're not dreaming." Daniel playfully swatted his husband's thigh and then sat back, content for the moment to just and bask in their shared happiness. "This is real." Jonathan spoke quietly as if by speaking too loudly it would break the spell. "It's really happening." His tears began to flow though his smile didn't dim. Daniel reached up and gently dried his husband's face with his hand.

"Yes, love, it's really happening. Hey, you get to carry her around now." Jonathan always teased him about wanting Daniel to carry the baby for a while, but he had a feeling Jonathan wasn't going to want to turn her loose for a while. Daniel would get to hold her right after she was born. After that, Jonathan could hold her as much as he wanted. Daniel would just hold them both.

"So, Jonathan, I hear you've made a liar out of me again. You keep doing this and Lord Cascadia will get a new doctor for the district." Devon breezed into the room with Doctor Frasier and a couple of male nurses in his wake.

"Not a chance, Devon. You're stuck with us. Us and our daughter." Daniel spared the doctor and his entourage a single glance and a grin before concentrating on his husband again. He knew what was coming, but there was no way he'd do it.

"Daniel, what are you doing out of bed?"

"How is it I'm "Lord Cascadia" when you're worried about your job and "Daniel" as soon as you want me to do something I have no intention of doing?" He tried to put his professional face on, but knew his excited expectant father face was spoiling the effect. It didn't matter, nothing would get him into bed. Nothing would budge him from Jonathan's side.

"Because sometimes you're the earl and sometimes you're my patient and god help me if I ever get the two confused." Devon eased Jonathan onto his back and the nurses started the process of prepping him for surgery. Devon checked Jonathan's pulse and listened to his heart before asking him the usual round of questions. They'd done this enough that it was fairly routine, but even Devon seemed excited by what was to come. In so many ways this was a first for them all. Finally the doctor turned back to Daniel. "You really should lie down for a while." He held his hand up to indicate silence on Daniel's part. Daniel squirmed in his seat and sighed. "It's going to be a little while before anything happens. You know this. I've got to make sure the baby's really ready before delivering her." Now it was Devon who couldn't stop grinning. "Please, Daniel, don't fight me on this. I know you're feeling pretty good right now, but you're still weak from being ill. Jonathan and the baby are going to need you rested."

Daniel's resolve was weakening. He was tired and didn't know how much stamina he had. It galled him to accept that Devon was right, but the thought of getting back into the damnable bed was too much.

"Daniel?" Doctor Frasier had been observing the activity around Jonathan's bed. Daniel had almost forgotten she was there. "I understand that you want to be there for Jonathan during the birth, but it really would be for the best if you could rest some first." All doctors must take a class in guilt before being sent out into the world to devil innocent people. Guilt 101. He glared at both of his personal devils as he tried to work out a way around this.

"Damn it, Daniel, would you go take a nap? Their nagging is starting to drive //me// nuts! They're worse than Ian!" Daniel sagged defeated in his chair. He couldn't fight all three of them. He had trouble refusing Jonathan anything at the best of times. In matters related to childbirth it was nearly impossible. Doctor Frasier, bless her, spoke up in the ensuing silence.

"Why don't you come over and just stretch out on the sofa for a while. I'm sure you'll find it easier to get in and out of the chair from there." It wasn't what he wanted, but it was better than struggling in and out of that bed.

"How did you know?" He spoke quietly as she pushed his chair toward the sofa in the corner.

"I know my Daniels." She chuckled as she parked the chair within easy reach of his new bed. He'd never admit it, but the idea of being able to stretch out and rest was getting more and more appealing. Not that he'd ever admit it out loud. She patted the soft cushion but he shook his head.

"The other end, I want to be able to see." She shook her head and muttered something about an overabundance of stubborn men in her life.

"I'll get you a pillow." She was back before he'd gotten completely settled. Lying down was heaven. He just wished he didn't feel so weak. He should be at Jonathan's side. Daniel submitted to her fussing with his pillow and glared at her when she proceeded to spread a blanket over him.

"I'm not going to sleep, you know." He fought back a yawn.

"Of course not, but you're going to be lying still for a bit and it's cool in here. I don't want you to get chilled." He waved her away with a grunt and she left with a last pat on his blanket-covered leg. He started to relax and watched the activity around Jonathan. His smile returned as he thought of what was about to happen. The yawn caught him by surprise and he snuggled down into his blanket. A little girl. They'd need to talk about names. Maybe Margaret. That had been Jonathan's mother's name. Daniel's face ached from smiling so much. He wondered if she'd be fair like Nicolas or dark-eyed and brown haired like little Patrick. The boys weren't going to know what to do. His grin widened as he imagined explaining girls to his sons. Daniel's eyes grew heavy and his last thoughts before sleep took him were of a little girl with Jonathan's eyes running through his vineyards after her brothers.

"Sir?" Someone was shaking him. "Sir? You need to wake up now." Daniel pried one eye open and squinted in the overly bright light. "Sir, Doctor Caruthers says it's time." Daniel managed to get his other eye open, but was having trouble focusing on the man waking him up. He looked around in confusion as the stranger helped him sit up. Concrete walls. Clarity returned and he looked for Jonathan. He was lying flat on an operating table, looking at Daniel. Knees bent, the surgical drape was already arranged over him.

"Help me up." The man Daniel now remembered was one of the nurses assisting Devon took his arm and helped him to his feet. His nap hadn't helped much. In fact he felt more tired than when he laid down. He cursed all doctors everywhere as he settled gratefully into the waiting wheelchair. "How long did I sleep?"

"A couple of hours, sir." The nurse pushed him to his waiting husband, helped Daniel onto the high stool sitting near Jonathan's head and returned to whatever he'd been doing before.

"Hey." Daniel leaned over so he could run his hand through his husband's hair. Jonathan's eyes were glazed letting him know that he'd already been lightly sedated. Daniel felt guilty for not being there when they'd medicated him.

"Hey, yourself." Jonathan ran a dry tongue over his lips. Daniel located the expected cup of ice chips and fed his husband some. "Thanks. Glad you could join me." He grinned drunkenly at Daniel. "You were almost out on your feet. Or would that be out on your seat?" He giggled at his comment and Daniel grinned at him. He got so silly under the influence of the sedation. "Has it started yet?" Daniel heard Devon talking with the nurses, but they kept their voices low. His job was to distract Jonathan.

"You tell me, love." Daniel held his hand and stroked his face and hair. Jonathan liked the contact. Jose would accept having his hand held, but was much more stoic during birth. Daniel suspected it was more about his upbringing than what he really wanted. Maybe one day he'd be able to accept more. Ian, on the other hand, almost always went right to sleep.

Jonathan was quiet for a moment as he concentrated on his body. "Yeah, I think so. There's something happening." He smiled his loopy smile. "Won't be much longer, I think." Daniel couldn't resist that smile so he leaned in and kissed his husband.

"I love you, Jonathan." He ran his lips over Jonathan's cheek. "I'm so proud of you. You give us such beautiful babies." He went on stroking his love and telling him how much he loved him and what a wonderful Papa he was. The words were less important than the contact. At times like this, he felt so sorry for the thousands of generations of women who'd gone through such agony to bring their children into the world. Jonathan would be in pain afterwards while the incision healed, but he'd have his daughter to ease it. This time he'd have her in his arms to make the pain more bearable. Maybe that's how women had gotten through the hours of agony. They knew their children would be worth it.

A sudden flurry of activity at the other end of the table drew his attention. Jonathan's hand tightened on his and he looked back into his husband's eyes. Daniel rested his free hand on Jonathan's chest and tried to remain calm. Time seemed to crawl as they waited for the cry that would tell them their daughter was alive and strong and wanting her fathers. An eternity later they heard it. Daniel thought that indignant squall was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard.

"I want to hold her! Daniel, please, bring her to me." Jonathan was almost frantic. Daniel knew if Jonathan wasn't numb from the waist down he would have been off the table and grabbing his crying baby away from the doctor.

"Shh, love, give Devon a moment to check her out. He'll bring her to us in a moment." He willed himself to stay with Jonathan when all //he// wanted to do was rush over and calm his crying child. With every birth his respect for all bearing men rose. For the millionth time Daniel was glad he wasn't the one giving birth. He would have been a wreck.

Finally, Devon emerged from behind the drape, a tiny bundle in his hands. "Jonathan, Daniel, there's someone here who'd like to meet you." He handed the tiny person to Daniel. He held her for just a moment, memorizing every feature of her face, loosening the cloth she was wrapped in so he could see all of her. Daniel always forgot how small a newborn was. He turned to Jonathan and held her up so his husband could see their daughter.

"Thank you, love. She's beautiful." Daniel wasn't sure his husband heard him. Jonathan stared at their daughter in wonder before finally lifting his hands to take her. Daniel helped him settle her on his chest and then helped Jonathan ease up a little bit to see her better. Jonathan supported her with one arm and they both touched her and murmured to each other and to her trying to soothe away her infant rage at the bright cold world she'd been thrust into.

"Jonathan, you and I have some unfinished business." Daniel nodded to Devon. Jonathan was still too wrapped up in their daughter to notice.

"You need to lie down again, love. Devon needs to take care of you." Daniel guided one of Jonathan's hands to hold the baby and he gently eased him back down on the table. "May I take her for a bit while you finish up?" Jonathan dragged his attention away from the child.

"What? Oh. Right." He stroked his infant daughter once more then covered her up again with the cloth. Daniel took that as his signal to take her so he finished wrapping her up and settled her in his arms. He wanted to rock her, but was suddenly reminded of his precarious position on the stool. The same nurse who'd helped him onto it was at his elbow.

"Sir, why don't we get you in your chair. You'll be more comfortable." Daniel nodded and carefully got one foot on the floor and then the other. Before he knew it, he was sitting securely in the wheelchair. He started to rock and she began to calm, though she still gave the occasional hiccupping cry. He looked into his husband's happy face. Jonathan smiled at him while wiping tears from his face with a shaking hand. The nurse returned carrying a bottle and a bright pink and white crocheted baby blanket. "If you'll allow me, sir, I'll take her and finish cleaning her up then maybe you'd like to see if she's interested in having something to eat." Daniel nodded. Then froze at the sight of the bottle. "It's okay, sir, it's just formula from the PX on base." He hugged his daughter in relief. The pain and guilt were still there, but holding her helped. She was still a mess, but he hated to turn her loose. The nurse, Daniel finally squinted at his nametag, Antonelli laid the items in Daniel's lap and then gently took the baby from him. His daughter fussed at the man who smiled at them both. "She certainly is an opinionated little lady, sir." He took her away to the other side of where Jonathan lay.

"Just like her dad." Not even Jonathan's sleepy teasing could ruin this for Daniel. He'd be proud if she grew up to be like him. He'd be prouder if she grew up to be like her Papa. Daniel fingered the blanket in his lap. It was soft and looked homemade.

"Who made this?" Jonathan was already sleeping, thanks to the increased sedation necessary for the post-partum repairs. Devon and both nurses were apparently concentrating on their tasks.

"My daughter made it." Daniel looked up to the observation area for the first time since he woke up and was surprised to see Doctor Frasier behind the glass. "I couldn't tell her who she was making it for, just that we had some visitors who were expecting a little girl. I thought you might appreciate something softer than military issue."

"Please extend our thanks to her. It's lovely. It was very kind of her to go to the effort, especially for people she doesn't know." He had to wonder if his own world would be this accommodating of strangers. But then they had good reason to fear. His daughter's continued fussing at the nurse seemed to underline the point.

"She's a good girl. When she does find out about you, though, her Uncle Jack and Uncle Daniel will never hear the end of it." She smiled.

"When? I thought the SGC was secret?" Now he was confused.

"Ah, yes, it is. SG-1 found her on another planet. Cassie was the only survivor of an attack. They brought her home and I adopted her." Daniel blinked. This woman, which was still strange enough to him, spoke so calmly about adopting a child born on another planet. "She has certain health issues that require her to come here for any medical treatment, so she hears things from time to time." Poor child. To have survived the death of her world. For the first time, Daniel realized things could have gone so much worse for them.

"I hope she's not seriously ill, Doctor Frasier." Now he was going to worry about a child he'd never met.

"Oh, no, nothing like that. Just some anomalies that can't be easily explained away." He got the feeling there was more to it than that, but didn't press her. It wasn't any of his business. There were plenty of things he'd just as soon not discuss.

"I'll be sure to tell our daughter about Cassie when," he swallowed hard, "when she's older."

"I think she'll be tickled to know that you're going to tell your daughter about her." A sharp cry from their baby brought his head around to see what was going on. Unfortunately, the nurse was blocked by Devon and the drape still covering Jonathan's lower body. He dragged his attention back to the woman in the booth.

"You and your people seem to make a habit of rescuing people."

"It's one of the best things about what we do." The pride in her voice was unmistakable. Daniel was beginning to understand why his counterpart was here.

"You're very good at it." His comment seemed to embarrass her a little. He couldn't help but smile. He didn't seem to be able to do anything else. "You've certainly saved us and I don't think there's anyway I can possibly express what you've done for us." Antonelli returned carrying a much cleaner, if angrier baby. Daniel spread the blanket on his lap before he took her. He expertly wrapped her up and settled her back in his arms. "Because of you, this little one has a chance." He kissed the little head softly. "Every little girl, every child on our world has a chance now." He couldn't think beyond the hope. Deep down he knew they still had to find out who was behind the tainted drugs and, what was even harder to consider, why they were doing it in the first place.

Daniel located the bottle that had slipped down between his thigh and the side of the chair. He offered it to his daughter who seemed insulted until he coaxed a drop out of the nipple and onto her tongue. The next time he offered her the nipple she latched onto it with gusto sucking noisily. Her tiny arms jerked from time to time as if she could pump her dinner in faster that way.

"You're very good at that, Daniel." He grinned.

"Let's just say I've had a great deal of experience getting fussy newborns to eat." He'd done this so many times. Even helped out sometimes when men from the estate or village gave birth. He remembered his mother visiting new mothers when he was a child. The babies had always fascinated him. He still did it. Partly because of his position, but at least partly in her memory. He frowned for a moment then looked up at the observation booth. "Doctor Frasier, I hope you didn't stay away," he nodded toward Jonathan, "because you thought we would object. After everything's that happened, you would have been welcome to assist Devon."

"Thank you, Daniel, but that's not why I'm up here." He didn't know her well enough to understand the expression on her face, but he knew he didn't like it.

"Doctor is there something you're not telling me?" He checked the level of the formula and pulled it away from his daughter who objected immediately. "Such a greedy little thing." He positioned her on his shoulder and gently rubbed her back. "You can have some more in a minute, sweetheart." He returned his attention to Doctor Frasier. Her long silence made him uneasy. "Doctor?"

"Sir," from "Daniel" to "sir". His unease grew. "You must remember that we deal with all sorts of threats to our world." He felt rather than heard his daughter's tiny burp and offered her the bottle again. He bit down on his emotions not wanting the baby to pick them up. They were amazingly perceptive even at less than an hour old.

"Doctor, I know a little something about what can happen to an unprotected planet." She was hiding something and he began to fear that he and Jonathan weren't going to like what she had to say. His mother used to tell him not to go borrowing trouble. She'd had to tell him that quite often.

"Of course." She paused as if choosing her words. "Daniel, one of the results of our experiences is that we've become, well, professional paranoids as Colonel O'Neill likes to call it." He answered her wry grin with one of his own. That sounded a great deal like something Jonathan would say. "Doctor Caruthers and I both feel confident that we've discovered the source of the virus on your world."

"But?" His heart was pounding and the only reason he wasn't shouting was the small child falling asleep in his arms.

