Updated PartTitle: Shards of Broken. . .
Author: Alex Quinn
Fandom: X-Men
Pairing: Scott/Logan
Summary: While trying to help a woman Scott, and Logan find something out about each other.
Archive: Yes.
Rating: NC-17
Parts: Not sure
Status: WIP
Series/Sequel: None as of yet.
Website: None
Disclaimer: The only character I own is Winter. The boys belong to the creators of X-Men.
Authors notes & Warnings: This story is about a desease called, "Self cutting." One I unfortunately know too much about. To suffer from it is a real bad thing. So don't think lightly about it. Also if you know anyone that does suffer from it please gently help them into getting help. DO NOT try to force them. You'll only push them away. They may lock themselves further inside themselves. ~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~Xavier had been trying to track her down for almost one year before he got lucky. He then sent to have her come to the mansion with hopes that she would decide to stay.
In his office.
"Nothing can be done I'm afraid. She's just given up. I've tried everything I can think of and nothing has worked," her doctor said with a deep sigh.
"I believe that no one is truly hopeless. Give us a chance to try to help her?" Charles asked.
The man sighed and removed his glasses to rub his face only to get up and pace. He put the odd rimmed glasses back on to look at him. Hope clearly in the depths of his green eyes.
"Very well. I've tried everything else. I hope and pray that you and your doctor can help her."
"I won't give you any false hopes, but I can tell you we will try our very best to help her."
"Thank you Professor Xavier. Just to know that she is in such capable hands makes me feel so much better," he said with an exhausted smile.
"Your more than welcome Dr. Grant."
He moved to the door and looked back one last time then left.
Charles let out a deep sigh then moved out to find Scott in Logan's hands.
"What is going on out here gentlemen?" Charles asked with a stern frown.
"Ask him Professor?" Scott asked sounding odd.
"Logan?"
All Logan did was let him go to take a step back and turn on his heal and stomped off not looking back.
"Scott?" Charles asked confused.
"I have no idea Professor. He's convinced that I. . . um. . ."
"That you what Scott?"
"Had said something."
"Did you?"
"I'm not sure."
"I see."
~ ~ ~
In a room.
She knelt on the carpet holding onto her head with both hands rocking forward and back while softly muttering something to herself. She then slowly stopped to sit back and pick up the dagger in front of her to look at it.
With a deep breath she slowly extended her left arm and brought the dagger up only to make a quick cut on the inside of her left arm wincing. Then another followed just a little bellow the first then a third until her arm was covered with four inch cuts from her wrist to elbow. She watched as they bled but only a little never more than that.
She frowned then opened her clenched fist only to cut the palm hissing out from the sudden added pain to watch as they too bled lightly. She held the dagger tightly as she just stared at her arm feeling the stinging pain. Wondering if this time she would scar. . . she never had all the other times she had done it.
'Maybe I can't, or maybe. . . maybe I'm meant to suffer like this for the rest of my life,' she thought feeling the tears again.
She grabbed the bottle of mudslide and took a long pull to finish it trying to drown her pain and anger, but the tears fought even harder to be released. Fighting was becoming harder as the days went on. She just slowly dropped the dagger on the floor to lay down on her side curled up to cry herself to sleep.~ ~ ~
Not wanting to face Scott anymore that night Logan walked. He came to a sudden stop as he picked up on the faint trace of blood. He turned slowly trying to pinpoint it to face one of the guest room doors. He frowned as he slowly and silently crept to the door to listen. Not hearing anything other than slow breathing he tried the handle to frown finding it locked. 'He'll be pissed, but if someone's hurt inside then I have no choice,' Logan thought to extract his claws and popped he lock. He went in and froze at the scene before him. He crept over to her and sniffed to pick up on deep old pain along with real bad depression. He slowly reached for the dagger to put it up on a shelf then felt her throat. Not getting a reaction scared him. He just carefully picked her up and rushed her down to the lab.
"Logan, what. . . did she do that to herself?" Scott asked shocked.
"Yep. Found a dagger next to her. She was on the floor of her room. She was drinkin as well," Logan said and carefully laid her down on the bed to stand back.
"What is? . . . Oh dear," Hank asked to gasp softly seeing her.
Logan just left.
"Logan said that she had done this with a dagger," Scott said with a deep frown.
"Yes I would agree. She must be more upset then Charles and I had been thinking."
"Logan also said that she had been drinking. Do what you can for her ok Hank?"
"Of course."
Scott left and went to her room to find Logan there looking at things. Scott noticed the dagger and cringed.
"It's lucky she can't bring herself to cut any deeper," Logan said his back to him.