"But General Hammond insisted we take precautions with Jonathan's delivery." She raised her hand as a request for silence. "Antonelli is testing her blood right now. I would lay money on her being clear of the virus, but we have to be sure." He busied himself with the bottle and his sleeping daughter. The general was wrong. He wasn't a doctor. He was soldier. What did a soldier know about these things. Both doctors thought she'd be fine. Soldiers only know fighting. Soldiers... protect. Daniel folded the corner of the pretty pink blanket over his daughter's head as she slept. He found himself feeling for her heartbeat and listening for her breath. Daniel nodded.

"You'd bet money, but you can't bet Cassie's life."

She shook her head as she replied. "No, I can't. And the general can't afford to bet the lives of //his// daughter and his granddaughters." The general had granddaughters. How many of the people he'd met here still had mothers and sisters and wives and daughters. No, he wouldn't have done anything less had he been in the general's position.

"I understand, Doctor Frasier. Thank you for being honest with me."

"I would have told you before, but," she raised an accusatory eyebrow at him, "//our// Daniel didn't want to tell you at all. As he put it, if she's clear, it doesn't matter. If she's not," she shrugged.

Daniel scowled. "The longer I'm here, the more I realize that my counterpart and I really are the same man underneath our experiences." He didn't like the idea that he might be capable of some of the violent adventures he'd heard about. He knew the man carried a weapon and his more muscular build hinted at other skills that Daniel shied away from thinking about. He'd always thought himself a pacifist through and through.

"Lord Cascadia, I haven't had any doubts about that for days." She looked away from him and he followed the line of her gaze. Antonelli had left his position and approached the observation window. Daniel lost his scowl when he saw the man's face.

"Report, Antonelli." Daniel kept forgetting that Doctor Frasier was a military doctor. Then she'd bark out an order and sound uncomfortably like his father.

"The blood sample was clear of the virus, Doctor." His smiled widened as he looked over his shoulder to Daniel. "She's perfect, sir. Just perfect."

Daniel studied his sleeping daughter's face. "Yes, yes she is. Absolutely perfect."

~*~

CHAPTER 19

"Jack, you don't have to do this." Daniel's quiet voice anchored him as much as the hand on his shoulder. They'd finished their pre-mission check and gone through all of Daniel's notes from what he'd learned about the other universe. Frasier had offered to bring Lord Daniel to the mirror, but Jack had vetoed that idea. He wasn't sure why. Now they stood outside the isolation room that housed their counterparts and their newborn daughter. "I can go in and get Daniel, there's no reason for you to go." Jack looked at his lover. He wished he could have more than the friendly touches they were allowed in public, but that was the price of living in the world they had. Daniel was trying to protect him again. Jack found himself both slightly amused and incredibly grateful. He'd once heard that SG-3 called Daniel the Geek King of the Mountain. Jack would have been pissed except it was right after SG-1 had gone in and pulled them out of a precarious situation where Daniel had managed to not only negotiate their release from a bunch of touchy natives but also opened up the possibility of a sweet naquadah deal. As it was, the nickname was given as a sign of respect. Took Daniel a while to work out just how being called a geek was a sign of respect, but he got there eventually. At least as long as he remembered the source. Some geek.

Jack got his pass card out of his pocket. The trepidation he'd felt since the moment Jonathan walked into the briefing room was mostly gone. He knew now that he wouldn't have to deal with the inevitable fallout alone. He wondered again if he could have made a go of it with Sara if he'd been more open to her after Charlie died. He fingered the card in his hand. He wasn't the same man today that he'd been then. So much had changed. He'd changed and for the better, he thought. He also realized beyond the shadow of a doubt that the man standing with him was the primary agent of that change. All these years Jack had always seen himself as taking care of Daniel. He finally understood that it had always been a two way street. "You coming?" The hand on his should squeezed once and then turned him loose.

"Right behind you." Jack caught the nod out of the corner of his eye. He swiped his card and went in, Daniel watching his six, as always.

The lights were low. As he stood in the doorway letting his eyes adjust he took in the layout of the room. Two hospital beds lay close together, both with the heads raised about halfway. A table, chairs and sofa sat in one corner adding an uncharacteristic air of domesticity to the otherwise sterile room. The pile of blankets implied that someone had been sleeping on it at some point. He wondered how the doc had felt about having the extraneous furniture in there when the isolation room turned into an impromptu operating room. Daniel stepped around him and quietly approached the beds. Jack followed.

Both men were sleeping. Lord Daniel lay on his side as close to the edge of his own bed as he could get without falling off. Even sound asleep he still looked like death warmed over. One arm bridged the narrow gap between the beds and his hand lay partially on Jonathan's arm and partially on the tiny infant wrapped in the brightest pink blanket he'd ever seen. Jonathan lay on his back, with the infant tucked into the bend of his elbow. Now that Jack's eyes had adapted to the dim light, the pink blanket stood out strongly against the overall drabness of the room. A blue blanket wouldn't have stood out that brightly against the men's blue scrubs. Daniel had told him he could do this and damned if the man wasn't right again.

Jack's father had once told him that the worst response to fear was not facing it. Once faced, the fear became something manageable. Something a person could //do// something about. He'd taken that advice with him on every mission. He'd relied on it through every torture. It had served him well, but he'd never applied it to his worst fears. Jack had never before fully identified his reluctance to be around Jonathan as fear. He // knew// he feared it opening up old wounds and freeing his ghosts. He feared //that//, but he felt that wasn't at the heart of it. That it was nothing more than collateral damage. It came to him while he looked down at the infant wrapped protectively in his alternate's arm. The moment of clarity was like a punch in the gut. For that brief moment, fear and guilt melted away and Jack felt light headed, almost drunk from release and revelation. The moment passed and he slammed back into himself. He tried to recapture the fleeting understanding, but it was gone like a spring breeze leaving one clear thought in its wake.

"It wasn't their fault." Even thought they'd need to wake Lord Daniel in a few minutes, Jack found himself whispering.

"No. It wasn't." He looked at his lover, not expecting to see blue eyes staring back at him out of a serious face. "I'm glad you can see that."

"Don't, Daniel. Don't go there." Jack's heart was pounding in his chest and he felt sweat forming despite the coolness of the room. Whatever it was, whatever he was afraid of was too big and Jack feared it would break him completely.

"No, you're right. This isn't the time." Jack nodded. Daniel wasn't backing down. // Danny never backs down.// He was proud of that, though he knew Daniel had likely been like that in the womb. He'd been on the receiving end of his friend's tenacity more often than not. It had made their friendship interesting, even difficult at times, but he'd always known it was worth the effort. As a result, Jack knew the discussion was merely tabled for now. If he had his way, it would stay tabled, but he doubted it was over yet. Daniel wanted to protect him, but he couldn't protect Jack from his own actions. It //wasn't// the same. Charlie's death was //his// fault and no amount of talking could change that. It was Jack's burden to bear. Jack knew his being able to stand relatively calmly in this room was solely due to the man standing with him. He might not be able to share all his burdens with him, but Daniel had certainly taken most of the weight of this one from him. It would be up to Jack to make sure his lover knew it and knew it was the best they could hope for.

"May I help you gentlemen?" They both turned to see Caruthers struggling out of the blankets on the sofa. The man had been completely hidden from sight. //So that's who's been sleeping there.// Daniel stepped away from the new parents and Jack followed.

"Jack, our Devon and I are going through to your reality." The doctor stopped fighting the blanket and just sat up on the sofa. He rubbed his face with both hands and then looked at them. Daniel perched on the arm of the sofa while Jack shoved his hands in his pockets. He glanced back over his shoulder to see if they'd awoken the sleeping men. Seeing no movement, he turned back. "We thought it might be a good idea for your Daniel to come to the mirror so Ian and Jose could see he was all right."

"No, he needs sleep. I won't have him disturbed unless it's absolutely necessary." Daniel glanced at Jack who shrugged. He didn't like the idea of dragging a guy from an infirmary bed for no reason. Frasier had said she didn't think a quick trip in a wheel chair would be a problem, but she had been adamant about him not being allowed through the mirror yet. Still, Jack liked the idea of being on the wrong end of a shotgun even less.

"So, Doc, how about //you// come with us. You can come through, explain everything and be back before they," Jack nodded toward Lord Daniel and Jonathan, "know you're gone." Caruthers leaned back on the sofa and looked behind Daniel to his patients. He looked back at Jack and then at Daniel, scratched his unshaven chin and seemed to come to a decision he wasn't particularly satisfied with.

"I have a better idea. Why don't I just go with you and leave your Devon here?"

"You want," Daniel looked as startled as Jack felt. "You want to come //with// us?"

"Is there some reason why I shouldn't?" Caruthers sounded suspicious. Daniel was quick to try and reassure him.

"Oh, no. No reason, I just," Daniel waved back at the two beds, "We figured you'd want to be here, that's all."

"Look, I won't deny that I'd rather stay with them. They're not just my patients, they're my friends, but I'm the only doctor in the district." He looked at them both and shook his head smiling a little. "It's still odd talking like this to the two of you." His smile faded. "Lord Cascadia's health is my responsibility and much as I hate to admit it, he's better off here for the time being. But I have other patients to tend to." He untangled the blanket from around his legs and stood up. "I'm convinced that your Doctor Frasier can deal with anything Jonathan will need from here on out and if she can't," he shrugged, "I'm as close as I'd be if he were at home."

"We'll have to clear it with the general." Jack held up his hand when Caruthers seemed about to protest. "I don't think he'll have a problem with it, but he's the man." The doctor relaxed and turned around to shift the blanket he'd been using so it wasn't dragging on the floor. Jack heard him muttering something, but couldn't make it out.

"Would you like us to send in Doctor Frasier? We should probably be going, um, through soon." Daniel stood as he spoke as if ready to bolt from the room.

"Oh, would you? Thanks. Yes, I'd like to go over Jonathan's care once more." He looked a little embarrassed. "I don't think she really needs me to, but," he just shrugged again.

"But you need to do it." Jack turned to Daniel. "Why don't you go get the doc and let // our// Caruthers know he's off the hook. I'm sure SG7 will be glad to know they get to keep him." Jack started sidling toward the door. "I'll just go talk to the general. We can meet up in the locker room in a few."

"Thank you, again. For everything." Caruthers was looking toward the sleeping men. Jack knew exactly what they were being thanked for.

"It was our pleasure, Devon." Daniel came close enough to whisper, "You okay, Jack?"

"Yeah." Jack led him into the corridor and stopped, looking back at the closed isolation room door, thinking. "Yeah, I am." A quick glance up and down the corridor proved that they were alone for the moment. "More okay than I've been in a long time." His lover smiled at him and made an abortive move toward him. Daniel blushed and looked down at his feet.

"Gotta watch that, I guess." He looked back up at Jack, gazing at him over his glasses. Jack sighed. They would have to watch it. He wished Daniel could have done what he'd started. Jack thought he could stand a hug and maybe a kiss or three.

"Yeah." He offered up a smile of his own. "At least on base." That earned him another small smile and a pair of raised eyebrows.

"I don't know what you mean, Colonel." Jack's smile morphed into a full-fledged grin as he started walking backward toward the elevator.

"Then I guess we'll have to discuss it later, Doctor Jackson. I know how tough it is for you civilians to //grasp// the military mind." Jack knew exactly what he wanted Daniel to grasp later and it didn't have anything to do with his mind. Unless blowing it counted. His mind, blowing his mind. He turned his back on the still grinning Daniel and wondered just how he was supposed to talk to the general while thinking of Daniel blowing things.

Talking to the general had started out easier than he'd expected. General Hammond seemed relieved to be able to put SG7 back into rotation. Jack thought he was more relieved at getting rid of at least one of their guests. As he started to leave to gear up, the general stopped him.

"Take a seat for minute, Jack." The last time the general had called him Jack he was sending him down to talk to Jonathan for the first time. Jack sat down and tried his best to look relaxed.

He was feeling better about things in general, mostly due to the unexpected, but not at all unwelcome change in his and Daniel's relationship. Even so, he still felt on edge from time to time for seemingly no reason. Jack suspected he'd adjust and once the men and their daughter returned home for good, things would get back to normal. The new normal. He really liked the new normal, even though it was going to be tough. He hadn't mentioned this to Daniel yet, but they'd probably need to tell Carter and Teal'c about them. He felt sure Teal'c would guess, that man missed //nothing//. Carter could be... interesting. He had no idea how she'd handle it. He'd toyed with the idea of not saying anything to her, but she was his second. She deserved to know the situation so she could make up her own mind. He had too much respect for her to take the choice away from her. He just hoped she could still work with them. If not, well, he was getting old to be in the field anyway.

"Jack, how are you and Doctor Jackson handling this?" Jack was startled out of his thoughts by the general's voice. For a split second he thought his CO was asking him about them as a //couple//.

"Oh, you know how it is, join the Air Force, "cross into the blue", see how you'd look pregnant." Jack had laughed the first time he saw that phrase after going through the gate.

"Doctor Jackson's not Air Force."

"No, sir, he's not. He's the guy who makes friends with the Unas who wants to have him for dinner." General Hammond's expression started to shift from concerned CO to slightly pissed off general. "He's managing." Jack squirmed a little in his chair. The general wanted more. "Okay, he's hovering. It's a Daniel thing." Jack shrugged and the general seemed to understand since he started looking more concerned again and less like he was about to explode.

"Doctor Frasier is concerned that you might both need to speak to someone when this is over." //Gee, thanks, Doc.//

"Oh, I don't think that's going to be necessary, sir." Jack ran a hand through his hair and tried to find the words to express what he wanted to say. "Look, this is one of the weirder things we've run across, but weird is what we do." //Okay, that wasn't it.// "If it's any help, we are talking, but just to each other." //Better.// "After all, I don't think you're going to find many shrinks with experience helping people through this sort of thing, sir." The general grinned and shook his head.

"You've got that right. We'll leave this for the time being. I'll speak to Doctor Frasier and we'll revisit it once this is over." He stood and Jack took that as his hint that it was time to go. "I do trust, Colonel, that you'll keep me appraised if the situation starts to affect your ability to do your job. Either of you." General Hammond's ability to move so gracefully from "George" to "the General" never ceased to impress Jack.

"Yes, sir." Jack opened the door.

"Colonel?" He turned back to face his CO praying he wasn't changing his mind already about the shrink.

"I understand you warned Doctor Jackson to 'hightail it back through the mirror' if the gate activated." Jack nodded. "See to it that you take your own advice."

"Yes, sir! Will there be anything else, general?" Jack so loved being able to be a smartass to his CO and get away with it. It's the little things in life that make it worth living. The general looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Yes, there is." He stopped and appeared to change his mind. "No, that can wait. I won't be able to see you off. Have Major Carter report to me once she's no longer needed on site." The red phone on the general's desk rang as he smiled and waved toward the door. "Just get out of my office, Colonel."

"Getting out, sir." Jack left the general's office, his mind already back to the mission. It wasn't their ordinary kind of mission, but he wasn't going to fool himself into thinking it was completely safe, either. This wasn't exactly what he would have chosen for his and Daniel's first mission after last night. A nice boring mineral survey on an empty planet somewhere would have been nice. There might be a snake on that other Earth and the gate was sitting in the backyard of the house where the mirror was located. Even though it had been inactive for years, he just //knew// all it would take was for the two of them to be there for more than an hour and an entire army would come pouring through. With that cheerful thought in mind, he decided to go to the locker room by way of the armory. That way he wouldn't have to argue with Daniel over the necessity of being prepared. He'd just hand him a zat and tell him to pack it. Besides, SG1's locker room was private. If Daniel wanted to bitch, Jack now had an excellent way to distract him.

They arrived in the mirror room, as everyone was calling it now, to find Caruthers waiting for them. Daniel had complained about Jack's need to be armed, but not as much as he'd feared he would. Jack got the impression his objections had been out of habit more than anything else. Jack had compromised by packing their zats in their packs. Just before they left the locker room, Daniel had taken him into his arms and held him for a long moment. Nothing was said, but the message was received. Jack had suddenly felt better about what they were about to do. After all, no one //there// would raise an eyebrow if they were caught in a hug. Couldn't go any further than that. This was a mission, after all. This was so not going to be easy.

Daniel wandered over to where Caruthers and Frasier were deep in conversation. Carter and Siler, who had a new bandage on one hand, stood near the mirror, which was laid out on the floor again. A couple of ordinary mirrors had been mounted in odd positions around it. A half dozen airmen were standing around apparently waiting to stand the mirror up again. The decontamination equipment had been moved out of the way, but sat waiting, a testament to Frasier's professional paranoia. The two SFs on duty in the room stood out of the way, alert, but not underfoot. Jack nodded his approval at them and headed over to his second. He needed a few moments out of Daniel's proximity to get himself under control. He'd needed that hug in the locker room. Maybe Daniel had, too. Unfortunately, it had brought down some of the Jack's barriers and they weren't going back up very easily. He really needed to be the colonel now, but he kept wanting to be just Jack. No, he kept wanting to be Daniel's Jack and that wouldn't fly on base.

"All set, Carter?" Jack dropped his pack near the table with all her doohickeys on it. Nothing like talking to Carter to bring the colonel to the surface.

"All set, sir." She dismissed Siler with a nod and then turned back to Jack. "Sir, as we covered in the briefing," //Bless you, Carter.// "we think you and Daniel will need to stay at least two days to allow Lord," she shot a quick glance at Caruthers, "Cascadia's and Jonathan's cells to regain their equilibrium."

"So, we go, visit for a couple of days then come home." He looked again at the new mirrors.

"About those, sir." He looked back at her, but decided to spare her the need to explain. He decided to spare //himself// her need to explain. The mirrors were arranged so the surface of the mirror could be monitored from a distance while it was flat on the floor.

"Good idea, Carter. The SFs will be able to monitor activity on the other side and still maintain security." The look on her face was worth the price of admission all by itself. "Your idea?" It really didn't have a Carterish feel to it, but he'd let her correct him.

"No," she was still looking at him like he'd grown a second head, "actually, it was Sergeant Siler's idea." Flustering Carter was the most fun he could legally have on base.

"Good plan, Siler." Jack smiled at his favorite sergeant. Carter and Daniel might be the big brains of the SGC, but, as always, when a man needed something more prosaic done, he went to a sergeant. Siler was the best.

"Thank you, sir." Siler took his praise with the same deadpan look he always had.

"Hurt your hand setting those up?"

"No, sir." Jack waited a second for further explanation, but the taciturn man had already turned back to his work crew. Jack faced Carter again who just shrugged and smiled way too brightly. A good officer didn't push a sergeant for no good reason. Carter was a very good officer.

"Get it set up, Carter. Let's get this show on the road." Jack wandered over to Daniel and the others. He wandered slowly so he could enjoy looking at his lover. //Being the colonel is overrated.// Daniel turned his head as if aware of Jack's regard. He raised his eyebrows briefly then excused himself from the group. They //definitely// needed some down time when this was over. Daniel approached and then nodded to an empty corner of the room.

"I think we should try to convince them to bury the gate while we're there." Daniel kept his voice low.

"I think we should ask the general for two weeks off when we get back." Daniel blinked at him in confusion. "C'mon, Daniel." Jack took a half step closer. Maybe he could get him to flutter instead of blink. He hadn't done that since things changed between them. Jack wanted to see how he'd like it given his new perspective. "You, me. The lubricant of your choice. We could go to the cabin. No one around for miles."

"Jack!" Daniel visibly struggled to keep his voice to a whisper. Jack figured he'd rather shout. "As flattering as that is, do you think you could //possibly// not do this at work?" Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. "You have no idea how hard this is for me." Jack grinned at his lover's choice of words. Daniel rolled his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest in defeat.

"Sorry." Jack tried to at least look sorry, but he had to fight to keep from grinning.

"No you're not." Daniel looked at him over his glasses, but his scowl was about as convincing as Jack's attempt at looking contrite.

"Am, too." Jack's grin was definitely winning.

"Are not." Daniel's scowl wavered a little more.

"Am, too." Who was he kidding? Jack wasn't sorry at all.

"Are, too." Daniel's scowl was history.

"Am, not." Jack had been so intent on watching Daniel's face and thinking about two weeks alone that he'd lost the thread of their play argument. "Hey!"

"Yes, Jack? Something on your mind?" Daniel was openly smirking.

"You, you," For a man who didn't want to risk dragging an illegal relationship into the open on base, Daniel was walking that thin line Hammond always warned him about. At the moment, Jack wanted nothing more but to kiss that triumphant smirk off the handsome face in front of him.

"Why, yes I am, Jack. How good of you to notice."

"You must have cheated." He didn't usually lose these bouts.

"Ha! You're just mad because now you're going to have to pay up." Jack could think of several pleasant ways to 'pay up'.

"Pay up? I don't recall betting anything." A man did have his pride.

"The spoils, Jack. The spoils." Daniel was positively gloating now. Which ended up not being a problem at all since Jack discovered he had a new kink. Gloating Daniel was // hot//.

"What were we talking about before?" He'd have to wait to explore the full potential of gloating. //God, this bites!//

"Burying the gate."

"Oh, yeah." Damn. He'd really rather lose to Daniel again and see where it led. Jack decided he was //never// playing gin with the man again. "Do you really think they'll do it?" Daniel scowled at him. Jack didn't think his heart was in it. Standing together like this was so not a good idea. It seemed that scowling was hot, too.

A heavy thud was followed by Carter's voice. "Sir? We're ready for you."

"Get your stuff." Jack beckoned to Caruthers and got his own pack. "Carter, once we're through, report to General Hammond."

"Yes, sir. We'll leave the mirror up in case you need to come through quickly." He nodded as he settled his pack on his back, resisting the urge to check Daniel's. He hadn't needed to do that for years, but it was a hard habit to break. "Ready?" Both men nodded and they stepped up to the mirror. Jack motioned for Caruthers to take point, even though the other room was empty and put his hand on Caruthers' shoulder. Daniel stood on his other side and touched the man's arm.

"It's okay. Just touch the surface of the mirror and we'll all go through." Jack wanted to just shove him but let Daniel talk him through it instead. No sense in pissing the man off for no reason. Either man. Caruthers raised a tentative hand and Jack could feel him take a deep breath before he touched the mirror. One annoying jolt of electricity later and they were facing the SGC. Carter and Frasier stood side by side and Carter waved to them. He waved back and turned to look around the room. It did look like a Daniel sort of room, books and artifacts covered most surfaces. The gate standing outside the window seemed fitting.

"I just hope the door's not going to be locked again."

"Not to worry, Danny boy, I came prepared." Jack dug into one of his pockets and pulled out a set of lock picks.

"What's that for?" Caruthers stared at the two men before heading to the desk.

"When I was here before, I had to wait for someone to open the door from the outside."

Caruthers lifted the lamp on the desk and flourished the key he found underneath it. "Wouldn't this be easier?"

"Tell me that wasn't there before." Daniel looked at Jack and shrugged helplessly. Oh, this could be fun. Jack could tease him about this one for months. His face must have given him away because Daniel's half-embarrassed expression changed to a narrow eyed glare that promised... //Shit. I am in deep shit.// Even glaring Daniel was hot. Jack had to get a handle on this and soon. He couldn't go around wanting to jump or be jumped by his archeologist on every mission.

"Oh, no, no. Ian said he'd put it there for me." Caruthers calmly unlocked the door while Jack continued sneaking glances at Daniel to see if he was still ticked. That's when he remembered their 'audience'. Carter and Frasier were smiling way too much on the other side. "Give me a moment to make sure the corridor's clear. We really need to keep you out of sight." He ducked out quickly closing the door behind him.

Jack stood slightly behind the door so he wouldn't be seen by anyone on the other side when it opened again. Daniel prowled near the desk, looking over the papers there. They waited in silence and just when Jack was beginning to fidget, the door opened. He motioned to Daniel to stand away from it and then Caruthers stepped into the room. "The way is clear, gentlemen, if you'll follow me I'll show you to his lordship's suite."

Placing his finger over his mouth in a plea for silence, Caruthers led them out of the room. If the staircase and the front hall were anything to go by, this place was huge. The servants Jack had heard about were absent. They went up two flights and turned down a long hallway. Jack mentally placed them over the same corridor they'd entered when they left Lord Daniel's study. He really wished he had a layout of the place. He hated not knowing the lay of the land even if they were supposed to stay put for the duration. Caruthers finally stopped in front of the fourth door along the corridor. He knocked and entered without waiting for an answer. Jack and Daniel followed him, Jack still threat assessing and Daniel, no doubt, studying the architecture. Jack recognized the two younger men in the suite. Daniel had told him they were Ian and Jose, Lord Daniel's other consorts. Jose had been the one with the shotgun. Jack stared at him and noted him as the more dangerous of the two. Neither man was in as good shape as he or Daniel, but Jose carried himself like a soldier. The third man was older than Jack and he had the uncomfortable feeling he knew //exactly// who he was. A quick glance at Daniel's white face confirmed it.

"Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you. Colonel Jack O'Neill, Doctor Daniel Jackson, this is Lord Jackson, Head of the House of Jackson, Duke of the West and Lord Cascadia's father."

"What have you done with my son!"

~*~

CHAPTER 20

Daniel thought he'd prepared himself for this moment. In reality he realized he'd barely thought about it. Too much had happened in too short a period and his avoidance techniques had worked perfectly. He'd barely thought it through at all. //That's not Dad. He's been dead for over thirty years. That's his father, not mine.// His thoughts clamored for attention, but his aching heart told him otherwise. Human beings just weren't cut out for this sort of thing. Maybe some other species could assimilate the information better, but humans are such creatures of instinct and Daniel's instinct told him the man in front of him was the same man he'd known all those years ago. This man's hair was white, his face lined, but his dark eyes were the same. His hands were the same as the man Daniel remembered. The man who'd carefully taught him how to unearth an artifact, how to piece together the broken bits. The man who'd first shown him the wonders of Ancient Egypt and held him after the nightmares brought on from too many hours in dark scary tombs. Images of him laughing, giving orders to the diggers, dancing with his mother, countless other moments from their brief life together flashed through Daniel's mind like a manic Power Point presentation. Somewhere there were voices but he had no idea what they were saying. He couldn't hear them over the pounding of his heart and the rushing in his ears.

"What have you done with my son!" //I'm here, Dad!// Even his voice rang through Daniel's memories.

"I'm," //God, no, don't! You're not who he's talking about!// That thought was like a blow. For a single moment, Daniel hated his counterpart. He had almost //everything// Daniel wanted. He could live openly with his O'Neill, he had children. He had //his father//. "I'm sorry, he's, um,"

"Your Grace, no one has done //anything// with Lord Cascadia that isn't in his best interests. He's still on the other side of the mirror because //that's// where //I// determined he can receive the care he needs for the moment." Daniel heard Devon's words as he slowly started becoming aware of his surroundings again. Someone's arm was around Daniel's waist, which was good because he wasn't certain his legs would continue to hold him up. Jack. Jack was there. He looked at his lover.

"You okay?" Jack's whisper didn't carry far, didn't interrupt the argument going on in front of them.

"No. Not really." He wished he could smile to take some of the worry from the other man's face, but knew there was no way he could muster one. Jack's strong arms pulled him and Daniel let himself follow. He managed a few shaky steps then he was turned and urged to sit. He fell into something soft and realized it was the same sofa he'd sat on the last time he was here. That's when he realized someone, most likely Jack, had removed his pack. //Get a grip. This is a mission. You can't fall apart.// Daniel closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Drawing on lessons he'd learned meditating with Teal'c he calmed himself. Jonathan had told him Lord Jackson had been called, but the ramifications of that summons hadn't sunk in.

"Better?" Jack's concerned voice drew Daniel out of his contemplation. He nodded feeling suddenly embarrassed.

"Yeah." He looked up at the other men and let his eyes skim over Lord Jackson. He'd have to push past this, but maybe he could do it incrementally. "Sorry, um, for this. It's just," //Okay, this is going well.//

"A shock?" Devon sat on his other side and took his wrist while looking at his watch. Now Daniel found a weak smile. Why did doctors //always// ask a question just as they started doing something that prevented the patient from answering? Devon nodded as he finished and patted Daniel's shoulder. "Why don't you sit here for a moment while I fill the family in?"

"Thanks, Devon." Daniel sat back tried to shift into professional mode. This was a mission and he needed to be able to relate to these people. Jack settled in next to him and when Daniel glanced at him, he got a quick wink in response. Drawing strength from his lover's presence, he turned back to the others. Ian and Jose were sitting in adjacent chairs while Devon delivered his report to a pacing Lord Jackson. He began with Daniel's illness which, judging from the older man's expression, he'd already been told about. Ian and Jose sat quietly since they knew this part, but Lord Jackson's questions came thick and fast. Devon answered them as he segued into what they'd found. Now it was Lord Jackson's turn to be shocked. He finally sat and listened to the rest of Devon's tale in silence while Daniel stared at him wistfully. He was thirty years older than the father Daniel remembered, but his expressions were the same. Now that his initial shock was over, he found it easier to see him. Daniel fought down the desire to get to know the man. He'd likely have to spend some time with him, but this was only for a few days. This was a humanitarian mission and when it was over, they'd say their farewells to these men and go on with their lives.

Daniel took a mental step back from the situation and started analyzing what he was seeing. Forcing himself into professional discipline helped him control the emotional turmoil underneath. Ian was the caretaker of the group. That fit from hearing his counterpart's description of his position in the household. When Devon described his son's illness, Ian was the one who brought Lord Jackson brandy, offering the rest the same. Daniel declined and was presented with what turned out to be cranberry juice. He and his alternate shared the same tastes, apparently. He thought of the man beside him and snorted quietly. Jose kept himself between them and Lord Jackson. The protector, as he was when Daniel first met him. He'd apparently been in some sort of military or law enforcement position prior to his marriage. Frankly, Daniel had still been dealing with the idea of California being a nation when that had been mentioned. It was difficult to glean much about Lord Jackson's relationship with them under these circumstances. Daniel had gotten the impression that there was some friction between father and son. He bit down on his resentment at that thought. It wasn't any of his business, it didn't relate to him. He gave himself a mental shake and went back to his observations. Did the older man see himself as his son's consorts' father-in-law? How did he feel about his son's household? From things said, as well as things left unsaid, at the SGC, Daniel ran his household a little differently than other men in his position. Was that the source of the friction or was it something deeper? He apparently embraced his grandsons since they'd gone to visit him. Daniel wondered if the boys returned with him. If they were, this could become even more awkward. For all of them.

"Your thoughts, Doctor Jackson?" Jack whispered so as not to interrupt Devon. They'd used each other's titles more since becoming lovers than they had since they first met. Hearing Jack whisper "Doctor Jackson" did things to his body that weren't appropriate for the setting. Daniel wondered how he could manage to get him to call him that in bed.

"Just wondering about the relationships here." Daniel kept his voice equally quiet. "This would be a fascinating anthropological study. They've devised a completely unique social structure in a very short time. In some ways it's reminiscent of the bachelor groups we found on," Jack covered Daniel's mouth and nodded to their companions who were now watching them. Daniel felt his face flush. Not even getting laughed off the stage in Los Angeles had been this embarrassing. Jack released him, touching his arm for a moment.