"Yes it is," Scott said and went to take it, but Logan spun around and grabbed it.
"Logan?"
"I'll keep it safe. You should lock up the knifes in the kitchen as well. Who knows, she might go lookin. . . glass too."
"You think if she can't find a knife she'd use glass?"
"Yep."
Scott cringed again to wrap both arms around himself.
"She's hurtin very deeply. It's the only reason for this," Logan said staring at the dagger.
"True. . . are you ok Logan?" Scott said to ask.
"She ain't the only one to do this," Logan said to leave.
Scott stood there staring at the door after Logan unable to move.
"Scott?" Charles asked as he moved to the door and looked in a minute later.
"Did Hank fill you in Professor?" He asked not moving.
"Yes. Where is the dagger?"
"Logan took it. He said that he'd keep it safe. He also said that we should lock up the knives in the kitchen, as well as keeping her away from glass."
"I see. Good idea. Are you alright Scott?" Charles asked moving in seeing the look and posture.
"I'm not sure."
"What happened?"
"Logan had said that she wasn't the only one to cut herself."
"I see."
"Does he?"
"I'm not sure Scott. . . I really don't think Logan is that type, but then again I don't know him that well."
"No. . . he doesn't let anyone that close."
"Will you be alright Scott?"
"Yes. I'm fine. Just shocked."
"I understand."
Scott left to rearrange the liquor cabinet to put the sharp knives in and closed the door locking it.
"What are ya doing Mr. Summers?" Rogue asked as she walked in.
"The new girl Winter is suffering from self cutting desease."
"So ya had to lock up all the sharp knives?"
"Yes."
"What about glass?"
"She's going to be restricted to plastic cups for quite a while."
"Are ya ok?" She asked picking up on his unease.
"I'm not sure. . ."
"Did ya see her?"
"When Logan brought her down to the lab."
"She's goin to be ok Scott, the Professor's going to help her," Rogue said softly moving to his side.
"I know. . . it's just seeing her like that. . . gods I can't even imagine the pain she must be holding inside."
Rogue frowned reaching out to rub Scott's arm. She knew that it will be real hard on everyone with her here, but they won't give up on her. She then turned to find Logan watching them from the door. She saw something in his eyes and gave Scott's arm a gentle squeeze to walk over to Logan.
"He needs someone strong Logan."
Logan didn't say anything just turned to leave, but she grabbed his arm stopping him.
"I know you don't want to, but Scott needs you right now Logan."
"He don't need me Rogue. He needs someone else."
"Stop lying to yourself Logan." she said to let him go and left.
He let out a silent sigh to look back at him seeing just how upset he was. He then walked in and just pulled him close for a hug.
Scott froze not knowing what to expect. This wasn't it, but he was glad anyways and hugged him back.
Logan felt him tense about to let him go, but as he relaxed and hugged him back he couldn't move if he had to. He just held him closer wrapping his arms around him.
"Logan?" Scott asked a minute later.
"You ok now?" Logan asked pulling back letting him go.
"Yes. Thanks," Scott said with a small smile.
"No prob," Logan said then fled the kitchen before he did something else.
Scott watched him go wondering what was going on between them.
Logan went out for a long walk only to catch the smell of brimstone in the late evening brease.
"What ya want Elf?"
"Just to talk my freund," Kurt said moving closer.
"What about?"
"Why do you hide how you feel from him?"
Logan turned and glared at Kurt, but he would not back down.
"The last thing he needs is to know that."
"You are wrong Logan. He does need you."
"Why would he need me Kurt? I'm the last thing he needs right now. He needs someone far better than me."
"He wants you just as you want him. So why in dare problem?"
"He'll want more from me than I can give. It's far too risky to share a bed with anyone, and you know that."
"Not true Logan. That accident happened only because Marie came to wake you from a nightmare. With Scott it would be far different. You both would fall asleep in each others arms. You will not hurt him."
"I don't know Kurt, I just don't know."
"It is alright to be afraid Logan."
"I ain't afraid Kurt!" Logan snapped.
"Logan please, I am only trying to help you."
"Oh yeah, then leave me alone!" Logan yelled at him to glare at the water of the lake.
Kurt sighed a sad sigh to turn and walk off.
Logan let out a sigh feeling too much weighing down on him. He turned to look back at the mansion strongly thinking of just leaving and not returning ever, but that would only make them look for him. He sighed again this one a little depressed.
'Yeah I want him. . . I want him more than I have ever wanted anything,' he thought but still believed that he was the last thing Scott needed.
He just walked back and went to his room.