"Uhm," he cleared his throat, "I'm terribly sorry, that was insensitive and," before he could finish Lord Jackson burst into laughter. Soon the others followed and Daniel wished he could disappear into the sofa. It didn't help when Jack joined them. "Jack!" He spit his lover's name out between clinched teeth.

"Daniel! Relax!" Jack calmed down enough to speak, which was better than the others were doing. "They //know// you!" He waved a hand, "The //other// you." He patted Daniel's knee and shook his head. "Just be glad Carter and Teal'c weren't here." The thought of their reactions to his inappropriate academic fervor forced a smile out of him and soon he chuckled along with the others.

"No, Doctor, I'm the one who should apologize." Lord Jackson leaned forward in his chair, arms resting on his thighs, hands dangling between his legs. Daniel's heart clinched at half-remembered position. "They," his counterpart's father nodded to Jose and Ian, "told me how similar you are and now that I see it for myself. I'm sorry for laughing, that was rude." He grinned now, shaking his head. "Not only do you share my son's interests," he darted a glance at Jack, "but you have his passion as well. Tell me, what is your doctorate in?"

"Archeology." Daniel had an idea and decided to run with it. "My parents were archeologists. I never wanted to be anything else." Maybe if he could keep reminding himself of his own father, this familiar stranger in front of him would stop reminding him of what he'd lost. He needed to keep in mind what he'd had.

"And one in linguistics. Can't forget that Mr. I Speak More Than Twenty-Three Languages." Jack spoke with pride. He'd always seemed proud of Daniel's achievements, which had never made any sense to Daniel. It reminded him of Lord Daniel telling them about Jonathan's power plant designs.

"More than twenty-three? That's quite impressive." Daniel couldn't help the warmth that spread through him at Lord Jackson's praise.

"It was twenty-three when we met. He's picked up a few since then." Doting Jack was getting a little embarrassing. Hot, but embarrassing.

"Jack. I don't think we need to go into that." Daniel scowled at his lover and got confirmation of his earlier suspicion, Jack liked it when he scowled at him. //Damn, why didn't we figure this out years ago?//

"Not anthropology?" Lord Jackson's eyes twinkled as he teased.

"Um, well, yes, that, too." Daniel could do this. If there was one thing he'd never been self-conscious about it was his academic achievements. He'd worked hard for his degrees and done it almost completely on his own. The only person who'd been there was Mrs. Greenleaf, his social worker who'd helped him claw his way through the system to get into college at fifteen as an emancipated minor. Even then the court only granted it provisionally until he was sixteen and had proven himself capable of taking care of himself in the supportive world of higher education. UCLA wasn't generally known as taking in loco parentis to heart, especially not when he was there, but they did well by him. Better than many of the foster homes he'd been in. At least at school he hadn't had to deal with mercurial foster parents and often-cruel foster siblings.

"I've always wondered why you rarely mention that one." Jack could be subtle, but rarely bothered. Daniel shrugged.

"Habit. Doctor Jordan offered me the position in Chicago right after I did my orals and, um, I took it. Until the SGC, I never really used it." Doctor Jordan's death still grieved him. Daniel had wanted to tell these men about the Goa'uld they'd found still present on their Earth, but he'd been vetoed. The rationale was that their universe was different enough that those snakes might not be here. He'd had to admit that they were only guessing that the early death of George III was the event that caused their universes to diverge. The final argument was that if Nirrti was there, she might seek them out as allies and they didn't want to risk the information getting into the wrong hands. Maybe they could tell them later, if they ever found out what happened to Nirrti for certain. The last thing these people needed were more snakes.

Lord Jackson was openly staring at him. Daniel wished Devon would pick up the thread of his story.

"Dan, I'm sorry, Doctor Jackson," Daniel started to correct him, but didn't, no matter how much he wanted to hear his name from the other man. //Keep it formal.// It still hurt. "I assume your father is deceased?"

"Yes, sir." With a sinking feeling, he realized he'd have to give a little more or be rude. "My parents died in an accident." He crossed his arms and looked down for a moment. "It was a long time ago. Seeing you was a bit of a shock." He smiled to hide the pain, but wasn't sure anyone bought it.

"They died together." Lord Jackson's voice echoed Daniel's own envy of his other self. Daniel nodded in empathy. His decades old grief was replaced by his more recent loss in the wake of the older man's distress. Even though he'd found love again, there was a hole in his heart where his Shaur'e had been. Nothing would ever fill it. Ian got up and poured a little more brandy into Lord Jackson's snifter.

"Mel, why don't we take a break?" Ian laid his hand on his father-in-law's shoulder. "You've traveled most of the day and I doubt you've eaten recently. Plus you've had our hellions for a couple of weeks. That's enough to wear anyone out. Daniel will kill me if I don't see to it that you take care of yourself." He smiled and the older man nodded. Probably just as well. They'd just handed the old man a series of shocks. Taking a little time to assimilate it would be good. From what Daniel's counterpart had told him, his father was a member of the Grand Council. It was quite likely that he knew the men responsible for this. Possible that he knew the host Nirrti was hiding in, though they hadn't told any of them their suspicions about her, yet. They also hadn't told him yet about his new granddaughter, just that Daniel was recovering and he'd apparently assumed that Jonathan would insist on staying with his husband.

"My son has taught you some very bad habits, Ian." There was more tease than accusation in his words, causing Daniel to refine his assumptions on the men's relationships. Whatever the friction between Lord Jackson and his son, there seemed to be genuine affection between these men.

"I beg to differ, sir. I think he's taught me quite a few very good habits." Ian smiled and the older man shook his head ruefully.

"I think I've been spending too much time with Nick. I'm beginning to sound like him." The few memories Daniel had of Nick before his parents died consisted mostly of the old man's constant dismissive remarks about his father. He hadn't thought Melbourne Jackson good enough for his daughter and never let either of them forget it. Daniel had been torn between loyalty to his beloved father and wanting to do anything to gain his grandfather's respect and affection. It had hurt when Nick hadn't wanted him, but at some level he'd been almost glad to not have to live with him. Even as a child, he suspected he'd never have been quick enough, smart enough, good enough to overcome Nick's prejudice against his father.

"How is Nick, sir?" Jose spoke for the first time.

"He has good days and bad days." Lord Jackson addressed Daniel and Jack as he explained. "He was very sick for a long time with Compton's and Anika's death hit him hard." Daniel's mind reeled. His grandmother had died when his mother was very young. She'd told him she didn't remember her at all. He wasn't completely certain of the cause, but he thought it might have been in childbirth. Nick had never spoken of his wife at all in Daniel's presence. //Just one more difference.// Just one more thing //he'd// lost that // this// Daniel hadn't. "I'm sorry, Doctor Jackson, I'm upsetting you." Daniel was startled out of his thoughts. He hadn't realized he'd let anything show. His usual barriers were well and truly down.

"No, no, it's all right, sir." He tried to reassure the other man, tried to turn attention away from him. He didn't need anyone's pity. "It's just," he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath, grateful for the hand Jack kept on his arm. It helped keep him grounded. "It's one thing to see the, the big differences here. It's surprisingly more difficult to see," he searched for the words that would express what he wanted without sounding self- pitying.

"See the stuff that only applies to you?" Jack squeezed his arm. "Daniel, the stuff that applies to us is //always// big stuff." So much for keeping this impersonal and professional. For the millionth time Daniel wondered why the universe seemed determined to make his private life the stuff of mission reports. Make that universes.

"Yeah." He let the word out slowly and shifted mental gears again. He slapped his thighs and stood up quickly, preferring to be in motion while he did this, if he had to do it at all and it seemed there was no good way to avoid it. "Look, lets get this part over with, shall we?" Noting the slightly surprised, but mostly amused expressions on his audience's faces he dove into his recitation with forced lightness. "My paternal grandparents died before I was born." Lord Jackson just nodded, which indicated to Daniel that this was probably at least roughly the same in both universes. "My maternal grandmother died, I think in childbirth, years and years before I was born, but since my mother didn't remember her, she never talked about her at all. Nick never did either. They died, Nick walked, I grew up, went to school, got myself laughed out of my profession because I had the audacity to be //right// and now I'm here."

He stopped pacing and looked around at everyone. With grim satisfaction Daniel noticed a distinct lack of amusement now. He was angry, hating every single one of them for forcing this out of him. Might as well give them all of it. "Oh, wait, I forgot. Went on the first mission through the gate, got married, left her to get taken by a snake and then one of my best friends had to kill her when her snake was trying to kill me. You really should be taking notes, you know. There might be a quiz later."

"Daniel!" Jack barked his name. Daniel knew that tone but didn't really care at the moment. He was unraveling, but didn't know how to stop it or even if he wanted to.

"Jack? Did I leave anything out? Oh, of course, silly of me." He started his pacing again, "Let's see, sarcophagus addiction, and I really don't recommend that, by the way. Tossed in a padded cell with one of Machello's little gizmos in me, nearly tossed in a padded cell with twelve alien personalities downloaded into my head, almost fell for someone with the adorable nickname of "Destroyer of Worlds", ran into an old girlfriend with a snake in her head, died a //bunch// of times." As he talked, he strode to the sideboard and poured himself a glass of something out of a cut crystal decanter. Daniel felt manic and needed something to that would calm him down. He wanted to stop, to apologize, but couldn't. He really wanted to just grab Jack and go home. Tell them they couldn't do this, that the others had to leave. For once, he wanted to be selfish and do something for //him//. Instead, Daniel tossed back his drink relishing the fiery path it traced to his stomach and poured again. He grinned despite the horror in his mind and the tears he felt forming. "If any of you ever think about suicide, I suggest you avoid radiation sickness, it's not nearly as fun as say a staff blast. But hey, I got to ascend to a higher plane of existence," he used one hand to illustrate his ascension treating it as the meaningless exercise in futility it had been, "where I achieved absolutely nothing but the destruction of an entire planet and got my memories wiped as a consolation prize." He tossed back the second drink and addressed his "class" as he'd started thinking of them. Daniel Jackson 101. "Any questions?" He felt the alcohol begin to work its way into his system. He wanted to be numb, but didn't think there was enough liquor in both universes to achieve that now. Daniel headed back to the sideboard, poured again and stood there staring into his refilled glass. This was a mission. Shame flooded through him. He couldn't do this.

"Danny." He choked back the sob that rose at that voice saying his name. He hadn't felt that hand on his shoulder outside his dreams in more than thirty years. No. Not // his// father. He clutched at the faded remnants of his anger.

"No!" Daniel whirled and staggered away from //Lord Cascadia's// father. "No! // You// don't get to call me that!" He heard his glass shatter against the far wall before he even realized he'd thrown it. "You're //not// him! You're not //my// father! He's // dead//!" Daniel turned and bumped into the dining table. He leaned against it, head down, futility trying to stop the tears streaming down his face.

"Daniel." Lord Jackson's voice was softer this time, but just as close. "I listened to you. Please, hear me now." Strong gentle hands rubbed his back. Insistent pressure around his shoulders turned him as his father's counterpart pulled him into an embrace. Daniel's resistance melted along with the last of his control. He buried his face in this stranger's neck his familiar scent blasting through Daniel's brain which told him again that this was the same man he'd loved and lost so long ago. Finally Daniel let go and sobbed out his untouched grief of thirty years. The man's hand stroked Daniel's hair while the other held him securely. Soft words of comfort whispered in his ear and slowly the storm eased.

"Sorry." Daniel's voice was muffled and choked, but he didn't want to move. Didn't want to leave this because he knew he'd never have it again. He understood now why Jack had kissed Samantha O'Neill. It had been a gift, nothing more. A goodbye he could give her that her husband hadn't been able to.

"Shhh, there's nothing to be sorry for." Daniel nodded against his almost father's neck and gripped the back of the man's shirt more tightly. "Better?" Daniel nodded again and couldn't help smiling through his tears. His Dad had always asked him that after holding him through whatever upset sent him into his arms. He wasn't surprised to feel a kiss pressed into his hair. That, too, was old and familiar. "Good. I need to say something and I want you to listen." Daniel nodded again, he was too exhausted to speak. "When I see you, I see how like my son you are. Not even my twin grandsons are as similar as the two of you. You really //are// the same person." Daniel squeezed his eyes more tightly shut, wanting to stifle more tears, but it didn't work. "My sons-in-law told me about that when I got here, but I didn't really believe them until now." Daniel giggled. He felt drunk, but not entirely from alcohol. All he could think at the moment was that he could check how Lord Jackson felt about his son's consorts off his list of unanswered questions.

"Daniel?"

"N-nothing." He was amazed he could get the word out. He fought down the laughter. "I'll, I'll tell you later." His father's counterpart, he couldn't think of him as "Lord Jackson" any more, hugged him tighter for a moment.

"Okay, when you're ready." Another kiss was pressed into his hair. "I can only assume that I, well, //your// father and I would have been the same had we ever met." Daniel's heart started to pound in time with his throbbing head. "I can't fully speak for him, but if it were //my// son in your position, I'd want him to know" the older man pulled back a little and turned Daniel's head so they were looking into each other's eyes the man's hand cupping Daniel's cheek. His eyes were almost as red and puffy as Daniel imagined his to be and his face was wet with his own tears. Daniel held his breath. "I'd want him to know that his father loves him, no matter which universe he was born in."

With a fresh flood of tears, Daniel pulled the beloved stranger into a hug of his own. He struggled for enough control to force words out. "I think," he puffed, his sinuses too swollen with tears to let him breathe properly, "I think you're probably right." Daniel pulled back to look at the man again. His smile was genuine this time as he memorized every line, every wrinkle. "//He// usually was, so why would you be any different?" His almost father smiled back.

"And since we now both know I'm usually right, why don't you and your //friend//" he raised his eyebrow in question as he said the word and Daniel looked down, blushing, "go and rest for a while before dinner." Daniel looked up and nodded, his fading blush still in evidence. The old man cradled Daniel's face in his palms and gently kissed his forehead making Daniel want to weep again for the painful familiarity of it all.

"Yes, sir." Then Jack was there, his arm around Daniel's shoulders and he decided he'd had enough and he leaned into his lover's embrace.

"Then, perhaps, we can hear about the rest of what you've been doing all these years." Daniel wondered again there was never an attack when he really needed one. "I got the impression that there were a few things left out."

"Oh, yeah. You should read his mission reports." Jack shuddered, but his hand on Daniel's shoulder continued to stroke gently. "All the good stuff is buried behind tons of crap nobody outside his department understands."

"Gee, thanks, Jack. How about next time I give it to you in Power Point? That way you can sleep through it without drooling on the paper." God, he loved this man. As long as he was irritating him, Daniel could get a handle on his emotions just so he could focus on making Jack equally miserable.

"Oh, would you?" Jack beamed at Melbourne Jackson who smiled back. "What a guy!"

"I couldn't agree more, Jon, I'm sorry, I keep doing this. Colonel."

"No need to be so formal. Jack's fine." //Yes,// Daniel thought, //Jack certainly is fine.//

"Jack it is, then." He squeezed Daniel's shoulder once more and gave him a gentle smile that Daniel returned. "Until later, then." He released Daniel's shoulder and left the room, gesturing to Devon to join him.

Devon had been on the far side of the room with Ian and Jose apparently //not// seeing or hearing anything. He said his goodbyes to them all and followed with a quiet, "Yes, Your Grace" shutting the door behind him.

"So, you heard the man. We should //rest// before dinner. Sounds like an excellent idea, don't you agree Doctor Jackson?" Daniel laid his head against Jack and nodded. Earlier he'd wanted to be numb and it seemed he'd finally achieved his goal, except for his headache courtesy of his crying jag. He was numb and exhausted. Somewhere deep down he thought he might be a little happy, but he couldn't really feel it through his bone numbing fatigue.

"Gentlemen," Ian was playing host again it seemed, "Please, Daniel and Jonathan would want you to use their room." He let Jack lead him to the doorway. "We need to keep up the illusion that they're still here anyway." Ian shrugged and led them into the bedroom.

Daniel half-listened to Jack and Ian discussing something, but all Daniel could think of was how comfortable that big bed looked. He sat down on it and flopped back, feeling his body relaxing into its soft grip. His head was pounding and he couldn't breathe through his nose, but even those discomforts were minor compared to the rest his body clamored for. Daniel dimly registered the door closing, but didn't want to think about it. He was on the cusp of sleep when something tugging at his feet roused him enough to remember he was still fully dressed and only half on the bed. He raised himself onto his elbows enough to see Jack had begun to undress him. Worn out as he was, the idea of Jack undressing him got him half hard but he figured that's as far as he'd be able to go without some sleep.

"Hey, Danny Boy, still with me?" That was his lover's voice, not his team leader's. Definitely a case of the spirit being willing but the flesh being all but comatose.

"Sorta." A jaw-cracking yawn underlined his response.

"C'mon, big guy, lets get you ready for bed, hum?" Jack grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. Daniel's arms went around him automatically and he snuggled sleepily into his lover. "Let's go, love. Clothes, bathroom, bed."

Daniel nodded, smiling. "You, too?"

"Just //try// to keep me away, but just to sleep for now. You're dead on your feet." Daniel yawned again and straightened up so he could undress. He wandered through the room toward the bathroom, dropping clothes as he went. He stopped when he noticed a large grouping of pictures on the wall. He stepped toward them and gently brushed his fingers over the faces of this other Daniel's family. Jack's arms wrapped around his waist and Daniel felt him rest his chin on his shoulder.

"Do you think he knows, Jack?" Jack snorted in his ear.

"About us? I don't think we were hiding it very well out there." Daniel smiled and playfully slapped his lover's thigh.

"Wrong he. Wrong question."

"Oh! I can figure out the he, but what's the right question?" Jack kissed Daniel's neck.

"Does he know how lucky he is?" Jack moved his arms to more fully embrace Daniel and Daniel leaned a little on his lover.

"I don't know, love." Jack moved around until he was facing Daniel. "Sometimes what you've got is hidden by all the stuff you've lost."

"Maybe I'll tell him." He'd have to make sure he had a chance to sit down with his fortunate alternate self and tell him.

"Maybe you should." Jack leaned in and kissed Daniel's forehead in odd mimicry of the old man's gesture of affection and then kissed him with a lover's gentle passion. Wishing he wasn't so tired, that he hadn't had so much whiskey, that this rollercoaster ride was over, that they were home, Daniel kissed him back.

"Then I think I'll tell him how lucky I am." All the wonders he'd left out of his tirade flooded through his mind. Places he'd been. People he'd loved. People who'd loved him back. The man in his arms.

"Is that how you really feel, Daniel?" He heard the doubt in Jack's voice, but there was no doubt left in Daniel's heart.

"Yeah, it is." He'd been alone for so long, but now he realized for the first time that he hadn't been really alone for a long time. Not long ago he'd told Teal'c that he finally knew where home was, but it wasn't until this moment that he understood what that truly meant. He traced the lines of his lover's face and kissed him again. When they both needed to breathe he whispered, "I'm a very lucky man."

~*~

CHAPTER 21

Jack listened to Daniel snoring lightly against his neck. He'd been asleep almost before his head hit the pillow. Short nights, emotional turmoil and way too much whiskey on an empty stomach had worn him out. Jack was wide-awake. All he could hear was Daniel and a clock ticking off the time. Ian and Jose had left them alone to join their father-in-law and Caruthers. There was no direct, obvious threat here, but his instincts had him on alert, which was why there was a zat under their pillow and one inches from Jack's hand under the covers. This whole situation had been a mind fuck from the outset. As if the whole Lord Daniel/Jonathan/pregnant thing wasn't bad enough, now Daniel had to face meeting up with his dead father. They so did not cover this in leadership school. Time to take it back to basics. Toss out all the speculation from the past week or so and look at it fresh. This was the first quiet time he'd really had since this started. What did they have and what did they need?

They had an Earth attacked and then subsequently abandoned by Niriti's forces upon her supposed death. An engineered plague designed to kill females and sterilize most males. Medical technology far in advance of what they should have had appeared to allow the species to continue to reproduce. Then they had the dark side, which included tainted drugs that compromised the few men still able to reproduce and spread the virus to every newborn. That the children's parents were unknowingly delivering the virus was a particularly vicious twist worthy of a System Lord. Particularly Niriti. It was possible that she really was dead, but all the evidence pointed to a snake behind the tainted drugs. It just had that Gooldish feel to it. A human bent on world domination would have taken more direct action in the wake of the disaster.

The woman killing plague idea never had sat well with Jack. It made no military sense. Snakes wanted slaves and hosts. In order to have that they needed breeding humans. The snakes were arrogant, egotistical, narcissistic, paranoid and pathologically incapable of believing they could fail. That last was their biggest flaw and the SGC's greatest weapon. Unfortunately, they were also smart, ruthless, outrageously experienced and had fanatically devoted followers willing to throw themselves into the breach at the whim of their "gods".

The Niriti he knew and hated had been working on developing an advanced host for millennia. None of them had been surprised that she'd used a virus here to do her dirty work of bringing the population down to a more manageable level. Jack would bet his pension that her virus had been designed to leave fertile men who had particularly desirable genes for her purposes. The big question was why kill the women? Why not kill off the men? Surely it would have been easier to breed from an all female population. If nothing else, a woman's body would require no intervention aside from conception and that was theoretically possible on //his// planet. That's assuming she'd actively tried to take out one gender at all. Why not just target those with undesirable genes and leave the others sterile without her direct intervention. He didn't know squat about the kind of genetic engineering that would be required, but he didn't doubt Niriti was capable of it. That would have allowed her to pick and choose who bred with whom and still achieve her goals with fewer resources devoted just to her experiment. A slave population that had to devote everything to reproduction wouldn't generally satisfy a snake, especially on a planet with a population as large as this one had been. Why wouldn't she have planned to start transporting slaves to another of her planets to build ships or something? Teal'c had told them time and again that a System Lord's position was based, in part, on how many slaves he or she had under their control.

So far, so good. This was all stuff they'd batted around back at the SGC. Everyone had been so intent on the mechanics of the current situation and how to resolve it that they'd never really gone farther. Except for Teal'c. He'd suggested to Jack that someone in Niriti's own power structure could have deliberately sabotaged her virus to target Niriti's host in order to make her vulnerable. He'd reminded Jack that System Lords feared their own lieutenants more than their overt rivals. Assassination and usurpation was a traditional method of advancement into the ranks of the System Lords.

That scenario made a great deal of sense. A subordinate snake in the right position sabotaged the virus, took out Niriti and was now making the most of the situation at hand. The only problem with that was the apparent lack of snakoid presence on the planet. Why would the victor be in hiding? Why would they have gone and left an entire highly populated planet untended? Why was the gate, or the mirror, for that matter, allowed to be in human hands? Jack didn't think they had the second gate, either, since this one would be reacting every time the other one was used. The Russians had had to be very careful about using theirs to keep the SGC from discovering their competing project. Someone would have noticed //something//. So, no gate in use. Even under the circumstances on this world, a Jaffa army would be hard to hide. It was looking less and less like a power play by an ambitious snake in Niriti's organization. Which left only one logical option. The goddamned Tok'ra.

This had their slimy fingerprints all over it. They were always ready to fight to the last drop of their allies' blood in pursuit of their goals. Killing more than half the population of a planet to get a single snake would be just their style. Jack could hear it now, oddly enough in Anise's voice, "The losses were considered acceptable. Once Niriti had been neutralized we did remain long enough to ensure the continuing survival of the population. In time they will be able to return to normal methods of procreation. I don't know why you're upset, Colonel. It is better than what Niriti had planned for them." Jack ground his teeth in anger and he gripped Daniel hard enough to rouse him.

"J'ck?" Daniel rubbed his face against Jack's shoulder apparently not wanting to wake up.

"Shh, Danny, go back to sleep." Jack forced himself to relax and stroked his lover's back until Daniel settled again. He was still a little amazed at how easily they'd slipped into their new relationship. They'd only spent one night together and yet holding Daniel while he slept felt so very right. Yes, they'd huddled together for warmth on missions, but that had been very different. Jack resisted returning to his analysis until Daniel's snores told him the exhausted man was deeply asleep again.

The Tok'ra sabotaged the virus. The more Jack thought about it, the more certain he became that he was on the right track. But that didn't answer the question of who was tampering with the drugs. No matter how he felt about the Tok'ra's methods even he couldn't believe they would knowingly murder children in this way. There was nothing they could reasonably gain. The Tok'ra were remarkably single-minded in their hatred for their cousins. It would be completely out of character for them, assuming they were the same here as they were back home. That thought reminded him that he was working with way too many unknown variables. Jack frowned, but decided to go with what he knew until he had evidence to the contrary. For the time being, he'd assume that the Tok'ra were more or less the same in both universes. The saboteur was Tok'ra, or someone similar, but the tainted drugs had to be the other kind of snake and Jack would lay dollars to doughnuts it was Niriti.

Now, what did they need? They needed to know what the hell was going on. Was the Tok'ra agent still around? Logic said he'd stuck around long enough to get the male breeding program set up. Jack wasn't really sure Niriti would have bothered. She'd most likely have picked up stakes and moved on, leaving the population to its own devices when her initial plan cratered. Assuming she could have left. Perhaps the Tok'ra had been behind the desertion of her armies. Jack mused on this for a bit. Niriti had to know where the gate was. She, or would that be "he" now, surely knew the whereabouts of at least one of them. She would have identified their locations from space. They'd have been the only significant naquadah readings on the planet. Most likely she would have bailed and gone to another of her planets to start again. This operation was too fucked for even her ego. No, if she's still around it's because she couldn't leave for some reason. Maybe she doesn't have anywhere to go. Jack didn't think so. She'd had ships, multiple. That implied a power base larger than she'd had in his universe. For a System Lord that meant planets, plural. He really wished he could talk to Daniel about this, but the man needed his sleep. Jack would present him with his conclusions later. If the gate in the yard was the one from Giza, that meant the other gate was pretty much inaccessible to Niriti at the moment. Daniel had told him that the gate had been sent to Lord Daniel by his father along with the mirror and everything else of Niriti's that he could lay hands on. Lord Daniel was trying to decipher it, but that wasn't widely known. Even if she had a small ship secreted away, getting to the free gate and getting away would be risky and he wasn't sure she would have been able to determine if the Antarctic DHD was working from orbit. Daniel might be able to help him with that one. He knew this kind of stuff. If it came to it, he'd toss a note through to Carter and ask her.

Why would she be hiding? Because the Tok'ra agent was still around and she couldn't get to him to get rid of him. She had to be hiding in a fairly high placed host or at least one with direct access to the drugs. That put her either on the Grand Council or, more likely, the, Jack wracked his brain trying to remember what Daniel had called the other group. The Reproductive Council. They were the ones in charge of, well, reproduction. Or she could be in one of the scientists working directly with the various drugs. A scientist would be the most logical choice, but would she have stayed there? Jack put himself into his opponent's position. He was a snake able to change hosts, if not at will, at least from time to time. A human would be at great risk trying to move from one position to another, but a snake could pick and choose. Take over this scientist, do her work and then jump to a policy maker to make sure no one changed things. He needed to talk to Frasier. Could the drugs be rigged through some kind of division of labor so no one scientist knew what was happening? If he'd been the one planning it, he would have wanted to have someone working the drugs and someone else, probably himself, orchestrating policy. Given what must have happened to Niriti, he doubted she was in a trusting mood. No, she'd be doing it all herself, somehow. She was jumping hosts.

Keeping all the drugs coming from a single source made some sense for now but eventually things should recover to the point where they could afford to have additional manufacturing sites. As it stood, a single natural disaster could wipe out their ability to reproduce at all. Someone somewhere was sweating bullets over that one. Niriti wouldn't want to give up control, though. The more people handling the goods, the greater the risk of someone figuring it out. He'd love to know if there'd been any mysterious deaths in key positions. Snakes had a way of leaving a trail of bodies in their wake. If he were going to investigate this, that's where he'd start looking. Follow the bodies and see where they led.

Jack yawned. He'd gone as far as he reasonably could with his analysis without additional information. Some he could get from Daniel, but the rest would need to come from someone here. He glanced at the clock on the mantel and did a double take. He'd seen it when they first came in, but had been too concerned about Daniel to look closely. His grandmother had had a clock just like that, but it had been destroyed in a fire when he was a kid. He smiled remembering his fascination with it and how Grandma had promised he could have it when he was grown. At the time he hadn't thought about her meaning, but after she died the clock was mentioned in her will even though it had been gone for years. She'd left it to him.

Jonathan's clock, and he just knew it was his, told him they had another four hours before they needed to get ready for dinner with the elder Jackson and wasn't that a kick in the head. He hoped Daniel would be ready for that. Jack really wanted to just grab him and take him back through the mirror, but he couldn't abort a mission just because a member of his team was having a tough time with the natives. He reminded himself they weren't in any danger, for the moment. His instincts were still yelling for him to watch out, but he acknowledged that he might not be as objective as he should be. God, they needed to get a handle on this whole thing and do it quickly. He couldn't in good conscience continue to lead his team if he couldn't maintain his objectivity. Yes, he'd always been closer to SG1 than he had any right to be, but it //worked// for them and consequently it worked for the SGC and the whole damn planet. He'd also always watched out for Daniel more than the others, mainly because Daniel had needed it back in the beginning. Now it was more habit than anything else. Daniel was perfectly capable of taking care of himself in the field, but he was //Daniel//. They couldn't afford to lose him no matter what. Not again. The year he'd been gone had been horrible. Even then, though, he wasn't really //gone//. He'd still been watching their backs.

Somehow Jack was going to have to find a way to compartmentalize his lover and his teammate without alienating either one. //That// was the reason behind the frat rules. He'd always thought who a man or woman slept with was nobody's business and even if "don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue, don't harass" was a step in the right direction, it wasn't nearly enough. Back at the academy his ethics class had been assigned the task of writing a paper refuting an Air Force policy. He and several of his classmates had chosen the same-sex relationship proscription. He'd argued that the rationale that having a same-sex relationship made an officer ripe for blackmail was self-defeating since all the Air Force had to do was make such relationships legal to avoid the risk. He'd gotten an "A" for his reasoning, though his instructor had taken him aside and suggested he keep his argument to himself. He'd proven that he could think for himself, which was the object of the exercise, but he didn't want to raise any suspicion. That's what had killed his burgeoning relationship with Thomas.

Jack wasn't that kid any more. He'd been there, shot that and he decided if he couldn't compartmentalize, well, his knees and his back frequently reminded him just how much of a kid he wasn't. He closed his eyes, set his own internal clock and prepared to join his lover in sleep. As he was drifting off he remembered something he'd started to tell Daniel way too early that morning before the phone rang. As far as Jack was concerned, he'd pick Daniel over the Air Force any day of the week.

Jack's eyes flew open. He checked the clock, //Right on time//. He took a moment to assess the current situation then gingerly nudged Daniel off his chest and sat up. He'd take care of his needs first and leave Daniel to sleep for a little while longer. Jack grabbed the zat under the sheet but before he could tuck it into his belt there was a knock at the door. He stood, keeping the weapon behind him and out of sight as the door opened. An old man, probably a servant, entered carrying what looked and smelled like coffee on a silver tray. This was probably the man Daniel had told him about. Becker or Beckett or something starting with a "B".

"Good evening, sir." Bender kept his voice low, apparently not wanting to disturb Daniel, either. "Lord Jackson suggested you and," he paused in a way what was becoming much too familiar, "//Doctor// Jackson might enjoy a cup of coffee before dinner." He set the tray down on the small table near the window then turned back to address Jack. "My name is Beecham. I will be attending to your needs while you are here. Is there anything else you require?"

"Thank you, Beecham, I think we're good here." Beecham kept shooting glances between Jack and Daniel. Jack was getting a little tired of the constant gawking, but he supposed the two of them looked different enough from the counterparts to warrant it. Lord Daniel was still the somewhat reedy academic Daniel had been way back when. He was in decent physical shape, but hadn't been dodging staff blasts for almost ten years. Daniel's well-developed chest and arms were all too evident as he lay sleeping on his back with the sheet bunched at his waist. Jack, on the other hand, was in much the same shape, knees and back aside, that he'd been in for years. Jonathan was beefier even without the obvious complication of being recently pregnant.

"Sir, Lord Jackson suggested that if you so desired, Lord Cascadia and his gentleman wouldn't mind if you borrowed some of their clothing." Jack had the distinct impression that their BDUs wouldn't be welcome at the dinner table. Jack looked again at his sleeping lover. The clothing here was very similar to what was worn at home, if a lot less casual. Going native always left him feeling vulnerable. At least here he'd be in fairly ordinary clothes. It was the feathers and mud that really annoyed him. He weighed the options. He could insist they go as they were and possibly insult their host. It was also virtually impossible to hide a zat in BDUs. On the other hand, the jackets they'd be wearing if they borrowed clothes would allow for both of them to be armed without alerting anyone to that fact. Assuming they could find anything that fit.

"I don't know if that would work, Beecham." He wanted to say that there was no way Daniel could squeeze into any of Lord Daniel's shirts without ripping them. //I so did not need that image.// Jack chewed out his libido and continued, "And I'm afraid, Jonathan's clothes, well." He was pretty pleased with himself. He didn't want to insult anyone here. He could do diplomatic when he had to. At least if he didn't have to do it for very long. That was Daniel's job.

"Perhaps, sir," Beecham looked assessingly at each of them. "If I may suggest, you might be able to wear something of his lordship's while," again, he seemed to mentally stumble over what to call Daniel, "your companion could try something of his lordship's gentleman's." Beecham kept calling Jonathan "his lordship's gentleman". The odd construction nagged at Jack. He preferred plain speaking whenever possible. Jack guessed the old guy had some serious issues with the whole situation. //Who doesn't?// Language aside, he had a point about the clothes. That might just work.

"I don't suppose you could make some suggestions." Jack smiled his most charming smile. "Me, I'm just a soldier. I don't know much about this sort of thing but Daniel would kill me if I did anything to insult our host. He usually takes care of this stuff, but," he waved his hand at the sleeping man and let that complete his thought. Beecham seemed to accept that and nodded before moving silently to the closet in the dressing room off the bathroom. Jack took the opportunity to stash the zat back under the covers before following the old man. Beecham wasn't a threat, but he could be an invaluable source of information. He doubted the servant could tell him who the snake was, but he needed more general intel, too. The overt familiarity could prove fatal. He had to know where to draw the lines between here and home. Over the years, Jack had gotten almost more dirt from having a beer with the gardener or mechanic than he had from listening devices. Some of these guys loved to talk about their households.

"Sir? Would you prefer to make your own selections?" Ah, apparently a "gentleman" didn't follow a servant into the closet. Jack bit back on the obvious joke and once again thanked whoever might be listening that Carter and Teal'c weren't around this time out. Normally, he'd have preferred to have his entire team with him, but he could do without the teasing that would have resulted.

"Me? Oh, no, I trust you to find something appropriate. Your Daniel and Jonathan spoke highly of you and that's good enough for me." Jack beamed at the man whose professional face seemed to be cracking just a bit. He cranked up the charm and dove in. "So, Beecham, I guess you've been with," //Get it right, Jack!// "Lord Cascadia for a while now, right?" Beecham nodded as he sorted through what looked like an endless amount of clothes. Jack didn't think he'd owned that many shirts in his entire //life// let alone at one time. Then there were the pants in their own section of the closet. Suits hung farther on, then there was the floor to ceiling wall of cubby holes and racks containing sweaters, scarves, ties, gloves, shoes and god knows what else. Lots of blues, bright reds, blacks, whites and yes, the ever-present plaids. It reminded him of an agoraphobic tailor's shop or maybe his Daniel's closet on steroids. Jack couldn't stand it. "When do they find // time// to wear all this stuff?" Beecham actually smiled at him then.

"Sir, this is Lord Cascadia's closet. His gentleman's closet is on the other side of the dressing room." Jack held up one finger in a "be right back" gesture then turned to cross the room. He opened the door and the "closet" lit as he walked in. He knew his mouth was hanging open, but thought he had good cause. This room was even bigger than Lord Daniel's. He really couldn't bring himself to call it a closet. Jack had always been a bit of a clotheshorse. He liked his comfortable stuff that he lazed around in, but he liked to look sharp, too. Most likely a natural tendency reinforced by all the years spent in and out of dress uniform. Sara had teased him about it a time or two saying she hated to go shopping without him because he had a better eye than she did. He put up with it but had always been pleased to be able to do something nice for her. He'd never had to worry about getting her the wrong color blouse or scarf for her birthday. But //this// was incredible. Rows and rows of shirts, pants, jackets, suits, any and everything under the sun, including what looked like a number of some sort of gown or caftan. A flash of Sara's side of their closet hit him. //Pregnant clothes.// Except these were men's clothes and in colors Jack tended to favor. Jonathan had to not only maintain a certain level of dress demanded by his position, but he had to be able to do so throughout every stage of pregnancy as well. He had easily three times the clothes in Lord Daniel's closet.

Jack closed his eyes and sagged against the doorframe. Just when he'd thought he'd gotten a grip on some piece of this weird ass situation, it just slapped him in the face again. He'd seen the man waddling along like an overfed whale, seen him lying with his newborn daughter sleeping in his arms, but no, it was seeing his damned //closet// that really brought it home to him. In the familiar world of the SGC, it was easy enough to toss Jonathan into the convenient catchall "weird shit at work" box. Just toss him in and lock him up. Nice, neat, out of sight, out of mind. But not here. This was //Jonathan's// turf. This was the home of a living breathing man who had given birth who knows how many times. He had a closet bigger than Jack's first apartment jammed with clothes he could wear no matter how swollen he was with pregnancy. This wasn't waking Jack's ghosts, but it was finally making him think about what //Jonathan's// life must be like.

Jack slowly walked into the room and started noticing little details like a silver brush with the initials "JOJ" engraved on the back. A single cuff link sat next to the brush with a scribbled note "J, found this in my box, didn't see the other one, ask Beecham. Love, D". He guessed he'd never gotten around to asking Beecham. Little domestic touches that made the difference between a theoretical construct and someone's home. A picture in a silver frame of Lord Daniel and Jonathan sat behind the brush. They were both much younger and Jack wondered if it was from before the invasion. A double silver frame sat next to it. One side held the photograph of a new baby. The other side a lock of hair framed in lace. Jack sank onto the bench in front of the tiny counter. He reached out a shaking hand and picked up the double frame. He kept telling himself that this wasn't his business, that he was prying into another man's pain, but he brought the frame into the light just the same. He ran his finger over the tiny features and traced the glass over the lock of golden hair. Slight smudges on the glass told him his wasn't the first finger to follow that path. A sound drew his attention and he found Beecham watching him.

"Her name was Claire." The old man gently reached for the frame and Jack handed it to him carefully. Beecham pulled a cloth from his pocket and polished the frame, he didn't touch the glass itself. He replaced the frame on the counter and adjusted it until it was just right. "There are two frames like this in his lordship's closet."

Lord Daniel's words echoed through Jack's memory. //Two beautiful, perfect daughters.// Jack swallowed. "What was her name, Beecham?"

"Maria, sir. She was," Jack managed a weak grin at Beecham's discomfort. His verbal evasions made talking about a specific consort difficult, it seemed. Jack took pity on him and made a guess.

"Jose's daughter?" Beecham nodded gratefully.

"Yes, sir." Beecham stared hard at Jack. "This is difficult for you, too, isn't it, sir." There was no question there. Beecham knew. Jack sighed and looked back at Claire's picture.

"You have no idea." Jack looked back at Beecham. "Or maybe you do." As the words left his mouth he realized just how much he sounded like Daniel. If Daniel said "for crying out loud" any time soon, Jack might just wig out completely.

"If I may be so bold, sir, do you have any children?" Beecham looked like he knew he'd just walked out on very thin ice.

"I did. He died." Not going there. He hoped his potential source didn't want any more from him because he didn't want to shut him down, but he didn't want to go into it. "Look, I don't mean to pry, well, yes I do," Jack hurried to continue at the other man's offended frown, "but only because I want to understand." The old man grimaced, but nodded. "If it's too personal, I won't be offended if you don't answer. Just say the word and we can change the subject." Jack needed to not get on this man's bad side, but he had to ask. He wished Daniel were awake, he'd be able to do this more delicately, but Jack and Beecham seemed to have just shared a moment. Maybe he could get it out without insulting the man. "You seem to have some, difficulty referring to Jonathan and the others." Ok, Beecham didn't look too offended yet, maybe a touch embarrassed, though. "Is there some taboo or something that we should be aware of?" There, that wasn't too bad. The old man's face cleared some, he apparently wasn't offended, but still looked a touch embarrassed. Maybe this was just a problem for him. Beecham paused a moment then seemed to come to a decision.

"I came into service when Lady Claire was born. When she married, I came with her as part of her personal retinue." Whoa, Jack hadn't really thought about this stuff. He tried to picture the woman he'd seen in the few pictures Daniel had shown him over the years with a "retinue" but failed. In all but one of the pictures, she'd been dressed in work clothes and frankly looked kind of grimy and windblown from working on digs. She'd always looked happy, though. He wondered if Lady Claire Jackson had been as happy as Doctor Claire Jackson. He hoped so. "When his lordship was born, she turned most of his care over to me when she was busy on the estate or in the village." Now the old man smiled the first genuine smile Jack had seen on his face. "//Master// Daniel was quite a handful, if I may be so bold."

"Go for it. //Doctor// Daniel is still a handful." Jack didn't know a great deal about Daniel's childhood. He never talked about it aside from a few comments about his time in Egypt before his parents died. He'd seen his file when he first joined the SGC, but the official report told only the number of foster homes and the fact that he had no further contact with anyone from them. At the time, the lack of contact was all Jack had been concerned with, too. No one from his childhood needed to be investigated further. Since then he'd wondered from time to time, but even when Nick did his revolving door act through Daniel's life again, Daniel had remained silent on the subject. After the mission with the Keeper, neither of them had been in any mood to talk about it. The hangover had lasted a whole day, though.

"Lord Cascadia has always gone his own way." Apparently, there would be nothing further about this Daniel's childhood. "Before the plague, his lordship refused to marry." Beecham was starting to look uncomfortable.

"Please go on. I need to know this stuff." Inspiration hit. "You've heard about //my// Daniel? What his life has been like?" Beecham nodded, what these men knew about Daniel's story had apparently gotten to him. Jack hoped it wasn't common knowledge throughout the household. Daniel hated being pitied.

"His lordship's gentlemen told me that Lord Jackson accepted him." Okay, maybe he could use this. Daniel's lover hated doing it, but the Colonel needed the intel.

"Yes, he did and I can't tell you how much //I// appreciated that. Daniel knows Lord Jackson isn't his father, but," how could he say this?

"I understand, sir. The mind says one thing, but the heart says another." That was as good a way to look at it as any.

"Exactly. I need to be able to help him through all this, but, well, this isn't really something I'm very good at. The more I understand the more use I can be." Appealing to the old man's protective streak where Daniel was concerned seemed to be doing the trick.

"When his lordship turned down the first young lady Lord Jackson found for him, there were," Beecham was having trouble with this. Jack had run into these guys before. They'd rarely been of any use to him, though. They were fiercely loyal to the households they served. Still, he had something of an in with Beecham. "There were words between them." Jack bet there were words. In a society with a hereditary power structure marriages made alliances and produced heirs. He didn't have to be an anthropologist to know that. An heir with no apparent interest in women, which seemed to be what Beecham was hinting at, would be a nightmare. "Then, his lordship met," again the pause.

"Jonathan?" Jack must have guessed right because Beecham looked grateful and continued.

"Yes. When they met, Lord Jackson became quite angry." He looked nervous again. All his training and loyalty to his house warred with his loyalty to his late beloved mistress's only son. "They barely spoke for several years despite Lady Claire's insistence." That answered that. Beecham looked a little put out that anyone would have denied his mistress anything she wanted. Must have been quite a lady. Jack wondered if Daniel already knew any of this stuff. He somehow doubted it. Daniel had probably avoided as much personal information as he could in that initial debrief. "Then came the plague and everything changed." Jack glanced over at the rather large gown things and nodded. "Changed" was one way to put it. Beecham paused again. What was the deal with him?

"Beecham, please, for both our sakes, just say 'Jonathan'. You won't insult me and I won't tell. I promise! I'm a first name kind of guy anyway." A smaller, but no less genuine smile graced the old man's face.

"You're very like him, sir. It feels odd telling you these things. It's like you should already know." Beecham shook his head. Jack understood the feeling.

"Trust me, I know //exactly// what you mean. I've bumped into a couple of alternate members of my team before. It's freaky." Doctor Carter was somewhere he really never wanted to go again.

"Have you ever met yourself before?" The man was human after all.

"Daniel did, I wasn't there. This is the first alternate me or Daniel I've met."

"Was he in the military like you?"

"Yep. A general actually. But then he was dead so I don't feel so bad about my career." The man actually chuckled. At this rate, Jack might have the keys to the wine cellar before dinner.

"I can see how that would provide some consolation." Beecham composed himself and continued his story. "After we buried my lady," Jack noted the change in how he referred to Lady Claire. From the look of sorrow on his face, he'd been very close to her. "His lordship and his father began to slowly rebuild their relationship. It didn't happen overnight. Too many hard words had been shared for that." Jack thought of his own father and the arguments they'd had after Charlie died. Sometimes shared grief brought people together. Sometimes it drove them apart. "His lordship had already brought," Beecham paused, took a deep breath and then took the plunge, "//Jonathan// home to live with him." Jack smiled encouragingly. That had obviously been hard for the old man. He seemed to sink into himself remembering what must have been a terrible time. Jack had an idea.

"Here, sit down for crying out loud." Jack scooted to the end of the bench and patted the end closest to Beecham. "I'm getting a crick in my neck." The objection to sitting with 'his betters' was plain in the old servant's face. Jack raised one finger to get his attention. "Not Jonathan. I'm Jack. Just a guy talking to another guy. Sit. Take a load off. Take it easy." Something seemed to thaw in the old man and he gratefully sat. Jack winced in sympathy when his knees creaked. "Knees, huh? Mine, too." Another thought crossed his mind. "Beecham, what's your first name anyway?"

"I always know when it's going to rain." Seeming to ignore his last question, Beecham leaned a little toward Jack and whispered, "Master Daniel used to think I knew weather magic. He used to call me Chac after some god or other in New Spain." His smile from the pleasant memory faded. "When the worst of the plague had run its course, we were all devastated. We not only lost our lady, but all of us lost someone. Sisters, mothers, daughters," he swallowed and Jack could have sworn there were tears in his eyes, "wives." He looked Jack in the eye and added, "My name is Karl, sir." Jack nodded understanding that he was being given a gift of sorts. "Since my Anna died, there's been no one who called me by my first name."

"I'm honored, Karl." Jack decided he and Jonathan needed to have a little talk when this was over.

"Soon word came down from the Grand Council that they might have a way to help us have children. No one really believed them, but we were all so desperate we were willing to believe almost anything." Jack nodded. He couldn't grasp it on the scale they'd endured, but he understood desperation and the things it drove a man to. Even to believing the impossible. "Eventually, the testing began. Most of us were sterile, not that it mattered much to me. My Anna and I had never been able to have children. We doted on Lady Claire and Lord Marten," seeing Jack's surprise he explained, "Lord Marten is Lady Claire's younger brother. Their poor mother died giving birth to him. My Anna always thought that's why his lordship never had a brother or sister, Lady Claire feared the same would happen to her. His lordship's birth was hard on her, I fear." Great. Lord Daniel has an uncle, too.

"Are there any pictures of your Daniel's uncle around here?" Karl started to stand, but Jack put his hand on his arm and urged him to stay put. "I just want to let Daniel know before we go to dinner. Let him find out in private." Karl nodded.

"There are two on the wall in the bedroom. I'll show them to you." Jack thanked him and let him get on with it. They probably didn't have much time left. "When the results of the initial testing were made public, there was," he seemed to search for the right word.

"Panic?" That's pretty much how Jack thought he would have felt. Judging from Jonathan's original outburst in the briefing room, he hadn't been impressed, either.

"Panic. Rage." Karl clasped his hands in his lap. "Hope. I think the hope was the hardest to deal with. When we found out that his lordship and," he smiled his little smile at Jack, "Jonathan might be able to have children, several of the men in the household walked out and never returned." His normally benign face became hard. "We didn't need them here." Now he looked defiant. Jack suddenly realized why Lady Claire had entrusted her only son to this man. He must have been a force to be reckoned with in his younger days. "We managed just fine without them."

"I bet you did, Karl. I bet you did just fine."

"The process was, difficult to say the least. Jonathan understood what was expected of him, but the change took time." Karl started to look a little guilty again.

"I bet it did. I don't know if I have that kind of courage." Jack's support of Jonathan seemed to be what Karl needed. Jack also realized this wasn't just a way to keep the old man talking. He really didn't know if he'd have what it took to do what Jonathan had.

"You're him, sir. You would have been able to. You understand duty." Jack nodded trying to accept the man's assessment. Given the choice between killing and giving life, which was really the harder choice?

"I'll take your word for it. To be honest, I hope it's not a situation I ever have to face." Have Daniel's baby. His mind just couldn't go there. Jonathan's had //had// to go there. Jack hadn't looked closely at any of the pictures on the wall in the bedroom. He'd been focused on Daniel. He wondered if he should look later or not.

"I hope you don't either, sir. No one should have to face what we have." A deep breath and Jack figured Karl was in the homestretch. "As soon as the procedure was proven to be successful, the laws were changed allowing men to marry." Suddenly Karl started to laugh. "Of all the things we had trouble with, figuring out what to call a man's husband turned out to be one of the hardest." He continued to chuckle and shook his head. "Many of the sterile men who were unsuitable for the change became hostile and belligerent. Terrible insults arose almost overnight. Horses are now referred to merely as 'male' and 'female'. It is always the way that the words themselves are meaningless, it's the venom with which they are hurled that cause the pain. Bearing men would be taunted with 'Mistress'. The end result is that 'Mister' is no longer used." He shrugged. The longer they sat and talked, the more the man emerged from the oh, so correct servant. All they needed was a couple of beers and a dartboard.

"What should they be called officially?" Lord Daniel had introduced Jonathan as "First Consort". Karl here seemed to have a problem with the term.

"When I was a young man, there was a word used to describe a woman who carried on with a rich married man." Jack could think of a few words himself. He could think of a few for the man in that situation, too. None of them were fit for polite company, though. "She was called his 'consort' when they were seen in public. Supposedly she was merely a friend, but everyone knew differently." Jack was beginning to understand the problem. His estimation of the other man grew, not that it had been low before, but he'd wondered about his difficulty. "Over the years, the term began to be used in a more acceptable manner to simply refer to a woman or man of lower rank in the company of a member of the nobility, but I," Karl shrugged. He seemed to understand his bias, but it didn't make it any easier. "I can't bring myself to refer to his lordship's gentlemen with //that// word. It would feel disrespectful."

"How does your Daniel feel about it?" Karl smiled.

"His lordship began calling Jonathan," his hesitation with the name had all but disappeared, "his husband from the moment of their marriage." Karl laughed out loud. "It was something of a minor scandal among his peers." Jack smiled. That sounded like Daniel. "'Husband' was supposed to be reserved only for fertile men of the nobility. Some of the silly gits were apparently under the impression that only noblemen had remained fertile." He composed himself and shook his head. "His lordship has never had any patience for 'that sort of nonsense' as he calls it." He sighed. "He does still refer to his other gentlemen as his consorts, though. I know he has come to love them, but I think he feels he would be betraying Jonathan to accord them the honor of 'husband'."

"My Daniel can guilt himself into a migraine over the silliest things." Jack figured he had everything Karl could tell him, but he was enjoying the opportunity to talk about his lover, even if it were mostly about his lover's double. Everything Karl said about his Daniel resonated with Jack.

"Oh, my, yes, the headaches. The boy has always had trouble with them. He's always been so worried about doing the right thing while having no qualms about doing exactly what he wants." Jack nodded and sighed. So much the same. Were he and Jonathan really that much alike? He glanced around the 'closet' they sat in. He still couldn't get his mind to go there. "Sir? Doctor Caruthers told me that they were getting better, but doctors never tell you what they don't want you to know." Ah. Jack nodded.

"Karl, they're doing //great//. Caruthers is just being careful by having them stay in our infirmary for a few more days. Our Doctor Frasier is an //excellent// doctor and she's watching them like a hawk. Good doctor but very scary. Short, too. They won't know what hit them until they're back on their feet and wondering how she did it." Karl nodded then rose stiffly to his feet. Jack figured their talk was over.

"Thank you, sir, you've relieved my mind a great deal. Now, let me lay out some clothes for you both. It wouldn't do to be late for dinner." With that the old man began rummaging through Jonathan's closet, searching for something that would fit Daniel without, no doubt, clashing with his eyes. Jack went to wake his lover and prepare him for what would surely be a difficult evening. He just hoped they'd both get through it in once piece. As he stepped into the bedroom, Jack realized he still didn't know how Karl managed to talk about one specific "gentleman" without resorting to using their name or the dreaded "consort". That was going to bug him to no end.

~*~

CHAPTER 22

Daniel drifted. He knew he was asleep. A commonplace paradox. If he was aware enough to know he slept, he was actually waking up. He clung to the soft warmth of the ragged ends of sleep but it slowly drifted away. He turned onto his side and hugged the pillow to him. Maybe he'd be able to drift off again. He heard voices and wondered dimly if he'd left the television on again. Daniel was still tired and a headache was making itself known behind his eyes. Sleep sounded like a good plan. Maybe his dreams would be easier this time out. The sheets were warm and soft. He breathed in their scent, a little puzzled because it didn't smell like the fabric softener he used. They smelled like coffee and Jack's aftershave. Daniel's eyes shot open. Finally wide-awake, recent events crowded into Daniel's mind.

Daniel rolled back onto his back and raised his head to squint at the room he was in. He let his head drop back to the pillow and groaned when his headache objected. Right. Not at home. Daniel sighed. For a moment he'd hoped it had been a dream. Well, he'd hoped the bad stuff had been a dream. A faint wisp of Jack's after shave teased him and he allowed a small contented smile. That wasn't a dream. He still had trouble believing it and they still had a long talk coming. Jack had mentioned taking off for a couple of week and going to his cabin. //No one around for miles.// Daniel's smile grew and he felt himself getting hard. //This is not good, I can't go out there like this.// He could still hear the voices and the occasional laugh. He finally identified one as Jack's. He couldn't make out what they were saying, but Jack's tone told him his lover was relaxed. // The lubricant of your choice.// Did Jack have any idea what that comment had done to Daniel? He really needed to find out how much experience Jack had. Daniel didn't know for certain if his lover had any clue just how much he wanted to put that lube to good use. Daniel groaned again. Coffee first and then maybe he had time for a shower. A very cold shower.

Daniel rolled over to the edge of the bed and swung his feet to the floor. He'd stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt, which he probably shouldn't have since this //was// a mission. He took a moment and rested his aching head in his hands. The colonel should tear a strip off of him for how he'd behaved so far. He wasn't sure that Jack would. That was another thing they needed to talk about. Daniel figured this was exactly why the military had the no frat rules. He didn't want to transfer to another team or, worse, stay on the base. But there was time to deal with his private life after they got home. He had to come to grips with this new Melbourne Jackson and do it before dinner. //God, talk about taking your job home with you.// Except his home life seemed to just keep slapping him in the face at work. It's not like he //asked// for this. Asked for or not, though, there it was and he had to get through the next couple of days without falling completely apart. It was just another mission. //Right. Tell yourself another one.//

"Hey." Daniel looked up and squinted toward the bathroom, dressing room, whatever. Where were his glasses? He really should consider trying the long wear contacts again.

"Hey." Jack detoured to the table and picked something up before joining Daniel on the edge of the bed.

"Thought you might appreciate these." He unfolded Daniel's glasses and gently placed them on his face. His fingers lingered as he smoothed down the earpieces. Daniel tingled where Jack touched him and he frantically started mentally conjugating Ancient verbs in a vain attempt to distract his libido. Jack was so close, Daniel could smell his aftershave and it was so much better on Jack than second-hand on the sheets. All he had to do was lean just a little. The kiss was almost as much a surprise to Daniel as it was to Jack.

"Sorry." Daniel ran his hand through his hair and tried to ignore the taste of Jack on his tongue or the dazed look in his lover's eyes. He really wished he were wearing his pants. Boxers didn't hide much.

"We're so screwed."

"Not yet." //I can't believe I said that.// Daniel closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest. His head hurt. Maybe he could go back to sleep and start over.

"Looking forward to it, actually." He opened one eye and peered at Jack who was sporting a silly grin. Had he ever been with a man before? He certainly hadn't shown any hesitation last night.

"Not," Daniel stood up. Maybe putting a little distance between them would help.

"Not?" Jack looked worried.

"Here, Jack. We can't," he waggled his head from side to side not wanting to voice the crude words that popped into his head. Daniel wanted their first time going all the way to be special. He shook his head and went for the coffee. He felt like a teenager and he'd // hated// being a teenager.

"Oh. Right." Jack sounded relieved. "Not here."

"Right." Daniel poured coffee into two of the fine china cups and added honey from the small pot on the tray then some cream. There wasn't any sugar. "Mission."

"Of course. Later." Daniel took a sip and nearly choked as he started to laugh.

"God, Jack, we sound like a couple of teenagers." The coffee wasn't as good as what he was used to getting at home. It had the bitterness of poor quality beans and might be a little on the old side. An odd contrast with the wealth represented by the china and the room they were in. Daniel added a bit more honey.

"Yeah," Jack touched his back and then after a little hesitation, squeezed his shoulder before picking up his own cup. "But it's kinda nice." Daniel looked at him and smiled over his cup. Suddenly the bad coffee didn't matter so much.

"This is," Jack looked at his cup like he'd been poisoned.

"Yeah, not Starbucks. It must be hard to get the beans at all. Shipping's probably very expensive. Coffee," he offered Jack the honey, "sugar, many common fruits, probably a lot of things we take for granted are on short rations here. On the other hand, the wines are probably excellent." He blotted up a blob of honey from the tabletop and tasted it. "Most of the honey we get at home is clover honey from the south. I bet these bees feed on grape flowers for part of the year. I wonder if they make mead." Daniel vowed to keep his mind on his job and off of his dick.

"Yes, sir. His lordship's cellars have a fine collection of meads." Daniel whipped around and found Beecham coming out of the dressing area, his arms laden with clothing. As soon as Daniel saw him, he turned quickly putting his back to the servant. He was used to the communal locker rooms on base, but there was something very unnerving about standing in his underwear in front of the old man. At least he knew whom Jack had been talking to. He'd been so wrapped up in his thoughts he hadn't considered it. "I can recommend several fine brews if you'd care to sample some." Beecham carried on while Daniel tried to ignore his underdressed state.

"Um, thank you, Beecham, I, I might take you up on it, um, later." Next to him, Jack started to cough and Daniel glared at him. The reaction was instantaneous. Jack quickly looked away and Daniel smiled to himself. This could be quite useful, not that Daniel would //ever// play such a dirty trick on his best friend, lover and personal pain in the ass. Nope, he'd never do that. His smile widened for a moment, then he drained his cup and poured another one.

"Karl," //Karl? Who's Karl?// "found us some more appropriate clothes to wear to dinner." //Ah, Beecham//. Leave it to Jack to be on a first name basis. Daniel wondered how much information he'd gotten out of the servant. Jack could be very charming when he wanted to be. Usually when he wanted something.

"Oh, right. Thank you," Daniel wondered if he should use the man's first name, then decided not to, "Beecham." He hadn't yet been given permission. His experience with servants tended more toward the slaves they met on missions. He didn't want to push it. Another thought hit him when he realized whose clothes they must be. "Um," he had to turn around now, he couldn't keep talking to the wall, "I don't mean to be rude, but are you sure they're going to fit?"

"Colonel O'Neill and I discussed the matter and I believe these will serve." If he'd insulted the man, it didn't show.

"You'll be wearing Jonathan's," Jack held up a moss green shirt and a charcoal jacket, "and I'll get something of their Daniel's." He put down the green shirt and held up a white shirt that looked like it must be silk.

"Oh, that should probably work." A black jacket had been laid out with the white shirt and all of Daniel's work on getting his libido settled down was undone. Jack was going to look incredible in that.

"I fear the colors aren't the best for you, Doctor Jackson, but," Daniel held up one hand and shook his head.

"No, no, don't apologize, it's fine. We really should have thought about this and brought appropriate attire from home." He set down his cup and went to inspect the clothes laid out for him. He was vaguely aware of Jack and Beecham speaking quietly behind him. The clothes were obviously quite expensive but as he ran his hand over the shirt, which turned out to be silk as well, he could see the wear beginning to show. This was probably something Jonathan had been wearing for a decade. Something told him that these men could probably have had new clothes made whenever they chose, but except for necessities like maternity clothes for the bearing men, he bet they hadn't. Cloth was probably rationed. He had no idea what their manufacturing capabilities were, but he'd bet silk wasn't high on the list in this part of the world.

Daniel met Beecham's eyes and detected a hint of sorrow and a little embarrassment. The old man didn't like having to offer something that might not show his household in the best light and he'd seen Daniel inspecting the shirt. "It's beautiful, Beecham," he floundered for a moment for a way to ease the moment. "I've never been able to afford to wear silk, thank you. This will be a treat." Okay, it was a small lie. He did have a silk shirt at home, but it wasn't until after he'd descended that he'd ever indulged himself. He'd been able to afford it from the time he'd come back from Abydos, but it took years before he truly believed it. The year's worth of back pay he'd gotten had finally broken him of feeling like a penniless student. He tried not to think about the times when he //had// been penniless after college. He still couldn't believe Jack had arranged to put his savings and investments in trust for him. He was, he supposed, comfortably well off these days.

"Very good, sir." His lie apparently had the intended effect because Beecham's subtle unease vanished . "If there's nothing else you require, I'll leave you both to bathe and dress. Please avail yourself of anything you need. His lordship would insist. If you require anything further or if the clothing doesn't suit, please call" he pointed to a button on the wall next to the bed, "and I'll return and find something more appropriate. Dinner will be served in just under an hour."

"It'll be //fine//, Karl." Jack draped his arm over the man's shoulders in what Daniel thought was an overly friendly fashion and walked with him to the door. //Damnit!// It looked like green was going to be the right choice for him after all. Daniel shook his head, picked up his borrowed clothes and stalked to the bathroom. He knew he was being silly, but he was having trouble controlling his possessiveness. //Shower//, he ran his hand over his chin, //shave, dress and avoid Jack at all costs//. They didn't have the time for anything else.

Finally, Daniel stood in front of the mirror adjusting his tie. His headache was just about gone, courtesy of the Tylenol in his pack. He and Jack had managed to get ready with a minimum of interruption. It was a good thing the bathroom had two showers or else they'd never have gotten dressed. The shirt and jacket were a little roomy in places, having been tailored for Jonathan, but not too bad. They fit across his shoulders and chest, with the shirt bunching a little at his waist. The jacket hid the slightly too long sleeves and if it came down to it, he'd undo the cuffs and roll them up a little when dinner was over. Ah, no he wouldn't. He'd have a zat hidden under his jacket, so the sleeves would have to do as is. His counterpart's pants fit reasonably well, though he suspected they weren't supposed to fit so tightly over his thighs. He tended to favor loose slacks so maybe this Daniel did, too. Beecham had laid out a pair of briefs for him, so at least he didn't have to worry about the legs of his boxers cutting into him when he sat. The shoes felt perfect. He'd avoided looking at Jack as much as possible.

The white shirt, black jacket and pants might look ordinary on most men, but the combination did things for his lover that took Daniel's thoughts places they had no right to be on a mission. That had become his mantra over the past hour. This was a mission. A mission. The quiet domesticity of preparing for dinner was deceptively normal. They weren't at home and nothing could happen. He wondered if maybe he should sleep on the sofa in the main room tonight.

"Jacket's a bit big," Jack's face appeared over his shoulder in the mirror, "but overall, you look very nice this evening, Danny." Arms wrapped around his waist and Jack rested his chin on Daniel's shoulder. He liked this position, liked the feeling of Jack's body against his. His lover was just the right height to make it relatively easy for him, too. "You're quiet. Not looking forward to dinner, are you." Daniel blinked at Jack's reflection for a moment. Oh. Right. He'd been so focused on not getting hard and naked with Jack that he'd managed to forget. //Avoidance technique number three. Too bad it doesn't work on my dick.//

"Um." Tell him the truth or give him a comfortable lie. No, if they were going to do this, going to be together, it had to be the truth. "Actually, I'd forgotten all about, about that. Him." Daniel chewed his lower lip and watched Jack's face. He was in deep shit when they got back to the base. "I, uh, I've actually been concentrating on, well," he sighed in defeat and muttered, "on you, you bastard."

"What was that, Daniel? I didn't quite catch that." Cat, meet canary. Jack looked like he should have feathers hanging out of his mouth.

"I //said// I've been concentrating on not ripping your clothes off and dragging you back to bed, you bastard." Preening. Jack was preening.

"You were jealous earlier, weren't you." Could the man get any more smug? Right. Daniel turned around and grabbed him by the lapels and pulled him into a hard, demanding kiss. Jack's arms went around him and he gave as good as he got. They shouldn't be doing this. They couldn't be doing this. If Daniel wasn't careful, he was going to lose it and as good as it would feel right now to show Jack just how much he belonged to Daniel they'd both regret it. Not the time, not the place. He pulled away, panting.

"God, yes, I was and, and it's stupid, I //know//!" This was a mess. Why did they have to find each other in the middle of all this?

"Hey, it's okay, really." Jack clasped the back of his neck in the same way he'd done hundreds of times throughout their friendship. His hand on Daniel's cheek was more rare but no less familiar. "It's kinda nice." He looked thoughtful, "I really like it when you get all grabby and possessive," the hand left his cheek and Daniel missed it immediately, "but I'm not sure Ferretti would understand you taking him outside and beating the shit out of him every time I slap him on the back." The image made Daniel laugh and he looked down in embarrassment. He released Jack's lapels and gently smoothed out the wrinkles.

"I think I wrinkled you." He cocked his head, and looked into Jack's face.

"Mussed. The term you're looking for is 'mussed'."

"Ah. Silly me. I think I mussed you."

"Think nothing of it. You can muss me any time." Daniel straightened and ran a hand over the side of Jack's head.

"I'm sorry, love, I'm not handling this very well." He wanted to kiss him again, but resisted the urge. They had to go out there in a few minutes.

"Daniel, I'd be surprised as hell if you were." That startled Daniel. "//No// one with a beating heart would be able to handle this well. Over all, I think you're doing just fine." Daniel shook his head and started to deny it. "Don't. Don't run yourself down. I hate it when you do that. You're one of the strongest men I've ever known." Daniel's mouth was hanging open in surprise. Jack just didn't say this stuff. "You've been through so much crap in your life and you're still, still //you//!" Daniel blinked. He didn't know what to say to that. Hearing Jack say he loved him was surprising enough, but this was even more somehow.

"I don't know what to say, that's, that's the most incredible thing anyone's ever said to me."

"You're welcome." Okay, maybe a thank you might have been in order, but Jack heard it anyway. "Now, before we get wound up again, there's something I need to tell you before we," he nodded his head at the door, "go." He put his arm around Daniel's waist and led him to the wall of pictures. Daniel steeled himself and faced the wall.

He knew many of the faces. Daniel and his husbands. //His// parents, not Daniel's parents. He held that thought firmly. The children, obviously, weren't known. Though the picture of the oldest could have been a picture of Daniel at that age. If it hadn't been grouped with the other children, he might have missed it being Lord Daniel's and Jonathan's son. Two side by side must be the twins that were mentioned earlier. Daniel's and Jose's sons. The other boys could have been any of the bearing men's sons, but they all had the same chin, the same nose and a likeness around the eyes. They all looked like Daniel. Some of the other adults' pictures looked familiar, but he didn't know them. He guessed they were relatives, but none that he'd known in his life. The pang of loss hit him unexpectedly. He shouldn't feel it about people who may have never even existed in his universe. Jack pointed to a man Daniel didn't think he'd ever met, but the resemblance was too strong to deny.

"That," Jack tapped the frame lightly, "is Lord Jackson's brother-in-law, Marten Ballard." His lover didn't say anything else but Daniel appreciated being pulled a little closer and really appreciated the light kiss on his cheek. "I didn't want you going out there tonight without seeing this, first." Daniel nodded, unwilling to speak for the moment. "He lives with the old man and Nick." Daniel took a deep breath, he'd been doing a lot of that. He nodded.

"Thanks, Jack. It's good to know this stuff up front, I think." Jack led him away from the pictures to the table. He gestured for Daniel to sit and Jack hiked one hip up onto the table.

"I did some thinking earlier and I think I know what's going on here. I want your take on my conclusions. I also learned a few things from Beecham, so why don't I give you the rundown before we face the locals." Daniel smiled. Jack got it. Keep treating it like a mission and maybe he could get through this with his sanity intact. He sat and listened and tried as hard as possible to remember that these were the other Daniel's family. He had Jack and Sam and Teal'c and Janet and Cassie and all the others. Daniel returned to the most important point. He had Jack. That was enough.

Dinner had been excellent. Daniel noted that almost all of it had been made from locally available ingredients. He and, with a little prompting, Jack had made appropriately impressed noises over the dessert, which consisted of lightly fried bananas and caramel sauce topped with ice cream. Apparently, Jose's family sent them boxes of fruit from time to time. With their short shelf life, bananas must be fairly rare in //this// Pacific Northwest. They both drank wine sparingly. Daniel had considered begging off completely, but feared it would be insulting. He'd been right earlier, though, the wines were incredible.

Throughout the meal conversation had been kept to discussions of the adjustments the society had made in the wake of the invasion and plague. The estate's vineyards that had been little more than a point of pride before, never bringing in much income, were now a source of wealth. Daniel surprised himself by thoroughly enjoying Lord Jackson's descriptions of farming in the region. He'd told them about the various small industries starting up to supply the population with locally made goods where possible. The university in Portland, Cascadia's capitol, had just reopened its medical school, a new agricultural college and, oddly a college of architecture. It seemed that while Lord Jackson had taken a fairly traditional path for men in his class, politics, finance, apparently his passion was architecture. Daniel found himself laughing at his stories and the man across the table slowly began to separate from the man Daniel knew from his childhood. He couldn't imagine //his// father getting that excited about any building that wasn't at least five thousand years old and in ruins.

"Thank you, sir." Daniel accepted the snifter of brandy from his host and settled back into his chair by the fire. The zat tucked into the back of his belt poked him a little, but he'd gotten used to carrying weapons and dismissed the minor discomfort. Lord Jackson sat in the chair next to him with his own glass and Jack sat across from them pretending he wasn't dozing off. They sipped in comfortable silence for a time. Ian and Jose had excused themselves right after dessert. Marten was bringing the children home in a few days and they were resting up. Devon had already started them on the regime he and Janet had designed to rid their bodies of the extra chemicals found in the bearing men's supplements. Rest was what they both needed right now.

The additives to their supplements were even more of a mystery than the others. The children's supplements were fairly straightforward, if the goal was to continue 'culling' the population. The fertile men were being kept off balance and focused wholly on breeding. It was only Lord Daniel's insistence on not taking them all the time that had allowed him to maintain a measure of control. It had been Jack who'd pointed out that in a society like this, especially after Beecham's revelations, a fertile man would be in an excellent position to gather a rather large powerbase. That made sense, if Jack's analysis was correct and Daniel thought it sounded just about right. The effects on the bearing men were apparently much more subtle. Daniel hoped they'd be able to find out one day, it was going to bug him until he knew.

"You're very quiet this evening, Daniel." He started at Lord Jackson's voice.

"Sorry," He been caught woolgathering. He knew he sometimes spent way too much time inside his own head for some people, but it was comfortable for him. "I was just wondering about the tainted supplements for the bearing men and what they did." He knew Devon had briefed the older man, but such things apparently weren't considered polite dinner conversation.

"I guess we'll find out soon enough." Lord Jackson put his snifter down and leaned forward in his chair, twisting a little toward Daniel. "I don't know if I can ever thank you and your people enough for what you've done, not only for my family, but for all of us." His hands clasped together and Daniel's stomach lurched. He was making headway in keeping this man at arm's length emotionally, but every once in a while a familiar turn of phrase or gesture would bring it all back again. Lord Jackson reached out and grasped Daniel's free hand, staring into his eyes. "You saved my son and for that I owe you more than I can ever repay." There was raw pain in the old man's eyes and for once he looked older than his years.

"You don't owe me anything, sir," he had to figure out what to call this man, "I, we, didn't do anything anyone else wouldn't have." Daniel didn't know how to get out of this. Awkward didn't begin to describe how he felt. He knew what he //wanted// to do, but while the hug might do the other man some good, it would take Daniel one more step down a path he couldn't afford to follow.

"Say thank you, Daniel." Jack's dry voice broke the silence. Lord Jackson laughed and Daniel alternated between a shy smile for his host and a glare directed at Jack.

"Thank you, sir." The old man squeezed his hand and then released him. He took a moment to rub his eyes then reached for both their snifters.

"Let me top off our drinks." He rose and waved Beecham away. Daniel figured he needed a moment to collect himself. "Colonel, since you're obviously not asleep, would you care for a brandy?" The tease in his voice was unmistakable.

"Maybe a small one. After that wonderful dinner, I'm afraid too much would just put me right to sleep." Now Daniel felt guilty. He knew his desire to get used to being around Lord Jackson was the only reason they hadn't called it a night yet. The hours Daniel had slept earlier hadn't made up for the short nights or the emotional upheaval, but this opportunity was too good to pass up. He was lightly buzzed from the wine at dinner and the brandy was sitting warmly in his stomach. A little liquid fortification was making the situation a great deal easier to handle than it would have otherwise.

"Jack, if you're tired, you could go on and go to bed. We probably won't be talking too much longer." Fortification aside, Daniel half hoped Jack would refuse. Even just sitting in his line of sight, Jack brought much needed comfort.

"Nah, I'm way too comfortable here to even //consider// moving." Jack opened his eyes and winked at Daniel before settling back into his pseudo-nap. //I got it, Jack.// Daniel smiled at his lover. Jack wasn't going to leave him to do this alone, but he was going to give him the space to do it. Daniel could feel himself falling in love with the man all over again.

"Beecham, why don't you finish what you're doing tomorrow. You've been on your feet since I got here and knowing you, probably since dawn. Go to bed." Lord Jackson returned with their drinks and after handing Daniel's his, he remained standing, staring down the old servant. Beecham looked like he wanted to find a way to argue, without arguing, of course, but finally seemed to give in.

"Very good sir, thank you." He approached Daniel on his way out of the room. "Doctor Jackson, if you or Colonel O'Neill require anything in the night, just ring and," he glanced at Lord Jackson, "Parker will see to your needs. Good night, my lord, gentlemen." Protocol satisfied, he left, closing the door silently behind him.

"The old fool is going to work himself into the grave and then Nick will strangle whoever he deems responsible." He sat in his chair and took a drink. "Knowing him, he'll blame me and then Daniel will hate me because he'll have to take over my duties when he'd much rather just keep doing what he's doing now." Lord Jackson smiled at the thought of his son and Daniel wondered if this is what it would have been like had his parents lived. Would they have worried about him like this? Maybe it was just as well they weren't around. His current life would have put them through hell.

"Drink up, boys." He leaned closer to Daniel, "I think your //friend// is subtly telling us it's time for bed." He looked between Daniel and Jack. Running his hand through his white hair, he seemed to be loosing an argument with himself. "I know this is none of my business, but trust me when I say I have a reason for asking." Daniel knew what was coming. He glanced at Jack out of the corner of his eye and saw he was watching them. An almost imperceptible shrug gave Daniel his permission to answer or not as he chose.

"Then ask. I can't guarantee I'll be able to answer it, but I won't think less of you for asking." Daniel hoped he managed to sound unconcerned. He really wasn't sure where this might lead.

"Jose told me that you two were friends. Good friends, but //just// friends." He caught Daniel's eye before continuing, "I've gotten the impression all evening that there's more to your relationship than that." Daniel knew this trick. His own father had used it mercilessly when he suspected Daniel had gotten into something he wasn't supposed to. Some of his foster parents had been good at it, too. Make a few pointed statements and then let the kid hang himself out of guilt. He smiled. It had taken him years to come up with a defense for that one.

"I was just thinking of all the things I've confessed to over the years whenever someone used that tactic on me." Lord Jackson returned his smile. Daniel leaned a little closer and lowered his voice, no need for Jack to hear this. "Half the time I'd confess to things they never suspected me of in the first place."

"My wife, my Claire, was especially good at it. Between the two of us our son never had a chance." Lord Jackson drained his snifter and sighed. "I still miss her."

"My sorrow for your loss, sir." The old man nodded, accepting his condolences. "I miss my wife, too. My Shaur'e. She was so beautiful, so strong." Daniel drained his own snifter, it seemed appropriate. A private toast to his lost love.

"My sorrow for yours, Daniel." Daniel nodded. "My Claire was beautiful as well. And strong."

"I know." Daniel figured all so